u/Acrobatic_Guidance84

Hi,
For about a year a part has been leaving me the same “riddle” in our notebook, every time the same thing. After a long time I figured out the clues pointed to a teacher we had when we were 13/14, but I still couldn’t figure out what it meant. This kept going on.

A couple of days ago a friend (we already knew her when we were 12) came over and at some point she asked me if she could ask me something about that teacher because she had always had her worries and suspicions but I never talked about it and she never asked because she was afraid it would be too painful.

I still cannot really remember what happened with that teacher, but my friend told me some things she had noticed that worried her and later that night some fragmented memories came to me.
It makes sense now why that part wanted to tell someone but was afraid to. She was all alone with this issue and had to keep it secret.

Ever since I’ve been blendy and very anxious, ashamed, angry, tired, upset, everything.

I am also a bit overwhelmed by this information. How can I help Lola (nickname for this part)?

Hi everyone,

I’m very new to gaming. So far, I’ve found out I like metroidbrainia / adjacent games. They give me something to really think about and keep my head busy in a good way, whilst still kind of relaxing (also , bonus that I’m sitting down as I’m hyperactive but also chronically ill, so this has been a big hit).

I loved outer wilds, chants of sennaar, blue prince. Currently working on a sherlock game, which is ok. I also finished the forgotten city which was nice.

Now I’m looking for a new game. However: I have PTSD.
Combat, fight scenes/torture/SA/gunshots etc trigger me.

I was hoping to find a new game that kind of fits the metroidbrainia / adjacent vibe, but doesn’t contain much of the triggers as it is kind of .. not nice to get triggered.
Of course I could just try, but it would be a bit of a bummer to spend money on getting triggered.

So if any of you has some time to spare and know a nice game without violence, and would be willing to recommend me something, I would be endlessly grateful.

Thank you in advance for reading, thinking, respecting my vulnerability here and possibly recommending!

Hi,

Sorry if this isn’t the right sub.

I am very new to gaming and I LOVED COS. I enjoy mystery/puzzle games (also enjoy puzzle boxes and games like the room), but mostly when the puzzle isn’t explained and you really have to find out what the system is, what the rules are, how the rules apply to the system, etc.

So COS was a big hit for me, and I was wondering if any of you have recommendations for other games? I would greatly appreciate it. :)

Hi,

I just recently started gaming.
Does anyone have recommendations on mystery/puzzle type games for playstation? I don’t really enjoy the “1+1=2”-type games (easy,logical deduction). I really do enjoy the “have to figure out what the rules/mechanism is , find out the rules and then apply them in unexpected ways” if you know what I mean?

Examples of games I really enjoyed:
- chants of sennaar (current favourite)
- viewfinder
- the room

I also enjoy puzzleboxes (i.e. cluebox).

Does anyone have recommendations? Still pretty new to the gaming world :)

Hey,

I know you should NOT manually rotate a GJ.

However, I’ve noticed that when I change positions (i.e. turning on my side when trying to sleep) , the button turns. Sometimes just a few degrees, sometimes 45 degrees, I’ve even had it turn about 90 degrees . When I do eat orally (I have oral intake “for fun” and am basically completely fed through the tube, but sometimes eating is worth the symptoms) it also tends to twist a bit. It does this on its own. It doesn’t just spin and move fast/repeatedly or somethibg, it kind of gets pulled into a different position.
I also feel like maybe when I change my position when i.e. lying down, the tube is a little too long and maybe that causes movement too?

Is this bad? And if so: how do I prevent it?
If the tube moves on its own, should I keep it like that or should I put it back to original position?

Sorry for the very many and possibly dumb questions, still a little new to buttons

Hi everyone,

About 1,5 years ago I started tube feeds because I was severely underweight and malnourished. After half a year we switched from NJ to GJ. The tube feeds literally saved me and I am so grateful to have access to it and have gained weight & be functional and feel like myself again!!!

However, a couple of weeks ago I was moving (to different house) so I lost some weight because of being more active + ran a little less feeds because moving furniture and doing the work in the house is not the best while running feeds (too scared to get stuck and pull it out).
After the most heavy work was done, I started running more feeds per day (discussed with my dietitian) to compensate for the lost calories. This has been about 2 weeks now.
However, even though I am not nauseous or vomiting or something ánd running more feeds than usual, my weight is still steadily dropping. Not as fast as before, but still gradually getting lower.

I am coming close to being underweight again and notice I’m much more tired and I have no idea why this is happening or what to do?
Has anyone else experienced this? How did you fix it?

Hey,

I know everyone is different, but I started “seeing my symptoms” about 1,5 years ago. My therapists were already suspecting for about half a year but I kept denying it and didn’t want to even look into it. Now for the past 1,5/1 year I’ve been trying to open up to it, started seeing my symptoms (sometimes noticing more, sometimes less, sometimes curious, sometimes in denial, you know the drill), getting to know some parts, etc.

I just keep thinking I am either so far behind on my process or sometimes I think I know TOO much and am faking.

So I was just wondering: at what point were you about 1 / 1.5 years in?

Hi,

I have a GJ button. When I flush the J-port, I don’t feel much (except for some cramping if I flush too quickly or some bubbling in my small intestine). But when I flush my G port, I can feel it in my throat. Does anyone else have this? Does anyone know why?

Hi,

I’ve been trying to quit smoking for about a week now. I’m very motivated and even though I want the stress and withdrawal to stop, I know quitting is the only way through and I don’t want to smoke.

However, the stress has caused more switching and more ptsd symptoms, legs temporarily not functioning (conversion like), mood swings, increased urge to engage in self destructive behaviour, etc. (I am safe and no intention to act on the urges, no worries).

I know not smoking is the only way this will eventually get better. But it has happened about 2 times now I have suddenly found a packet of cigarettes again or notice my breath and hands smell of smoke. I guess some parts don’t want to quit or aren’t aware or cannot cope otherwise.

I am still at fairly early stages of building communication in my system (and still getting to know the system). This makes this so complicated and difficult.

Does anyone have experience with quitting smoking or another addiction? How did you manage? Any tips/tricks?

Hi everyone,

I had my first GJ button placed today.

I flushed it and afterwards water leaked out of the valve (j-port). This stops when I hook up my feeds or put the cap on, but starts when its uncovered.

I also think the J-tip has ALREADY migrated to my stomach, but I’ll check again tomorrow morning and call the hospital.

Has anyone else had this? Is it bad?(the leaking valve part, I know a flipped tube is a problem haha)

Hi all,

I had a peg-j(or gj? English is not my first language. It has an internal fixation disc) placed september last year. It broke last friday. The doctor managed to fix it temporarily and put me on the schedule to have it switched tomorrow. I will be getting a GJ button (mic key).

Does anyone have any tips or advice for the switch? I am looking forward to it! But I want to be prepared for any things I should be aware of :)

Hello,

I am not sure if this is the right sub to post this in, but I am in need of some advice.

Due to depression my oral hygiene has been bad. There have been quite a few days where even getting out of bed to get something to drink was unmanageable, let alone brush my teeth. I know it sounds dumb and pathetic, but thats the way it is/was for me. Brushing my teeth and going to the dentist and anything that requires putting something in my mouth is also a big ptsd trigger for me, which makes it even harder.

I have an appointment at the dentist planned in a couple of weeks. I am super anxious because I know they will tell me off about my mental hygiene and that’s fair because it’s just something I should be able to manage as an adult. Also the ptsd thing doesn’t help.

Does anyone have advice on how to manage this? And how to make brushing teeth etc more manageable? Other things I can do for my dental hygiene?
I am in therapy of course, but I would like advice from a dental professional.

I know this sounds pathetic and I am very ashamed, but I really am trying. And hoping it’ll get better soon and trying to find ways to make it work in the mean time.
If you have read this, thank you for reading. I hope you have a good day.

Hi!

My therapist suggested we will focus on our gatekeeper next session. This is because recently the walls went up again, amnesia and switching got worse, I have been having a lot of physical pain issues I don’t know the cause of, etc.

It makes me anxious to not know why the walls went up and what happens in the time I’m losing. There’s also been more sabotage in therapy than lately and overall it’s a bit of a stressful time because of these things.

I understand my therapist wants to try to work with the gatekeeper to find out why, but it makes me anxious. I want to know why this is happening more, but I’m not sure I want to know. Because I don’t know whats there, if that makes sense?
Also, working with the gatekeeper is … complicated for us. We know there is a gatekeeper, but that’s about it. We forget things, thoughts get blocked out, parts get inaccessible, etc. But I cannot communicate with the gatekeeper yet.

Does anyone have advice and experience with this?
I obviously don’t want to force anything. Just try to approach it with curiosity and without pressure.

Hi all,

Sorry about this post. Just having a bad couple of days and need to vent. I don’t really have anyone who understand (except for my therapists).

I am just so tired. My nights have consisted of fighting sleep, nightmares and dissociation for as long as I can remember. Today the weather is amazing and this morning I decided to go for a walk today and read a book in the sun by the river. Now it’s over 10 hours later and I still haven’t been outside. I had the groceries delivered because I couldn’t get myself to go out. I lied to my boyfriend about getting them delivered because I am too ashamed.
I have been wanting to text a friend to go for a drink somewhere soon, but the mere thought of social contact and public places frightens me.
I keep getting flashbacks and dissociating and just spend my day trying to do something but everything overwhelms me.

Everyone asks me “How do you do it?” Because I am fortunate enough to have a job. That is the only thing in my life that comes easily to me. I am like a different person there. No one knows how much I struggle with every other little thing. I am even too ashamed to admit it to my therapist.

Everyone asks me how I do it. I ask myself the same question. I mostly wonder for how long I can still keep this up. I am so tired. So scared all the time. So lost.

Sorry about this negativity, just needed to vent somewhere.

I hope your day was gentle. Wishing you love.❤️

Hi all,

Sorry about this post. Just having a bad couple of days and need to vent. I don’t really have anyone who understand (except for my therapists).

I am just so tired. My nights have consisted of fighting sleep, nightmares and dissociation for as long as I can remember. Today the weather is amazing and this morning I decided to go for a walk today and read a book in the sun by the river. Now it’s over 10 hours later and I still haven’t been outside. I had the groceries delivered because I couldn’t get myself to go out. I lied to my boyfriend about getting them delivered because I am too ashamed.
I have been wanting to text a friend to go for a drink somewhere soon, but the mere thought of social contact and public places frightens me.
I keep getting flashbacks and dissociating and just spend my day trying to do something but everything overwhelms me.

Everyone asks me “How do you do it?” Because I am fortunate enough to have a job. That is the only thing in my life that comes easily to me. I am like a different person there. No one knows how much I struggle with every other little thing. I am even too ashamed to admit it to my therapist.

Everyone asks me how I do it. I ask myself the same question. I mostly wonder for how long I can still keep this up. I am so tired. So scared all the time. So lost.

Sorry about this negativity, just needed to vent somewhere.

I hope your day was gentle. Wishing you love.❤️

Hi! Just something I wanted to share:

For a long time there was basically NO contact with littles during therapy sessions, just protectors and “daily parts” (ANPs).
Something seems to have shifted and over the past week we’ve had two therapy sessions (different therapists). During both sessions, a little fronted. First session, E (4 years old) fronted and the second session S (5 years old) fronted. According to my therapists they both were really scared and confused at first, but calmed down and were curious and playful later.

I have found several drawings they made since then. All of them are centred around their experiences during the sessions and how much they liked the therapist and stuff they got to play with etc.
I have even managed to get a few very brief moments of co-con with them since this happened!!!

Even though I am kind of ashamed for switching, I am also so glad they had such a positive experience and that they got to feel safe for a moment. So grateful for my therapists. And so proud of the littles as well!!♥️