r/gaydads

Hello,

My husband and I have been considering surrogacy for a while and we have been held off due to the costs in the US. We had talked to some agencies that quoted 200K average costs. I’m doing a bit of research it seems Columbia or Mexico may be 80-100K in cost. I guess my question is what’s the catch, is it the legal move back to the US, or the “adoption” or whatever is needed there? And what agencies have you had good luck with? As we opened our search we seem to find countless ones and sorting them has been difficult.

Thank you, if there is a source with the info that I missed please point me in the right direction.

Después de mucho tiempo buscando y hablando con diferentes agencias, siento que Denver dads es la única donde me he sentido escuchado o no como un cliente más. Que opinan de ellos? Alguien ha tenido experiencias?.

Buenos días Comunidad r/surrodads ;

Si estás considerando hacer un proceso de gestación subrogada en el extranjero, por favor no elijas una agencia basándote únicamente en el precio.

Llevo años siguiendo el mundo de la gestación subrogada internacional y esta semana he leído una noticia que me ha hecho reflexionar.

Los fundadores de KINDERLY GEORGIA SURROGACY en Georgia han sido condenados a 10 años de prisión tras ser declarados culpables de apropiarse del dinero que los futuros padres habían entregado para cubrir los gastos del proceso y de las gestantes.

Al leer la noticia pensé en algo que veo constantemente en Facebook, Reddit y otros foros.

Alguien pregunta:

"La agencia A cuesta 25.000 € menos que la agencia B. ¿Alguien ha trabajado con ellos?"

Entiendo perfectamente por qué surge esa pregunta. La gestación subrogada es un proceso muy costoso y todos intentamos ahorrar donde sea posible.

Pero la realidad es que...

No estás comprando un producto.

Estás confiando a una empresa tus embriones, todo el proceso legal, la atención de la gestante, la coordinación médica y, probablemente, el proyecto más importante de tu vida.

Que una agencia sea "más económica" no significa necesariamente que sea una estafa.

Pero, en ocasiones, ese precio más bajo responde a que existen menos garantías, menos controles sobre el dinero, una estructura legal más débil o, simplemente, una empresa con poca estabilidad financiera.

Y cuando eso ocurre, las consecuencias pueden ser devastadoras.

No se trata únicamente de perder dinero.

Puedes perder tus embriones, perder años de espera, perder a la gestante con la que habías iniciado el proceso o verte obligado a empezar desde cero después de haber invertido todo tu esfuerzo, tus ilusiones y tus ahorros.

Antes de elegir una agencia, yo tendría muy claras algunas preguntas:

 ¿Quién y cómo controla realmente el dinero depositado para el proceso?

¿Quién garantiza que la gestante seguirá cobrando si la empresa desaparece?

¿Existen abogados y profesionales independientes supervisando el proceso?

¿Cuántos años de experiencia real tiene la empresa?

¿Pueden facilitar referencias recientes de otras familias que hayan completado su proceso?

La gestación subrogada ya implica suficientes incertidumbres por sí sola. Ahorrar dinero es importante, pero elegir únicamente por ser la opción más barata puede acabar siendo la decisión más cara de toda tu vida.

 Me gustaría conocer vuestra opinión.

Hi everyone! First time post 🥳

How does everyone find the balance between parenthood vs alone vs couple time? I’ve been with my husband for 10 years, and we have a 3 year old, and the ongoing struggle between finding time for all three is exhausting, and work too 😛

I had very bad experience with multiple agencies. You cannot even find a lawyer through internet search to sue the bad agencies which give wrong information and do not fulfil the contract agreements, they are just greedy after your money. Keep saying about non-sense reasons for not doing this not doing that. The law speaks for Mexican residents. Many agencies do not have headquarters in Mexico, some of them in USA, Panama, Honduras, Ukraine and many other countries. They just rob our money. I worked with multiple agencies and lost lot of money. They remain silent and accept all our terms but when it comes to implementation they give reasons that doctor did not accept this and surrogate did not accept that. All cheating. That is a disordered, corrupt country where drugs, guns, violence. Many surrogates do not have proper mentalities and do not follow protocols either medical or ethical although agencies say they were cleared psychiatric evaluation. They do not have surrogate 24x7 monitoring to make sure they following all advises, the result is your luck, if you get a right doctor and right surrogate and your semen and egg/embryos are good quality you can become a father if not it is all God's wish. This is very risky to spend so much money. Actually costs in Mexico are very cheap but agencies, clinics, lawyers make money comparable to USA standards and surrogates get very less money, that greediness stokes the prices up and make hard for intending parents. The babies born in that environment are not healthy. Now-a-days many immigrants are coming to G7 developed countries from Asian and African and European countries and having babies naturally, the Mexican born babies have no future due to very high competition from these born babies in your home country. Some agencies saying best of the embryos fail, it happens it happens, what does this mean they don't even let you see and select a right surrogate until you pay them for 3 transfers presenting all inferior surrogates, after that it is your luck if you still have good embryos left for another adventure. They send a sample surrogacy agreement on first interaction and request your embryology report. Once you decide to go with them which takes about a couple of months or sooner, they jack up fees by seeing your interest, when asked about it, they say it was 3 months ago, now rates changed, again changing soon but since you contacted 2 months ago that rate will apply, all non-sense jargon to rob you. I got stuck as I already paid for shipping embryos because the shipping clinics sometimes refuse to ship embryos to risky places like Mexico, then I lose agency fees to Mexican agencies, so I had no choice but to continue with them. Never pay for shipping embryos until the final contract is signed with Mexican agency. If anyone of you know a fertility or surrogacy lawyer in Mexico please refer to me.

Based on our own experience, we want to share why we cannot recommend Tammuz Family to anyone considering surrogacy.

Limited Availability of Egg Donors
Our experience has been that many of the egg donors presented to us have not been available when we have wanted to move forward. This has left us with the impression that the selection of donors does not match what is initially presented to prospective clients.

Extremely Long Waiting Times
Our experience has been that the waiting time to be matched with a surrogate is around 18 to 24 months, which is significantly longer than what we were told before signing the contract.

Lack of Communication
Since signing the agreement, we have found that communication has deteriorated considerably. It has often taken several weeks to receive answers to our questions or updates on the progress of our case.

Lack of Accountability
Whenever issues have arisen, we have felt that responsibility has consistently been shifted to the clinic, while Tammuz has taken a passive role rather than taking ownership of the situation and actively working to resolve it.

High Costs Without Clear Added Value
Tammuz is one of the more expensive surrogacy agencies on the market. In our experience, the level of service and support has not justified the premium price.

Not the International Organisation We Expected
We were given the impression that Tammuz was a large international organisation. In reality, we have found that our point of contact works remotely as an external representative, which has not met our expectations.

Our advice is to thoroughly research different agencies, read independent reviews, speak with former clients and ask detailed questions before making your decision.

We sincerely hope you find a trustworthy agency and wish you every success on your journey to becoming parents.

Buenas tardes. Hace semanas que estuve iniciando el procedimiento y estoy sin conocer nada ni nadie . Estoy realmente asustado de haber mandado nada alli a mexico . Pensé que eran de fiar y confiables pero y si he perdido mi dinero??? Alguien puede ayudarme porfavor??

Hello everyone, excited to be hopefully joining this community in the next two years with any luck!

My husband and I will be in CDMX till July 5th for our first trip, and if anyone is there and wants to meet up, we would love to grab coffee, drinks, or dinner, and connect.

Feel free to send me a DM, and good luck to everyone’s journeys!

35 yr old single male looking for a surrogate

Escribo de nuevo porque tras hablar con la abogada Miramontes del despacho Ancora, no me queda muy claro algunas cosas.

Es curioso que después de conocer casos de exito de Albania , me digan que es ilegal y que son "mafias" quienes trabajan ahí , al mismo tiempo que aconsejan Mexico omitiendo ciertos dealles.

Lo de que podemos quedarnos en Mexico hasta 1 año (de media 5-7 meses) esto qué?

Sinceramente, ella como otros abogados me parecen COMISIONISTAS de Clínicas mexicanas o colombianas, está clarisimo . 0 objetivos.

Más valdría que se dedicaran únicamente a hacer tramites legales en España, porque en esto se nota mucho.

Solo comparto este feedback para conocer si habéis tenido alguno esa misma percepción.

Hi dads,

My husband and I have finally decided that we're ready to grow our family, and we're currently trying to choose between two full-service surrogacy agencies.

So far, we've had consultations with San Diego Fertility Center (SDFC) and Hatch in Los Angeles. Both have been incredibly professional, responsive, and transparent. Their pricing also seems reasonable for the level of service they provide.

Personally, I'm leaning a bit more toward Hatch based on our conversations and the research I've done so far, but we're still keeping an open mind before making such a big decision.

I'd love to hear from anyone who has worked with either SDFC or Hatch. How was your experience? Were there any unexpected challenges, red flags, or things you wish you had known before signing? Is there anything we should specifically ask about or watch out for?

We're hoping to make the best long-term decision, so any honest experiences or advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you so much!

I’m single male, 36, living outside India, still holding Indian passport.
I intend to go for surrogacy outside India, specifically Bogota, Colombia. I have figured out most of the aspects except the route for securing Indian citizenship for the child. Most of the agencies help only securing Colombian citizenship for the child.

I understand that the child is eligible for Indian citizenship through descent under Section 4 of Indian Citizenship Act. I am also aware that I need to first register the birth online and then fill up the form for the passport along with Annexure ‘I’ (maybe ‘C’ as well?), along with the proof my citizenship and DNA certificate establishing biological link. From what I have gathered so far the law says nothing about children born through surrogacy outside India and is probably dealt case by case. I’m wondering if anyone else has done it and secured an Indian passport after 2021 ART Act.
Looking for advice, suggestions from other parents, any former diplomas or lawyers.

I would be happy to hear the experiences of parents from other countries like Italy, Japan or France where the laws are either not clear or ban surrogacy for their citizens.

Please refrain from leaving comments about the morality of it. You are entitled to your opinion and I am to mine, so let us not engage on that. Thanks!

Hey Guys! I am on a journey to be a #GayDad and after years of working with a #SurrogacyAgency by the name of #EarthlyAngels run by #SharronWooten I came to find out that it was a #scam. My $67,500 was lost but I’m not giving up. Also, I want to protect other #IntendedParents from her fraudulent acts.
Please help me by signing my petition to get the #FBI and #MississippiAttorneyGeneral to do something to help!

https://www.change.org/StopSurrogacyFraud

Hey all, I am a single IP (Male) on his fatherhood journey in Colombia 🇨🇴.

I am currently in the process of signing contracts with a GC through my agency. I have noticed that the GC is Venezuelan and have heard this may cause some challenges post birth with signing/witnessing legal paperwork. I am a little worried, hence this post, and am seeking any experiences or advice in navigating this potential hurdles if I go ahead with this GC. I am from Australia and understand the process is challenging already to return back home. I just want to get my knowledge and understanding stronger so I can make an informed decision and have some strategies in navigating hurdles as they may or may not arise.

Thanks :)

Hello LGBTQ+ parents! I am a queer researcher looking to recruit participants to be part of a study into LGBTQ+ access to reproductive information.

This research will aim to promote reproductive health and equality in our community and will involve a 1:1 MS teams meeting of approximately 45 minutes with me to discuss your experiences.

You must be an LGBTQ+ parent who used an assisted route (e.g. adoption, surrogacy, IVF, donor conception) within the last 5 years to take part.

Your experiences will help form an important piece of research for the community, please contact me via email at f.e.shah-funnell@wlv.ac.uk for more information or comment on this post.