r/gaydads

We signed with Tammuz in June 2024. We started in Argentina, and were caught in the collapse of Tammuz/Celagem's programme there. It took them nearly a year to move our embryos to Colombia, and we've been in the waiting list to be matched for a surrogate for over a year and a half.

Yesterday we got the following email from Tammuz:

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Dear Families,

 

We would like to share an important update regarding the continuation of your journey with CELAGEM clinic in Colombia.

 

A few days ago, the clinic informed us of its decision to discontinue the process of recruiting new surrogates, as it had done for many years.

 

In the letter sent to us, the clinic explained that its decision stems from growing legal uncertainty in Colombia, legislative developments, and increased scrutiny of the field by the authorities and the courts. The clinic emphasized that this is a policy decision related to its management of legal risks, and that its letter does not state that surrogacy has been broadly prohibited in Colombia or that previous activities were unlawful.

 

Following the letter, we are currently reviewing, together with our legal team, the implications of the proposed legislative changes and the potential future impact they may have on the continuation of surrogacy programs and processes in Colombia. These developments include bills currently before Congress, petitions pending before the Supreme Court, regulatory initiatives in the Bogotá District, and lower-court rulings relating to the severance of legal parentage ties.

 

At the same time, and as part of our full commitment to the continuation of each and every one of your journeys, we are now working on various solutions, including establishing of a dedicated infrastructure for recruiting surrogates.

 

In the interest of full transparency, it is important to note that building such an infrastructure takes time, and delays cannot be avoided for journeys in which a surrogate has not yet been matched.

 

What does this update mean for you?

 

• Medical procedures at the clinic will continue as usual, including egg retrievals, fertilizations, and embryo creation.
• Intended parents who are already at the pregnancy stage — your journeys will, of course, proceed as usual, and we will continue to fully support you through the birth.
• Intended parents who have already been matched with a surrogate - the medical process will continue as usual at the clinic, with full support and coordination with all relevant parties through pregnancy and birth.
• Intended parents who are currently waiting to be matched with a surrogate - CELAGEM’s decision is expected to create significant delays at the matching stage. We understand the difficulty and frustration that many of you are experiencing at this time, and we are dedicating significant resources to identifying appropriate solutions.

 

For those of you who wish to transition to a different program, we will review the implications together and provide as much support as possible. Given the circumstances, Tammuz will, on an exceptional basis, subsidize part of the transition costs.

 

In every case, we remain fully committed to continuing your journey through to its successful completion.

 

Surrogacy can be a long and emotionally demanding journey, and pursuing it abroad involves navigating different medical and legal systems. We know these challenges well, and that experience places a responsibility on us to act, to explain clearly, and to find solutions.

 

It is precisely at moments like these that Tammuz’s international experience, professional team, and global partnerships have practical significance. There is a team working with the clinics, coordinating the process, reviewing alternatives, and supporting you in making the decisions ahead.

 

We are making all of these resources and our accumulated experience available to you.

 

We understand that this new information raises questions and concerns. Therefore, over the course of the next weeks, we will begin scheduling meetings to explore the most appropriate path forward for their individual situation.

 

We will continue to update you regarding any material developments and remain by your side throughout the journey.

 

Warmly,

 

Tammuz team

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To say we are frustrated would be an understatement. Our experience with Tammuz has been a long series of delays, missed timelines and incomplete explanations.

We would really like to hear from other Tammuz clients, especially anyone who is/was currently waiting for a surrogate match in Colombia.

My husband and I were lucky enough to welcome our little boy into the world in August. I thought I would share a little of our journey here in case it’s helpful to anyone.

First things first, we are based in the U.K., and we are both British - me by birth and my husband by naturalisation. He also holds an EU Country passport in addition to his U.K. I also realise that the experience I describe below is only possible because we had access to £250,000 to spend and that relatively few people are so lucky.

That said, we assembled a team to help us:

- Brilliant Beginnings are our UK agency. They handled the introductions to our partners in the United States.
- NGA law are a partner firm of Brilliant Beginnings and handle the UK legal process.
- NEFI were our fertility clinic. I cannot recommend them even to my worst enemy. Our experience with them was the most horrific of our journey. Their communications were terrible.
- US Surrogacy were our surrogate agency. They were nothing short of amazing. They are known to prioritise the wellbeing of the surrogate - but believe me, as intended parents you actively want someone to be advocating for your surrogate. A healthy surrogate is a healthy baby.
- IFLG were our US lawyers. They were ok. Their communications tended to be last minute rather than stepping things out in advance. This often meant delays if I was travelling for work and they suddenly wanted me to sign something in front of a notary.

The important thing here is that regardless of who you go with for many of these services - you will be assembling a team of people who will need to work together to bring this off.

We got incredibly lucky with our surrogate match. She is the kind of person who researched the exact details of every aspect of her own pregnancies - and so when things started happening with ours, she was able to give us details and insights that we wouldn’t have known otherwise. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

The process itself is an emotional rollercoaster. There are sublime highs, and devastating lows. For us, the lowest point was embryo creation. We went from elation at 29 eggs retrieved from the egg donor, to devastation at ending up with a single viable embryo. We had resigned ourselves to creating more embryos- but decided in the meantime to go ahead with the one we had. Against the odds - the pregnancy took.

Being so far away was hard. We managed to visit the states for the 20 week scan, but otherwise our main communication method was WhatsApp groups.

Why did we choose the US? Certainty. Commercial surrogacy is legal here and we were protected by a contract. Executive orders notwithstanding… the legal framework gave us a lot of peace of mind. It also meant that we were able to apply for a pre birth order. That means that the only birth certificate ever produced for our baby lists two fathers - us. This makes the process for the UK citizenship and the EU third country citizenship much easier.

My main advice is to plan for the hidden costs. For us these were:

- A lack of understanding of the healthcare system meant some unexpected bills.
- The cost of living here in the states has been eye opening. The two months we have had living here have been shockingly expensive in terms of food in particular- which is more expensive than the UK.
- Buying things for the two month stay that we can’t fit into our luggage for the journey home. Our surrogate has helped us here by assisting in donating goods to a women’s shelter with us.

My other tip that would have made things easier for us… hospitals, doctors, pharmacies, vital records offices, and other people - they are not set up for international phone calls. Get yourself a temporary US phone number. It will save heaps of time.

We’ve been struggling to find kids movies or shows where two dads are actually featured in it. Toddler is 2 and a half, loves Totoro and ponyo, but also likes Pokemon and my adventures with Superman, avatar the last airbender, and bluey.

Suggestions with where to watch them are appreciated.

Gay married couple, mid 30's, professionals, we have been approved to go through to stage 2, the first stage was realtively easy as we are both in professions that require a high level of checking anyway. Now we start the Home study bit which feels daunting. Any advice on this stage?

My husband and I have a surrogate in South Carolina. I am aware that we can get a pre-birth order to be on the birth certificate but what I have seen online is that the birth certificate says ”mother” and “father” whereas some states it says “parent” and “parent.” I am wondering if this could cause any problems down the line given that neither of us is a woman.

I want to share my personal experience as a warning to other intended parents considering Tammuz.
My experience has raised serious concerns about the way Tammuz presents its surrogacy programs and the information provided to clients before they commit.
In my case, I was given certain expectations about the process, waiting times and how my journey would progress. However, the reality turned out to be very different. Over a long period of time, I received changing explanations and information, while the promised progress did not materialise.
What concerns me even more is what happened when I raised these issues. Instead of taking responsibility for the problems I experienced, I felt that responsibility was repeatedly shifted elsewhere.
For me, this has resulted in a significant loss of time, money and trust.
I am sharing my experience because I do not want other intended parents to make a major financial and life decision based solely on the information presented to them by a company.
Please do your own due diligence, ask difficult questions, get everything in writing, and carefully consider what happens if the promised timeline or outcome does not materialise.
This is my personal experience, and I believe other intended parents deserve to hear it before making such an important decision.

I created this account specifically to share my experience with Tammuz. That’s the point. If you’ve had a good experience with them, feel free to share it. I’d rather discuss the actual facts than argue about the age of my Reddit account.