u/TypeAtryingtoB

The last two nights we were not at home for dinner and forgot to bring my medication. So, I came home and drank 400 calories of protein milk with my Latuda and today I woke up quite depressed. I just read that it's hydrophobic. I didn't know that. Ugh, so sad because I just feel so depressed and hopeless today and really thought I was making progress

I'm on day 5 and I feel a smidge better. I'm slightly irritable and can get up and get ready for work without dreading every moment, but still quite anhedonic. My Dr. Is giving it until August 5th to assess if I should move my dose up. So, that will be at 5 weeks. I'm just so impatient to have my life back and not hate existing and be less than the shell of a mother and wife that I am for my family.

Nothing really works for my depression. We tried Latuda when I was experiencing depression during my last pregnancy and it didn't work, but we only got up to 80. Having a depressive episode recently and asked to try Latuda again. Really hoping that now that there aren't pregnancy hormones that it will work!

I'm on day 4 and functioning, but still feel like I'm a waste of space and like I have no joy or purpose except to keep faking it until I make it at work and at home.

My kids are small (4 and 1) and I really hope they don't remember me as sometimes happy, put together and fun and then horribly depressed and useless.

Latuda didn't work when I was pregnant, but hoping it will work now that I'm 9 months postpartum. I only ever tried it when I was pregnant because my other meds stopped working. We got up to 80mg when pregnant and didn't go higher. So, who knows. Day 3 of 20mg right now.

Anyone with a similar experience?

It's so hard drudging through everyday! It's my toddlers birthday today and I feel so frustrated that I just feel so blank and hesitant about every little moment of existence. Faking it to make it.

I think these vitamins are working like antidepressants and if that's the case, I may not see a full change in my depression until a full 6 to 8 weeks?

Folinic Acid (Dr. Green Mom)

Time on it: ~4 weeks

Lithium Orotate

Time on it: ~3 weeks

Magnesium L-Threonate

Time on it: ~3 weeks

**I forgot to add that I've been taking half a lozenge of hydroxo b12 for 2 weeks now! Seeking health brand.

Riboflavin / Vitamin B2 (Seeking Health)

Time on it: ~1 week

Things don't feel as horrible, but I still feel really unmotivated and dull. But I'm slowly doing things I couldn't do 4 weeks ago.

What are the signs you are coming out of a depression? My mood is better, but I still wake up and wish I could go back to bed. I'm still feeling quite unmotivated and things feel a little daunting, but I can get by. I'm usually so motivated and busy, but this just feels so weird. I have been so down the past few weeks. I'm in this weird limbo state. Is this a good sign?

I get depressed every spring. I don't have allergies that I'm aware of or histamine issues, I swear it's the light change affecting my system of something.

Like my slow genes can't breakdown the extra neurotransmitters and extra things due to the light change. I always get randomly stressed and then depressed for months. It's torture.

This is my first time trying folinic acid. I was taking a multivitamin with methylfolate in it while I wasn't depressed and didn't realize that could be bad.

I've been on an SNRI, but it stopped working.

I'm really hoping lithium orotate and folinic acid help. I've always taken magnesium glycenate or threonate and my Vitamin D levels are in the upper range (75 and the max range is 100).

I just am so tired of this. If I didn't have a family and kids, I don't know how I would get out of bed.

What a joke my life is right now. When I stare in the mirror, I laugh because I look normal, but I'm suffering. I have a great job, beautiful family, and I am empty. I'm deflated and defeated. I feel fear that I'll always be on the revolving cycle and that I just have to grin and bear it with no hope of remission. My genes, heterozygous MTHFR, slow COMT, and slow MAO-A seem to have doomed me. I have to go on. I have to wake up every day for my family, and know my presence is better than my absence, but this existence is abysmal. I'm apathetic and filled with grief over everything depression has robbed from me. The time it's taken, the peace of mind, the hope. I cling onto hope, but it's getting harder and harder. I'll have months of relief and months of despair. I've not been a year depression free since 2023. I'm afraid my doctor will say to stop breastfeeding so that I can try some other medications, but the medication roulette suck and our little guy is 8 months old breastfeeding is the one thing my body hasn't failed me with.

And this is not post partum depression, because I've been here before, at this exact time of year prior to children.

The only medication to ever work for me was Lamictal and it gave me horrible acne that couldn't be treated without stopping the medication. Augmenting my antidepressant with respiridone, or abilify, just makes me more numb and flat, which is scary when you're already so anhedonic. I felt so very little when this episode started and the risperidone just numbed it. It made feel nothing and feel completely robotic. I'm just writing this to put it somewhere. 

I've been on folinic acid for 10 days, Lithium orotate for 2, and magnesium threonate for one day. I switched from glycenate from paranoia that it would make me worse. My sleep sucks. It's been about 3 weeks in this episode and It's already unbearable. 

Depression is eating a cold can of lentil soup because you don't have the mental capacity to put it in a bowl in the break room. It's walking to your breakroom smiling a faking that you're okay, but you wish you could just tell everyone you're suffering.

I've been on Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Prozac, stimulants, abilify, vraylar, latuda, respiridone, lamictal.

Life's not fair, but one foot in front of the other.

Depression is dark, it's cold, it's suffocating. It's being completely lost with directions in front of you. It's having support, but not having relief. I'm glad I have my husband to hold my hand through the pain, but there is no relief. My children deserve a more functional mother and they are small now, but I thought we would have this figured out after nearly 4 years.

The seasonal light changes in the spring make it harder for me to sleep and sometimes in the winter, but in the winter, I am easily falling asleep by 7pm and in the spring my eyes are accosted by the early light and can't fall asleep until 9 or 10 or sometimes later and then become depressed.

Ughhhh, my depression was successfully being treated with an SNRI and then the daylight got to be too much, my sleep schedule started to shift negatively and boom, depression. Been depressed for about a week now and I hate it.

My psychiatrist added 1mg of risperidone to my SNRI because I'm breastfeeding and she didn't want to double my SNRI because not sure it would be safe for baby or my milk, but ughhhh, I feel like a sloth shell of who I was already.

This depression thing sucks big big time. I've been dealing with depression before kids and for years and years. It always bites me with the season change. And I can't just become a hermit and live my life revolved around a perfect sleep schedule with kids and a job. Sigh. I hope this helps me.

Just venting. Only 4 days until the 1mg augmentation and just still feel so poopy.

I have to be strong and functional for my family, but I hate the masking and hiding 🫣 and hoping to feel better.

I upped my omega 3s and added some cucumin supplements to see if they will help my 🧠. Vitamin D levels are good and already taking magnesium, zinc, vitamin D, prenatal daily.

Before we had our second, we did birthday parties yearly for my first and he is now 4 and is really excited to have a little party with family and family friends, but now that I'm thinking about it...the baby doesn't care and the party is just for us! Ages 1-2 can be so much simpler.

We don't need a bash for the baby. I like decorating and doing a little theme, but we don't need to invite the entire family! I'm thinking of really only inviting half the guest list or less for our second's first birthday and even the second and so on! I just did what other family members did for our first, but the kids are born a month apart and the oldest was always a nice get together excuse for family and friends, but we don't need to do that 2x back to back!

We can still have our cowboy themed first birthday for our second with some hay nails and lemonade with 15 to 20 people and the usual family and friends for our first?