Pristiq saved me, then it ruined my life
I was on pristiq 150mg from the age of 19-22. It wasn’t the first antidepressant I was on but it was the first and only SNRI I’ve had and it worked a lot better than the other medications I’d tried. Pristiq put headphones over my ears to drown out my depression until it was mostly background noise. I coped a lot better on this medication.
A couple years ago my life circumstances changed, and all the growth I’d made in my life thus far, must’ve just hit me all at once or something but suddenly it just became so much easier for me to feel happy. 10 years ago I never would’ve imagined that I’d live a life free of depression.
So naturally, when this sustained I decided to taper off my pristiq. Took me about 1-2 months and I had no issues with the process. That was what I thought.
Around this exact time was when a relationship I was in started to become abusive. I ended things a couple months after that and began to realise that my insatiable libido was suddenly gone. TMI but I used to be able to masturbate or have sex multiple times a day. Suddenly I didn’t even want to have sex with the most gorgeous men I had ever met. I was as dry as the Sahara.
It felt like whiplash going from one end of the spectrum to the next but I chalked it up to my body being traumatised from sex because of my ex.
But years on, this low libido has persisted so I looked into post-SNRI-use as being a cause and what do you know; post-SNRI sexual dysfunction is a thing. And it can last months, years or DECADES. All those years I was thinking how lucky I was that I had not succumbed to the common side effect of low libido and maintained my (very high) sex drive whilst medicated.
If this lasts me decades long I think I’ll relapse into my depression again. It’s impacting my relationship with my partner to the point where he’s the one who is always initiating. He doesn’t complain about it- he is so sweet and understanding. He tries so hard to get me wet every time although most times we end up relying on lubricant. It breaks my heart to admit it to myself but sex is just a chore to me now. I only do it because I want to make him happy.
Has anyone else experienced this sexual dysfunction?! If I had known this could have happened I would’ve just taken my chance with my depression and remained unmedicated. I considered going back on Pristiq to see if it will resolve it but it’s a double edged sword because then I’ll just become more and more dysfunct.