u/AdventurousFee9154

I’m 25 and honestly feel stuck.

I still live with my parents, I’m living paycheck to paycheck, and I don’t have much of a social life. I have friends, but I don’t have a friend group. I feel like I’m the side friend to most people. Everyone seems to have their people, their plans, their trips, and their traditions while I’m just kind of watching from the outside.

It’s the 4th of July and I have absolutely no plans. I know it’s just a holiday, but it’s hitting me hard. Seeing everyone posting barbecues, lake days, vacations, and parties makes me feel like everyone else has a life except me.

I’ve tried to put myself out there. I used Bumble BFF, but I usually end up getting ghosted after a few hangouts. I joined a Bible study and went for months hoping to build friendships, but most of the girls were already very close. A lot of conversations revolved around trips and plans they all did together. Some things that were said about the Catholic Church also really turned me off, and eventually I stopped going.

What’s hard is that I used to have a larger friend group. I walked away because it was incredibly toxic. There was constant drama, gossip, people talking badly about each other behind their backs, and even getting with each other’s exes. I don’t regret leaving because it wasn’t healthy, but sometimes I see them all still hanging out and doing fun things and I wonder if I made a mistake, even though I know deep down I didn’t.

I spend a lot of my free time in bed. I bed rot more than I’d like to admit. I smoke weed because it helps numb some of the sadness for a little while. I have good days, but if I’m honest, most days are bad. I go to work, come home, get in bed, scroll, smoke, sleep, and repeat.

I’ve struggled with depression for a long time. I’m on Wellbutrin and don’t feel like it’s helping much. I’ve prayed, journaled, tried self-help stuff, tried putting myself out there, tried focusing on gratitude, and I’m still struggling.

The hardest thing lately is that my sister was recently diagnosed with a life-altering disease. Watching someone I love go through that has been heartbreaking, and I feel like I’ve been grieving the future I thought she would have. I don’t think I’ve fully processed it.

Part of me feels guilty for feeling depressed because I know I have things to be grateful for. I have my health. I have a roof over my head. I have a car. I have parents who let me live with them. There are people dealing with far worse.

But despite all of that, I feel lonely, stuck, and hopeless a lot of the time.

I want a life I love. I want close friends. I want purpose. I want to eventually live on my own. I want to wake up excited about my future instead of dreading it.

Has anyone else been in this place and actually gotten out of it? If so, what changed? Is there hope when you’ve felt this way for years?

Please be brutally honest because I tend to ruminate and I need outside perspective.

My ex-boyfriend (25M) and I dated for around 10 months and he was my first serious relationship. I genuinely believe we were deeply in love. We talked about marriage, our future, and building a life together.

During our relationship, there were some challenges. I struggled with anxiety and sometimes acted from fear or insecurity. He also had a huge fear of divorce and was very serious about relationships.

I made mistakes in the relationship. I broke up with him over things that, looking back, I don’t think warranted ending the relationship. I also said things about us not being compatible because of our families and made other comments I regret.

Despite some messy moments, he stayed with me through a lot.

Eventually, when we were trying to figure things out after breaking up, he told me he didn’t know if he could get back together. I said, “Then I guess that’s my answer,” and he left. He had previously told me he wasn’t going to fight for me and also said he felt like I wasn’t “the one.”

That statement still hurts me deeply.

On January 20th, I sent him a long, heartfelt message. I apologized, took accountability, told him I loved him, and said I wasn’t writing it to reopen anything. I also told him I would respect his life and space and wouldn’t reach out again.

It’s now June 23rd (about 5 months later).

We have not spoken since.

I still think about him every single day. I have recurring dreams about him. I still miss him intensely and sometimes get overwhelming urges to contact him. Tonight, after a dream about him, I found myself wanting to reach out again.

The thing is, I don’t know if this is love, grief, guilt, regret, attachment, or all of the above.

I also don’t know if I’m idealizing him because I miss him.

Part of me wonders if he misses me too. Another part of me thinks he’s completely moved on.

I know he’s continuing his life, but I have no evidence that he’s dating anyone.

My question is:

At what point do I stop hoping? Is this a sign I need to move on, or is it reasonable to reach out one final time after 5 months?

And based on these facts, does it sound like this relationship ended because two people weren’t compatible long term, or does it sound like someone (me) sabotaged something that could have worked?

Please be honest, even if it’s hard to hear.

Me and my ex have been broke up for a year and a half. We only dated for about 8 months. But it was my first love. It sounds so embarrassing since the relationship didn’t last too long. I broke up with him. But tried getting back together but it didn’t work out. We planned kids and marriage. The more that time goes on the more I realize life just doesn’t feel the same. He’s built a whole new life for himself and I’m stuck kinda stagnant. I’ve dated and nothing works and the more I do the more I realize he is the one for me. I messaged him months ago apologizing for things that happen the relationship. We were both not perfect. We were young adults both trying to navigate a first relationship. Idk what to do. I can’t be the one always reaching out and trying. He didn’t try reaching out but I did have him blocked for some time so idk. What should I do? I keep dreaming about him and it’s so painful. Everywhere I go I just feel it’s not the same or as fun. I feel so empty.

I’m missing my ex deeply. We only dated for 8 months but he was my first love and I was his. We’ve been broke up for a year and a half. I was doing well, but now as the time goes on the more it hurts. It wasn’t perfect. I was messy at times. We didn’t understand each other at certain points. We talked about marriage and children. We even planned our children’s names. The ache hurts. I broke up with him, we met up after to maybe talk things through. My life has gotten so hard family members getting sick. I’ve slowed down my life while his has only gotten better. A few months ago him a deep paragraph explaining that I loved him deeply, regretted how things ended, and was trying to take accountability while also emotionally saying goodbye. I blocked him right after. Because I couldn’t handle no reply or a dry reply. It was a lot for me. I wish we were together. He hasn’t reached out. I feel like he doesn’t think about me anymore or fell out of love. He said at the time I didn’t feel like you were the one. But that was a year ago. So much time has passed and I still feel like he is the one. I told him in that message I wasn’t reaching out anymore. But I want to. I wanna follow him on instagram but that might be dangerous.

Guys I’ve know a guy for years. Always got an off vibe/ an asshole vibe. We were in the same friend group. He dated a girl in the group. And at one point told the girl he was dating he had a crush on me? Odd they continued dating for a few years. They recently broke up. We met each other again at a church event. He seemed different. We hung out and dated for a few months. A broke it off because I didn’t have romantic feelings. We then true hanging out as friends for a few more but realized that wasn’t gonna be realistic. So I last minutely cancelled our plans and he dropped off an item of mine that was at his place. When I was with my ex boyfriend, I posted with him. And the guy I am talking about followed him? Kinda random. But he recently didn’t follow him anymore. Up until recently. He followed my ex and my ex followed him back. I know I truly shouldn’t be looking for my sanity but I do and this kinda made me spiral. I think that’s so weird they may have known each other through a shared sport but it’s so odd. Especially since the last time we hung out I asks him if he knew my ex because we were on the topic and he always brought up his ex so I didn’t think it was a big deal. What could this mean? This is ridiculous I’m letting this bother me as much as it is but I’m wondering if something similar has happened to anyone else and am looking for an explanation