Love life’s a train wreck as per usual, my uptight boss keeps riding my ass at work when I’m not even doing things that need belittling, my weight is starting to get out of hand, and the way the world is going right now, sometimes suicide feels so tempting
So, as a mod that's decently active in this sub it felt wrong to not bring this up in a post since I value transparency and respect all of you. We recently had to kick a moderator out of the sub, this isn't the first time, we've had a few leave from our massive cast, but this one felt necessary to address. Olistu, or Oli has been removed as a moderator and permanently banned. Now a few of you may not know who he is, a few might know his as the guy that has responded to almost every post on this sub, and a few might know him as the mod that is on almost every post. There were a few things that lead to this happening that had been building up for a while actually. Most of them were internal moderating conflicts with him and a few scenarios where he had made a very serious situation with a poster much much worse.
This will kind of be filler so if you don't care for it, feel free to skip, especially because I'll be putting a trigger warning for SA. This'll be going over internal conflicts we had with him, or I guess, I mostly had with him. He said a few weeks ago in a group chat we have for moderating that "everyone deserves kindness." This isn't awful at face value but the context was important and I asked him "So do assaulters deserve kindness?" He didn't say yes directly, he just continued to say "Everyone deserves kindness." He must've not gotten what I was getting at so I said, in confidence to him in front of everyone else "So my assaulter that molested me deserves kindness?" You can guess what he said. Honestly ruined my night and he didn't back down.
Now more recently, there was a post that I handled myself and handed out 7 bans to transphobes. There were 3 mod mails from said transphobes, me and the sub owner, Aspen, both said to NOT reply to the mod mail period. No grey area, we're not engaging with transphobes when half our staff is under the trans umbrella, myself included. You can imagine the FIRST THING Oli does when he wakes up. Directly goes against what the owner and I said to not do and says "You need to hear people out no matter what."
...
There's just so many issues with that that Im not getting into. If you think he's right, feel free to speak up, I'll gladly whip out the ban hammer for you.
Now, the most important part of this post, please do not engage with him in DM's. I know him and I have a feeling he's going to try his best to "help" still. If he reaches out in a DM ignore it and or block him. He has been banned for a reason and as I said with that one poster, he can make situations MUCH worse.
Im sorry this is a long read, I can make a TL;DR in the replies if needed.
So I was talking with my brother last night because I had a theory about a video game character being transfem, and he said “honestly transgender in general is such a dumb concept. Like you’re still a boy, you still got a penis. I see no reason that you should just suddenly say you’re a girl.” And just.. wow. I was too stunned to speak at first, so I told him that he shouldn’t say that, his response was “why? People need to toughen up. They’re so sensitive nowadays.” …WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN!? so I gave him this hypothetical “what if you felt uncomfortable and horrible about being a boy your whole life, and you’re finally given a chance to be a girl, just for people to call you a boy, which you hate being?” And his response was just… so bigoted. “Well I don’t so why should I even care? It’s not like it matters anyway.” Yeah maybe I won’t tell him I’m trans…and to add insult to injury, he’s also racist, using monkey as a derogatory term against his of color friends, and even just other people who aren’t white I just… what the fuck man… he’s also homophobic with him saying “yeah, this game overuses lgbtq like can we just have some normal people on this game for once?” I don’t know what to do…
They're mainly heaven stans and I prefer the hell part of the franchise so I admittedly felt like I didn't fit in there already. A lot of them talk constantly about Adam and simping for Adam and shipping Emily with Abel. In fact the server has 7 Adam emotes and a whole serapherd channel. I talk a lot about Alastor tho. I knew they weren't interested which is fine but lately I feel like some of them were straight up ignoring me. Even when I talk about other things. I frequently get glossed over in conversations. Even when I'm talking about heaven. Eventually I asked directly if there was a problem. One of the mods told me they DMd me and I just hadn't seen it yet. I open it and it's a four paragraph essay text wall about how my simping for Alastor is too much and a problem and making others uncomfortable and all I talk about and that I need to stop doing so. I admit I talked about him a lot but they do that with Adam all the time. It kinda rubbed me the wrong way. Regardless I haven't talked about Alastor all day. Some of them are still ignoring me. Should I just leave that server? Or am I overreacting? Should I just put up with this or should I stand up for myself or just leave? It wouldn't bother me so bad if it weren't hypocritical. I still have the dm. I don't think they're intentionally being mean but I think I don't fit in.
That is all.
He reminds me a lot of myself.. ughhh I love him
This isn't really a vent but does nobody like short men? (Ik it's probably just because most of the people voting are probably straight men)
Recently YouTube has doubled the amount of watch time hours/views required to get monetized, which really sucks for small creators. It doesn't change my goal of making videos as I'm not in it for the money, but I still wanted to comment on it saying it's demotivating. People immediately just kinda attacked me (Mostly passive aggressively) for the type of content I make and for being a young adult.
I wasn't even talking about myself, I meant in general, which I feel like everyone would agree on that, am I wrong? Is it not valid to say that if the job someone is striving for suddenly doubled the requirements they'd feel less motivated to go for it? That's like if it suddenly took 30 years to become a doctor instead of 11-14. Anyone would feel demotivated. Am I really immature for thinking that?
Attacking me for the content I make is silly because 1, everyone starts somewhere, 2, I thought people wanted creators to do what their passionate about, so I don't know why their attacking me for that.
It's ironci because I feel like calling me immature for making content out of cartoons I like is immature in itself.
no matter where i go there's always ppl who talk abt their love lives- i cant escape it-
im single, im aroace, even if i SOMEHOW got into a relationship, i wouldnt survive- im meant to be alone- i wish i had more friends, i wish i could see my current friends more often- i wish i had a life- all i do anymore is sleep and doomscroll
i feel sick when i get surrounded by too much love life talk, ppl talking and sharing abt their relationships- it makes me feel broken and alone- i start to feel like i have to be in a relationship even though it'd be torture to me-
i wish i had more ppl in my life, i wish i had more friends... maybe then i'd finally be happy and not feel like the broken loser i've always been...
Her reasoning was that we weren’t enslaved like black people wtf like it’s still counts it’s prejudice against a minority so yes it is . It doesn’t matter if is wasn’t as bad as someone else. Yes slavery is horrible and my heart goes out to those who it happened to . But hating trans people isn’t better. Also since I’m not allowed to have my phone in school my replies must be late .
Tw: Bullying, harassment, reference to SH.
I thought I changed from how I was in the past. I used to be so cowardly, but it seems like I still am.
There’s this one guy in my life. He’s honestly as jackass, I’ll mention stuff I like and he always chimes in with “That thing is dogshit!” And most of his humour in past consisted of telling me to >>Kill myself,<< calling me slurs, and saying he’d kill my partners. I forgave him for that, and I’m trying to let bygones be bygones.
But for whatever reason I act insanely pathetic around him.
I keep trying to do these litmus tests to see if he’d still be a jackass to me, or if he’d just leave me alone.
And one of my exes seemingly flirts with him, and I can’t tell if it’s a joke or not. If it’s not, I can’t believe that my ex would like a guy who was openly so rude to me and him, joke or not. And that has me acting like a crummy incel going “WHY DO THEY LIKE BAD BOYS!?” Instead of just accepting that my ex prolly just likes him.
My current bf joked around with him and my pathetic ass thought they were flirting. And I ended up just acting like a clingy sulky douche.
I’ve become everything I didn’t want to be. Cowardly and spiteful.
I hate myself and wish I could just bring myself to act like the bigger man for once.
Every time I go to say anything I just tell myself to shut up before I can get a word out, I don’t want to keep going, I just want to crumple into a pile because I know I’ll end up dead or rotting away in a psych ward eventually, all I’ll get in response is “people care about you” and “don’t give up” from this I know
So during the last month or so I’ve been feeling incredibly dreadful it’s hard for me to do anything nobody really wants to talk to me or do anything and even having some medical stuff go on and feel terrible