u/TypeAtryingtoB

I was on 50mg for over a year and then my depression came back and I've been bumped up to 100 mg for 2.5 weeks now.

I'm hoping that it's wayyyyy to early and that by 6 or 7 weeks I'm back to myself, but oh my gosh. I have this voice in my head screaming "HELP ME!." I'm just a shell of the person I used to be. Depression is horrible, and I'm actually doing like very marginally better than I was, but existing is a chore and if I didn't have responsibilities, I would stay in bed or live on the couch. It's a horrid existence and it's just wild. I only have my therapist and husband to vent to and I really just sugar coat my suffering to my husband.

I can't imagine enjoying life and wanting to get out of bed and do things. Feeling capable instead of fearful of everything. My gosh. It's horrible.

Just please please please work. It's horrible waiting weeks to feel better.

And I constantly have this low grade anxiety lately that I'm sure is my body adjusting to this higher dose. I hope 100mg isn't too much for me. Don't know why my doctor just jumped to this instead of 75mg. I hate feeling like a trapped hopeless guinea pig. I'm so sad that this is my life.

Just wondering. I've noticed my KP has increased since supplementing.

I got put on a med to help my depression and feel like my skin is so much worse than usual. Wondering if it's in my head?

I was on 50mg for about 9 months and then got depressed again. My doctor upped it to 100mg and I'm still not feeling quite like myself. Still lacking desire and motivation. Hoping they return sooner than 6-8 weeks. I can't imagine actually wanting to do things again.

Ugh, I'm still depressed and now I have acne all over my face and neck. I hope this calms down.

Feeling okay. Less suicidal ideation for sure. A little less resistance in surviving, but still, feel like I'm forcing myself through the day. Still very little desire, but have some hope again.

I'm not in pure mental agony and pain today.

I hope this is some positive momentum and things get better and I can feel like myself soon.

I just want this depression to end and lift. It's agonizing. Everyday is hell on earth. My provider and husband keep telling me to hang in there, but how can I?

I was on 20mg for 3 weeks and it's been 40mg for 5 days and I'm just feeling hopeless. I'm miserable and just as depressed as I was when this episode started. The depression is horrible. It's Sunday and I have to struggle through another week of work and showing up for my family. I wish the purposelessness feeling would stop. Nothing brings me joy.

I'm going to get through everyday, but I wish it wasn't so damn hard to just exist and I dont even know if this will work for me. I wish I could be a lucky one that it worked week 1 for.

My husband keeps telling me not to give up until 8 weeks, but my god, another 4 weeks like this seems unbearable, but it's been months.

Gosh. I'm feeling like such a depressed mess. I've been depressed since April. The depressive episodes last SOOOOOO long. If I didn't have kids and a husband...

It's absolutely horrible being this depressed and having a family. I feel just as depressed as I did when this episode began. I keep holding onto that maybe I'm not at the therapeutic dose in my body yet, but I'm losing hope here.

How can I still feel this horrible? My god, when does it get better?

I'm struggling. 17 days into 20mg of Latuda. So, not near 4 weeks yet, but I wish it would work faster; waiting to feel better is horrible!!

I take it with dinner every night and my sleep has gotten better, but that's it really. Still have to force myself to do everything! It sucks! I feel so bad for my family

15 days at 20mg, but still quite depressed. Really hoping for a positive shift soon. Everything is a chore and a struggle.

I'm in yet another low. Been dealing with this for years and have yet to find a medication to help. I'm 14 days into Latuda and can't imagine it actually working. I feel so sad and hopeless that this is my life.

I do all the things, take all the supplements for mental health, but that doesn't matter. My brain just tries to canabilize itself every year.

Every spring and summer I get depressed. I just want to be normal and feel okay.

I'm only every content when I'm sleeping and escaping into dream word.

I avoid drugs and alcohol and just raw dog this misery. I hate myself. I feel like a horrible mother, but know existing is better than not, but I hate living like this. I dread every interaction. My home is hell because it's where I'm the most depressed. My kids and dog and life are a constant chore. I hate eating. Everything.

I am having a birthday party for my 4 year old and dreading it, but I have to do it. He wants to go to the zoo and I'll take him but it will be so very hard. It's not fair that life is this hard.

I just want some relief. It's so horrible to feel this way.

My psych won't up my dose until 5 weeks on the medication. I've been on 20mg for about two weeks and although the depression isn't as heavy and I'm sleeping a bit better, I'm just still depressed, unmotivated, and anhedonic. Still feeling really far from myself and want to crawl back into bed to escape.

Faking it to make it is a little easier, but man I hope I feel this magic that others describe soon.

Feeling so discouraged. Been depressed for 2 months now and just need some relief. Some people said it worked within days for them. So, I'm feeling discouraged.

I take it with dinner and I have been sleeping better, but I'm just so anhedonic and down.

I sent my friend this text about how much I'm struggling:

Hey just want to be honest and raw and say feel incredibly guilty that I have been MIA. I know it's my birthday Thursday and I'm just dreading it. It's just another birthday I'm depressed. I'm just really struggling mentally right now. I'm just embarrassed and sad to be like this. Depression is the hardest thing I've ever faced and it's relentless and so mentally agonizing I was doing okay and then it just all fell apart. I fake every interaction and just go through the motions of work and the days. But it's so incredibly hard to face the world everyday. My husband is so supportive, I go to therapy, I met with my psychiatrist. But it's just a waiting game to see if the medication helps and that could take weeks to months. Ugh, I'm just suffering. I just feel completely paralyzed and crippled in life. It's so hard to describe and it's just so hard to imagine wanting to do things and being motivated and happy. It's so hard to text you and admit how yucky I feel. I wish I could feel like myself, but that person seems so distant from this reality.

It's absolutely not fair and sucks, but I have to keep going. I just wish the medication would work, but I'm on the lowest dose of Latuda and it could most likely be months before I feel better, if at all.

The last two nights we were not at home for dinner and forgot to bring my medication. So, I came home and drank 400 calories of protein milk with my Latuda and today I woke up quite depressed. I just read that it's hydrophobic. I didn't know that. Ugh, so sad because I just feel so depressed and hopeless today and really thought I was making progress

I'm on day 5 and I feel a smidge better. I'm slightly irritable and can get up and get ready for work without dreading every moment, but still quite anhedonic. My Dr. Is giving it until August 5th to assess if I should move my dose up. So, that will be at 5 weeks. I'm just so impatient to have my life back and not hate existing and be less than the shell of a mother and wife that I am for my family.

Nothing really works for my depression. We tried Latuda when I was experiencing depression during my last pregnancy and it didn't work, but we only got up to 80. Having a depressive episode recently and asked to try Latuda again. Really hoping that now that there aren't pregnancy hormones that it will work!

I'm on day 4 and functioning, but still feel like I'm a waste of space and like I have no joy or purpose except to keep faking it until I make it at work and at home.

My kids are small (4 and 1) and I really hope they don't remember me as sometimes happy, put together and fun and then horribly depressed and useless.

Latuda didn't work when I was pregnant, but hoping it will work now that I'm 9 months postpartum. I only ever tried it when I was pregnant because my other meds stopped working. We got up to 80mg when pregnant and didn't go higher. So, who knows. Day 3 of 20mg right now.

Anyone with a similar experience?

It's so hard drudging through everyday! It's my toddlers birthday today and I feel so frustrated that I just feel so blank and hesitant about every little moment of existence. Faking it to make it.

I think these vitamins are working like antidepressants and if that's the case, I may not see a full change in my depression until a full 6 to 8 weeks?

Folinic Acid (Dr. Green Mom)

Time on it: ~4 weeks

Lithium Orotate

Time on it: ~3 weeks

Magnesium L-Threonate

Time on it: ~3 weeks

**I forgot to add that I've been taking half a lozenge of hydroxo b12 for 2 weeks now! Seeking health brand.

Riboflavin / Vitamin B2 (Seeking Health)

Time on it: ~1 week

Things don't feel as horrible, but I still feel really unmotivated and dull. But I'm slowly doing things I couldn't do 4 weeks ago.