r/kundalini

I think I could be in a beginning stage of kundalini.

I've seen a side of myself I didn't know I had earlier this year. I spent every day in complete terror that I was dying. It took me nearly 6 months to recover from this and I've still had a few days here and there up until now when I start to question if I'm dying and if I'm going to slip back into that horrible state.

It led to alot of realizations about why I am the way I am. That the way I react to things isn't my fault, the things I participate in daily life that I hate and can't seem to get away from. That my body just found the only way it could to feel like survival was possible. I've slipped in and out of states where it feels like I have control over my life again for the first time ever. My dreams have become more intense and easily remembered upon waking, and notice that they reflect a process my nervous system is undergoing.

I have times where I realize suddenly how strange it is that my body sensations don't seem to be connected with emotions. I mostly only experience the physical side of them. If I'm angry I feel my chest tense up and I hate it, but I'm not sure if there's actually much emotion there that I can feel. When I want to cry which has been happening more often, I don't feel sad, angry etc. My eyes just ache and I know that it means I want to cry. Usually I really have to focus on letting the tears out because I know that it is good, but it doesn't feel natural. A lot of the times I don't even know why I'm crying. Theres no memory attached, and there's no emotion either. My childhood didn't seem that bad, but that's probably another defense mechanism.

I don't know if it's something else. I'm probably just numb, but I always told myself that I'm not. Because the positive emotions I can feel and do often, but the negative ones seem to be completely off limits to me.

The reason I think it's kundalini is because I just intuitively feel that something massive is going on under the surface. I felt it before I even had this health crisis. I knew that my life wouldn't look the same soon, after 12 years of stagnation. I've already been doing spiritual practises for years, and I read that kundalini is heavily tied to the nervous system, which I've been focusing on heavily. It's the centerpoint of all my symptoms. And I've had a ton of energy sensations around my body including the face, scalp, neck and gut which I believe are connected to fascia.

I had some wild experiences over the last few years. It happened after a period of working with plant medicines, shamanism and a lot of therapeutic work and spiritual practices. Some of the main experiences:

-see/feeling the ‘light’ snake rising up from the tail bone
-aspects of the bliss body turning on and off
-hyper realistic lucid dreaming
-telepathy
-spirits
-feeling as though everyone and everything around me was acting in a theatre performance for my benefit
-massive emotional purging
-chakras opening and closing

I’ve been working to get my life back on track in the 3D this past year as I spent several weeks homeless and several months in various psych wards throughout the multi year occurrences. I’m in a good place now - financially secure, engaging with friends and family again.

The various abilities are all turned off now. It was as if getting a glimpse of heaven and hell. Heaven being literally inside of us and hell being a disconnect from the world around us. Some of it was really scary and a bit painful and some of it was jaw dropping awe inspiring.

It felt like I shouldn’t talk about it for a long time but as I’ve slowly inquired with different people as to their supernatural experiences I discovered that it was more common than I thought. Posting here seemed like a good next step to continue integrating and preparing for what’s next.

I see a major surprise that everyone must get to go through as to what this whole experience of being human on earth is about and what comes after… I don’t want to say too much and spoil the surprise but I’m really grateful to be on this journey with everyone I’ve met along the way - even and especially the negative experiences as I think we will all arrive at a place where we can look back and laugh together at our younger spiritual selves.

I’m left wondering what’s next, how I should be in right place now, and craving discussion with others who have experienced similar or are just curious about these stories people share.

EDIT: I think the most important thing I learned was a much higher capacity for empathy and possible reasons people do the things that they do. I think that continues to be a key for unlocking what’s next. Humility too.

Hi, I really appreciate this subreddit and the mods; you've been really helpful for this lurker. I'm having an interesting experience and I'm looking for some help making sense of it. I've been experiencing kundalini-like body intelligence since last summer following my first Vipassana. Since then I've gone through many more retreats, purification, and a complete pivot in diet change/body work/work sabbatical/trauma therapy/spiritual connection/etc.

I'm currently integrating expanded awareness of opening up to a more subtle layer of awareness and trying to understand a visual phenomenon.

I have been waking up in the mornings with a lot of what feels like subtle sludge that creates a lot of somatic vibrations, pressure, and movement within me, and the first thing I do is meditation/breathwork and somatic release until I find relief and feel inner clarity.

What's changed is that the somatic release now is accompanied by 2 visual phenomena:

1. smoke-like evaporation, which I think is like karmic burn-off?
2. a pixelated-like entity formation whose density of form can vary; sometimes it just looks like sparkles, and other times it's been a lot more structured, almost like a spirit.

Number 1 fits into my mental model (based on other people's descriptions) of what's happening with the kundalini process , but I'm curious to get your take on what #2 may be. Someone has recommended I look into shamanism so I'm starting to pull on that thread, but I'd love to understand if there's a traditional kundalini view for this phenomenon or if this is something unrelated entirely.

Hello,
So this happened a few weeks ago (1.5-2 weeks ago). I am sure I didn't awaken, but I was trying to find out if my nadi's got cleaned or anything like that.
Let me preface by saying I am young(18) and male.

Story

So I got into spirituality and stuff after reading 'Autobiography of a Yogi' (lol), and I started to do alternate nostril breathing, pranayama, and Vipassana meditation for like 2-3 hours daily. I also read Ram Das's book 'Be Here Now' and used to listen to him fairly often.
I am not very religious and not on celibacy either. I didn't even read the Bhagavad Gita, but I have always been a big lover of Krishna since childhood(I liked him, prayed to him) --> I also eat meat and everything and never followed the satvic diet they prescribe.

Since I was doing meditation, I felt better, but within like 2-2.5 weeks of doing it, my energy increased; I was getting panic attacks, anxiety (it wasn't anything that bad). Also, what scared me was related to my heart beating- palpitations and sensations which I felt every 2-4 seconds(hated it; what you generally hear from people who have kundalini awakening). One day during night, I felt a sudden surge of energy that I couldn't even sleep through the whole night. Oh, I have been feeling sexual urges constantly since that day (even till now)

Funny, a few days after this, I saw Ram Das in my dream(he was full of light; I also felt a presence of Neem Karoli Baba's energy there; he wasn't there, only Ram Das. It felt really good; I was smiling the whole day after this, and I still do when I remember it(it was very profound; I loved it). Oh, I was chanting Hanuman Chalisa (3 times per day) for like 3 days when this happened. If you don't know, Ram Das was a Hanuman Bhakta.

After this, I quit meditating (lol idk why), and my heart pain, or whatever you call it, went away in a day like it was never there.

So now, to the present, I have been studying this kundalini thing, and I can say it wasn't kundalini awakening or anything, but the symptoms were very similar to people who were on the path. I think I stopped them (glad for it). I don't wank moksha or nirvana, so I am not gonna meditate now, and pls don't tell me to do it either(I am scared lol).

Oh, I am quite into astrology, and from my readings and understanding, I am a Taurus and 9th house, so it says that I have been on the path of spirituality since previous lives (maybe, maybe not).

I wanted to ask:

Did anyone go through this? Did my nadis get cleansed, and that's why the sudden pain or was it kundalini rising to my Manipura chakra or heart chakra?

P.S.: I am studying this kundalini and spirituality thing now, so I don't want to continue on the kundalini path but rather the bhakta and Jnana path.