r/babyshower

This guys family sucks ass it’s his grandmas 80th which no one said until I put up the Facebook thing, it’s the same day as baby shower I found out I was pregnant in April and in may I took 31st of oct off because its a salon and it’s Christmas time and work will be messed up previous years I was doing 14hr days for 6 days a week from November to February and I didn’t want to do it earlier because November I can wash and pack stuff and get whatever we don’t have so I picked 12-2:30/3 because her birthday is at 6pm so like yah know got a whole day But none of them talked to us to find out what we were doing And when I told them I was pregnant they were happy and was like I’ll help you plan a baby shower Ain’t heard nothing from them still to this day it being August now so I decided to do it and organise it myself and now I’m the bad guy. If you talked to me and checked in I would’ve organised it better but no they don’t talk to us only when they want something I know it sucks being on her birthday but surely they can spare an hour or so before they have their party
It’s also making me not want to go to the birthday because they can’t do 2 events in 1 day why should i

I’m hosting a surprise baby shower for someone who is very close to me, and since it’s a surprise, I don’t have a registry to go off of.

I’d love to hear what baby shower gifts you’ve received (or wish you’d received) that were genuinely useful, thoughtful, or memorable, especially things beyond the usual baby clothes, blankets, toys, etc.

But my biggest question is: what can I get for the mom herself? So much of what you buy is for the baby, and I’d really love to give her something that makes her feel cared for and appreciated too. Something practical, comforting, sentimental, luxurious, anything you genuinely loved receiving as a new mom.

What did you appreciate the most?

My fiancée (25F) and I are expecting our first child together. She’s very feminine/girly, loves dressing up, taking pictures, pretty scenery, and events with a nice atmosphere. She’s also a major people-pleaser and hates family conflict.
I originally wanted nothing to do with planning her shower. I always thought this was something the mothers handled, so my mom, her mom, and her stepmom were supposed to plan it together.

My mom absolutely dropped the ball. She became frustrated with the planning, stopped communicating for several weeks, and didn’t provide our guest list when she should have. I wish she had handled that completely differently, and I’m not defending it.
However, my fiancée’s mom had been extremely budget-focused from the beginning.
The first idea was a community/senior-center type venue that might have been free. My mom had actually attended a shower there before and told them she found it pretty underwhelming, but that option was still considered.

Her mom also initially wanted a roughly 3-hour afternoon shower partly so they could serve little/no food or just light snacks. Her stepmom disagreed with that, and so did my fiancée when she later heard about the food idea.

They eventually settled on an older church hall for roughly $150. It does hold the guest list, but it’s a pretty basic/dated space with strict rules: no alcohol and restrictions on certain games, snacks, and activities that the church considers inappropriate.

Her father is extremely attached to the church. My fiancée attended preschool there, although it is now a completely different church/denomination than when she attended.

He also says it’s sentimental because he, his current wife, and their children became a blended family there, and because the hall is near where the preschool nurse’s office used to be, which he thinks will make my fiancée reminisce about how far she’s come.

He says he had to personally ask the current pastor twice to allow the shower there.
I genuinely had no idea my fiancée considered this place particularly sentimental, if she even does. We’ve driven past it many times, and the only thing she’s ever said to me is basically, “I went to preschool there.”

We aren’t religious as a couple and have never attended church or prayed together. To me, a lot of the sentiment seems to belong to her father and stepmom, although obviously I could be wrong about how she feels.

Once I finally stepped in, we determined there are about 29 potential guests from her side and 27 from mine.
My family also made clear that they absolutely want to contribute financially. Her mom and stepmom had apparently assumed my family wasn’t going to contribute.

My sister then researched several alternatives in roughly the $400–$750 range: scenic/heated farm pavilions, brewery event spaces, and a lodge/banquet facility.
They offer better scenery and photo opportunities, more flexibility with food/activities, and some allow outside catering. My family is willing to pay the additional venue cost.

Some of the alternatives happen to be at breweries, which became another objection because my fiancée is pregnant and can’t drink.
But these are event pavilions/spaces people rent for showers and other events. Nobody has to drink. My fiancée doesn’t mind other people drinking around her and has occasionally had nonalcoholic beer during her pregnancy, including around her father, who has bought it for her before.

Other objections have included a relative being allergic to bees, another family member already having a bridal shower at one of the venues, and decorations supposedly already being purchased specifically for the church.

I’m not demanding a brewery or any particular venue. One alternative isn’t even a brewery. I just want the options genuinely considered.
What bothers me is that I haven’t really been allowed to present them.

Her stepmom told me that she and my fiancée’s mom “have this handled” and are moving forward as planned. Her mom asked me to simply send the names/addresses for my 27 guests and said this is “more of a mother/daughter event.”

Her father was also upset that I contacted the church myself to verify capacity and told me to let the women handle it.
He initially blamed my mom’s lack of communication and suggested the situation might now require two separate showers.

I completely understand why they’re angry with my mom. I am too.
But her mom and stepmom both had my phone number and never contacted me when my mom stopped responding. Questions instead eventually went through my pregnant fiancée.

Now that I’m trying to repair things, my entire side of the family still seems to have essentially no input.
My family doesn’t want control. My sister would actually be a much better representative than my mom at this point. She researched these alternatives because she genuinely wants to make the shower special, and I would happily step completely back out if the women could resume planning collaboratively.

My concern is also bigger than “expensive venue good, cheap venue bad.”
Her mom originally wanted little/no food, and now the plan is apparently premade grocery-store sandwiches.
Combined with the free community-center idea, $150 church, and resistance to alternatives even when my family offers to pay the difference, it feels like minimizing cost has consistently been the driving consideration.
Her mom has told me that what matters is “the people who come, the love we share, and the gifts she will receive.”

I understand that philosophy. But I worry it translates into the surroundings/food/experience not really mattering as long as we technically threw her a shower.
For comparison, earlier this year my fiancée threw me a milestone birthday party.
I didn’t even particularly care about having one.
She rented a nice brewery event room for under $500, invited 40+ people, and created a wonderful event that I still remember.

I want her shower for her first baby to at least match, if not exceed, the care and experience she gave me.
She’s the type of woman who loves pretty things, pictures, and making events feel special.
I’m genuinely worried she’s going to walk into a restrictive, generic church hall with grocery-store sandwiches and smile because she’s a people-pleaser, while it isn’t remotely the shower she would have chosen for herself.
At the same time, she has explicitly said she does NOT want two showers.

My family is frustrated enough now that they’re considering throwing their own. I understand why, but I don’t want her stuck between competing families.
There is still time before the shower.
Interestingly, her mom’s first response to me was actually fairly reasonable. She said several people were on vacation and that everyone could regroup when they returned.

Only afterward did I start getting the “we have it handled/moving forward as planned” responses.
So my preferred solution is pretty simple:
Acknowledge that my mom screwed up, have my sister replace her as my family’s representative, let both sides sit down when everyone is back, put the church and the other venues on the table, let my family contribute financially, and plan ONE shower together based on what my fiancée would actually enjoy.

I’m not asking anyone to cancel the church before that conversation.
I’m not demanding my preferred venue.
I’m not trying to take the shower away from her mom or stepmom.

If they refuse to even consider alternatives or allow my family back into planning, though, I’m struggling with what to do next.

Do I back off and let them throw the shower they’ve planned?

Do I privately ask my fiancée what kind of venue/event she’d actually want without telling her about the family fight?

Or, if her family refuses any collaboration whatsoever, is my family justified in taking over and hosting one shower that everyone—including her family—is still invited to?

I don’t care about winning a venue argument.
I want one family shower, not two, and I want my fiancée to walk into it and feel like everyone planned it around her, not around everybody else’s budget, nostalgia, hurt feelings, or preferences.

My baby shower is next week, and we are collecting RSVPs. Due to the amount of kids in our families, we decided to not have kids at the shower. There would be 24 children invited with 57 adults. I was clear on the invites that it was adults only, even stated it on the registry and had the online RVSPs set up to allow only who was invited to come.

Well, my cousin has one child, who is almost 9, she asked if she could come. We don’t see her very much and I haven’t seen her since my wedding 2 years ago. I would love to see them more but no one has made plans to make it happen, she even got married 2 weekends ago and didn’t invite any of us. However, she is the perfect age for a shower and it is just one.. my husband’s half sister has 3 kids that span from 6 to 17, so giving an age-range of appropriate ages to come to the shower seems really rude so we decided to just not invite any kids.

I’m really torn on inviting my cousins child, but I know I shouldn’t be.

My best friend (21F) just had her first baby!!! She is little (5lbs 7oz), and she was induced early. They have most of the stuff off their registry, but I'm looking to get her something special. I'm not a parent, so I have no idea where to start, and I figured Reddit may have good answers! So, what's something you wish you had as a first time mom that you never would have thought to get? Maybe something new?

I'm looking to spend up to like $200, but if there's something really awesome that's over that process range, feel free to drop it and I'll look into it.

Thank you in advance for any and all help!!

Was told baby medicine is a bad luck gift. Need to change my baby shower go-tos. First off, yes I am and belive in being the Uncle who buys loud obnoxious gifts when they get older. But here for babyshower corrections.
My Go-Tos include a main gift, extras, and a gift for mom that has nothing to do with baby's. Dad: 4 pack of airtags for the important stuff he has to keep track of.​

Mom gift: bath bombs, face masks(alone time in tub stuff)- was told mom's miss hot baths durring pregnancy.

Main gift: baby monitor with sock thing that keeps track of baby vitals. Fallback gift is bottle sanitizer.

extras/side gifts- diapers 1 box from new born to 3 size change. Baby first aid kit (thermometers, motrin,Tylenol, nose thingy etc)​-told this is a bad luck gift this last shower.

Can't just do gift cards. As the single uncle I get side eyed by other wives and mom's who think it was just a last minute too busy to care gift.

Never sure if above is right or just "he dosent know better at least he tried". I will admit, I often forget to check registries so by time I get to it its all purchased.

For parents who have already been through the newborn stage, what types of gifts did you actually find useful? Were there any items you received that ended up being used constantly, or things you wish someone had given you?

I’m also curious whether it’s better to give a few practical essentials, a larger bundle, or something that the parents can use as the baby grows.

I am due mid-February with my first (and also a mega rainbow baby). I am trying to figure out the best time to have a baby shower because of the holidays. I know how stressful it can be to add another thing to your list of parties and gifts, so I wanted to have mine a little earlier than I think women usually do.

Would it be odd to have my shower in October when I am not due until Feb?

I am having two showers (different family on different coasts of the US), and one will be in early/mid November before Thanksgiving. I did not want to worry about having it in December, and January is the time of year that people are so hungover from parties, so I did not think it would be best either.

let me know what you think!

Mom of 1, soon to be mom of two. My daughter will be 4 on 10/29, and our new baby is due on the same day. We usually throw a big bday party for our daughter with around 50 people (12 kids). But since the due date is so close to her bday, this year I’ve decided to have her party early on 9/12 so that we can still have a big party but I won’t be waddling around super uncomfortable at 9 months pregnant.

On top of having the party over a month early, I’ve also decided to celebrate the new baby at her party as well. Towards the bottom of her bday party invitation it says: “(name) is also going to be a big sister! Gender reveal and Diaper raffle right after cake!” There are also a few decorations specific to the new baby.

Opinions?

1. My goal here was not to outshine her bday with baby gifts, which is why I’m only asking for diapers and not doing a registry.

2. Another reason why I’m combining two parties in one is because I figured people were more likely to show up for one than they would be for two. But if I did a separate sprinkle before the party, then the two would only be a month or so apart, and people are usually on summer vacation so I figured this would be easier for them to plan and afford.

3. I do have some guilt about making my daughter share her party.. BUT I keep telling myself she’s so young that she won’t mind. I did talk to her about it and she seems ok with it. I’ve also been reading a lot into how upsetting it can be for siblings to have to share bday parties so I’m not planning on making them share in the future.

We aren’t announcing our pregnancy until closer to the due date. We won’t see our friends until December, so we thought of hosting a Christmas theme dinner party and surprising everyone with the belly bump and making it a surprise baby shower/announcement.

We’ve heard of surprise baby showers for the parents, but I can’t find any examples of where it’s the guests who are surprised. Of course being a surprise, there won’t be gift opening in front of people (which is not my thing anyway), and was thinking of simply providing a link to the registry that day for whoever wants to gift the baby something.

What is everyone’s thought on this?

Gente pregunta: estoy organizando mi baby shower con ayuda de unos familiares. El baby shower es a la 1:30pm con el tico time la gente va llegando a las 2. ellas me sugirieron que sirviera gallos de picadillo con refresco en lugar de comida y que diera café con bocadillos dulces y salados , también habrá mesa de dulces y algo de picar.
La cosa es que otros familiares hablando conmigo me preguntaron que qué iba a dar de comer ; yo les dije que gallos y me dijeron que por qué no daba comida.

Que se acostumbra, la verdad es que no tengo experiencia en esto y la última vez que fui a un baby shower fue hace 12 años.

Hello! I’m tasked (happily) with running the games at an upcoming coed baby shower and I have less than a week to prepare (oops). Here are the main details:
- 110 people (split between both parents’ loved ones)
- Coed
- All ages
- Gifts will not be opened
- Open bar
- DJ
- Event Hall
- Catering

Given this appears more as an event than a typical shower that comes to mind, I’m trying to think of games and activities that would be worthwhile. I’ve seen a lot of great ideas, but most lean toward smaller gatherings OR doing so would break be more $$$ than I care to spend. Here are some ideas I have so far:
• Busy mom challenge: balloon under a shirt, teddy bear in one arm, talking on the phone (phone between head and shoulder), and pulling tissues out of a tissue box with the other arm. Whoever pulls all of the tissues out wins
• Guess the delivery date: I create a large calendar of the due date month and people write their names guessing the delivery date
• Pregnant men challenge: sitting down with balloon under shirt and the fastest to tie both shoes wins
• Disposable cameras on tables just for memories sake. Maybe scrapbook it with the mom later or a photo album at minimum. If anyone has any ideas to go with this, please share!
• I need tabletop game ideas that aren’t totally dull
• Also would be nice to have an ice breaker because the attendees are split between both parents, so would be cute to do something where people get to know each other….. Maybe a scavenger hunt based on random facts I can ask the parents to provide about some people who will be attending?
•Something for the parents. Like an activity or game only they participate in

Hi all! I’m throwing my sister a baby shower at the end of the month but have never been to one as an adult. What are your favorite activities to do at baby shower? We will have roughly 20-35 people.

Okay I want everyone to be excited for a diaper raffle. This is my second kid so I already have most of what I need. What is an amazing diaper raffle prize that would get people excited to bring diapers ???

To keep it simple, I am confused! I am currently 17 weeks pregnant and have no idea when I should be starting to create my registry? When did you start creating and sharing your registry? Also - what are some things you do and do NOT recommend for a baby registry?

My sisters pregnant, woohoo! We’ve got her a few things off her registry for her baby shower gift, but she’s mentioned before how much she likes the idea of ‘What you want, not need’ gift baskets.

It’s things that don’t relate to the kids or the parenting aspect but something you’ll feel so relaxed with after…so far we’ve got them three gift cards for a deep cleaning company, some deliveroo gift cards for when you can’t be bothered to make dinner. And so far that’s all I’ve got lol!

I can’t think of anything else and want it to be a surprise for her, so any ideas?

Thank you!!!

Hey everyone I just need some advice. Ok so I have a friend that I was friends with for 8 years we where friends in high school and I would hang out with her occasionally. She was always really flaky anytime we wanted to hang out but i guess that just who she is. I graduated high about 2 years ago and I haven't really talked to her much since. I would text her if she wanted to come over and just hang out sometimes she would responded and sometimes she wouldn't not. And I just thought that she was busy. Well she started dating a guy let's call him tod I never really met tod. My friend was never really one to talk about boyfriends a lot even if I asked all she would say is its going great. She just never really talked much about her relationship. This was back in christmas about last year. I haven't talked to her since. I have tired to reach out and see if she wanted to hang out or something she would always look but never responded. It kinda made me worried if I did something wrong. Well one day I was looking on Facebook and found out the she was pregnant. I was shocked I just didn't know that my friend was pregnant... I felt bad for her but at the same time I didn't know how to feel.. bc all the times I have asked her to hang out she never responded to me. So me being the nice person I am I texted her multiple time and told her that I will be there for her if she needs anything or if she wants to talk we can. And I got nothing she looked at them but never responded. Now its July and she is having a baby shower this Sunday my mom thinks it will be good for me to go and talk to her. I honestly don't want to go. I feel for her I do but I feel like she put herself in this position. I tried to be there for her but she never responded. My mom says that I am being a horrible friend and should go. And that she was there form me in high school and that I need to be there for her too. So reddit am I the a hole for not going. I will get her a gift and send it with my mom. But I just feel like our friendship has fissled out I feel for her and I hope all goes well for her but I just don't talk to her as much. Please let me know your thoughts and what I should do.