My brother can come home at midnight, skip family functions, not know how to cook, and nobody says a word. I come home at 9pm once and it becomes a family meeting. I genuinely want to understand — did any of you find a way to call this out at home without it turning into a massive fight? Because I'm tired of adjusting for people who never adjust for me.
9 months ago I launched my first productivity app called "Purposa app". I couldn't find a way to market it, but lately with just a few Reddit posts (no other marketing), it generated $1,100 in 2 weeks of posting.
People are loving the app.
What started as a simple idea to help people focus on their goals has taken off in ways I never imagined. Over 1,000 users and incredible reviews, all organic, no paid ads.
After gathering tons of feedback, I realized I had solved a real problem that people were willing to pay for.
Still exploring any good places. I wanna make videos for content creation specifically in morning. My lifestyle has become hell of an upside down. Trying to change it.
I woke up at 6am today and started content creation. After few hours i felt sleepy so i slept it. Cause of i don't i would get suriy in my office
I've started saying no to things that make me uncomfortable, I stopped apologizing for existing, I have opinions now. And suddenly everyone at home thinks something is wrong with me. My mom says I've become "too modern." My relatives say I've become "arrogant." But honestly? I think I've just started respecting myself. Has anyone else been through this and how did you respond to it?
Like at home I'm the good beti who doesn't argue, helps in the kitchen, doesn't talk back. But the moment I step out or open my phone I'm a completely different person with opinions and boundaries and actual plans for my life. It's exhausting pretending to be someone you're not every single day. Is this just an Indian thing or do others feel this too?
Thiss is this is the first time I am trying to make a series in Instagram and this is a rough concept but I am still unable to figure out what I can add some kind of tension or drama so that it will be more engaging. Anyone can please help me?
Any good writers specially any female ones please help me.
​
[Part 1 was the family dinner. Part 2 was the conversation. This is what came after.]
i want to be careful with this post because i've seen so many "i got out of my situationship and HERE'S MY 5-STEP HEALING JOURNEY" posts and i'm not doing that.
i'm like 3 weeks out. i don't have a journey. i have some observations.
---
the first thing i noticed is how much time i had back.
not free time. mental time. i didn't realize how much of my day was spent monitoring. did he open my message. why hasn't he posted in 3 days. what did he mean by that. is he with someone. should i reach out first or wait.
it's exhausting to track all of that and pretend you're not tracking it.
---
the second thing is that i had to stop calling it "being chill."
i was not chill. i was suppressed. there's a difference. chill is genuinely not minding. suppressed is minding a lot, but deciding the relationship is too fragile for your feelings to exist in it.
if you have to manage yourself to keep someone comfortable — that's not a relationship. that's a performance.
---
the third thing, and this one's still uncomfortable:
i've been asking myself what i actually want. not "what does he want" or "how do i make this work." just — what do i want.
i haven't done that in a long time. i've been so focused on being the person someone would choose that i forgot to check if i was choosing them.
---
i'm not over it. i still think about him. i still sometimes pick up my phone hoping there's a message. that's just honest.
but there's something different now. it's like i'm on my own side in a way i wasn't before.
i don't have a lesson. i don't have a moral. i just wanted to close the loop for the people who followed along.
if you're in something that has no name, i'm not going to tell you to leave. but i'll tell you this:
you deserve to know what you are to someone.
not because you need a label. but because you need to know if you're building something or filling time.
that's all.
---
going to take a break from posting for a while. appreciate everyone who shared their own stories in the comments this week — some of you said things that helped me more than you know.
Part 2:
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— him not introducing me to his friends for the first 3 months ("he's just private")
— never being his instagram story, even once, in 7 months ("social media doesn't matter")
— always going to his place, never him coming to mine ("he just has the better setup")
— him taking 6-8 hours to reply during the day but always being available after 10pm ("he's just busy")
— making plans and having them fall through, regularly ("things come up, i'm not needy")
— him saying "i'm not really a relationship person" in month 1 and me deciding that would change ("he just hasn't met the right person")
— the slight panic i felt every time he went quiet for a day ("i'm just anxious, this is my issue")
— looking at his location on snapchat at 11pm when he said he was tired ("just curious, not insecure")
— feeling grateful when he texted me first ("he thought of me on his own, that means something")
— crying about it to my friends and then defending him to them immediately after ("they don't understand the full picture")
every single one of these things i explained away. every one of them was information.
not saying he was a bad person. i'm saying i became a very skilled lawyer for a case i should have dropped.
if one of these sounds familiar — you're not alone. and also, it's information.
​
gonna get buried for this but whatever.
i see so many posts about being stuck in a situationship like it's something that happened to them.
"he won't commit." "she keeps me on the hook." "i don't know what they want."
and look — yes, some people are genuinely being strung along by someone manipulative. that's real and it's awful.
but a lot of us? we're choosing the situationship.
not consciously. not happily. but we're choosing it every single day we don't have the direct conversation. every time we decide to "wait and see." every time we tell ourselves "i don't want to pressure them."
here's what that actually is: it's protecting yourself from finding out the real answer.
because if you never ask "what are we," you can never get a "this is nothing."
the situationship isn't being done to you. you're co-creating it. the other person might be conflict-avoidant. but so are you.
i spent a year angry at a guy for not committing to me. then i realized i had never once directly asked him to.
i would drop hints. i would act like a girlfriend and hope he'd mirror it. i would bring it up and then backtrack when he got quiet. i called all of that "giving him space to come around."
it wasn't. it was fear of rejection dressed up as patience.
the moment i actually said — out loud, clearly — "i want a relationship, do you?" everything changed. not in a good way necessarily. but at least in an honest way.
most situationships end the second someone gets clear.
which tells you everything about why they lasted as long as they did.
again — not talking about situations with power imbalances or manipulation. talking about the garden variety "we've been doing this for 8 months and neither of us has said anything" situationship. That one's on both people.
am i wrong? genuinely want to hear the other side
Am currently new here and i finished my BBA. Am currently in vijaynagar but can go anywhere, still exploring thigns what i can do in life. Anyone who can company me.p
Any creators, influencers or businesses, we can explore and do something.
Independent woman or so much welcome. Cause a girl can inly understand a girl's passion.
Today is day 230 of me quitting all that stuff. It sounds crazy to me even now as I do remember how good that cup of coffee felt or how fun it was on those weekends, but to be honest I would never get those habits back.
I actually made a post here on my day 93 but a lot of stuff changed, so this post is kinda an update with more and better advice.
How my life changed over the last 7mo
Before, I talked about how quiet my head got. but after a few more months, that quietness turned into actual drive. I was feeling so... motivated? I know motivation isn't the thing that will get you from A to B, but this motivation is different. it feels like a superpower because I wasn't just motivated on the first few days, it still drives me even now.
I'm going to the gym 4 times per week for the third month now! I'm reading my bible everyday, and my boss said that I was never this productive before. And I can actually feel it: i just sit and focus on my work whenever I want to.
I think that drive is what we call momentum. And the further I go, the more momentum I feel.
The first month felt cool, but it is really not what you should be waiting for. If you quit those bad habits, all the other good things in your life will start compounding over time.
How I am maintaining it
I want to be honest, it's not that easy, but it's actually real. I still feel like sh!t some days and I still want to quit sometimes. But when i remember how my life felt before, I just decide to keep it up for “just today.”
Thinking about years or even months ahead is still too heavy for me. Focusing on today is the best because it is just small steps, and the compound effect does the rest.
I also still lean heavily on my faith. as a christian, knowing I don't have to be perfect and that i'm forgiven just to be a child of God takes all the pressure off. If you have a bad day or feel massive cravings, don't beat yourself up.
Idk If can mention the apps but near month 3 of this whole process, I also started using tools. I use Opal to keep my phone blocked from social media, and Рurроsа to be more focused on my goals and habits.
Advice
If you feel stuck in your addictions, it's not hopeless. Don't try to change your whole life forever. Focus on today, keep things simple, and don't run away from yourself.
Keep going guys, I am still rooting for you!!!!
Who else is quitting? What day are you on?
​
I've always bought clothes for myself without thinking twice. I know what I want, what fits, what looks good. Zero effort.
But I decided to start an online brand ( in Instagram mainly) and the second I moved into men's category am getting confused.
I've been selling some of it, but something looks quite off and I cannot figure out what men actually want to wear vs. what they say they want to wear. Big difference apparently.
I'd rather ask real people than guess wrong and waste my time going in the wrong direction tbh.
https://www.instagram.com/be\_\_uneeq?igsh=MTBvaDVpdmxtNG9zaA==
Drop your thoughts, roast my assumptions, whatever. I just need real answers.
My I'd - be_uneeq
A help from you people means me a lot
​
I’m new in Bangalore and planning to spend tomorrow morning reading at Lalbagh. Never been there much before, so thought it’d be nice to have some company
age and gender doesn't matter just chill people who like reading, relaxing, or touching grass
Saturday 9 AM 12:30 PM
📍 Lalbagh Botanical Garden
I need an expert canva designer from india. Urgently.
Last sunday his sister had a birthday dinner. he invited me. i bought a gift, got my hair done, wore the dress he once said looked "really good on you."
i walked in. he introduced me to his mom, his dad, his cousins, his aunts.
This is me, she's a friend of mine.
i smiled. i said hi. i ate the food. i laughed at the right times.
i drove home and sat in my car in my own driveway for 47 minutes.
we have been whatever-this-is for 7 months. we talk every day. he's been to my apartment more times than i can count. i've met his best friends. i know his coffee order, his childhood trauma, what he looks like when he cries.
but apparently i am a friend.
the worst part? i didn't say anything. not that night, not the next morning when he texted me "had fun last night." i just said "yeah me too :)"
because that's what you do in a situationship right. you swallow it. you smile. you don't make it weird. you don't ask for things you were never promised.
i keep telling myself i knew what this was. but did i? did i actually? because somewhere between month 2 and month 7 i stopped just hanging out with someone and started building a whole life around a person who has no label for me.
he's not a bad person. that's what makes this so hard to explain to people. he never lied. he never made promises he broke. he just never made promises at all. and i filled in all the blanks myself.
i think that's the thing nobody tells you about situationships. the damage isn't done to you. you do it to yourself. slowly. willingly. hoping the story turns out differently.
anyway. i'm not going to text back today.
that's all. that's the whole post. just needed to say it somewhere
This might sound a bit dumb, but hear me out because it’s been working way better than I expected.
I realized lately that I spend way too much time focused on what’s missing or what's going wrong. Even when things are mostly fine, my brain just defaults to “yeah but what about this problem… and that problem…”
So I started doing a 5-minute “gratitude rant” in the morning. I’ve tried writing in a gratitude journal before, but I just can't stay consistent with it. This, though? It’s actually stuck.
It’s not journaling. It’s not "meditation." It’s literally just me pacing around the room talking out loud to myself.
“Got a roof. Got food. My legs work. Dog’s still here. Sun’s out. Coffee’s decent. Not dead yet. We’re good.”
I felt like an idiot at first 😂 but I’ve really gotten into it. One thing leads to another and now I’m basically just rapping it out.
The weirdest part is that during the day, I’m actually noticing things I was totally missing before. Small wins, opportunities, just more awareness in general.
It reminds me of that experiment with the newspaper photos. The people who thought they were "lucky" saw the shortcut on page 2 immediately, while the people who thought they were "unlucky" completely missed it because they were so focused on the task.
It feels exactly like that. Nothing on the outside changed, but my "filter" did.
Anyway… has anyone else tried something like this? Talking it out instead of writing it down? Would love to hear if it worked for you.