u/A_Puzzled_Potato

So my husband signed up for plumbing and pipe fitting school in Tennessee (TCAT, if that matters). He really wanted to do plumbing but only after he signed up did they inform him that they're literally just falsely advertising for some kind of grant money, they barely teach anything about plumbing, just enough to keep the grant. Assholes. Anyway.... So my husband really doesn't want to travel, and that wouldn't have been an issue had the plumbing thing worked out, but obviously it's not going to. What are his options realistically? Could he try getting into a different trade. He's a hard worker and his teachers all like him and are willing to recommend him. He's also NCCER certified up to the 4th pipe fitting book.

I've been thinking alot about how to view salvation and the means of salvation. I know the basics of ECT, annilationism, and universalism. I also know that the Bible mentions works alot more than the average evangelical would believe. I don't think salvation is based on works per-say, but it also doesn't make sense that salvation is based on having the right beliefs or intellectual understanding of God. Many evangelicals (not all) seem almost entirely focused on "getting the right answer" so to speak, and a lot less focused on how they actually live and treat people.

I can say with pretty good confidence that there is no reason for a person who grew up in a primarily Buddhist/Muslim/Hindu setting to go to hell just because they didn't find a foreign religion convincing. At the same time I don't know if I'm fully convinced of universalism. Are there any people here who have alternative views of salvation? Maybe someone who doesn't fall neatly into one of the 3 camps (ECT, annilationism, and universalism). What do you think makes a person saved? Does it have to do with what we think, what we do, the state of your soul and morality, or some of all 3?

TLDR: My manipulative sister was favored by my parents as kids and she now lives off them entirely at the age of 20. No drivers license, spends all day smoking, and holds my parents hostage emotionally........ and wonders why I don't like her.

I've never really gotten along with my sister. Even as little kids I felt suffocated by her. She's always been So. Fucking. Clingy. She's obsessed with me and I have no idea why. I think my parents favored her, and in some ways still do. I grew up constantly hearing how exceptionally kind and empathetic she was. Meanwhile I was... smart. That's the extent of the compliments I got. She just seemed to be an angel in their eyes. She was an easier kid too, although it was never said it me explicitly, I could tell even as a little kid. My parents literally had a book about dealing with explosive difficult children, I knew they bought it because of me the moment I found it in their bookshelf. (They later confirmed this when I was an adult)

I know I wasn't easy, but I always felt like the bad guy as a kid. She would constantly beg for my attention and play time. My parents never sided with me, instead it was like I was a problem to fix. They would give her tips on how to get me to spend more time with her, in front of me, and then later lecture me about how my sister would be all I had after they passed away. I had to wait to have a phone till I was 13, she got one at 10. I couldn't have sleepovers with male friends in highschool, she slept over with guys lots in highschool. My sister has been openly smoking pot since her middle school years, I can't even imagine what would have happened if I did that. I never tried actually, because I was a relatively good kid, not that my parents ever noticed. I could go on but it would make this post too long lol.

I've tried to put that in the past and have a better relationship as adults but I honestly can't stand her. Our relationship was strained as children and now that we're adults she's honestly grown into someone I just loathe seeing. She's not just a victim, that wouldn't do it justice, she's a professional victim. She's schizophrenic, and boy does she milk that for all its worth. She's 20 and all she really does is smoke pot, sit in her bedroom, hangout with friends and work 15 hours a week at a grocery store. She has a "rent" of 200 dollars which she doesn't even pay half the time. (And yes I payed rent every month I lived in their house since the day I turned 18) She doesn't take her psych meds unless she is pestered by my mother, and makes zero meaningful effort to improve her situation in anyway at all.

Mind you, I have bipolar, yet I work full time, have an apartment I pay for all by myself while my husband is in school, I'm married, I have good functional friends that aren't on drugs, I'm preparing to start my own business soon. I'm not saying having mental illnesses on the more severe end of the spectrum isn't hard, its hella hard, but I have fought tooth and nail to improve my functionality and have a life I'm proud of. My sister has done none of that.

She's honestly incredibly manipulative and has my parents wrapped around her finger. I'm not sure all of it is necessarily conscious, but she is perfectly aware that my parents are >!scared she'll off herself!< if they push her even a little bit, and I know that knowledge effects her behavior. She even says stuff to my mother like "If I couldn't smoke pot I think I'd kill myself". (And surprise surprise, they haven't done anything to stop her from smoking in their house) She's "on the chronic" as my mom puts it, smoking 5 or 6 times a day.

I'm currently essentially babysitting her so my parents can go on vacation. They're so convinced she might >!kill herself!< that they won't go on vacation without having someone around to monitor her. She's emotionally holding them hostage. >!People that are truly planning to hurt themselves keep it secret to prevent anyone trying to stop them. (I unfortunately know that from experience) They don't tell people they're going to if they can't have xyz, like some kind of threat. !<

On top of all that she's constantly having meltdowns and screaming matches with my parents. She lives like a spoiled 15 year old. Get this, SHE DOSENT EVEN DRIVE, no car no license. My parents drive her to the vape store weekly because frankly she'll have a ballistic meltdown if they don't take her to get nicotine and weed. My parents drive her everywhere she wants to go, because driving is "too stressful" and she "can't do it". (Her words). I'm just so sick of her bullshit.

I (22f) am considering whether I want kids in the future. Me and my husband want to travel and buy a house first so we're not having kids for another 3-5 years. To clarify I know I want kids, I just don't know if I should have kids.

I was diagnosed with bp2 at 19, I was miserable for years as a teen, but after being diagnosed I got on proper medication and life has been good. My mother has bipolar as well and she was a great mom so I know being a good parent with mental health issues is very possible. I just worry because it's such an irreversible choice. Once a baby arrives you have to be stable and strong for them. I'm doing fine now but I worry that pregnancy and postpartum hormones would do a number on me.

I work as a childcare/respite care provider. I know I love kids, so that's not really the issue. My husband is also very helpful (no weaponized incompetence over here) so I know he would be a great help and support for me. My mom and mother in law also love kids and would be happy to help.

I just don't want to bring a person into this world just to mess them up. My moods are healthy and controlled right now, I don't know if that will always be the case. I couldn't forgive myself of my child left the nest with a bunch of trauma because of me.

Are there any parents or potential parents here that have more serious mental health issues? What are your thoughts/experiences?

Me(22f) and my husband(23m) have been discussing the idea of non-monogamy. Specificly we want to experience same-sex relationships. We're both bisexual but never really got to explore that because we lived with our homophobic families up until we met each other. We both find the idea of seeing our partner with other people hot as well.

We're both pretty interested but we're not doing anything about it because we're too scared it will blow up our relationship somehow. Now, this fear isn't really based in how I feel or the state of our relationship, it's more so just the stories I hear. Most of what I see online are stories of people trying to open a failing marriage as some kind of last resort, or one partner pressuring the other so they can sleep with a specific person. Obviously those examples are unhealthy and ill advised, but I can't find many stories other than that. I'm just terrified that if we jump in one of us will freak out. Are those just the stories that get upvotes and attention? Or are people really mostly having negative experiences?

I(22f) am in the process of figuring out if I have celiacs. One thing that immediately caught my attention was the fact that vitamin deficiencies and nerve damage from celiacs can cause numbness and tingling. I'm NOT looking for a diagnosis, rather I'm looking for your experiences with numbness and tingling to see if they mirror mine.

For me it started out small and I mostly ignored it, when leaning on a limb I would get pins and needles much faster than normal. As time went on the numbness would persists even after the needle feeling was gone.

Now sometimes if write or embroider my fingers will get slightly numb and inaccurate. My fine motor skills have gotten worse in the last year-6 months, to the point that typing anything on my phone is becoming a source of frustration and anger.

Most recently my feet will go numb if I'm driving, most frequently my left foot.

My toes have also started going numb when I wear flip flops.

For people who have a diagnosis, what did (or do) the nerve issues look like for you?

Fair warning I am not an SLP I'm a respite care worker, however I couldn't find another place to post this where people would know what I was talking about.

I work with a nonverbal boy (10) and his family, they are strong believers in s2c. Like to the point that they have him in no other therapies except seeing his s2c practitioner. The whole situation is heartbreaking and I just don't know what to do.

I've seen him "spell" and his mother holds to board and points to the correct letter until he pokes it. They simultaneously believe he is a genius that taught himself to read while also treating him like a toddler. Of course, they don't notice this discrepancy because of cognitive dissonance and denial.

From what I have seen over the past year this child is severely intellectually disabled, and the poor family just can't accept it. It's an awful situation for all of them. He understands some of what you say, like key words he hears frequently, but not complex sentences like "I put the bagels in the cabinet". He won't look for said bagels and doesn't seem to understand, his family explains that away as a apraxia. He isn't potty trained either, also explained away as apraxia.

I've tried to gently suggest true AAC but they're very against anything that isn't spelling, it's like a cult. I think he would do well with something tablet based because he is able to touch or bring you objects that he wants. That's never going to happen though because mom won't have it. To some degree it angers me because he probably could communicate at least a little with real AAC. On the other hand it just makes me sad because I know his family is in denial and grieving who they thought he'd be.

I guess I just need to vent to people who get it. S2C is such predatory bullshit. Fuck the people who sell this snake oil to desperate families.

I'm a woman married to a man the same height as me. I love him and am attracted to him. He's not super buff and doesn't currently make much money. We're happy and doing well.

I've seen people on here saying women are "essentially lesbians".

How would you explain me?

Am I lying to myself? Or just outright lying?

This isn't meant to be hostile, I'm genuinely confused as to how this world view makes sense. Don’t get me wrong I can see what you guys are saying in some of these posts, but it just doesn't make sense as universal or near universal rule.

So about a year and a half ago I found out that my now husband has a porn/cybersex addiction. He was messaging strangers for nudes, not really full blown relationships, but not exactly ethical either. At first I was heart broken because I felt like I couldn't trust him. As time went on I decided to stay and explore my feelings more. I realized that I wasn't particularly upset about the sex, just the lying. I made a post about this in an infidelity recovery sub, and was essentially told I was just in shock and I would be angry soon enough.

Well nearly 2 years later and I'm still not angry about the sexual aspect lol

I'm NOT asking about opening our relationship, that might be a future option but not right now.

I'm simply trying to investigate my own mind.

I'm asking this: why is it that I don't care about the sexual bit? Is this a sign that I lean towards non monogamy?

I remember toying with the idea of having sex with others while in a relationship back in high-school. I had a boyfriend that I would frequently have discussions with about who we thought was hot. I guess I've always leaned that way, I just want to be sure I'm not lying to myself about being ok with it.

I do have fears around being abandoned. If I reassure myself that he'd stay with me, even if we saw other people, I feel mostly fine. I think most of the discomfort I feel with the idea is due to fears surrounding my own perceived inadequacy.

How can you tell how you really feel about non-monogamy? And if it might be for you, or not?