There’s something wrong with me no wait everything everything is GOING WRONG
Life’s just fucking shitty I don’t have that many great friends im jealous of my friends who are all in healthy relationships im fucking depressed I’ve tried to commit many times but Im too much of a coward I’m the funny friend so I fall in that archetype I got a shitty toxic family life’s just really hard in general schools a huge bitch teachers favoritise too much the school does a lot of nepotism and favoritism which pisses me off I’m fairly popular I guess but not that much. I lost my best friend (not dead) him and I barely talk anymore and it’s just so sad I haven’t seen him in 11 months we talk on insta in the same school and all he’s in my bus I’m no longer in the bus since 11 months cuz money problems we barely talk like we used to I try to be as active as possible I spend all my free time doing homework so I can talk to him but I have to do it secretly cuz my mom can’t find out. my sister gets pissy when I need her phone to talk ti him. I’m in a group with all the popular kids in school and they hate me and they say I have too much attitude, my humor pisses them off apparently while they joke about epstein, Diddy etc and when I join in they get mad I stay because my best friends are in that group. I’m a third wheel in my bffs’s relationships and that makes me cry too because why me. Ive always wished to be successful but school is so hard and getting voice acting opportunities is so difficult and most are 18+ and I’m not. I wish life was how it was before I’m adapting and flexible but life’s been so hard I’ve been having a lot of stomach issues prob cuz of my depression anythign I eat I just vomit so my mom’ been giving me soup and like yoghurt with rice (she cares abt me a lot but sometimes too much) yesterday I found out I got PMOS even though Im very healthy and I’m underweight apparently my strict diets that I set for myself backfired on me. I got sexually harassed online four or five times and when my friends asked me to talk about it they made gagging/vomiting noises even tho I said none of the bad parts. everything is just going up and downhill at the same time.