Not eating on girls trips… is this normal??
TW: eating disorders, possible maternal abuse, childhood eating disorders
It seems like every girls trip I go on I come home ravenous. I could go on a co-ed family trip or friend trip and eat the whole time but the second it’s a girls trip, there’s always at least one person in the group that wants to eat as little as possible, will shame/question the group for being hungry, etc. I’ve learned to just eat regardless and bring plenty of snacks but it’s like fighting for survival at some points.
I’m on a trip to Disneyland right now with my mom, aunt, her two daughters (14, 9), another cousin, and grandma. The first night, there were complaints about sugar and about how most of the group is off sugar. My cousin even said her husband “would get so mad if he knew she was eating sugar”. Complained about how “rich” the desserts are and how they’d only take a small bite. Other comments about not wanting flabby mom arms or wanting to lose weight.
Second day was Disneyland. I started to get concerned for the small girls. The whole day they + their mother had:
- 1 churro each
- 2 shared bags of popcorn
- 1 small shared bag of pretzels
ALL BEFORE 5 PM
- shared tapas for dinner, where there mother was constantly pointing out who was eating what, trying to get everyone to eat her food (presumably so she didn’t have to)
- 1 shared cookie after dinner, I shared my cookie with the 9 year old and the mom got mad that she didn’t share the cookie with her instead (so she ate half instead of thirds)
I luckily was able to sneak some food to the 9 year old throughout the day. She was very hungry. Mind you we were out from 7 am to midnight walking 30k steps. The 2 girls and their mom are very thin. I just assumed it was genetics but she is constantly policing their food.
The next morning, we got some small pastries from Starbucks per their mom’s request. Before we went, the mom said “I’m still full from the meatball from dinner!” (She had ONE small meatball at dinner). The 14 year old took 2 bites of her food and said “I guess I realized im also still full from dinner”. The 9 year old was happily eating her share of food and her sister’s. If she’s that hungry, shouldn’t they be too??? The nine year old ate more dinner than them.
I just feel like I’m in hell. Gives me absolutely no hope for women if we can’t even treat our bodies right. Literally the only people who haven’t commented on food or shamed our food or others is me and my mom. All they do is talk about food and our next meal. I know this is the exception trip not the rule, but I’m thinking back on all my girls trips and some form of this happens.
Thoughts? Is there anything I can say to try to discourage this? I’ve tried talking with the girl and encouraging her listening to her body but the mother and teen seem beyond my reasonable help.
EDIT: this family is not poor. Uncle is a CIO and aunt works in political campaigns. They are doing extremely well.