r/HearingVoicesNetwork

Hello.

I am not a spiritual person and I am not mentally insane. But I have been experiencing brutal attacks since a few months ago. It is like something has attached to me and I don't know what it is. I do not hear voices in the strict sense, but these voices can speak. They seem to have a personality of their own. It seems like they are countless. During these experiences, they showed me things. But their purpose is unclear. Some of them seem to need help. But I do not know what to do.

One of them burned my index finger while I was on bed, leaving a blister. And now I have a scar that could not be possible otherwise without disproving what is happening to me. So, there is a possibility I might be possessed despite how ridiculous that sounds.

Any help or advice is welcomed.

So my voices humorously brought up an anecdote from very early on with this experiment of a subreddit. about 3 years ago I had walked someone through the summoning ritual I did to welcome "spirit guides" into my mind and fight back against the harassers. I was excited that someone would give me the time of day and more so that someone would try this at the time.

I spelled it all out, what I did and what I assume to have been the important intentions behind the meditations. TO MY SURPRISE they wrote me back within the week. YET it was bad news. The person (unbeknownst to me) had a disdain for people (and I guess spirits too) of a certain race... I'm paraphrasing here "you sent me (insert racist expletives) Indian snake bitches." He was rather pissed. I was amazed... this bible grubbing southerner (USA) not only did the exercise but ALSO it worked... he was clearly inundated with the same naga I still have with me to this day. They are beautiful things, and funny too. A shame some clearly visited him to say hi and were rejected... I think they are awesome! There was no front loading or priming this person to assume this, I thought his mind would at the time manifest something that he was familiar with. I got the impression he had no idea what any of this stuff was... How truly bizarre.

https://preview.redd.it/gqcmx9p7rxth1.png?width=403&format=png&auto=webp&s=6c83f7bbdd95dbd33cd995a1fe71a895a6c66d91

HVNers for ya...

• everything is too loud most of the time, can’t concentrate on things or get stuff done. Feel it’s gonna burst. Only time get somewhat peace is when I have a good sleep. Dread waking up

• hearing my name be called, since I was teenager in my ear, my a man. Happened a few times.

• waking up from sleep due to banging loud noises that aren’t actually there until I realise when I wake up and check. Also wake up panicking get straight up run around because if feels like something bad has happened while I’ve been asleep. Wake up to whispers in my ear, my name again.

• everytime I go outside, car sounds are too loud, I think everyone is staring at me in the cars, I’ve asked people what they are looking at.

• having to put my fingers in my ears everytime I am out or overwhelmed, to block out the constant sound. Even when it’s quiet.

• don’t like people looking at me, can feel they do know something.

• I know what people sound like before they speak, I feel I can hear their voices or them speaking when I look at them.

• paranoid about people in power, authorities, working together because they know I’m strange and sometimes it obvious that I’m not well and wondering why they haven’t noticed - thinking they’re going to write stories on me after they’ve waited to the very last point I lose it. They’ve been watching me.

• I don’t like people walking behind me, I will cross the road or stop to let them walk infront.

• I tend to wait til it’s dark or late so I can actually leave the house.

• when I was small I used to make up imaginary friends, my mum and dad said I had a ‘ghost’ friend and used to laugh at him when I was toddler age. As an older child I made friends up, I didn’t want real friends. I have always been a loner, and never have true friends from choice. I would never trust one.

• struggle really badly to take rubbish outside (no attachment to it like the classic hoarder) it’s like I really can’t take it outside and I cry because of this, because it can become a problem. I feel like neighbours will take photos of me or there at their windows waiting to se me because they know I’m strange.

• feeling people are trying to push me and are aware I’m struggling but getting off on trying to push and push me to do something drastic or have a breakdown, so they can report me or gain evidence

• struggle with eye contact, struggle to stay in a room with people too long, can’t sit down. At family functions, I’m the one that can’t and never have been able to sit down and chat, I will wander or stand in kitchen on my own.

• I sometimes see black figures (masculine) they stand and stare at me at night mainly when I’m trying to go sleep. Or mainly when I’m on my own. I can feel the prescence and I know it’s there. In my boyfriends house, I have felt a male prescence but I’m not sure if it’s a spirit, when I had a bad episode mentally and was in his house, I was scared to look at the wardrobe at their top as there was a male on top of the wardrobe and I couldn’t work out if he was trying to get me to go away or scare me of if he was watching me.

• I do know pretty much what is going to happen most times, and I can’t work out if I’m being paranoid or not but most of the time things happen. It’s confusing

• I will go into severe paranoia episodes that can last days if something even slight triggers me - like a no caller ID call, like someone asking me a certain question. Like a knock on my door

• people irritate me so much nowadays, I actually get so angry at people, random people, I take taxis and they are the worst. Rudeness can trigger me so badly and I then be rude back 100x more. I get so angry. At selfish people who have zero manners . I actually went to hit a taxi driver and he wanted me there’s a camera. He was antagonising me.

• when people are talking to me, I can see their lips moving, but it’s way too loud in my head I genuinely can’t hear them. I have to ask to repeat once or twice.

•if I’m stressed I will talk to myself a lot. Even in public.

I am now starting to get worse with this and I have always been this way but not as bad as now, I’m late 20s. I’m struggling. My brothers suicide and other problems have definitely worsened it. I blocked all these stuff out so many times, now it’s gotten too much.

I only realise I’m doing these things until after I have calmed down, or somebody tells me after.