u/Academic_Sherbet_803

Here’s my last post for context: https://www.reddit.com/r/beginnerfitness/s/I68UatnVhL

Thanks for all the great advice here. I’ve been consistently going to the gym 6 days a week (3 days in a row with 1 rest day in between). Doing roughly 30mins strength (rotating between back/chest/shoulders, legs, and arms respectively on each day). And 30mins of cardio on the elliptical. I also do 50-60 sit-ups on my 1st and 3rd days.

Overall I’ve definitely noticed good changes so far. I’m gaining some muscle mass and definition, and I’m able to handle the cardio while gradually increasing the elliptical resistance while ‘running’ 1.5 miles each time.

However, I notice my weight has stayed pretty much exactly 200ibs this whole time which is odd considering I cut out high-fat food, am eating a lot healthier, and burn like 250-300cals per cardio session (according to the machine), not to mention walking like 10k steps a day and whatever is burned from the strength training.

I don’t mind being 200ibs because I’m like 6’4ish and it’s on the upper end of a ‘healthy’ BMI. However I did want to get to like 180 have a leaner build rather than teeter on being overweight.

Is this just my body retaining more water, or possibly all the extra protein I’m getting being converted to muscle which weighs more (I probably get like 60-80gs per day)? I cut out almonds because I was snacking on them too much and they’re high-fat. Otherwise I’m probably 2kish calories a day.

It’s also possible I’m eating a bit more compared to before. I wasn’t really keeping track of my diet, but I definitely avoided over-eating even though my diet wasn’t great (I miss frozen pizzas ☹️). However I’d assume all the cardio and walking would negate this.

Any insight would be appreciated. Would you recommend sticking to the current approach, or perhaps finding ways to cut more calories. I cook with butter/oil and eat like a small container of guacamole a week so those could go, but otherwise I’m reluctant to cut down too much to keep up the muscle growth.

Those letters use all the vowels and entire upper keyboard row, and don’t repeat letters. It intentionally ‘burns’ guesses and disregards letter placement, but I can usually guess correctly in one or two guesses after.

I’m not sure if there’s a ‘meta’ strategy, but for whatever reason this has always felt like the right thing to do. Anyone else play similarly? I feel someone needs to invent a five-vowel word for an optimal first guess.

Follow up to this post: https://www.reddit.com/r/beginnerfitness/s/0wBPH4VdGd

I got some good advice so thanks to the people who helped out.

Just finished my 7th day of hitting the gym (I took 3 days off intermittently). And I’m feeling good so far. Things I’ve noticed:

- I can now comfortably do 30mins of elliptical cardio at healthy heart rate. The first couple days I was at 180+ bmp after 10 minutes, very sad. I do some ‘rolling hills’ preset which adjusts the resistance. I’ll just keep upping the resistance if it gets too easy.

- I felt super-tired the first few days, but now I definitely have more energy and my posture is improving.

- I still feel I can’t lift heavy enough weights, but I’m not pushing myself too hard yet. I can feel muscles being “activated” if that makes sense and they’re constantly throbbing slightly which is mildly unsettling but probably indicative of progress.

- My weight is still 200ibs, if anything it increased slightly which is odd. Apparently this may be my body retaining extra water which is fine. Also I’m like 6’4ish so this is the upper limit of ‘healthy’ bmi.

- Gross, but I notice my urine is dark in the morning despite drinking way more water. I guess I need to drink even more, I do sweat a lot during cardio which is good. Other than water I just drink black coffee and sometimes tea.

- I installed some macro-tracking app, and I’m really struggling to fulfill my protein quota. I’ve been adding frozen grilled chicken strips to a lot of meals (yeah fresh would be better but I don’t want to constantly be handling raw chicken). Plus eggs, beans, almonds and greek yogurt.

- I’m cooking way more than I used to and it’s taking a lot of time, but I’m trying to completely revamp my diet. Eating enough calories is kind of a struggle in general, as I struggle to surpass 2k most days. This was fine when I was sedentary, but I should probably eat more.

Here’s a typical day’s diet:

Breakfast - 2 packs of plain instant oatmeal with blueberries, low-sugar granola, and a bit of added brown sugar.

Lunch - 2 slices of rye bread with guacamole, banana, almonds, and Greek yogurt

Supper - Fried chicken strips with onions and peppers, wrapped in whole wheat tortillas with guacamole, salsa, and spinach.

Snack - Carrots and hummus

I’ve cut out anything desert-related and am avoiding salt and sugar.

I feel I could be eating more but also I want to shed 20-30 pounds before focusing on adding extra muscle, so this will hopefully get me enough nutrition and protein to tone my body. I’m also going to buy some protein shake to add in.

My questions:

- I’m currently doing 3 days at the gym, with 30mins of cardio and 30mins strength training of various muscle groups. 1 day off, then 3 days on. Is this a good rotation or should I update this in some way?

- Current muscle targeting per days: Back, Arms (biceps/triceps), Legs, Shoulder/Chest. Plus I try to throw in 40-50 sit ups every day. Is this a good breakdown of groups to target? Some days I notice my arms hurt (like after back days). So I’m not sure if I’m using the wrong muscles or if there’s a better overlap of muscles being targeted.

- I’m still only using machines that are look easy to figure out. Eventually I want to move onto stuff like the squat rack and bench press (I’ve never done either in my life). When would you recommend making that leap?

- I’ve heard good things about Creatine. Should I incorporate that, or wait until I’ve got a good routine and can make better use of handling more weight.

- Will eating less than 100g of protein a day still allow me to gain some muscle mass? I’m really struggling to cook eggs and chicken constantly. Tuna is great but I don’t want mercury poisoning lol. But we’ll see if the shakes help.

Overall I’m happy so far at the minor changes but have a long way to go. Feel free to share any helpful tips and insight now that I’m getting a better feel for getting fit.

For context I’m with WealthSimple. I’ll probably reach out to them too but some perspective here would be helpful too from you fine Bogle Boys (and girls).

First, I understand they’re basically identical and my gains/losses will comparatively be a fraction of a percent long-term. However, I’m drawn to VEQT for the following reasons:

- Their logo is nicer. Maroon is more regal and aesthetically pleasing than the sterile, soulless white and black of iShares. I want to feel like royalty every time I open the app.

- As I’m becoming more of a Bogle-head with age, I feel like my loyalties lie with the firm that started it all. Also Vanguard’s corporate structure is pleasing to my morality. I feel like Vanguard is like the Rebel Alliance and Blackrock is the Empire. I believe this opinion has been echoed by Warren Buffet and George Lucas.

- Owning more shares in general sounds appealing. If some downtrodden peasant in Italy starts selling loaves of bread in a Tuscan bodega, I want a piece of that action.

- More Canadian shares give me some tax benefits for dividends or something like that, I think. Though I realize dividends aren’t really that relevant in the grand scheme.

Here are my questions:

To pull off the grand switcheroo as I call it, is it just a simple matter of selling all my XEQT and buying VEQT within my TFSA? I know there are rules against day-trading, but hopefully the CRA can see I’m a simple man just doing a simple old fashioned switcheroo.

I know the dividend structure is different, with XEQT paying quad-annually and VEQT annually. I was thinking of waiting until I get my Q3 dividends, let the DRIP re-invest, then sell sometime after that to get in on VEQT’s end-of-year dividends. Is this clever or fraudulent?

Thanks for reading 🙏 and any advice or perspective is welcome. Also if you think it’s better to just stay with XEQT I’m open to that too. I mainly chose it because I didn’t want to be over-invested in Canada, but the potential tax benefits related to dividends are appealing enough to justify an extra 5% allocation or whatever.

I’m trying to educate myself more on investing, and would appreciate some perspective of people who have been in the game a while.

When I first learned about dividends, they sounded amazing and something I should be prioritizing my portfolio around. There’s subreddits dedicated to dividend-based investing, and people love the free bonus money (especially with a DRIP).

However, after some more research, I’ve learned dividends are less amazing than they sound. My understanding is that they reduce the share price each time they’re issued, and take resources away from expenses that could produce better long-term stock performance, negating their value.

Right now they’re not super relevant to me as I’m focusing on XEQT. I get some dividends from that (presumably from any stocks within that are producing them), and I have them set to automatically re-invest but they’re not too significant anyway.

For people with more knowledge and experience, what are your thoughts on dividends? Is there a ‘consensus’ opinion on them, or are investors divided on their merit.

Thanks for reading and have a good one.

I went to the gym a lot in my late teens/early 20s but didn’t really know what I was doing. Mainly did one of those circuit-type setups at the gym I went to.

Got a gym membership this week and have been twice. Overall I feel super out of shape but really want to get into a good routine and build a good physique. I’m eating healthier too — a lot of plain oatmeal with berries and granola in the morning, carrots/hummus, rye bread, almonds, beans, chicken and rice among other things.

The two times I went I stayed for pretty much 30mins, just tried out some random machines that looked easy to figure out, lifted some random free weights but I lack structure or purpose. Then did like 10mins of cardio on an elliptical which really made me sweat and my heart rate was above the ‘safe’ limit for my age (when you put your hands on the monitor built-in to the machine), so I stopped after like 10 mins. I remember being able to use them for like 30mins before, so I want to get back to that point.

I saw some woman using a squat rack and it looked like something I want to try but it looks intimidating for now, along with more of the freestyle non-guided equipment.

The goal was just to get out and get used to being active, so it’s a good start. But I want to transition to a more structured approach and hone in on muscle gain and fat loss. I don’t care about creatine or supplements, I care more about overall strength and a healthy, lean physique.

Bigger arms and legs are also a priority, I feel like mine are too small. Along with other areas that are helpful, like abs, back, shoulders, and chest. Eventually I’ll google some stuff to try and find a sustainable routine, but hoping for some general advice here.

I’m currently 6’4 and about 200 pounds. I look slim and lack a pot-belly or man-boobs as many men my age have, but my body feels soft and weak which I want to change. Goal is to be about 170-180 with significantly more muscle.

Any advice would be helpful! Thanks for reading.

I have a few general questions on limit buys. I’m going to ask Wealthsimple’s AI advisor too, but I figured some advice from actual people would be helpful too.

I just tried a limit buy on XEQT and it seemed to work fine, so I’m thinking of doing this from now on rather than fractional buying, I was just looking for some general advice.

1. Is it always preferable to limit buy compared to regular buying? Honestly I don’t care if the price goes up by a cent or whatever, but if there are cases when a big spike occurs for whatever reason the moment I trade, I can see the value. Is it even worth it to limit buy for something like XEQT, or would I be at most saving a cent or two per share.

2. If I set the limit price something that’s too low compared to the present trading price, will the pending trade just linger indefinitely until the price is low enough? The one trade I made seemed to have gone through immediately, but I’m wondering what would happen if I had set it lower.

3. Am I able to cancel pending limit buys without penalty? Like if I set it too low and it’s been a few days without going through.

4. Is it typical to just set the price limit for the present price you see, or do most people go a few cents lower? On one hand cheaper is better, but I’d also rather not have a pending transaction for a while, especially if the price is climbing.

5. If I set a limit price, is it still possible I get to buy at a lower price? Like supposed I set a limit for $50, but the price drops to $49 the moment I set the limit buy. Would it just buy the shares at $50 (because I’m willing to pay that much). Or would I get them at $49 because it’s the universal asset price at that point in time.

Thanks for reading and any insight or advice would be appreciated!

I’m new to ETFs and have been asking a lot of newbie questions and getting some good advice. Thanks to this sub and others for being so helpful.

So my understanding is that XEQT comprised of 8500ish stocks associated with various indexes. When XEQT launched, the price was set at $20 as an arbitrary number. As more people buy/sell XEQT, Blackrock buys/sells the underlying individual shares accordingly. Does this sound right so far?

Going further in depth, let’s suppose XEQT is trading at $100. If the value of all the underlying shares increase by 10%, does that mean XEQT will be precisely $110? Or are there other factors that could cause variation to that number?

And because I like to be aware of any worst-case scenarios, does Blackrock have the ability to torpedo XEQT’s value if they chose to? I understand Blackrock has been around a while and is a trusted institution, but suppose some unforeseen events happen, and Blackrock decides to create millions of extra XEQT shares arbitrarily which tanks the price for everyone. Would this violate any laws or contractual agreements, or they technically be allowed to do this if they please? I understand this is unlikely and would destroy their reputation, I just want to have some comfort knowing my money is safe long-term in XEQT (aside from normal market downturns/stagnation).

Thanks for reading and feel free to share any insight. The last question may be a stupid one, but I want to fully understand the risks.

For context, my current strategy is not trying to beat any markets, but rather just investing in indexes via XEQT because I don’t have time to obsessively monitor individual trends.

On one hand I feel this is horribly un-optimized and bound to include many stinkers by casting such a wide net. On the other hand, the overwhelming consensus seems to favor this approach, and I read a lot about how the vast majority of day traders lose money, and specialized portfolios from experts barely beat the market and are often not worth the extra management fees.

I’d assume that someone super well-versed and studied in investing who went to school for something math/finance related and devoted their life to the craft would be able to make a killing by trading/options alone, but apparently this is often not the case.

From personal experience, I used to invest in individual stocks. I did a bunch of research on Belo Sun mining corporation and invested a life-changing amount of 27.50 for 500 shares, which is now worth $435 (down significantly from its ATH). I’m kicking myself for not investing more, but also I didn’t really have a concrete strategy other than taking risks with the possibility of a big upside.

If someone like me with no professional investing background could find a big winner with a bit of Googling around (and assuming the specific circumstances of this particular stock could lead to a big spike), I would imagine investment pros would have the ability to consistently find +1000% gains to offset any losses on these risky bets.

For those who have been around longer and have more investment/financial experience, what are your thoughts on trying to beat the market with high risk/reward strategies? Going forward, I’m thinking of allocating like 10%-20% of my portfolio to these sorts of moves, but I’m curious about your thoughts.

For context, I’ve been filling my TFSA exclusively with XEQT because it’s a suitable “hands-off” investment for my needs, and I don’t mind riding out the occasional market downturn or stagnation.

However, I feel like it’s wrong to put all my eggs in one basket, especially since XEQT is so heavily US/CAN-centric (I realize there are other countries included, but minimal beyond NA and West Europe).

I was recently looking into similar ETFs that cover regions outside of XEQT’s scope, like South America, India, and SE Asia (minus Japan which is like 6-7% of XEQT). My logic is that there’s a possibility for these regions to experience stronger economic growth compared to the West over the next 20-30 years due to whatever unforeseen geopolitical or economic events may occur. I can’t predict the future, but it may be smart to hedge my bets.

I’m curious about your thoughts on this compared to other alternatives to NA-centric stocks for my portfolio. There’s been a lot of hype for XEQT lately, and I see the benefits enough to invest a good chunk into it. But I’m interested to learn more about my options from the perspective of those with more experience and insight.

Thanks for reading.

I’m 35M and sadly have only been investing a few years with Wealthsimple, sadly I never took investing seriously in my 20s.

Originally I was big on Bitcoin and Gold because I liked the idea of “self-custody” of my wealth and was uncertain if we could afford another once-in-a-lifetime bailout like in 08 and COVID. I’m content letting those assets sit for now and am looking to maxing out my TFSA with XEQT because I feel more optimistic about Canada’s finances with Carney in charge (though we still have challenges).

I was investing in a bunch of random stocks at first (mainly Mining companies) and made some decent gains (that outweighed some stinkers). But I don’t have time to monitor stock performance every day or research when I’m busy with life/work. So XEQT is appealing in that I can just shovel money into it and completely forget about it while I collect dividends tax-tree within my TFSA while enjoying growth that beats inflation. However I do have some questions:

1. How exactly is the price determined? The total sum of the 8500 stocks or whatever is way greater than $45. Is there some precise calculation that’s being returned based on the stock’s value? Or is the value of XEQT tied more to the amount of people buying XEQT rather than the stocks themselves?

2. My understanding is that Blackrock controls iShares, which controls XEQT. So is our entire future dependant on Blackrock’s continued success? They’ve done well so far, but if there’s some catastrophic market event that causes their collapse, is there some mechanism that would let XEQT holders retain some value? I realize the world would have larger problems if this happened, and ideally the people picking the stocks would hedge against the individual shares collapsing. But I’m wondering if there’s any built-in consumer protections for this worst-case scenario other than it being too big to fail.

Anyway thanks for reading and feel free to discuss anything you feel is helpful on what I mentioned. The plan is to speedrun 100k into XEQT the next few years in my TFSA and let it sit as long as possible, I just want to be aware of any risks aside from regular market downturns.

I was listening to some song (KMFDM - Adios) where the singer says phrases relating to ‘Goodbye’ in various languages.

The guy writing the lyrics is German, and used ‘auf nimmerwiedersehen’ for the German goodbye, which I googled because my English ears weren’t familiar with the ‘nimmer-‘ part from my very limited German knowledge.

My understanding is that the English translation is something like “Never see you again”. But there might be some grammatical nuance lost in translation.

Is this kind of like an expression/play-on-words in German used in a semi-humorous manner with friends, or something extremely blunt to someone you dislike?

Furthermore, is this phrase even common at all anymore, or just some random expression that’s fallen out of fashion?

Thanks for reading and auf (nimmer)wiedersehen!

Edit: Danke schon for the responses Deutschlanders

I’m trying to solve a little mystery here. At 0:48 of this video:

https://youtu.be/btdAeV-TsUA

You can hear someone talking in the background (like over a PA/speaker or something). Does anyone know what language this is, and what’s being said?

From a story perspective, this should be Russian. However, apparently it’s not Russian nor any nearby Slavic languages from some initial feedback, despite it sounding kind of Slavic to my English ears.

Initially, I was trying to figure out what was sampled in this song at 0:10:

https://youtu.be/PJvPyH8WnMw?si=sDBJR0Lar3VHgoOz

Note this second link is a song from the game’s sequel, and I learned they sampled a random line from the first game. Interestingly, it sounds like the sample here includes more of the dialogue from the same speaker, perhaps providing more context despite the muffled effects.

Thanks for reading and hopefully you can help me solve this mystery! And if you enjoy strategy games, Red Alert is amazing!

Here’s the song for reference.

At 0:10, there’s some dialogue being sampled from somewhere. I can hear “targets along the coast”, which might be an EVA clip from somewhere. Then a man’s voice saying what sounds like “It’s hot in here, let’s go outside, don’t need the sun”. Except the last part sounds very Slavic, so he might actually be speaking in Russian or something.

Do we know where exactly this line comes from? And has the great Frank Klepacki ever gone in-depth about the samples he used back in the day?

Thanks for reading comrades.

I wrote a lot of words here, but a TLDR is at the end.

After a bit of research, it seems the common consensus here is that getting a Masters in something CS-related is overkill and unnecessary, especially if you have prior CS education or experience. While that may be true for many, I’m wondering what your thoughts are on my specific circumstances.

Im 34 and currently working two contract jobs — one as a Frontend developer for a startup (typical WebDev stuff like React, tailwind, NextJS — though I’m working closely with a backend developer who’s using Java so I’m knowledgeable enough about what he’s doing there along with some AWS infra stuff). Second job is for a fullstack role where I’m contributing to an Angular Frontend, Python Backend, plus a bit of AWS management stuff and a ton of random hardware tinkering with Raspberry Pis, PIC32 inverters, and C programs to manage them. So it’s a good mix of technologies and I’m very fortunate to have something in the current economic climate.

The issue is that I’m very insecure about my education background and feel like I’m a step behind everyone and not knowledgeable enough about the foundation of my field. My bosses are a few years younger than me, and while we get along great and they seem to like what I’m doing, it’s slightly humiliating how they’ve made it further than me in life and it makes me wish I had sought out a better path when I was younger.

For context on my specific education and work experience:

2009-2013: Enrolled in bachelor’s of Political Science. Super enthusiastic about the field, but graduated with Bachelor’s of Social Science (3 year degree) because I just wanted to graduate and be done with it. So technically I have a bachelor’s degree, but for a worthless major. Below average grades.

2013-2018: Worked a series of aimless jobs, call centres, cooks, and admin assistant positions. Super depressed and smoked a ton of weed, felt I had wasted my life.

2018-2020: Went back to school for Computer/Network technician diploma. I felt I needed to do something with my life and was ‘good’ at computers so I just picked something random. Graduated with below-average grades. I barely showed up and just wanted the piece of paper.

2020-2023: Had a couple service desk jobs and was absolutely miserable. Quit a decent-paying one because I couldn’t deal with clients, worked some online task-based stuff and fell into another depression.

2024-2025: Earned a diploma in Mobile/Web App development. Knew I needed to do something to push beyond help desk, and coding seemed neat. I took it super seriously and my grades were basically perfect. One of my instructors hooked me up with my current job so I’m grateful the hard work paid off.

Right now: Extremely busy working 50ish hours a week, but it’s from home so that’s fine. Very stressed, but it’s a way better stress than what I’ve dealt with before and doesn’t trigger existential dread. So I think my mind is just suited to the programming/problem-solving aspect of things. However at some point the work might slow down and I’ll be faced with a dilemma of either grinding out some personal projects a brushing up a portfolio, or maybe using some of the money I’ve banked to get a Grad degree.

TLDR: I got into the field a bit older, and my only tech-related education is two separate diplomas (kind of like trade school/community college for US readers). Plus some experience working in the field. I’ve been looking at online Masters programs like WGU and Georgia Tech. I’m wondering if you feel that would be a good way to put myself on par with colleagues with a CS background.

Thanks so much for reading!

I’m not LE, but this question is inspired by this guy I used to work with in a Kitchen.

The guy was obsessed with becoming a cop, “to get back at the people who bullied me”, as he put it. He told everyone he was going to the police academy to train, but when I asked him when he was starting, he said something like “whenever I want to”, which implies he wasn’t actually accepted into anything.

Anyway, one day a cop comes in and orders food, so I’m taking his order and getting it started. The cop seemed mildly pissed off, but was polite enough so all was good.

My aspiring-cop coworker immediately interjects himself, saying something like “You do a great job sir, I’m hoping to wear that uniform alongside you soon”. It sounded nice enough but the actual police officer became immediately pissed off from the remark, being like “You know there’s IQ tests, right? I doubt you could pass those”, along with some other negative snarky stuff.

It sounds really rude but I thought it was hilarious, it’s like the real cop could immediately detect this guy was a clown and treated him like shit because he didn’t want to be associated with him. My aspiring-cop coworker didn’t seem to pick up on the hostility and was just like “Yeah I’m studying hard for the testing — blah blah”. Anyway you get the point.

How would you react in a similar circumstance if someone you’d hate to work with and would be a shit LE told you they were trying to join the force?

As a non-LE, it honesty made me respect the cop a lot to see him be a complete prick to my coworker and shut him down so rudely. Makes me feel better about the hiring standards.

Edit: Some more stories about this coworker that come to mind, because this post is getting some attention and I feel like reminiscing:

- He bought a decommissioned police cruiser model and would drive around the neighborhood “making his presence known” as he put it. I know he went to meetups with people with the same model car, not sure if they were ex-cops or just police ‘enthusiasts’.

- He told me a ‘funny story’ about how he tied his buddy to the hood of his car and drove around the country super fast to ‘prank’ him, with his friends. He was laughing like this was some funny story and I’m thinking wtf this guy is a psycho.

- He’d always pull me aside and show me porn on his phone, like I’d just look over and there’s some chick playing with her tits. Like yeah that’s cool man, go jerk off to that later I don’t want to see this at work with a bunch of sweaty dudes.

- He told me our restaurant doesn’t hire women because one time they hired one, and “she dated my best friend even though she knew I liked her”. Like yeah I wonder why, and you probably shouldn’t admit to violating labor laws.

- I was doing dishes once and pulled out this long metal dish stopper thing that was vaguely dick-shaped and was like “Oh wow, I’ll have fun with this on break”, clearly joking. And he looks at me wide-eyed and says “Dude, you have no idea how gay that sounded!”. Like yes you retard that was the joke.

- He’d always block exits to rooms and tell people he could easily win a fight against them. I was like half a foot taller than him and in better shape so I didn’t care, but a lot of staff always made a point of avoiding being alone with him.

There are other great stories but I’d probably hit the character limit, I’m thankfully out of kitchens now so my coworkers are much less ridiculous.

Edit2: Some more stuff I remember because people asked:

- He had the most bizarre body type I’ve ever seen. He claimed to work out a lot and had an impressive-looking upper-body — chest and arms looked like someone who lifted consistently. But he had this massive fucking beer belly that always was bursting out of his shirt like he was pregnant. And this giant ass and thighs that could barely be contained in his pants. I have no idea what the hell was going on with that fat distribution. And a head that was way too oversized for his body with a massive double-chin and soulless blue eyes. When he spoke to you he’d always do this Kubrick stare before I even knew what that was. Looks-wise I’d describe him as a combination of Kevin James and Buzz Lightyear.

- He’d always slouch on the counters with his giant ass blocking the way, and often would block someone in who didn’t want to ask him to move to avoid talking to him. So they’d just stay where they are and take a picture of his giant ass as a way to say “I want to move but I can’t right now”. I used to get like dozens of these sent to me every week when I worked there, my phone was full of pictures of this guy’s ass taking up my iCloud storage.

- A big reason no one wanted to talk to him is because everything would lead to him getting pissy and turn anything into a confrontation. I’d be like “Hey man, we’ve got a bunch of chicken tickets coming in so make sure we’re good there”. And he’d be like “What’s the matter bud, don’t think I can do my job?” and get all huffy. So then people just stopped telling him things, and he would then get upset when he fell behind because “No one told me about this”.

- Every time I closed with him, he’d either dick around washing a counter in the corner the whole time, or would order a bunch of food right before we closed the grills and spend a bunch of time preparing it while we closed. Then he would sulk around when people were cold to him and post passive-aggressive posts on Facebook after work about how he isn’t appreciated. Not sure what his deal was there.

- He would come in on his days off and ‘inspect’ the restaurant to make sure everything is running fine. If there was a new person, he would keep quizzing them about everything and be like “I’m checking in with the rookie to make sure they can handle it”. Like okay man, you’re not a supervisor and you’re not on the schedule, go drive your fake cop car around instead.

- We hired this cute girl for front of house, and he would always pull her aside after her shift and show her random things about how the grills worked and how to drain the fryers. I’d be like “yeah you don’t need to worry about any of this it’s not your job”, and he’d get super pissed and insistent he had to show her every goddamn mechanical system in the restaurant.

I’m actually on a roll with stories about this guy and could write more, but my phone is low battery and I have actual work to do right now other than share stories about my favorite coworker. Maybe I’ll add more later but I realize I’m straying greatly from the initial question here.

TLDR: Ignoring the giant essay about my fine former kitchen coworker, how would you react if someone you’d hate to work with and would be a poor LE told you they were trying to join the force?

I admit I watch like 10-20 minutes of DSP every few months because it’s mildly entertaining to see this middle-aged man struggle with basic problem-solving and object permanence, self-inducing a mental breakdown every stream with an unparalleled ability to blame everyone but himself.

Unlike other lol cows, I feel Phil is neurotypical enough that I don’t feel like a bad person for finding joy in his struggles. He’s just an extremely dumb and whiney man-child that provides some entertainment value, and I don’t feel like a bad person for finding joy in his struggles.

While it provides some entertainment, there’s no way in hell I’d ever donate to this clown even if I had all the money in the world to support his Uber Eats bills.

Are people donating just to further milk the lol cow, or does he have actual supporters that genuinely enjoy his streams and hanging out with their favourite wholesome internet celebrity? I don’t pay close enough attention to his chat to grasp the pulse of his ‘fanbase’.

And Phil, if you’re reading this. Never change and please continue streaming forever. The haters don’t know what they’re talking about, and you’re doing just fine in health and happiness. We’re all just jealous of your physique and wish we could make a living playing video games poorly for 12 hours a day.