Something strange keeps happening every time I try to AP. Need help understanding where I am on this journey.
So I'm someone with a very active mind. Meditation is genuinely hard for me even though I conceptually understand things like ego, consciousness, and altered states pretty well. I got curious about astral projection just to experience what it actually is firsthand.
I tried a few times using random AP frequency videos on YouTube — standard stuff, trying to relax, nothing worked. My mind would race with a thousand thoughts and I'd just give up.
**Then something weird started happening.**
One day I was using a Monroe Gateway tape (not claiming this is AP, I genuinely don't know what it is). I never fell asleep — I'm certain of that. But somehow, without any clear transition, I found myself inside what I can only describe as a vivid, running storyline just like a dream but like I said I never fell asleep and it was middle of the day. Random people from my past or present, completely normal narrative, no warning signs.
Then, within a few minutes, the story would shift in a very specific way — and I'd get hit with one of the most intense fear responses I've ever felt. Different fears each time, but always escalating to something that felt like my absolute worst. Then I'd snap back, fully awake.
This has happened 4 times now. Always the exact same pattern:
- Random, normal storyline with familiar people
- No hint of anything unusual for a few minutes
- Situation escalates in a way that triggers my deepest fears
- Snap back wide awake
What's unsettling is how *precise* it feels. Like whatever process is happening knows exactly what will trigger me and how. It doesn't feel random at all.
I'm not sure if I'm on the right track, completely off track, or if something else entirely is happening here. I'd really appreciate if anyone with experience could shed some light — what is this? Is this part of the process? Is something going wrong?
(Used AI to help format this — the experience and words are fully mine)