r/ExpatFIRE

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Backstory. I met a woman in my early 20s, she had a stepson. I accepted him as my own, we had no support from his bio dad and his mother did not seek any. I worked hard in local factories, day and night, sometimes 80 hours a week to provide.

In 2017 my wife, had our first child together. A baby girl.

I was excited, but there was a bit of a concern that the child had none of my features. One day a friend of a friend says "sorry man, no way that's your kid." Their suspicions were true.

In 2023 I had a DNA test done, and it wasn't my child.

My wife, ran off with the child and left me, I asked to continue to see the child but she said no. As it turns out, the man she had got pregnant by had no interest after she reached out to him. I spoke with a lawyer, who in the state of Iowa, advised that as I was the legal parent that if I were to seek out a temporary custody order, I could see the kid but I would have to file for divorce. I was close to the child, often being the primary care giver between

I filed for divorce, and the stepson I had raised for years, testify that I was a horrible father and that I would constantly hurt his mom. Absolutely untrue. In fact the opposite was true and I had pictures to prove it but those didn't seem to matter in court. Then the death threats started, but cops believed they were just a part of the divorce, and didn't care. In fact, they told both of us not to call them anymore.

The day came where I was told I would have to give 25% of my wages. I can no longer afford my home so I moved across town and live in a crappy one bedroom apartment. I only save $150 a month doing this.

Court order says that I get to see the child every other weekend. I was excited for this at first but the child doesn't want to have anything to do with me. This 9-year-old only wants to be with the mom and her boyfriend and their large family instead of coming to my crappy one bedroom apartment and to be honest I don't blame her.

I returned to court and said I would like to leave the mother and the child no longer wish for me to be a part of their lives and I felt that my DNA test that proves that I'm not the father justified me moving on with my life and admitting that I lost the last 20 years of my life to some kind of social prison.

My first hearing on paternity ruled that the status quo would remain and that I would continue paying not 25%, but now 30% of my wages and I would not get an opportunity to see the child more and in fact because I was pressing the issue of paternity I would now see the child less one day every two weeks.

I lost my job due to breaking my shoulder building scaffolding. That's also when they found out I would need a kidney transplant and I began dialysis.

I kept up with my $1300/mo in child support payments, and I filed another motion with a reputable attorney in the area. She was known as a bulldog. She vouched for me, that I wasn't the father, DNA test to prove it, and still the judge said "No, you are on the birth certificate, DNA test or no DNA test, you will remain paying child support"

I can't live like this anymore, and I want out of the country. I don't know what to do.

I (25) have just landed a new job with the option to open an HSA. The thing is, I plan to expatFIRE in my early 50s. Since HSAs are only allowed to be used for health/medical expenses... how would that work if I am no longer in the USA. Should I even bother with it or is there something else you would suggest? Is there something that I'm missing that would make it make sense for me to use it? I also plan on giving up my US citizenship as well.

Hi all,

I’m 99% sure this question has been asked approximately 100 times before, but here I am, adding to the collection.

I’m looking into investment options where I could potentially get a golden visa in EU. Ideally, I’d like the investment to actually make sense financially rather than just being an expensive piece of paper that says “congratulations, you may now reside here.”

Based on my research so far, I’ve been looking at Greece, Portugal, and Malta. I’m also aware that some countries, like Spain, have removed real estate as a residency-by-investment option, so I’m trying to make sure I’m looking at the current rules and not information from some random 2022 blog post.

For anyone who has recently gone through this process, I’d love to hear your experience:

• Was it actually worth it?
• Which country did you choose and why?
• Did the investment generate decent returns (or at least hold its value)?
• If the residency/investment policies change in the future, do you think the underlying investment would still be worthwhile?
• Did you use an immigration/investment agency or lawyer? If so, was it worth the cost?
• Any hidden costs, annoying surprises?
• Can I invest incrementally rather than all at once?

I’m especially interested in real experiences from people who have gone through the process recently, given how much these programs have changed. I’m just trying to do my homework prior.

[supprimé]

When I was young I had foreign ESL pen pals. I enjoyed learning about regular people in other parts of the world. I do not participate in the social media platforms common in the West, because of how toxic they are, and how toxic the owners are. This means I am at a loss as to how to meet English speaking people from other parts of the world. I can help them with their English if they would benefit from that.

My goal is to learn about them and their culture and eventually visit them in their country. I have no desire to live sheltered in some enclave of entitled American expats. I don’t think normal tourism with regular guides will really show me what a place is really like. Are there any subreddits or web platforms to meet people this way? I am seeking friends only, not romantic interest.

I wish to make friends online who live in any of the regions that western expats tend to land with SE Asia, central America, and possibly Mexico being high on the list. Unfortunately for me, my ignorant country does not value learning a second language. My greatest handicap is that I only speak English. I am willing to learn to communicate better where ever I end up, but I am far better with STEM subjects than I am with languages.

Apologies if this is not appropriate for this sub. I am an American in my late 40’s hoping to retire early (in 6 to 10 years) somewhere where I can be part of the local community. I have many reasons for wanting to do so. The men in my family tend to die fairly early. My father collected 1 social security check before dieing, even though he had paid into SS since he was 12 years old. Going back 12 generations the Average age of death is 67 and the median is 56.

With the rise of the oligarchs in the states and their market capture of all aspects of modern life, I feel disheartened trying to stay and retire in the USA. I feel like I am giving them my hard earned money every day and getting less and less in return. I understand that the same is more or less an issue in many parts of the world, it just feels like the developing world still has pockets of local economies where the money I spend to by food, to pay rent, and to support local events, helps the local community.

Previously I have traveled to many rural areas in the western US thinking of retiring there. But the rural politics have now become so toxic, I do not wish to be a part of their communities.