u/ALazy_Cat

I've always had a bad back, part of me believe I was born with it, which doesn't help at all. I've never been taught how to lift correctly, and it doesn't help that I lift boxes, pallet lids, other stuff where I need to lift heavy stuff or bend forward. 6 months ago I was in an accident where I broke my collarbone, crushed my ligament,and got a hit to my back, which doesn't show up on an x-ray. Yesterday was stressful at work and not good for my back at all. 2-3 hours of near excruciating pain, about an hour and a half with rest, meaning sitting or riding my bicycle, before a deliveryman came with my new bed. We lifted my old one out, which wasn't so bad since we were two, but then he left, leaving me to assemble the bed, meaning put legs on the bed before moving it from the living room to the bedroom alone, thankfully not far, and then I had to put the new mattress inside the mattress cover. It's been 24 hours since that, and I still have back pain. I nearly called in sick to work and I had to cancel going to a whisky tasting with friends. From 2pm till next morning is pretty much just stay in bed. I should mention I'm only 28

I'm allowed to self medicate to a degree. I take 54mg in the morning, and can suppliment with 36mg at any point during the day, or take 1-3 36mg during the day. I use the 36mg as prevention or precaution before stressful situations, such as conventions or parties, but I can't take two pills closer than 4 hours apart. If I take them closer, I lose all emotions. I feel sad because I can't feel anything, but I can't feel sadness, which makes me frustrated, but I can't feel frustration, which makes me angry, but I can't feel anger, I can't feel happiness either. At one party, there was some good food, and I LOVE good food, it makes me very happy, but I had taken two pills too close, and couldn't feel the joy I would get from the food, which made my body feel sad, my body, not my emotions. Every time I accidentally did this, I asked for a ride home early on as this effect last till I wake up the next morning, and being there only makes me feel worse and more like a failiure, yet I can't feel that either