r/HearingVoicesNetwork

The problem with psychosis is that doctors are trying to search for a problem where none exists. They can't seem to understand how to stupid their logic is. In search for the problem, not the solution.

They are too stupid so they can't see this. They also don't wish to give up their power to the philosopher physicists of the future because then they too will be erased. Insane how we got here from the view that "doctors know what's best for you" and they are here to "help".

Like ok, religion says you do bad bad happens to you. But how does that explain trump or putin? Seriously? Karma is real? I can count the worst things I ever did on one hand, and they weren't THAT bad. Seriously. I've never killed anyone, I've never stolen large amounts of property, i've never dealt life ruining drugs, I've never graped anyone or SA them.... I've never intentionally done stuff to hurt people, maybe impulsively but that's it.

edit: now my voices are saying stuff to me that i cant disclose cause theyre saying theyll make it worse for me if i disclose

i am really pissed off i hear voices. i am really angry they labelled me as schizoaffective. i am really mad i have to take antipsychotics. god must be evil, because if he isn't why else would this happen? if god exists everything is their will. if god exists, infinity exists and i just got dealt an absolute shit hand of cards.

Why I hearing voice in my head

Hey , so im a drug addict open and admittedly to all my family and friends, have been abandoned by them all theres a few who still are too nice to fully stop talking to me but ignore me if i try to hangout answer next day etc…. I usedto be the guy with the house everyone hungout at, have housed all of these guys in their hardships no questions asked, anyhow im just giving background to the stress in my life. gf of 4 yrs left me a month ago i dont feel that beat up or upset i knew we werent lasting forever but maybe its hitting me harder than i think anyhow irrelevant.

I began hearing my neighbors voices mostly the father, hes a hippy type dude nice guy shy kinda antisocial in a way, started with his voices as im up smoking drugs all night (alone and overly quiet) paranoid windows covered , i always would and do think and hear him yelling in different ways for me to shut up.

i have done some not so legal things(never hurt or harmed anyone just money bs) and somehow in my head he knows every detail and threatens me all night its actually anytime im inside my house (i live alone right beside them on the water maybe 8ft away, their bedroom is on the close side wall so not far) all i can hear is him threatening if i dont be quiet hes gunna kick my ass or call cops whatever negative things never life taking though.

a few weeks in now the wife is involved in the hullucinations(sorry as i said im a drug addict not a scholar forgive my spelling) and they will argue between eachother about anythint, but mostly how to punish or get me to be quiet.

now the ither side neighbors just moved in. younger 20s very nice but loud drinking everynight music so the voices have started asking me to get them to shut the f*ck up however i can blah blah blah.

i guess my question is, am i fulll blown schizophrenic or just in a drug / lack of sleep / stress form of serious temporary psychosis?

forgot to add, i will get yelled at all night, while im being quiet as a mouse deep down i know they cant hear me, but it seems so actually real, ill see the wife the next day walking dogs and she will smile spark a conversation not trying to get away as if were bestfriends, which i am the nicest person ever, it just confuses the frig out of me, feel free to ask any questions to get a more solid answer, im not fragile please be real with me,

Thanks

Here's a tiny list of some of the things my voices have said over the past month.

"Kill yourself [slur]" over and over, sometimes repeating it for 50-60 times before stopping. Slur can be anything you imagine, from the n-word to anything obscene.
"I love to see children get raped", again repeated over and over. (All of these are repetitious)
"God is a pedophile"
"I control the entire world and you too"
"I'm God and everything is a dream that I control"
"If you don't kill yourself I will"
"Your mom is a whore"
"Fuck you"
"God is evil and rapes everyone when they die"
"The funniest thing is when children get burned alive"

and so on and so on. I frequently wondered at the origin of the voices, now I don't think about it as much. Feel free to share.

Just wanted to mention a recent experience i've been having with files 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 8 & 10.

I have found myself waking up with an anxious start. It is quite disturbing to me. This was after listening to the files on weekends as i was falling asleep.

The triggers from files one and two would wake me up and i would find myself shivering nervously. The last time i listened, as i awoke i could here the files echoing in my brain. This was after i disconnected my headphones mid-session. I could not go back to sleep after that. It took a few tries. A kept waking up startled. Not fun.

This is only my own experience and does not speak for anyone else's. I would suggest having a clear mental state if choosing to listen to these files. I have a 'bunch of stuff' going on in my head lately, unrelated to the files. I was deeply affected by the binaural oscillations. They keep my mind active while listening. If i am correct the tones are well above restful brainwave synchronicities. They are quite stimulating.

I wish to continue with hypnosis, as i am on the learning path to becoming a certified practitioner. Perhaps creating something that is more suited to my needs, which are closer relaxation and decompression. I will continue my research and post my finding here, as this is my current school of study.

Peace and blessings to all!