r/I_DONT_LIKE

Let me just say it. That’s how commercial spaces feel to me lately. You walk into a coffee shop after being out and about for a while, buy a coffee, and just want to sit down for a bit. Maybe read, scroll through some reels, or just take a break. Then either the hard wooden chair starts hurting your back, the table is so small you can barely fit your drink and bag, there’s nowhere to charge your phone, or the music is loud enough that you start thinking, “Am I supposed to leave now?”

And it’s not just coffee shops. Some restaurants have switched to smaller tables, or packed so many seats into the space that you can barely move around. Malls barely seem to have anywhere to sit. Some of these spaces almost feel designed to keep you moving instead of letting you hang around for a while.

Businesses need to make money. Sure, fine.. And they need customers coming and going. But sometimes the whole setup feels like it’s telling me, “You should go sit in your car,” or “You should probably head somewhere else,” or “You should just go home.”

Nobody is actually kicking me out. I just keep ending up in places that somehow make me want to leave. Idk, anyone else feel like this?

I’m honestly getting tired of how often a woman who goes through a bad relationship or has a terrible ex ends up being asked, “Why did you choose him?”

The bad ex is the part we already know happened. Maybe he was incredibly good at hiding who he really was. Maybe his intentions changed later. Maybe there was something else going on that nobody could have seen coming. Who knows.

Whatever the reason, if someone was willing to throw away their responsibility and basic decency toward their partner, shouldn't that person be the one getting called out?

I understand wanting to look at what she missed if you're trying to help a friend avoid making the same mistake again. But sometimes the conversation starts spending more time asking why she didn't see the red flags than talking about what the other person actually did.

Once you know how someone turned out, it's pretty easy to look back and think, “You should've known.”

I honestly don't understand where the idea that the person who got hurt should also be blamed for what happened even comes from.

Like seriously, i love horror movies but it just seems most horror video games are just boring puzzle games that get spooky every once in awhile. I mean we've had actual horror games based around fun gameplay (dead space) so why can't there be more of those and less just slow walking, finding stupid keys to open doors or solving a puzzle that opens a door which really should break your immersion because thats not how actual doors work.

I also shouldn't have to find chess pieces to turn the damn power on. Just saying

Okay, this probably sounds more negative than I mean it to. I just think it's kind of funny once you start noticing it.

Do you notice this with the women in your life? Before a woman you know becomes a mom, you might ask how work is going, what she's been up to, what she's into lately, or just how life has been treating her.

Then she becomes a mom, and the way people talk to her seems to slowly change. People start asking, “How are the kids?” or “How's the baby?” and before you know it, a lot of the conversation is about the kids.

What's interesting is that there's almost an opposite side to it too. Women who become mothers also seem to start talking about their kids a lot more themselves. What their son did, what their daughter is struggling with, what's going on at school, how little sleep they're getting because of the kids, stuff like that.

Obviously, their kids are a huge part of their lives. I get why they talk about them, and I don't think there's anything wrong with asking about someone's kids.

I just find it interesting how the two things seem to feed into each other. People start seeing her more as a mom, and her own life starts revolving more around being a mom too.

Sometimes I wonder when “being a mom” stopped being one part of who she is and became most of what people talk to her about.

Is that just part of being a mother?

My company made a huge deal about switching to a 4 day workweek, framing it as this progressive perk for employee wellness. In reality, the workload and expectations didn't change. We just had to cram everything into four days, so Monday through Thursday became nonstop. : |

And Friday isn't really an off day if you're still expected to keep an eye on Slack and email in case something comes up. Even if you're technically off, seeing a Slack notification pop up still makes you think, "Do I need to check that?" Nobody says you have to work, but you definitely notice when people expect you to be reachable.

Idk. It feels like we got the part that looks good in a job posting, without actually getting the extra day of rest.

Every time I try to read a “new adult” book, it’s like the main character always hates at least one of their parents. If they don’t, someone close to them definitely does. I know WHY the authors do it; it’s because a lot of their reader base is probably like this and they want to be “relatable.” But as someone who doesn’t have a great relationship with a lot of her family, I just find it depressing. Sure, if I watch shows like Full House, sometimes I can feel a kind of longing or wistfulness, but at least SOMEONE gets to have a good family. When I read about people who have situations like mine, or often way worse, it just makes me feel worse. I wouldn’t mind if this was in some books but does it have to be in almost every single one? Why can’t I read a book about someone who will go home to her loving and supportive parents, maybe a sibling or two, when she gets hurt by her love interest? Or maybe she’s estranged from her family at the beginning, but by the end of the book they patch things up? I see enough broken families IRL, including my own, and I don’t need to see it over and over again when I try to read these so-called “feel good” books.

My mother went to Walmart for a few items. She had milk, bread, and apples. She placed her reusable bag on the self checkout scale. The machine flashed red and said “unexpected item.” She tried again. Same error. A worker reset it and told her to scan without the bag. She scanned the milk, but the scale did not register it without a bag on it. She put the bag on, but the machine complained again. After three attempts, she put the milk back and walked out.

Later she told me, “Every time that screen blinked red, I felt like I was failing a test I didn’t study for.” She is not afraid of technology. She pays bills online. But that machine made her feel invisible.

That made me think about parking apps, digital coupons, and hospital kiosks. Everything assumes you have a smartphone, steady hands, and good eyesight. If you don’t, you are already behind.

I see older people standing in regular lines, waiting for a real person. They are not lazy. They are just trying to live in a world that keeps changing without asking them.

If someone goes to college, takes on student debt, and ends up in some entry-level office job, people usually talk about them like they’re getting their career started and doing what they’re supposed to be doing. It’s just assumed that they’re headed in the right direction.

But if someone skips college and goes through an apprenticeship to become an electrician, plumber, welder, or some other skilled tradesperson, there’s still this tendency to talk about it like they took the less ambitious route.

And I get why people value office jobs. Some are easier on your body, have better working conditions, and give you more options if you want to move into something else later. I’m not saying the trades are easy either, or that everyone who goes into one is going to have a great career.

If we’re talking about what makes a career a good path for someone, what are we even judging? The education it took to get there? How much it pays? How hard it is on your body? How long you can realistically do it? How much room you have to move up? Or just how respectable the job sounds to other people?

Because those things don’t always line up. And yet “went to college and got an office job” still gets treated like proof that someone is moving forward in life. Someone who becomes a skilled tradesperson can still get that “well, at least they have a career” kind of reaction, like it was somehow the backup plan.

I typically use marijuana to manage chronic pain and PTSD, though sometimes recreationally as well. And once in a blue moon, I land on a strain that works great for all three. But then I go to get more only to find that strain is no longer available, so I then have to cycle through a few more strains to find something that hopefully works just decent. Why can't dispensaries offer a static product line? Really grinds my gears.

I saw this one video of a content creator who was reviewing a blow dryer. Her mistake was that she thought the blow dryer didn't have a cooling option, so she ended up reviewing it unfairly. People were upset because there was a cooling option, so she made a response video.

Her response was that she was sorry and that she finally figured out where the cooling button was. She showed us the cooling button, did her hair using it in the way that she likes, and reviewed it fairly. And people were still unhappy. They were just repeating her mistake as if she didn't make a whole response video and showed us what she learned. She even changed her to review!

I get that it's the internet, and not everyone is entitled to accept an apology. That's fair. But I don't understand the purpose of acting as if the person who made the mistake didn't change their behavior.

I mean, when someone makes a mistake, we all want them to acknowledge it and fix it. If they did that, that should be a good thing! There's too many people in this world who believe that they could never make a mistake before.

And I know I'll probably get attacked for this since Reddit is a bit anal about this kind of stuff. But I said what I said.

Sometimes it honestly feels like a spider web sitting at the bottom of the screen, just waiting for you to get caught. Say I’m looking at a $100 pair of shoes. The moment it pops up with “4 interest-free payments of $25,” my brain instantly goes, “Oh, 25 bucks is nothing.”

If you have the money, splitting it interest free is fine. I use installment payments sometimes too. But this is where it gets weird for me. When I see $100, I have to ask myself if I really want to spend $100 on these shoes. Paying the whole thing at once makes me stop and think about it. But then the page starts emphasizing $25, and suddenly I’m thinking, “$25? I can probably squeeze that into this month.”

Those are two completely different questions. Being able to afford the next $25 doesn’t mean I think the shoes are worth $100. And I can see how someone could keep doing this over and over, $25 here, $30 there, until they’re juggling payments for things they already bought and working just to keep up with them.

That’s what makes BNPL feel so clever to me. It seems to be changing the way we decide whether something is affordable in the first place.

I don't drink, and usually that's not something I think twice about. If someone offers me a drink, I'll just say no thanks. What I don't get is why that answer so often leads to more questions.

"Why don't you drink?" "Are you sober?" "Are you in recovery?" "Wait, are you pregnant?" Sometimes I'll say I just don't like drinking, and that somehow doesn't seem to satisfy people. If there's no obvious reason, it can feel like people just assume I'm being boring or difficult. But if there's a medical reason, I'm in recovery, or I'm taking some medication, suddenly nobody needs to know anything else.

Why does "I don't want to drink" need to come with a reason people think is good enough? I get offering someone a drink. I get asking once. But once I've said no, why does it become a conversation about what must be wrong or different about me?

And it's not like people have never heard of not drinking. There are mocktails everywhere now. People talk about cutting back, taking breaks from alcohol, being healthier. It's pretty normal.

You say you're not married and someone asks if you've met the right person. You say you don't want kids and suddenly it's "You'll change your mind" or "You might feel differently when you're older." I usually just let those comments go because I don't want to turn a simple question into an argument. Whether I've met the right person is none of their business, I haven't changed my mind about kids, and I'll be the one responsible for my own life anyway.

Somehow there always has to be some explanation for why I don't want those things, whether people think I'm afraid of commitment, had a bad childhood, or just haven't met the right person yet. Not wanting marriage or kids doesn't mean I'm avoiding some major part of adulthood. Maybe I'll change my mind someday, but I'll deal with that when I get there.

Someone can be married with three kids and nobody asks whether they're mature enough for it. It's just considered normal. I don't have a problem with people wanting marriage and kids. I just don't understand why choosing something different gets treated like you're stuck in some unfinished stage of adulthood.

At what point does being an adult just mean you're old enough to decide what kind of life you actually want?

So can we stop turning ideology into part of every purchase? If a product works for me and fits my budget, I genuinely don’t care what the CEO tweeted, which political PAC they donated to, or who is currently boycotting them on social media. I bought a shirt because it fits. I bought a perfume because it smells really nice. Sorry, but I have nothing to do with the CEO.

Why does buying something from a brand suddenly have to say something about who I am or what I believe? I don't think that's reasonable. I don't like this whole idea that buying a shirt or some perfume somehow turns into a conversation about what you support and what your political views are. It’s exhausting how basic grocery shopping or buying a simple item has been turned into a public declaration of who you are and what you stand for. Can we just stop? I already said why I bought it.

I've gotten into the habit of adding exclamation points and extra niceties because a short, direct email can feel way harsher when I'm the one sending it. I'll read something back and wonder if I sound annoyed, even when I'm literally just asking someone to do something.

Look at some of the emails from the men I work with. They're way more blunt, and nobody seems to read them as rude.

I still use exclamation points, though. At this point it's partly just habit, and honestly, it's easier than having to deal with someone's hurt feelings later because they decided I sounded rude. A few extra words can save a lot of unnecessary back-and-forth.

But I've also had to be careful not to take it too far. I don't want to apologize for things that aren't my fault or make every recommendation sound uncertain. I used to say things like "I think you're wrong about this" when what I really meant was "I disagree." It took me a while to get comfortable being more direct.

I also find myself matching the person I'm talking to. I'm probably more bubbly with women who communicate that way themselves. With some men, I don't feel the same need to add all the extra friendliness, and nothing bad happens.

So I don't think the answer is that women should stop being friendly in emails. Being friendly makes work easier, and smoothing over someone's hurt feelings afterward is exhausting.

Have you ever opened an app you’ve had installed for years, gone to use a feature you’ve always used, and suddenly found out it requires a subscription now?

I opened up an old piece of software I’ve had on my computer for years, went to use one of the features, and it told me I had to pay monthly to keep using it. My first reaction was basically like “Seriously? You too?” Subscriptions just seem to be everywhere now.

If it’s something like Netflix or Spotify, I get it. You’re paying every month because they’re constantly giving you new movies, shows, music. That makes sense to me. But then more and more software started doing it. Then cars started putting certain features behind subscriptions. Now it’s showing up in all kinds of little appliances too.

Sometimes I stop and wonder how many things I actually own anymore. Like how many things can I buy and just keep using without having to keep paying for them? And where does this END?

Am I going to open my fridge one day looking for something to eat and have to watch a 30 second ad unless I subscribe to the ad-free plan?

I don’t know if you’ve ever actually broken down your annual mortgage statement, but the amount going toward principal on mine was much smaller than I expected. Most of that payment is still going straight to interest. And yeah, I know how amortization schedules work. That’s not really the point.

I’ve never really understood why buying a home is treated like the ultimate sign of financial responsibility. Renting gets talked about like you’re just burning cash to pay someone else’s mortgage.

But with a mortgage, a huge chunk of what you pay every month still goes toward interest, except now you’re also stuck with every single cost and risk. Property taxes, home insurance, a leaky roof, bad plumbing. If something breaks, it’s on you.

Paying a landlord every month gets labeled as a financial loss, but making that mortgage payment to a bank for thirty years while taking on every repair risk gets called "financial freedom." I just really dislike how unquestioned that narrative has become.

I'll give you a little backstory.

My stepmother who raised me could never have children so she was always taking in a lot of different children, teenagers and sometimes young adults.

This one particular young man who came to our house when I was maybe about 14 or 15 I thought he was younger than me but I found out recently that we are only a year apart. He became very close with her, not necessarily me but with her and he spent a lot of time in the house with us so he knew a lot of background but not necessarily the important background.

Fast forward to about 2004 2005 the stepmother passed away. In her Bible she had all of the names of people that she had ever been associated with, upon her death I found the Bible so I start going through and calling all of the people who she had accepted into her home help to raise or just help in general with their lives otherwise.

Just to mention although she did that she was not always a great person everyone who was accepted into her home or her life has different stories to tell about her.

So I found this particular person's phone number and I called him and of course they were going on and on about how we grew up in the home together and we were like brothers and sisters.

And even though I had called that person and they had proclaimed to be so close with her they still did not make it to her memorial or her funeral.

Flash Forward to 2026 I was on Facebook just playing around bored as hell and something made me go into my messager and then even a step further into the spam messages that Facebook does not allow to appear on the surface only when you click into the spam folder of the Facebook Messenger.

For some reason I spotted a profile that had no picture on the profile but something made me click it and I clicked and it turned out to be this man who is now a older man that I remember being in the home with her.

The profile left their phone number and the name so I knew exactly who it was, I called them. The message was sent in 2025 but I did not find it until recently 2026 this month matter of factly. When I call the number I was surprised the person answered so their number was the same.

Of course we went through all of the old background going back to the past this person made a few comments that the woman who passed away had made about me so I told them you know you're talking about the 15-16 year old me whatever she had said that I was that might have been true and may not have been true but it was my past and they did not know me.

No matter what the conversation over a span of a few weeks the person start calling me almost everyday saying things like oh my goodness I always felt like we were sisters and brothers. I always felt like we were close. they began to talk about the woman and then talked about how well the woman treated them and how the woman helped them to finish their high school diploma get their CDL and that they had grown up and had a good life because of her.

The first few conversations I refuse to say anything bad about the woman to that person because I just didn't want to mess up their memories, that was their memories and their life experience but they noticed that when they would talk to me about her and say things like "oh wasn't she the best, oh wasn't she this or that, I would not make a comment so they asked me about that why I would not comment about this woman.

Well since they ask I told them my experiences were not the same, I had been raped and molested by some of her family members she had desperately tried to ruin my life, when I ran away from home and dropped out of school, I still got a job, I worked every day never lived out on the street except for once I was homeless but I pulled myself up and got on my feet.

When I begin to say those things about the person the guy was shocked he said oh I didn't have that experience, I can't believe your life was like that the woman never had anything bad to say about you. I told them that wasn't true because some of the things that they mentioned about me being 14, 15 or 16 that after all of these years that I had not seen them for 30 years they still brought that up as if that was still me today. They had to shut that bull ish down right away.

They still continue to call me and still wanted to carry on the facade that we were like brothers and sisters and it was fine I thought to myself maybe they are lonely they're living in a totally different city now maybe they just don't have anyone so I continue to talk with them.

Last week I got a call from them and they told me oh my goodness I'm calling to see if you can help me I went into some store and I swiped my card and come to find out the scammers took all of my money out of the bank.

Because of how I was raised I am very skeptical of people everyone that I interact with always has a question mark on their head in my mind, actions speak louder than words so I watch people's actions and less their words.

That person said to me oh my goodness the scammers got all of my money I'm going to be broke, well I'm 64 and that person is 63 so I said to them don't you have a second bank account somewhere at least with 10 or $20 on a cash app at our age you should never be broke.

I even shared with them of how I was dating and I was very skeptical of people that I meet today because some will come up and tell you right away they don't have a dime they can't afford to take you on a date and I'll always look at them and think we're in our sixties and you mean to say you don't even have $20, what have you been doing for the last 30 years? I'm not rich, I'm not well off but for a rainy day at least I have $45 on a cash app so that I can buy myself some lunch or some gas.

I think they were shocked when I said that to them so we hung up the phone. I definitely think that this person wants to use that connection to try to get money out of me but I don't see life like that I haven't been around you for 30 years so I don't know if you've been a recovering drug addict alcoholic what you've been doing in the last 30 years. I'm not going to give you any money if you want to call and you want to chat and talk that's fine but don't ask me for money you don't know me.

They called another Day and again they started that conversation about oh I feel like we're brother and sister we've been a part a long time but we'll get to know each other I just feel like I have a connection with you.

This morning I had got up to go out to have my coffee and gas up my gas tank and the phone rang and it was this guy and he says to me oh my good sister, I've locked my keys in my car I have $100 but I need 60 more dollars to go with it to get the Pop-A-Lock or someone to come and open the door so I can get my keys out the car.

I knew we were going to lead back to this asking me for money I could just feel it. I laughed I said oh I don't have a dime I said and the little money I do have saved I have to keep that, I'm a single woman out here in these streets. I said why don't you call your car insurance because if you've got full coverage and collision they will send somebody out immediately to open up that car or put gas in your car they got so quiet on the phone they said oh okay I'm going to get off the phone with you cuz I need to call them and see if I've got that. You're 63 years old you don't know what kind of insurance you've got if you get stranded out on the road. you said you had grown into a wonderful man and you were working and had your own place and you don't have 15 or 20 dollars in the bank as a grown man with no children and never been married?

I don't like when people try to use old connections from the past to try to swindle people and scam them because I think he's a scammer.

Everyone knows America is a country built around cars, but I never really thought there was anything strange about that. When I became an adult, one of the first things I saved up for was a car. I used to not have one, and where I lived, if I wanted to go to the grocery store, visit a friend, or just go somewhere to take care of something, the first question that came to mind wasn't "What do I want to do?" It was "How am I getting there, and how am I getting back?" So back then I was always thinking, if only I had a car. Eventually I bought one, and a lot of those problems just disappeared. But looking back now, there's something kind of strange about that.

For as long as I can remember, a lot of places have basically been designed around the assumption that you have a car. Neighborhoods, stores, offices, restaurants, all of it assumes you can drive there. And we just grow up treating that as normal. Why does an adult have to figure out their transportation first just to live a normal life? It feels like we didn't really choose cars. The cities were built around cars first, and then we learned to organize our lives around them.

Sometimes I wonder if we've got this backwards. The car is supposed to fit into our lives, not the other way around.

I have a high deductible plan, and I’ve noticed how much it affects the way I deal with getting sick. If I have a bad cough or some weird rash, I usually start with the obvious stuff. OTC meds, wait a few days, see if it clears up, maybe look into a telehealth visit.

The problem is when that stuff doesn’t work and I actually need someone to look at it. My PCP usually can’t get me in right away, so urgent care becomes the next option.

And that’s when I start thinking about the cost. If I haven’t hit my deductible yet, I know I could be looking at a pretty big out-of-pocket bill for something that might end up being a pretty simple visit. It stings when the main reason you hesitate to see a doctor isn’t fear of the diagnosis, but fear of the invoice.