r/gaydads

im a single (intended) dad, using celagem clinic services (Colombia)

after a rather fast procedure - my embryos did not survive implementation, so i am yet again at the beginning of the quest - picking a donor and so on.

the situation with celagem is far (far far) from being good (or decent) they availability of donors is 0. the catalog they provide is no more than a book of young and potentially fertile women - non of them are available in any reasonable time frame for donation. waiting time is 7 months at least, if one is lucky and the doner is still up for the procedure so far in the future.

it seems the clinic does little to no effort to solve this situation, and they rely on you being a captive customer at that point.

i know from a few friends that are now dads and moms that 3-4 years ago things were far better - excellent availability, great donor selection and fast procedure. They also used a different, more attractive catalog – both in numbers of donors and their(subjective) attractiveness.

i would not recommend anyone to use their services, if i would have known how fast and deeply it deteriorate

 i would stay away.

Open for questions!

Asking this question here because all the parenting advice I read is based on the assumption that a mother is breastfeeding and recovering from pregnancy/delivery.

Did you have your newborn sleeping in your room? If so, for how long? Or did you have your newborn sleep in a nursery right away?

This is just general crowd sourcing, no judgement.

Hi!! My husband and I are looking to start our process soon and we are torn on many options. We live in the US, and honestly cannot afford the process here. We are interested in options in Mexico due to proximity and after reading many success stories from IP from the US.

So far, we considered My Surrogacy Journey (MSJ), Gestación Surrogada México (GSM), Kira, and i know this is not in Mexico but heard great things about Denver Dads (Colombia).

Has anyone worked with any of those agencies? Any advise, or recommendations outside these options? We’re overwhelmed with the options and we just want to make sure we make the right decision choosing the right agency.

Thank you so much!

How did you build your family?

Curious to hear everyone’s stories — surrogacy, adoption, fostering, co-parenting, donor conception, whatever the path looked like.

Drop it in the comments. No journey is too messy or too complicated to share here.

Hi there! Our family and 3 little kids are exploring a career opportunity which would require us to move to Miami. Kids are 5, 5 and 3. We can rent or buy. Max price if we bought would be $1.5M. Office is in Miami Gardens area and will have to drive there 3-4 days a week. Would like good public schools so we don’t have to pay for private but open any/all options. Any advice on neighborhoods to consider?

On a surrogacy journey. Started with 7 euploid genetically tested 4AA embryos. We had 3 failures with the first surrogate and now our first failure with a second surrogate. Anyone in the same boat? What should we do? I am starting to think it’s the embryos because surrogates medical all checks out. We are freaking out!

Surrogate tested positive several times hcg is rising and amniotic sac confirmed. Much surprised since I only had 1 euploid embryo. What are my next steps? When do I tell people? What do I need to buy? I’m excited! And need a lot of guidance.

https://www.reddit.com/r/europe/comments/1t624wx/ukraine_is_a_global_surrogacy_hub_but_that_could/

All of a sudden, a lot of negative comments appear.

What is more, it happens almost at the moment of publication.

These users often subsribe to the same subs.

Ordinary people get the impression that almost everyone is against surrogacy. While plenty of polls, even in the most surrophobic countries, prove the opposite.

This is yet one completely overlooked point, which is a consequence of the lack of consolidation.

This is one of the reasons why bans on surrogacy are being passed so easily.

That's why gays post "they made surrogacy more difficult. I cried all night." and agencies jump from one location to another one.

Maybe it's to time to do something, before it's too late?!

upd: this is also harassment of families and IPs.

ILGA Europe have not included surrogacy in its annual reports but have included artificial insemination.

That is, biological parenthood doesn't matter for gays, but it does for lesbians.

Surrogacy must be addressed as an LGBTQ issue. And opposition to surrogacy is a form of homophobia. Lack of this is one of the main reasons why things are so bad with surrogacy in Europe. It is highly unlikely that they are unaware that today surrogacy is perhaps the only way to build families. As gay couples across Europe report that adoptions have become extremely difficult, if not impossible.

Why such disregard for us? Why on Earth is Spain dark green? For torturing gay families?

Gay men have completely lost their identity. And bi men are never taken seriously at all in the mainstream LGBTQ organizations. It is we who must determine our rights and not allow others to impose them on us.

Plus, servility to anyone who calls themselves a feminist, even if they cause a colossal damage. That's why ILGA Europe is afraid to include surrogacy as it could cost them politically, but isn't afraid of losing G and B(m) at all. Or simply don't want to do it in spite of the obvious demand for it. and instead of protesting, gays write on forums "They made surrogacy more difficult. I cried all night." And also upvote biased reports like that. Or repost it. Of course, it's about LGBTQ people.

Why is there such disregard for our most important issues in these LGBTQ organizations? Gay couples can't create families. What could be more important? Could this be changed? Or is everyone content with this grim situation?!

Hello!

My husband (48m) and I (39m) want to start our surrogacy journey - but we are stuck when it comes to price.

In the US we've seen estimates of upper $100s to 200s and unfortunately we don't have that amount in savings and we are scared that we are rapidly getting older and may not achieve this dream of ours.

I see that other countries the cost can be around 70k or less which is more doable for us (but that would leave us empty). Are there financial options, payment plans, etc.... ? We've looked at a couple of agencies but they did not provide such options.

We're scared that we use all of our savings but then an emergency happens, something unplanned, etc.... and we don't have money to cover it.

I'm a US citizen (soon to also have Spanish citizenship) and my husband is Spanish. We're currently in Spain until I finish my citizenship but we'll be moving back to the US (I know Spain does not allow surrogacy).

Any help, tips, etc.... to help us get started is very welcomed! Thank you

Hi all! I'm looking for people's feedback and experience with NYC. I recently was offered a promotion at work, but I would need to move from Charlotte to NYC. It's a really great opportunity, but it would be a huge sacrifice to leave Charlotte as we love living here. One factor we're weighing right now is that we are currently in the middle of a surrogacy process and will likely have 1-2 children in the next 1-2 years. Charlotte is such a great, family-friendly city so we're worried about leaving. I would love to hear people's experiences raising young kids in the NYC, especially if you've had the chance to do it both in NYC and a mid-size city like Charlotte. Also open to general commentary about living in NYC as well.

My husband and I run a channel called Two Dads Move to Portugal, and our latest video is probably the most honest one we’ve made so far. We’re 44 days out from leaving the U.S. for Portugal, and at this point it’s less “dreamy relocation content” and more “holy shit, there are a thousand moving parts and regular life is still happening at the same time.” In this one we talk about the real deal:

• the stress of trying to manage a major international move
• selling our RV and vehicles
• sorting the house and figuring out what makes the cut
• visa logistics
• schools, housing, and some of the other stuff people tend to leave out

I think people romanticize moving abroad a little too much. We’re trying to document the version that’s messier, more exhausting, and a lot more realistic. If you’re planning a move to Portugal, already living there, or just curious what this process actually looks like from the inside, here’s the video: https://youtu.be/ecW9Z_Ha_Eo Would genuinely love to hear from anyone who’s done an international move with kids — what caught you off guard the most?

Hello I’m a representative of Nova Plus, a premium concierge surrogacy agency working in Georgia and Armenia. We guide intended parents through the full journey from consultation to birth, including medical coordination, legal support, documentation and everyday assistance throughout the process. Happy to answer any questions 🤍

Anybody else struggle with this?

I just personally think that the world is getting so much worse, the climate, both politically and environmentally, and with adoption, the kids are already here anyway so you’re just helping what is already here. But I always thought since I was young that if I ended up with a woman I want a kid and if I ended up with a man, surrogacy was the option. Have had baby fever for years, saving slowly for surrogacy. I want to be a dad so bad it hurts. None of my straight siblings or cousins are having kids so still a net decrease in population.

And I have this compromise in my head. One by surrogacy and one by adoption. All I want is one. My partner doesn’t care either way, I’m the breadwinner and the one saving to pay. I literally don’t think I can change my mind on wanting to have a surrogate but wondered if I was alone in this struggle.

Hi,

My husband and I are about to have you first child. We have only planned on bottle feeding, but I have suddenly felt a strong desire to have a supply of breast milk for the first month to get the nutrients. Did anyone else do this, if so, How did you do you get it?

Circle Surrogacy advertises a 99.1% “success rate” — is this misleading?

I’m looking at Circle Surrogacy’s public marketing, where they advertise a 99.1% success rate and say that over 99% of Circle parents bring home a baby. One page even describes it as a “99.1% guaranteed success rate for bringing home a baby.”

I think this deserves serious scrutiny.

A 99% number can easily be misunderstood by intended parents as a medical success rate. But IVF and surrogacy outcomes are usually measured very differently: per egg retrieval, per embryo transfer, per live birth, per donor egg transfer, etc. CDC ART reporting does not show anything close to a 99% success rate per embryo transfer or IVF cycle.

The average is around 65% industry wide based on SART results per embryo transfer try..

So the key issue is not whether some parents eventually bring home a baby after repeated attempts. The issue is whether the phrase “99.1% success rate” creates a misleading impression for consumers.

Questions Circle should answer publicly:

• Is this a medical success rate or an agency program-completion rate?
• What is the denominator?
• What years are included?
• Are failed embryo transfers included?
• Are miscarriages included?
• Are intended parents who left the program included?
• Are canceled surrogate matches included?
• Are rematches included?
• Are additional transfers and additional costs included?
• Is the 99.1% figure independently audited?
• How many attempts does the average intended parent need before bringing home a baby?

In my opinion, this kind of claim should not be marketed without a clear methodology directly next to the claim. Intended parents are often spending $200,000+ and making emotional, medical, and legal decisions. They deserve transparent data, not vague “success” language.

I’m not saying there has been a legal finding of fraud. But I do believe this should be reviewed as a potential deceptive advertising or consumer-protection issue if the claim is not fully substantiated.

Has anyone here asked Circle for the actual methodology behind the 99.1% number?

My husband and I have been looking at egg donors, but haven’t found the right person yet. We’re both white, and originally we’re only looking for someone who was also 100% white — we both thought it would be unfair to intentionally conceive a mixed race child who doesn’t even have a parent that looks like them or understand their lived experience.

But it’s been tough to find the right donor. And we’re now considering looking at white hispanic women. So, someone where a biracial child would likely look white. Or, potentially not even really biracial, since both parents are ‘white’? Idk.

We’ve been slowly talking about the idea, which we ourselves are not 100% sold on, with trusted friends and family. But we’re curious what the general population would think.

Hi everyone - long time reader here! My husband and I have been exploring surrogacy for a little while now, but we’re really not sure where to go first. We don’t really know many other gay couples - certainly none that have gone through this process (we’re from a smaller community).

We’re confident that surrogacy is what we want to do, but it seems so difficult to find reliable reviews on any of the agencies. We want to stay with a Canadian agency, but we just don’t know which ones will actually get us closer to building our family and which ones will leave us waiting.

Has anyone had good experiences with any of the agencies they’d be willing to share? I’m eager to hear everything! What your timeline was, how your relationship was with your surrogate, what the cost breakdown looked like for you, anything at all you’re willing to share!

Thanks for your time!