u/yourname92

I have an area where a built in shelf will be that I want to light up. I have two light boxes about a foot and a half from the shelf. When I search for them I either find amazon stuff that seems sketchy or the puck type of lights that get mounted to dry wall without an electrical box. Is there a name I am missing when searching. I looked at the big box stores and I only find the puck like ones. Does anyone have any other suggestions?

Id like to hear others thoughts on this. I have a pole barn that is 130' ish from my panel in my house, 200amp service. The transformer is 70' from the barn. The power company will run the new meter base wire and bury it for $5 a foot and its a 200amp service. I plan on use it for a welding shop. My other opinion is 100amp sub panel from my house. Would a 50amp welder, lights, air compressor and other 20amp outlets working make my homes power fluctuate? Would it be better to just run the new service? The new service would cost less up front but here is a fee for the meter box. Id like to hear what others have to say. Thanks

Hello everyone. My wife and I have a great marriage and we have been together for almost 20 years. She means the world to me and has made me a better person. We have kids and a house together. We have a good sex life but IMO it could always be better. She says she is content. My wife is vanilla and she doesn't fantasize much and is satisfied by our sex life. She doesn't want sex as much as I do. Me on the other had I have a higher libido and want to do all sorts of things in sex that we don't do or she is not up for doing. I understand and respect her point of view and her reasoning for not wanting to do them. Its just the two of us and we have sex from vanilla to pegging occasionally. Nothing wild or crazy in the bed room.

Long story short we both have been going to therapy for us to work on ourselves that was not related to ENM or open relationships. During that time we had a sex related discussion and talked about threesomes. In that conversations she stated that she understands if someone would let their spouse do something outside their relationship with another so they can experience the things that their spouse doesn't want to do. The threesome conversation lead to me realizing I might be bisexual. I told her that I don't know if I am or not. She said she does not want to have a threesome and it does not interest her. I told her do want one and that I would want one with her in it a FMF. This conversation lead to us talking about open relationships.

She said that she herself has no interest in having sex or creating other types of ENM relationships with anyone outside our marriage but would possibly let me partake. Im a little thrown off by this. She is a very smart and understanding person. My thing in our marriage is I like it being equal. If I want an participate relationship then I should let her experience it. I don't like things being one sided. She seems to be ok with the thought in her head of me having sex with other people and doing things not related to sex. I struggle a bit with the idea of her having sex with other people. Its not the fact that don't want her to enjoy herself or have fun. I want her to have fun and feel good. The main problem I have is that I want to do so much with my wife such as; have anal sex with her (that's off the table due to complications from child birth), cum swapping, different positions, threesomes, BDSM, role play, explore fantasies, different sex toys, and much more. She says she is just fine with normal vanilla sex. If she was wanting to have other sexual partners and do these things with them I would feel terrible. I would think to my self why would she do that with them and not me? Or what did I do for her to not want to do that with me? That is the main thing for me. This is all imaginative but I think it helps to process the stuff this way. I imagined situations and I would feel jealousy with her doing stuff with another person, but i feel that is understandable. I feel that I would be ok in the end if it was this way. Again even if she did things we already did, I would get jealous because I want to do those with her. I understand that and I just need to process it. I don't think I would feel as jealous for that reason compared to the first one. She told me if she even wanted to she would not want to talk about it with me. Make senses but I wouldn't want to fill in the blanks. This I don't know if I would want to know or not until it happens.

I don't feel like I would want an open relationship if she would want to do those things with me but she also seems to be ok with the idea of me getting to experience what being bisexual is.

She also made the comment that she knows me better than I know myself and she said that I would struggle and probably would not be able to commit to having sex with another. She did not elaborate much else about that. I told her I wont know unless I try. She also is under that assumption that the situations would be hookups or one night stands. I told her I would want to get to know the person some before being sexually intimate with them especially if we do certain sexual things.

She said that she is holding off on the open relationship stuff until she works through her therapy stuff on herself and then will talk to her therapist about this stuff and then we can go to couples therapy and work on it.

Has anyone experience this?

How do people process the though of their spouse doing sexual related things?

Is anyone in a type of relationship where the one spouse is open and the other is not by choice? How did it go? Where there any problems? How did you work through it?

Has going to therapy to work through any of it helped?

Does anyone have any advice?