u/AdVarious4063

I’m 22F from India, and I’m curious how other Indian women deal with the point where your parents have genuinely supported you a lot, but you start wanting a level of independence that they aren’t necessarily comfortable with.
For context, I’m an interior design student and I’ve always been academically serious. My parents pushed me to study hard, build a career and do well, and I’m genuinely grateful for that.
Recently, I got selected for a short-term internship/research program in Taiwan. I applied myself, went through the application process, submitted my portfolio/SOP, interviewed with the professor, etc. It is largely funded and I’m also receiving financial support/stipend, although I still have to pay for some things myself like airfare, insurance, personal expenses and other travel costs.
My parents allowed me to go, and I genuinely appreciate that. But now I’m noticing something that I’m finding difficult to reconcile.
Whenever I find another scholarship, internship, competition, exchange program or funded opportunity and want to apply, the response is along the lines of:
“We already allowed you to go to Taiwan. Don’t take advantage of it.”
I’m not asking them to fund every opportunity. In fact, I’m specifically trying to find scholarships and funded programs so I can pay for things myself.
But I don’t understand why applying for opportunities itself is considered “taking advantage.”
If I apply and don’t get it, nothing happens.
If I get a fully funded opportunity, why shouldn’t I take it?
And if something requires money that I can’t afford, then I can decide whether it’s worth saving for or not.
The bigger issue for me is that I’m 22 and I really want to experience the world before marriage.
Not because I think marriage is inherently bad. I just don’t know what my life will look like after marriage.
I don’t know who I’ll marry.
I don’t know whether he’ll enjoy travelling.
I don’t know what his career will require.
I don’t know whether we’ll have children quickly.
I don’t know whether we’ll have the same financial freedom.
So when my family says:
“You can travel later with your husband.”
I honestly struggle with that.
Why does my ability to travel have to depend on a future husband who doesn’t even exist in my life yet?
I want to travel while I’m young. I want to experience different countries, cultures and ways of living. I want to sometimes travel with friends and eventually travel solo. I want to have experiences that are mine, not things I postponed until marriage.
And I don’t want to spend my twenties thinking:
“I’ll do it later.”
Because “later” can become 30, then 35, then kids, then responsibilities, then suddenly you’ve spent your entire youth waiting for the appropriate time.
Another thing that really made me think about this happened when my brother was looking at girls for an arranged marriage.
My family was discussing different girls and things like whether they had jobs, whether they had stayed in hostels, what kind of lifestyle they had, etc.
There was one girl they were considering, but things were apparently cancelled because she had gone to Thailand with her friends.
That really stuck with me.
Because I was sitting there thinking:
You want ME to study hard, build a career and become capable and independent.
But when evaluating a woman as a potential wife for your son, suddenly travelling with friends or being very independent can become a negative?
And I’ve noticed another contradiction.
My family encourages me to focus on my career, but they seem to prefer that I eventually do something like a family business rather than have a conventional job because it keeps me more “in check” or connected to the family.
I understand where some of this comes from.
They’re concerned about safety. They’re traditional. They’re worried about society. They probably genuinely believe they’re protecting me.
And I don’t want to portray them as terrible parents.
They have actually done a lot for me.
They invested in my education.
They pushed me academically.
They allowed me to go to Taiwan.
They want me to have a successful career.
I’m very aware that many Indian girls don’t get even that much freedom.
That’s also why I feel conflicted about complaining.
But does their support mean that I’ve now used up my “quota” of freedom?
Is there an invisible limit where I’m allowed to be independent as long as I’m independent in ways that my family approves of?
I’m not looking to rebel against my parents. I don’t want to hurt them or disrespect them.
I just want to gradually become an adult who can make decisions about her own life.
And I don’t want marriage to be the thing that finally gives me permission to do things that I’m already capable of doing now.
I’d really like to hear from other Indian women:
Did your parents become more restrictive once you reached your twenties?
Did getting a job/financial independence actually make things easier?
How did you negotiate international travel or living abroad?
Have you experienced the “you can do it after marriage” argument?
And if your parents supported your education but still expected you to follow certain traditional boundaries, how did you establish your own boundaries without completely destroying the relationship?
I’m especially interested in hearing from women who went through this transition themselves.
Am I being unreasonable, or is this just the uncomfortable stage of becoming an independent adult in a fairly traditional family?

I’m a 22-year-old girl from India, and I’m honestly trying to understand whether I’m being unreasonable or whether this is just a very common family dynamic.
For some background, I’m an interior design student and I’ve always taken my studies and career pretty seriously. My parents have also always pushed me academically. They made sure I studied hard, got good grades, focused on my career, etc. So it’s not like they have ever been against me studying or becoming successful.
Recently, I got selected for a \*\*short-term internship/research program in Taiwan\*\*. It’s through a university program and I had to apply, submit my CV, SOP, portfolio, interview with the professor, etc. The program is largely funded, and I’m getting a stipend/support, although there are still expenses I have to pay myself such as airfare, insurance, visa-related costs, some accommodation/transportation and personal expenses.
My parents and older siblings initially allowed me to go, which I’m genuinely grateful for. But now whenever I find another scholarship, competition, internship, exchange program, summer school, etc. and want to apply, the response is basically:
\*\*“We already allowed you to go to Taiwan. Don’t take advantage of it.”\*\*
And I’m struggling to understand this mentality.
I’m not asking them to continuously finance international travel. In fact, I’m actively looking for scholarships and funded programs precisely because I want to pay for as much as possible myself. If something is fully funded or mostly funded, why \*wouldn’t\* I apply?
It’s not like I’m randomly asking to go on expensive vacations every few months. These are opportunities connected to my education, portfolio, career and international exposure.
And there is another layer to this.
I’m 22, and I’m a girl. I know that eventually there will probably be expectations around marriage. I personally want to experience as much of the world as I can \*\*before marriage\*\*, because I have no idea what my life circumstances will be afterwards.
I want to travel solo at least sometimes. I want to explore different countries. I want to experience living somewhere unfamiliar. I want to build a career and become independent. I want to look back when I’m older and know that I actually did things instead of constantly saying “maybe later.”
But my family’s response is often basically:
\*\*“You can travel later with your husband.”\*\*
And that honestly bothers me.
Why does marriage have to be the point at which I become “allowed” to travel?
What if I want to see Taiwan at 22? Or Japan at 23? Or Europe at 25? Why does the assumption have to be that I should wait until some hypothetical future husband appears?
I also recently saw a very different side of my family while my brother was looking at girls for an arranged marriage.
There was a girl they were considering, and my family started discussing things like whether she had a job, whether she had stayed in a hostel, what kind of lifestyle she had, whether she travelled with friends, etc.
At one point, they actually rejected/cancelled things with a girl because she had travelled to \*\*Thailand with her friends\*\*.
That really made me think.
Because on one hand, I’m constantly told:
\*\*“Focus on your studies.”\*\*
\*\*“Build your career.”\*\*
\*\*“Become successful.”\*\*
\*\*“Do something with your life.”\*\*
But when a woman actually starts becoming independent, travelling, staying away from home, working, making her own decisions or having experiences outside the family, suddenly those same things can become negatives when evaluating her as a potential wife.
And my parents sometimes seem to want me to pursue business rather than a conventional job because, in their words/logic, running a business would keep me more “in check” or connected to the family.
I understand that they are probably thinking about safety, culture, marriage, reputation and what they believe is best for me. And I know I’m privileged because they have supported my education and have allowed me to do things that many Indian girls aren’t allowed to do.
That’s actually why I feel guilty even complaining.
They \*did\* let me go to Taiwan.
They \*did\* invest in my education.
They \*do\* want me to have a successful career.
They aren’t completely against me travelling.
But it feels like there is an invisible limit:
\*\*“You can have independence, but only up to the amount we decide is appropriate.”\*\*
And now that I’m discovering opportunities myself, I feel like every opportunity becomes a negotiation about whether I’m “taking advantage” of the freedom I was given.
I don’t want to rebel just for the sake of rebelling. I genuinely want to build an international career, travel, learn, meet people from different cultures and experience life while I’m young.
I also don’t want my entire future to be:
study → career → marriage → travel with husband → family responsibilities.
Maybe I’m being naive, but I want some experiences that are \*\*mine\*\*, before I potentially become someone’s wife and have completely different responsibilities.
So I’m curious about other people’s experiences, especially Indians/people from similar cultures:
\*\*How do you deal with parents who support your education and career but become restrictive when that independence starts involving travel, living abroad, or making your own decisions?\*\*
And where is the line between being grateful for what your parents have given you and allowing that gratitude to become a permanent obligation to live according to their expectations?
I’d genuinely like perspectives from both sides, including people who think I’m being unreasonable.

TLDR I’m a 22-year-old girl from India, and I’m honestly trying to understand whether I’m being unreasonable or whether this is just a very common family dynamic.
For some background, I’m an interior design student and I’ve always taken my studies and career pretty seriously. My parents have also always pushed me academically. They made sure I studied hard, got good grades, focused on my career, etc. So it’s not like they have ever been against me studying or becoming successful.
Recently, I got selected for a **short-term internship/research program in Taiwan**. It’s through a university program and I had to apply, submit my CV, SOP, portfolio, interview with the professor, etc. The program is largely funded, and I’m getting a stipend/support, although there are still expenses I have to pay myself such as airfare, insurance, visa-related costs, some accommodation/transportation and personal expenses.
My parents and older siblings initially allowed me to go, which I’m genuinely grateful for. But now whenever I find another scholarship, competition, internship, exchange program, summer school, etc. and want to apply, the response is basically:
**“We already allowed you to go to Taiwan. Don’t take advantage of it.”**
And I’m struggling to understand this mentality.
I’m not asking them to continuously finance international travel. In fact, I’m actively looking for scholarships and funded programs precisely because I want to pay for as much as possible myself. If something is fully funded or mostly funded, why *wouldn’t* I apply?
It’s not like I’m randomly asking to go on expensive vacations every few months. These are opportunities connected to my education, portfolio, career and international exposure.
And there is another layer to this.
I’m 22, and I’m a girl. I know that eventually there will probably be expectations around marriage. I personally want to experience as much of the world as I can **before marriage**, because I have no idea what my life circumstances will be afterwards.
I want to travel solo at least sometimes. I want to explore different countries. I want to experience living somewhere unfamiliar. I want to build a career and become independent. I want to look back when I’m older and know that I actually did things instead of constantly saying “maybe later.”
But my family’s response is often basically:
**“You can travel later with your husband.”**
And that honestly bothers me.
Why does marriage have to be the point at which I become “allowed” to travel?
What if I want to see Taiwan at 22? Or Japan at 23? Or Europe at 25? Why does the assumption have to be that I should wait until some hypothetical future husband appears?
I also recently saw a very different side of my family while my brother was looking at girls for an arranged marriage.
There was a girl they were considering, and my family started discussing things like whether she had a job, whether she had stayed in a hostel, what kind of lifestyle she had, whether she travelled with friends, etc.
At one point, they actually rejected/cancelled things with a girl because she had travelled to **Thailand with her friends**.
That really made me think.
Because on one hand, I’m constantly told:
**“Focus on your studies.”**
**“Build your career.”**
**“Become successful.”**
**“Do something with your life.”**
But when a woman actually starts becoming independent, travelling, staying away from home, working, making her own decisions or having experiences outside the family, suddenly those same things can become negatives when evaluating her as a potential wife.
And my parents sometimes seem to want me to pursue business rather than a conventional job because, in their words/logic, running a business would keep me more “in check” or connected to the family.
I understand that they are probably thinking about safety, culture, marriage, reputation and what they believe is best for me. And I know I’m privileged because they have supported my education and have allowed me to do things that many Indian girls aren’t allowed to do.
That’s actually why I feel guilty even complaining.
They *did* let me go to Taiwan.
They *did* invest in my education.
They *do* want me to have a successful career.
They aren’t completely against me travelling.
But it feels like there is an invisible limit:
**“You can have independence, but only up to the amount we decide is appropriate.”**
And now that I’m discovering opportunities myself, I feel like every opportunity becomes a negotiation about whether I’m “taking advantage” of the freedom I was given.
I don’t want to rebel just for the sake of rebelling. I genuinely want to build an international career, travel, learn, meet people from different cultures and experience life while I’m young.
I also don’t want my entire future to be:
study → career → marriage → travel with husband → family responsibilities.
Maybe I’m being naive, but I want some experiences that are **mine**, before I potentially become someone’s wife and have completely different responsibilities.
So I’m curious about other people’s experiences, especially Indians/people from similar cultures:
**How do you deal with parents who support your education and career but become restrictive when that independence starts involving travel, living abroad, or making your own decisions?**
And where is the line between being grateful for what your parents have given you and allowing that gratitude to become a permanent obligation to live according to their expectations?
I’d genuinely like perspectives from both sides, including people who think I’m being unreasonable.

I’m a 22-year-old girl from India, and I’m honestly trying to understand whether I’m being unreasonable or whether this is just a very common family dynamic.
For some background, I’m an interior design student and I’ve always taken my studies and career pretty seriously. My parents have also always pushed me academically. They made sure I studied hard, got good grades, focused on my career, etc. So it’s not like they have ever been against me studying or becoming successful.
Recently, I got selected for a \*\*short-term internship/research program in Taiwan\*\*. It’s through a university program and I had to apply, submit my CV, SOP, portfolio, interview with the professor, etc. The program is largely funded, and I’m getting a stipend/support, although there are still expenses I have to pay myself such as airfare, insurance, visa-related costs, some accommodation/transportation and personal expenses.
My parents and older siblings initially allowed me to go, which I’m genuinely grateful for. But now whenever I find another scholarship, competition, internship, exchange program, summer school, etc. and want to apply, the response is basically:
\*\*“We already allowed you to go to Taiwan. Don’t take advantage of it.”\*\*
And I’m struggling to understand this mentality.
I’m not asking them to continuously finance international travel. In fact, I’m actively looking for scholarships and funded programs precisely because I want to pay for as much as possible myself. If something is fully funded or mostly funded, why \*wouldn’t\* I apply?
It’s not like I’m randomly asking to go on expensive vacations every few months. These are opportunities connected to my education, portfolio, career and international exposure.
And there is another layer to this.
I’m 22, and I’m a girl. I know that eventually there will probably be expectations around marriage. I personally want to experience as much of the world as I can \*\*before marriage\*\*, because I have no idea what my life circumstances will be afterwards.
I want to travel solo at least sometimes. I want to explore different countries. I want to experience living somewhere unfamiliar. I want to build a career and become independent. I want to look back when I’m older and know that I actually did things instead of constantly saying “maybe later.”
But my family’s response is often basically:
\*\*“You can travel later with your husband.”\*\*
And that honestly bothers me.
Why does marriage have to be the point at which I become “allowed” to travel?
What if I want to see Taiwan at 22? Or Japan at 23? Or Europe at 25? Why does the assumption have to be that I should wait until some hypothetical future husband appears?
I also recently saw a very different side of my family while my brother was looking at girls for an arranged marriage.
There was a girl they were considering, and my family started discussing things like whether she had a job, whether she had stayed in a hostel, what kind of lifestyle she had, whether she travelled with friends, etc.
At one point, they actually rejected/cancelled things with a girl because she had travelled to \*\*Thailand with her friends\*\*.
That really made me think.
Because on one hand, I’m constantly told:
\*\*“Focus on your studies.”\*\*
\*\*“Build your career.”\*\*
\*\*“Become successful.”\*\*
\*\*“Do something with your life.”\*\*
But when a woman actually starts becoming independent, travelling, staying away from home, working, making her own decisions or having experiences outside the family, suddenly those same things can become negatives when evaluating her as a potential wife.
And my parents sometimes seem to want me to pursue business rather than a conventional job because, in their words/logic, running a business would keep me more “in check” or connected to the family.
I understand that they are probably thinking about safety, culture, marriage, reputation and what they believe is best for me. And I know I’m privileged because they have supported my education and have allowed me to do things that many Indian girls aren’t allowed to do.
That’s actually why I feel guilty even complaining.
They \*did\* let me go to Taiwan.
They \*did\* invest in my education.
They \*do\* want me to have a successful career.
They aren’t completely against me travelling.
But it feels like there is an invisible limit:
\*\*“You can have independence, but only up to the amount we decide is appropriate.”\*\*
And now that I’m discovering opportunities myself, I feel like every opportunity becomes a negotiation about whether I’m “taking advantage” of the freedom I was given.
I don’t want to rebel just for the sake of rebelling. I genuinely want to build an international career, travel, learn, meet people from different cultures and experience life while I’m young.
I also don’t want my entire future to be:
study → career → marriage → travel with husband → family responsibilities.
Maybe I’m being naive, but I want some experiences that are \*\*mine\*\*, before I potentially become someone’s wife and have completely different responsibilities.
So I’m curious about other people’s experiences, especially Indians/people from similar cultures:
\*\*How do you deal with parents who support your education and career but become restrictive when that independence starts involving travel, living abroad, or making your own decisions?\*\*
And where is the line between being grateful for what your parents have given you and allowing that gratitude to become a permanent obligation to live according to their expectations?
I’d genuinely like perspectives from both sides, including people who think I’m being unreasonable.

I’m a 22-year-old girl from India, and I’m honestly trying to understand whether I’m being unreasonable or whether this is just a very common family dynamic.
For some background, I’m an interior design student and I’ve always taken my studies and career pretty seriously. My parents have also always pushed me academically. They made sure I studied hard, got good grades, focused on my career, etc. So it’s not like they have ever been against me studying or becoming successful.
Recently, I got selected for a **short-term internship/research program in Taiwan**. It’s through a university program and I had to apply, submit my CV, SOP, portfolio, interview with the professor, etc. The program is largely funded, and I’m getting a stipend/support, although there are still expenses I have to pay myself such as airfare, insurance, visa-related costs, some accommodation/transportation and personal expenses.
My parents and older siblings initially allowed me to go, which I’m genuinely grateful for. But now whenever I find another scholarship, competition, internship, exchange program, summer school, etc. and want to apply, the response is basically:
**“We already allowed you to go to Taiwan. Don’t take advantage of it.”**
And I’m struggling to understand this mentality.
I’m not asking them to continuously finance international travel. In fact, I’m actively looking for scholarships and funded programs precisely because I want to pay for as much as possible myself. If something is fully funded or mostly funded, why *wouldn’t* I apply?
It’s not like I’m randomly asking to go on expensive vacations every few months. These are opportunities connected to my education, portfolio, career and international exposure.
And there is another layer to this.
I’m 22, and I’m a girl. I know that eventually there will probably be expectations around marriage. I personally want to experience as much of the world as I can **before marriage**, because I have no idea what my life circumstances will be afterwards.
I want to travel solo at least sometimes. I want to explore different countries. I want to experience living somewhere unfamiliar. I want to build a career and become independent. I want to look back when I’m older and know that I actually did things instead of constantly saying “maybe later.”
But my family’s response is often basically:
**“You can travel later with your husband.”**
And that honestly bothers me.
Why does marriage have to be the point at which I become “allowed” to travel?
What if I want to see Taiwan at 22? Or Japan at 23? Or Europe at 25? Why does the assumption have to be that I should wait until some hypothetical future husband appears?
I also recently saw a very different side of my family while my brother was looking at girls for an arranged marriage.
There was a girl they were considering, and my family started discussing things like whether she had a job, whether she had stayed in a hostel, what kind of lifestyle she had, whether she travelled with friends, etc.
At one point, they actually rejected/cancelled things with a girl because she had travelled to **Thailand with her friends**.
That really made me think.
Because on one hand, I’m constantly told:
**“Focus on your studies.”**
**“Build your career.”**
**“Become successful.”**
**“Do something with your life.”**
But when a woman actually starts becoming independent, travelling, staying away from home, working, making her own decisions or having experiences outside the family, suddenly those same things can become negatives when evaluating her as a potential wife.
And my parents sometimes seem to want me to pursue business rather than a conventional job because, in their words/logic, running a business would keep me more “in check” or connected to the family.
I understand that they are probably thinking about safety, culture, marriage, reputation and what they believe is best for me. And I know I’m privileged because they have supported my education and have allowed me to do things that many Indian girls aren’t allowed to do.
That’s actually why I feel guilty even complaining.
They *did* let me go to Taiwan.
They *did* invest in my education.
They *do* want me to have a successful career.
They aren’t completely against me travelling.
But it feels like there is an invisible limit:
**“You can have independence, but only up to the amount we decide is appropriate.”**
And now that I’m discovering opportunities myself, I feel like every opportunity becomes a negotiation about whether I’m “taking advantage” of the freedom I was given.
I don’t want to rebel just for the sake of rebelling. I genuinely want to build an international career, travel, learn, meet people from different cultures and experience life while I’m young.
I also don’t want my entire future to be:
study → career → marriage → travel with husband → family responsibilities.
Maybe I’m being naive, but I want some experiences that are **mine**, before I potentially become someone’s wife and have completely different responsibilities.
So I’m curious about other people’s experiences, especially Indians/people from similar cultures:
**How do you deal with parents who support your education and career but become restrictive when that independence starts involving travel, living abroad, or making your own decisions?**
And where is the line between being grateful for what your parents have given you and allowing that gratitude to become a permanent obligation to live according to their expectations?
I’d genuinely like perspectives from both sides, including people who think I’m being unreasonable.

I’m a 22-year-old girl from India, and I’m honestly trying to understand whether I’m being unreasonable or whether this is just a very common family dynamic.
For some background, I’m an interior design student and I’ve always taken my studies and career pretty seriously. My parents have also always pushed me academically. They made sure I studied hard, got good grades, focused on my career, etc. So it’s not like they have ever been against me studying or becoming successful.
Recently, I got selected for a short-term internship/research program in Taiwan. It’s through a university program and I had to apply, submit my CV, SOP, portfolio, interview with the professor, etc. The program is largely funded, and I’m getting a stipend/support, although there are still expenses I have to pay myself such as airfare, insurance, visa-related costs, some accommodation/transportation and personal expenses.
My parents and older siblings initially allowed me to go, which I’m genuinely grateful for. But now whenever I find another scholarship, competition, internship, exchange program, summer school, etc. and want to apply, the response is basically:
“We already allowed you to go to Taiwan. Don’t take advantage of it.”
And I’m struggling to understand this mentality.
I’m not asking them to continuously finance international travel. In fact, I’m actively looking for scholarships and funded programs precisely because I want to pay for as much as possible myself. If something is fully funded or mostly funded, why wouldn’t I apply?
It’s not like I’m randomly asking to go on expensive vacations every few months. These are opportunities connected to my education, portfolio, career and international exposure.
And there is another layer to this.
I’m 22, and I’m a girl. I know that eventually there will probably be expectations around marriage. I personally want to experience as much of the world as I can before marriage, because I have no idea what my life circumstances will be afterwards.
I want to travel solo at least sometimes. I want to explore different countries. I want to experience living somewhere unfamiliar. I want to build a career and become independent. I want to look back when I’m older and know that I actually did things instead of constantly saying “maybe later.”
But my family’s response is often basically:
“You can travel later with your husband.”
And that honestly bothers me.
Why does marriage have to be the point at which I become “allowed” to travel?
What if I want to see Taiwan at 22? Or Japan at 23? Or Europe at 25? Why does the assumption have to be that I should wait until some hypothetical future husband appears?
I also recently saw a very different side of my family while my brother was looking at girls for an arranged marriage.
There was a girl they were considering, and my family started discussing things like whether she had a job, whether she had stayed in a hostel, what kind of lifestyle she had, whether she travelled with friends, etc.
At one point, they actually rejected/cancelled things with a girl because she had travelled to Thailand with her friends.
That really made me think.
Because on one hand, I’m constantly told:
“Focus on your studies.”
“Build your career.”
“Become successful.”
“Do something with your life.”
But when a woman actually starts becoming independent, travelling, staying away from home, working, making her own decisions or having experiences outside the family, suddenly those same things can become negatives when evaluating her as a potential wife.
And my parents sometimes seem to want me to pursue business rather than a conventional job because, in their words/logic, running a business would keep me more “in check” or connected to the family.
I understand that they are probably thinking about safety, culture, marriage, reputation and what they believe is best for me. And I know I’m privileged because they have supported my education and have allowed me to do things that many Indian girls aren’t allowed to do.
That’s actually why I feel guilty even complaining.
They did let me go to Taiwan.
They did invest in my education.
They do want me to have a successful career.
They aren’t completely against me travelling.
But it feels like there is an invisible limit:
“You can have independence, but only up to the amount we decide is appropriate.”
And now that I’m discovering opportunities myself, I feel like every opportunity becomes a negotiation about whether I’m “taking advantage” of the freedom I was given.
I don’t want to rebel just for the sake of rebelling. I genuinely want to build an international career, travel, learn, meet people from different cultures and experience life while I’m young.
I also don’t want my entire future to be:
study → career → marriage → travel with husband → family responsibilities.
Maybe I’m being naive, but I want some experiences that are mine, before I potentially become someone’s wife and have completely different responsibilities.
So I’m curious about other people’s experiences, especially Indians/people from similar cultures:
How do you deal with parents who support your education and career but become restrictive when that independence starts involving travel, living abroad, or making your own decisions?
And where is the line between being grateful for what your parents have given you and allowing that gratitude to become a permanent obligation to live according to their expectations?
I’d genuinely like perspectives from both sides, including people who think I’m being unreasonable.

Hi everyone!
I’ve been researching the CSC Scholarship for the past few weeks, but honestly the more I read, the more confused I get 😅. There are so many different opinions, so I thought I’d ask people who have actually been through the process.
A little about me—I’m from India and I’ll be graduating in 2026 with a Bachelor’s in Interior Design (CGPA around 9.6). My interests are shifting towards AI in design, architecture, smart environments, digital fabrication, XR/VR, and human-centered design. My plan is to apply for a fully funded Master’s in China for the 2027 intake.
I have a few questions that I’d really appreciate some honest advice on:
Is CSC Type A or Type B generally the better option?
Should I start emailing professors months before applying, or is it not as important as people make it seem?
Apart from Tsinghua and Tongji, what universities should I seriously consider? I’m actually okay with choosing a slightly less famous university if it gives me better funding, a better supervisor, and a higher chance of admission.
Does anyone know universities that are particularly strong in AI + Design, Architecture, Spatial Design, Human-Centered Design, or Smart Environments?
Is IELTS usually required, or do universities accept a Medium of Instruction certificate?
Do I need HSK if I’m applying to English-taught programs?
How competitive is CSC for Indian applicants these days?
Is the monthly stipend enough to live comfortably, especially in cities like Shanghai, Beijing, Hangzhou, Nanjing, or Wuhan?
If you already received CSC, what do you wish you had known before applying?
If you had to do the whole application again, what would you do differently?
I’m also curious about life after getting admitted. How has your overall experience been in China? Is the research environment good? Was the language barrier manageable? Did you find internships or industry opportunities? And overall, would you recommend China for someone planning a long-term career in design and technology?
I know that’s a lot of questions 😅, but I’d genuinely appreciate any advice or experiences you’re willing to share. Even if you can answer just one or two of them, it’d help me a lot.
Thanks in advance!

I’m 22F and currently doing my internship. I have a senior from college who’s now working full-time, and I genuinely don’t know how to deal with her anymore.
For some background, we were never really close in college. During her internship and thesis, she used to call me at night and we’d spend 2–3 hours on Google Meet discussing her concepts, brainstorming ideas, and helping her figure things out. I didn’t mind helping because I like design discussions.
The thing is, the only help I ever asked her for was sharing some university assignments/resources and once explaining a topic before an exam. That’s literally it. I never expected her to spend hours helping me.
During her farewell, she suddenly became really emotional, saying how much she liked me, admired my work, etc., and we exchanged numbers. Ever since then, she’s been calling me regularly.
Now she’s working as an interior designer, and she wants me to help her design one of her projects. Not just give feedback—she wants me to spend hours on Google Meet over the course of a week discussing layouts and concepts with her.
Yesterday I ignored one of her calls because I wasn’t in the mood. She then called me 5–6 times, so I thought maybe it was an emergency and called her back.
She told me she needed help with her project.
I told her I’d just gotten my period and honestly wanted to rest. Her response was basically, “You don’t have to do anything, just stay on the call.”
We still ended up talking for almost an hour. Before hanging up, she said she works from 7:30 AM to 9:30 PM and asked me to wake up at 6 AM so we could work before her office. I said I’d try, but I didn’t wake up.
The next morning she called multiple times. I didn’t answer. Then she called again around 11 AM, and I told her I was bathing and would call later. Then another 5–6 calls in the evening while I was outside. Now she’s calling again at night.
This isn’t even the first time. A few months ago I was on a work trip at an architecture exhibition in another city, and she still wanted me to help her with her work.
Another thing that really drains me is how she talks about other people. Almost every conversation turns into her complaining about classmates, coworkers, or other seniors. She’ll say she helped them so much but nobody ever helped her back. It’s the same story with different people, and it honestly makes me wonder if one day she’ll be saying the same thing about me.
She also constantly puts herself down by saying things like, “You’re so much more intelligent than me,” or “Your work is amazing, mine isn’t,” and it feels like she’s waiting for me to reassure her every time. It makes me uncomfortable because I don’t know how to respond without sounding rude.
At this point, I feel like I’m being treated as free design support rather than a friend. I’m already doing my own internship, have my own deadlines, and value my free time.
The repeated calls are honestly stressing me out. If I don’t answer once, she’ll keep calling until I eventually do.
Am I being unreasonable for wanting to distance myself? How would you handle someone like this without creating unnecessary drama?

I’m 22F and currently doing my internship. I have a senior from college who’s now working full-time, and I genuinely don’t know how to deal with her anymore.
For some background, we were never really close in college. During her internship and thesis, she used to call me at night and we’d spend 2–3 hours on Google Meet discussing her concepts, brainstorming ideas, and helping her figure things out. I didn’t mind helping because I like design discussions.
The thing is, the only help I ever asked her for was sharing some university assignments/resources and once explaining a topic before an exam. That’s literally it. I never expected her to spend hours helping me.
During her farewell, she suddenly became really emotional, saying how much she liked me, admired my work, etc., and we exchanged numbers. Ever since then, she’s been calling me regularly.
Now she’s working as an interior designer, and she wants me to help her design one of her projects. Not just give feedback—she wants me to spend hours on Google Meet over the course of a week discussing layouts and concepts with her.
Yesterday I ignored one of her calls because I wasn’t in the mood. She then called me 5–6 times, so I thought maybe it was an emergency and called her back.
She told me she needed help with her project.
I told her I’d just gotten my period and honestly wanted to rest. Her response was basically, “You don’t have to do anything, just stay on the call.”
We still ended up talking for almost an hour. Before hanging up, she said she works from 7:30 AM to 9:30 PM and asked me to wake up at 6 AM so we could work before her office. I said I’d try, but I didn’t wake up.
The next morning she called multiple times. I didn’t answer. Then she called again around 11 AM, and I told her I was bathing and would call later. Then another 5–6 calls in the evening while I was outside. Now she’s calling again at night.
This isn’t even the first time. A few months ago I was on a work trip at an architecture exhibition in another city, and she still wanted me to help her with her work.
Another thing that really drains me is how she talks about other people. Almost every conversation turns into her complaining about classmates, coworkers, or other seniors. She’ll say she helped them so much but nobody ever helped her back. It’s the same story with different people, and it honestly makes me wonder if one day she’ll be saying the same thing about me.
She also constantly puts herself down by saying things like, “You’re so much more intelligent than me,” or “Your work is amazing, mine isn’t,” and it feels like she’s waiting for me to reassure her every time. It makes me uncomfortable because I don’t know how to respond without sounding rude.
At this point, I feel like I’m being treated as free design support rather than a friend. I’m already doing my own internship, have my own deadlines, and value my free time.
The repeated calls are honestly stressing me out. If I don’t answer once, she’ll keep calling until I eventually do.
Am I being unreasonable for wanting to distance myself? How would you handle someone like this without creating unnecessary drama?

My_Qualifications: Final-year B.Des Interior Design student (CGPA 9.6) from Chitkara University. Recently accepted by a professor at Da-Yeh University for a TEEP (Taiwan Experience Education Program) research internship, with registration in the TEEP system to be completed soon.

Hi everyone!
I recently received an email from a professor at Da-Yeh University saying that he would like to welcome me to join his TEEP program and that he will be registering my details in the TEEP system soon. I’m really excited, but I have a lot of questions and would love to hear from anyone who has participated in TEEP, especially at Da-Yeh University or in Taiwan in general.
A few things I’m wondering:
1. Administrative process
What documents were you asked to submit after your professor accepted you?
How long did the TEEP registration process take?
Were there any unexpected administrative requirements?
2. Budget
The stipend is around 20,000 NTD/month, and my accommodation is expected to cost around 5,000 NTD/month.
Is the remaining 15,000 NTD enough for food, transport, and daily expenses?
How much were your average monthly expenses?
Any money-saving tips?
3. Pre-departure expenses
I’m estimating my total pre-Taiwan expenses (passport, visa, transcript, flight, insurance, etc.) to be around ₹60,000, which is roughly 23,000–24,000 NTD.
Does that sound realistic, or should I budget more?
4. Living in Taiwan
How was your overall experience?
Was it easy to make friends?
Did you use English most of the time, or did knowing some Mandarin make a big difference?
Is Da-Yeh University well connected by public transport?
5. Safety
My parents are a little concerned because this would be my first time living abroad alone.
Did you generally feel safe in Taiwan?
Any precautions or things I should know as an international student?
6. TEEP experience
Was the research experience worthwhile?
Did it help with graduate school applications or future opportunities?
Were you able to travel around Taiwan during weekends?
Also, if anyone else has been selected for a recent TEEP program at Da-Yeh University (or elsewhere in Taiwan), I’d love to connect and hear about your experience!
Thanks in advance for any advice. I’m really looking forward to this opportunity and want to prepare as much as possible.

Hi everyone!
I recently received an email from a professor at Da-Yeh University saying that he would like to welcome me to join his TEEP program and that he will be registering my details in the TEEP system soon. I’m really excited, but I have a lot of questions and would love to hear from anyone who has participated in TEEP, especially at Da-Yeh University or in Taiwan in general.
A few things I’m wondering:
1. Administrative process
What documents were you asked to submit after your professor accepted you?
How long did the TEEP registration process take?
Were there any unexpected administrative requirements?
2. Budget
The stipend is around 20,000 NTD/month, and my accommodation is expected to cost around 5,000 NTD/month.
Is the remaining 15,000 NTD enough for food, transport, and daily expenses?
How much were your average monthly expenses?
Any money-saving tips?
3. Pre-departure expenses
I’m estimating my total pre-Taiwan expenses (passport, visa, transcript, flight, insurance, etc.) to be around ₹60,000, which is roughly 23,000–24,000 NTD.
Does that sound realistic, or should I budget more?
4. Living in Taiwan
How was your overall experience?
Was it easy to make friends?
Did you use English most of the time, or did knowing some Mandarin make a big difference?
Is Da-Yeh University well connected by public transport?
5. Safety
My parents are a little concerned because this would be my first time living abroad alone.
Did you generally feel safe in Taiwan?
Any precautions or things I should know as an international student?
6. TEEP experience
Was the research experience worthwhile?
Did it help with graduate school applications or future opportunities?
Were you able to travel around Taiwan during weekends?
Also, if anyone else has been selected for a recent TEEP program at Da-Yeh University (or elsewhere in Taiwan), I’d love to connect and hear about your experience!
Thanks in advance for any advice. I’m really looking forward to this opportunity and want to prepare as much as possible.

Hi everyone!
I recently received an email from a professor at Da-Yeh University saying that he would like to welcome me to join his TEEP program and that he will be registering my details in the TEEP system soon. I’m really excited, but I have a lot of questions and would love to hear from anyone who has participated in TEEP, especially at Da-Yeh University or in Taiwan in general.
A few things I’m wondering:
1. Administrative process
What documents were you asked to submit after your professor accepted you?
How long did the TEEP registration process take?
Were there any unexpected administrative requirements?
2. Budget
The stipend is around 20,000 NTD/month, and my accommodation is expected to cost around 5,000 NTD/month.
Is the remaining 15,000 NTD enough for food, transport, and daily expenses?
How much were your average monthly expenses?
Any money-saving tips?
3. Pre-departure expenses
I’m estimating my total pre-Taiwan expenses (passport, visa, transcript, flight, insurance, etc.) to be around ₹60,000, which is roughly 23,000–24,000 NTD.
Does that sound realistic, or should I budget more?
4. Living in Taiwan
How was your overall experience?
Was it easy to make friends?
Did you use English most of the time, or did knowing some Mandarin make a big difference?
Is Da-Yeh University well connected by public transport?
5. Safety
My parents are a little concerned because this would be my first time living abroad alone.
Did you generally feel safe in Taiwan?
Any precautions or things I should know as an international student?
6. TEEP experience
Was the research experience worthwhile?
Did it help with graduate school applications or future opportunities?
Were you able to travel around Taiwan during weekends?
Also, if anyone else has been selected for a recent TEEP program at Da-Yeh University (or elsewhere in Taiwan), I’d love to connect and hear about your experience!
Thanks in advance for any advice. I’m really looking forward to this opportunity and want to prepare as much as possible.

Hi everyone!
I recently received an email from a professor at Da-Yeh University saying that he would like to welcome me to join his TEEP program and that he will be registering my details in the TEEP system soon. I’m really excited, but I have a lot of questions and would love to hear from anyone who has participated in TEEP, especially at Da-Yeh University or in Taiwan in general.
A few things I’m wondering:
1. Administrative process
What documents were you asked to submit after your professor accepted you?
How long did the TEEP registration process take?
Were there any unexpected administrative requirements?
2. Budget
The stipend is around 20,000 NTD/month, and my accommodation is expected to cost around 5,000 NTD/month.
Is the remaining 15,000 NTD enough for food, transport, and daily expenses?
How much were your average monthly expenses?
Any money-saving tips?
3. Pre-departure expenses
I’m estimating my total pre-Taiwan expenses (passport, visa, transcript, flight, insurance, etc.) to be around ₹60,000, which is roughly 23,000–24,000 NTD.
Does that sound realistic, or should I budget more?
4. Living in Taiwan
How was your overall experience?
Was it easy to make friends?
Did you use English most of the time, or did knowing some Mandarin make a big difference?
Is Da-Yeh University well connected by public transport?
5. Safety
My parents are a little concerned because this would be my first time living abroad alone.
Did you generally feel safe in Taiwan?
Any precautions or things I should know as an international student?
6. TEEP experience
Was the research experience worthwhile?
Did it help with graduate school applications or future opportunities?
Were you able to travel around Taiwan during weekends?
Also, if anyone else has been selected for a recent TEEP program at Da-Yeh University (or elsewhere in Taiwan), I’d love to connect and hear about your experience!
Thanks in advance for any advice. I’m really looking forward to this opportunity and want to prepare as much as possible.