r/OrthodoxWomen

Hello ladies!

I'm a catechumen and as of right now, my son and I are expected to be baptized on Holy Saturday of 2027. Praise be to God!

My question is just basically, where did you get your cross necklaces? I am looking for one that is very budget friendly (like under $80 preferably, but really can't go above $100) but is silver in color and will actually last a long time. I know Etsy has many options but would love to hear opinions and other sources too (if there are any within that budget).

I thank you all in advance for your replies!

I come from a culture which heavily values ritual purity and I've always been against it. I posted in a different subreddit and everyone told me that the leper and the hemorrhaging woman were indeed impure.

Everyone says that ritual impurity doesn't mean someone is sinning. But then why is it treated as a sin? Back in the day, a leper or a hemorrhaging woman, who were already suffering due to reasons beyond their control, were deemed social outcasts, barred from praying at the temple, and faced heavy scrutiny. To put it simply, I can't worship a God that endorses innocent people suffering for reasons beyond their control. I was especially disheartened because I came looking for a reconciliation, for someone to prove me wrong, saying that no, Jesus did not endorse such archaic laws. But everyone simply supported ritual purity laws.

I have been miserable because this is a bridge I simply cannot cross. I cannot accept a God that endorses ritual purity laws that harm innocent people over conditions they have no control over.

Hi,
I’m a 20f cradle orthodox who has only found out about it a few years back. Ive done some studying and found some awesome resources along the way. I wanted to ask for any free orthodox books/podcasts/sites. I’m specifically looking for it to be related to femininity or female saints. (Other free resources are helpful too)I’m at a point where I just cannot spend any money but I want to learn and surround myself with the faith as best I can without a community nearby (don’t want to go into detail but my priest (and God) knows the situation lol)

Just for the sake of avoiding repetition I’ll list the ones I already know and have read/listened to.
-Seven holy women (not free but a gift AND I LOVED IT SO MUCH)
-Ancient faith women’s psalter devotional (not free but a gift again)
- mugs and mercy podcast
-veiled in grace podcast (love)
-that orthodox mamas show (love)
-Patristic nectar
-whole counsel of god as well as most ancient faith podcasts, I know they are free
-orthodox true femininity blog (not totally free)

Thank you for any help 💗

The church I'm going to has a cry room but it's always packed with energetic kids playing games and knocking over chairs with their parents chatting on the couch... so packed that it's hard to even walk a few feet in. I've been to liturgy twice so far and my baby has ended up tired and crying/fussy and needing a calm space to chill and fall asleep so I can get us back in the main area and I just can't do that. It's really overstimulating for her (and for me too to be quite honest) and I don't understand how/why the room ended up being used for this purpose. Is this normal in most church cry rooms? Once my baby falls asleep she stays asleep and I can leave, but it's just really hard to even get her even a little bit there in this room.

If everyone on the off chance leaves the room and I get lucky I can turn off the lights and if someone goes to step in they whisper sorry to me and to tell their kids to go back to x and chill out with so and so you can't play there's a baby in there. The first time this happened another woman with an infant having the same issue took the opportunity to join me too. I was just really frustrated because having a baby is hard enough, I don't want anything making it harder. I'm just an inquirer and I'm heavily considering asking to be a catechumen so I need (and want) to continue going to liturgy services, but nap time always happens to be dead in the middle of the service

So, I’ve started the catechism process at a small antiochian parish but it’s becoming so overwhelming I’m not sure if I want to do it and I guess I’d love to know if it’s normal. The first question is of money.

Started giving a few weeks ago (I’m just now in my 3rd month) but the priest has sort of like, been pressuring me (in front of people) Like going as far as to have me buy a book from the bookstore about tithing? And last Sunday sort of suggested that 20$/week isn’t enough? Like he asked me
If I was planning on giving 20$/week alone or more than that? Now granted, it’s a very small parish, counting me it’s maybe 10 people, but I have student loans and a bunch of other things to deal with and it feels kinda early to be asking me for more money? But I don’t know what the normal expectation is as donating goes in the Orthodox Church.

The second is the schedule. I LOVE the Sunday liturgies but the expectation is that I’m there for both the monthly vespers as well, plus biweekly meetings with the priest which is also a scheduling crunch despite the fact that I work. Is that normal? I own a business so it’s a crunch on my already tight schedule.

I dont know. Feel guilt for having these doubts.

Hi, I’m 19 year old female and I am not a virgin. I am not married and the person whom I was with turned out to be a horrible person.

I feel disgusting and shameful. I do not think that I can ever marry someone as I have already lost my virginity. It makes me sad to death as I don’t want to be alone forever, but I’m not sure either if I’d want to be with someone again when I have already.

I need advice on how to move forward and to understand what my situation really is, but I am also afraid to even enter liturgy. I am not baptised orthodox but was baptised in an evangelical church as a baby. Next Sunday I have the opportunity to attend my first liturgy after finally finding an orthodox gathering in my area, but I do not feel like I’m going to fit in at all and I’m very scared.

Please if anyone has advice on what to do with your life when you have already wasted it, on someone who I could never spend the rest of my life with, and what I should do about the gathering?

Thank you for reading.

Hello everyone,
I have been a catechumen/inquirer for about a year and some change. My marriage went from verbally abusive, on a couple occasions physically abusive, and extreme poverty to one with much more semblance of what healthy looks like.

My husband stopped drinking, stopped the verbal and physical abuse, and is so much kinder and tender toward me. We are no longer in federal poverty but able to pay our bills with a little money to spare. Most of my sanity has returned.

But my soul still feels heavily damaged some days. My husband has a pervasive pornography problem, which has led to a dead bedroom for going on 9 years. Our previous priest held my husband accountable for this problem, and he was making significant headway.

We moved for better opportunities, and my husband took the opportunity to resume his pornography use. He is still kind, patient, but struggling.

I had a major breakdown over this and went to our new priest, explaining everything, and telling him my husband needs daily accountability for this spiritual struggle. The priest essentially said that it was”isn’t his job” to check in daily.

I respect this, however, my husband has no accountability and is backsliding on all the promises he has made me- from keeping his phone out of the bathroom, showering with the door open, having an open phone policy, etc. he has gone back on it all.

And my rage is coming forward again. On the verge of violent rage. I feel like a total psychopath. Yesterday I got into the shower with hot water, and silently screamed for 15-20 minutes, crying, and biting myself. While life is so much better, my spiritual state is worsening.

My husband wants to take his time in our catechism, that translates to wanting to put off true accountability and confession.

We visited our old parish and he lied to our previous priest about “having accountability”.

I don’t know where to turn to honestly. I have sobbed in front of the Theotokos and Christ so many times. I understand this is my husband’s spiritual journey and this is for my sanctification. But what was previously compassion and pain for my husband is turning into rage, anger, and disinterest in the faith.

It’s horrible. I should have gone to liturgy this morning but refused. I’m considering going to therapy— there is one orthodox therapist in the area who takes our insurance, I’m just not sure. I need some loving guidance.

Edit: we have a child, we got married as catechumens and I was aware of the pornography. I was hopeful and encouraged by his progress. Our current priest told me that if I was to separate or divorce I would need to be single until our child is 18. I work but do not make enough to support myself. I’d rather die to myself than put my child in a single mom household.

Can I communicate with souls of the dead? Not just family and loved ones but people in general?

I have been going through alot,lots of confusion. I am a believer, and I do worship Christ. But if I worship Him and His teachings,can I be doing it in a "wrong" way? Like different from the church or other people. I am still worshiping Him and spreading love.

....and it was wonderful. Great Vespers with a small group of others.

That's it. That's the post. I'm just so glad I went and I wanted to tell someone. :)

how do we pray? I looked for videos but I don't really understand. I saw that you have to do certain movements and cover your hair, but I didn't understand how many times you pray a day. Then I was wondering what other rituals there are in the day, How we do fasting?

I'm 17F. I come from an orthodox hindu family. I"ve been Christian for the last 5 months, so far no one is aware of my faith other than my sister (26F), she lives in a different state but is here to visit and is staying till the end of November.

In a nutshell, my family, including my sister is abusive. Both of my parents are alchoholics and very abusive. On top of severe psychological abuse, my parents routinely subject me to physical abuse as well. Throughout all the problems in my family, my parents and sister find a way to blame me for it. My mother never wanted to have me, and she has made that very evident throughout my childhood, very openly stating that she never wanted a 2nd child (me). My parents also don't get along together, their marriage is very toxic. My sister also endorses the abuse in a way, routinely finding justifications for my parents hitting me.

Ever since my sister got home, my mom has been sleeping in a spare bed in my room as she doesn't like sharing a room with my dad. There are 3 bedrooms in the house including mine, but my mother chooses to always sleep in my room despite my sister's room having sufficent space, and every single night I'm subjected to my mother's drunken insanity where she continually picks arguments without any logic or reason, ending every single night screaming at the top of her lungs. My sister never offers up her room either.

Because of the history of abuse. my emotions are very unstable, I frequently break down in tears without any trigger and if I'm not crying i spend my days shrouded in a fog of dread. For me, my room was a sanctuary, somewhere I could pray openly and be at peace. Now even my last place of peace has been taken from me.

Whenever there is an argument they swarm me just continuolly talking about how horrible I am and cuss at me.

I also have a hard time at school but none of those hard times have been met with any comfort. When I was 14 I got touched inappropriately at school, and when I came home and told my mom and sister they didn't even look bothered.

My whole family has led me to have a deep seated belief that I am truly the utterly horrible creature they describe me as, I can't even ask God for comfort because the only thought in my head is why God would comfort someone as horrible as me, I really wish he would free me of my pain now.

Repost to another community

I'm struggling a bit and would really value the perspective of anyone who might have experienced something similar. I've been very close to a man for quite a long time. We have loved each other deeply, and our relationship has become increasingly intertwined with his journey into Orthodoxy.

Over the past year he has become much more involved in the Orthodox Church and is soon to be catechised. He has found a community there, met people he really connects with, started receiving guidance from a spiritual father, and become increasingly serious about prayer and discernment.

I've watched all of this happening, and I've also become genuinely interested in Orthodoxy myself. I don't know whether I would ultimately become Orthodox, but something about it has really opened something up in me and I feel things stirring. And I think this is part of why the heartbreak is so complicated.

He has recently told me that, after a lot of prayer, he wants to pursue monasticism. He still tells me that he loves me and that I'm his best friend, and that hasn't changed. But he feels that he can't kiss me or continue having a romantic relationship with me if he is seriously discerning monastic life. He has said that he will respect whatever I decide about whether I can remain friends. I think I can handle remaining friends to some degree but I don't think it will be easy...and now that I've actually said that, the heartbreak seems to be hitting me much more than I expected. I think part of me was still holding onto the possibility that somehow we'd find our way through all of this. Even though I knew monasticism was becoming a serious possibility for him, hearing him actually say that he can't kiss me anymore has made the loss feel much more real.

And the strange thing is that I don't feel angry with him. I understand why he feels he needs to take this seriously. I don't want to stand between him and something he genuinely believes God may be calling him towards. I also don't want to make his discernment about me, although part of me is kinda hoping he will turn around and say he made a mistake?

At the moment I think I need to stop initiating so much and allow him to come towards me. Not as a test, but because I've spent a lot of energy trying to understand and accommodate everything that has been happening, and I think I need to step back and see what remains when I'm not holding everything together.

There is another layer to all of this which I find difficult to explain. I think I am genuinely drawn towards Orthodoxy - but I don't know how much of that is Orthodoxy itself and how much is what I've witnessed it give him. Because through it he has found community. He has found people who are interested in the things he is interested in. He has found a spiritual father who can guide him. He has found a tradition and a framework within which to understand his spiritual life. And I have realised how desperately I want those things too, even to the point where I feel envious of him in this regard. I've been on a spiritual journey myself, but I've felt incredibly alone and unmoored in it. I don't really have anyone who I can go to and say, “I don't have a clue what I'm doing spiritually, but something is stirring and I desperately need guidance. Can you help me?”

In that sense, he has been a kind of conduit. Through loving him, I was introduced to something that I might otherwise never have encountered. And now I'm faced with this strange situation where I don't know how to proceed or where to look. I have spoken to his Bishop and spiritual father once, and he invited me to return, although he is difficult to pin down as he is very busy and I don't know where else to look...

I think what I'm really looking for here is wisdom from women who understand both sides of this:

How do you cope with loving someone who may be choosing a monastic vocation? And if you first encountered Orthodoxy through someone you loved, how did you work out whether the faith itself was calling you - rather than simply the sense of community, belonging and spiritual rootedness that you saw them find? I'm not so much looking for someone to tell me what I should do. I think I mostly need to hear from people who have lived through some version of this and can help me understand how to carry/process it...

Let's lift each other up with prayer and rejoice in the good things that God has done for us!! Without the cross there is no sweet fragrance and we rejoice in both even when it's difficult. If you are finding a situation to be even more difficult than you think you can manage, your sisters are here to lift you up in prayer!

In the comments please share a rose (🌹)for the week, something that happened that was really good or that you're grateful for!

Also please share a cross (☦️) a situation or something happened where you need comfort or something where you really need prayer.

A few days after I gave birth, I was struggling & my husband reached out to my spiritual father. He explained that I was struggling a lot & asked him to give me a call.

The priest did not respond. My husband later followed up & specifically asked whether he had received the message....but again, no response, despite the messaged being read.

I have moved away while pregnant, so I can no longer see him or speak with him at church. This is why we have been trying to reach him by message...

Now, a year plus later, my husband has reached out to him again & the same thing has happened. The message has been seen, but there has been no reply. He did not try to text him back or contact me.

I understand that priests are busy, have many responsibilities & cannot always be available to everyone. I am not expecting a priest to be available 24/7 or to solve all my problems. However, I would have thought that when someone reaches out because their wife is struggling, especially after childbirth, a simple acknowledgement/explanation would be appropriate...

What troubles me most is that this has happened twice & the second time was well after the first incident. We have not received any explanation for the lack of response. My husband messaged "Christ is Risen" in between & Merry Christmas & those messaged were replied to.

Given that I have moved away and cannot speak with him in person, how should I approach this situation? I'll be honest, my husband is a bit pissed off & he has clergy in his family & said this isn't OK.

I am trying to understand what is reasonable to expect in this relationship & whether this relationship is over???

My husband has only confessed about this & said he is not happy at all. I am honestly kinda hurt...