u/Virtual-Weakness-499

I'd be a peridot. Probably an era 2 peridot because I relate to being "defective". I'm very smart, creative and chaotic. I'm good at building things, fixing things and creating. I'm a nerd.

I think Alastor would be a red pearl. The concept behind Alastor as a pearl was that he started somewhat at the bottom in society both in hell and earth and had to work his way up to earn respect. He is also very elegant and intelligent and old fashioned and classy.

Our fusion: vesuvianite. They would use they/them pronouns. While not necessarily menacing looking, be afraid. They're somewhat stable in terms of collaboration, but chaotic evil. (My chaos + Alastor's evil) They would have Alastor's destructiveness, moral apathy and evil, but my bluntness and upfront nature so it wouldn't be masked under games. They'd basically just be the joker from Batmanor Bill cipher. We're both manipulative, cunning and ambitious. I honestly think the crystal gems would have to separate us like malachite and this fusion would end up "benched" as Garnet put it. When separated my dynamic with Alastor is that I'm the submissive, but I also keep him somewhat grounded. I imagine as a fusion his dominance would overpower my moral compass and grounding. Fortunately for everyone I doubt Alastor and I would fuse. He doesn't like to be seen as weak or someone who needs help and I have sensory issues so I doubt I'd like fusing. In the I can fix him dynamic I think he'd just make me worse

Lucifer would be red diamond or canary diamond. Reasoning is obvious.

Our fusion: apple quartz. probably wouldn't be able to stay fused for very long at first because the sheer depression and abandonment issues we both possess would split us up pretty quick. I could see him wanting to fuse at least once then finding out it's not as easy as some long time fusions make it look. If we got the hang of it or overcane our depressionforst, I think they'd be goofy like me and Lucifer both are, but a little smarter. Honestly I think of the three characters I ship myself with our dynamic is the healthiest thus far.

Vox I just started liking literally yesterday so I am still working on the fusion. But I think he would make a good zircon.

They're mainly heaven stans and I prefer the hell part of the franchise so I admittedly felt like I didn't fit in there already. A lot of them talk constantly about Adam and simping for Adam and shipping Emily with Abel. In fact the server has 7 Adam emotes and a whole serapherd channel. I talk a lot about Alastor tho. I knew they weren't interested which is fine but lately I feel like some of them were straight up ignoring me. Even when I talk about other things. I frequently get glossed over in conversations. Even when I'm talking about heaven. Eventually I asked directly if there was a problem. One of the mods told me they DMd me and I just hadn't seen it yet. I open it and it's a four paragraph essay text wall about how my simping for Alastor is too much and a problem and making others uncomfortable and all I talk about and that I need to stop doing so. I admit I talked about him a lot but they do that with Adam all the time. It kinda rubbed me the wrong way. Regardless I haven't talked about Alastor all day. Some of them are still ignoring me. Should I just leave that server? Or am I overreacting? Should I just put up with this or should I stand up for myself or just leave? It wouldn't bother me so bad if it weren't hypocritical. I still have the dm. I don't think they're intentionally being mean but I think I don't fit in.

I had just lost several religious friends irl for being a hazbin fan when I got an invite to this discord server. They knew this. In fact it's why I was invired by a mutual friend. She was trying to help me make new friends. I was having some problems with my psychiatric meds too causing me to hallucinate as well. So I was very vulnerable. Keep in mind I'm 27 and most of the people in this server were 25-30. Once again they knew all of this. When I joined the group they welcomed me with open arms... A little too open for strangers on the Internet where they said they were like a family and wouldn't ever ban me or abandon me like my religious friends. When I told them I was legit seeing demons idk if they didn't know what I meant or if they were enabling me but they not only didn't care, they just brushed this off as not a big deal like it's normal. I mainly roleplayed pentious, but I also roleplayed two OCs. In this group shipping oc x canon was common. I really wanted to ship my oc with Alastor but a big wheel mod in the group already shipped her oc with him. She and I didn't exactly get along. We tried to be friends but it didn't work out for reasons unrelated to Alastor or the rp. At first she said she was cool with sharing Alastor but any time we tried to do this she had some reason we couldn't. First the poly ship was too confusing. Then having us take turns or having multiple storylines going was too confusing. Then she started encouraging me to ship my other oc with Lucifer. This seemed harmless so ok... But here's where everything went to crap. Another Alastor simp joined the group and she had no problem sharing with him. They easily got along. They easily did the poly thing. I wasn't happy about it but didn't say anything. My oc got sidelined and I hardly ever used her. People even started making ship kids for the polycule... So I politely brought up asking if I could add my OC Betty again. They agreed, but then Fionna (fake name for the girl Alastor simp) accidentally DMd a message talking about me to other group members to me instead of Victor (fake name for the guy simp) reading "she already has an OC x canon ship doesn't she? It seems weird." Yeah, the ship YOU encouraged. Ok so I went on the group VC immediately to confront her and before a single word came out of my mouth she was already on the defensive and crying. Legit wailing. I had to comfort her and coddle her, assure her I wasn't mad and agree to only having my oc x Lucifer ship to calm her down. I could tell by the rest of the group that if I didn't, she would have me booted. It wasn't the first time either. A girl Beth (fake name) got booted a few weeks ago for her oc being too violent and op with other characters but secretly they all just did it because they were annoyed by her. They used to talk about her behind her back too. I repressed my anger for a few days until one day Fionna was going on a tangent oorp about how well her oc and Alastor work together. I tried throwing some hints that I'd like to join in too. I remember being pretty ignored. I assumed that this was just going over their heads. But then Victor made a comment about how great this group is because of open communication. How we can tell each other anything. Another group member chimed in that we were like a family. So I decided "screw it" and posted a text wall rant about how I've been sidelined my whole life and how the group has favoritism and how they put Fionna over me. I didn't insult anyone personally, I didn't cuss anyone out. I already knew it was gonna end badly when I posted it but I didn't expect the sheer hate I got back. I thought they'd just boot me. Nope.

"You're manipulative ngl"

"No adult should be this obsessed with Alastor"

"IDC if I sound like an asshole I'm begging you seek therapy."

"Fionna used to never talk about her oc and Alastor and she finally gets the courage and you do this?!"

I told them at this point it wasn't about Alastor, that I was having a mental health crisis. I said I'd delete the rant and leave.

"Don't bother we've already seen it and we're already upset!"

"*Insert my bffs username here* if you know her address you could have her hospitalized."

After this I just said "even my religious friends didn't hurt me THIS bad" left the group and didn't come back. Ironically I actually am in therapy now.

My upvotes are disappearing and my comments are being collapsed.