u/Any-Fill3871

Hi everyone! Looking for some advice or maybe just some insight. TIA!

The last few years there have been ups and downs when it comes to sleeping. I used to have a deviated septum so my sleep was awful, I was sick for long periods of time, etc. Once I got it fixed, I finally was able to rest comfortably and get a good amount of sleep. The surgery was over a year ago now.

Lately I’ve been noticing (more often than not) before I go to bed, I get a lot of anxiety. If I’m alone, it can get pretty debilitating. It only happens when I’m just about to go to sleep and my eyes are heavy. I’m always afraid someone is in the house or someone is going to come through my window. I dog sit a lot and stay at their homes, so it’s always a thought when I’m at peoples houses. I never worry about it during the day though, it’s always at night.

I’ve been seeing this guy and he’ll stay with me from time to time, which overall definitely makes me feel better, and it won’t happen as much when he’s with me, but still will at least once if he stays with me for multiple days. I’ve noticed I’m okay if I’m home and my dog sleeps with me or if the dog(s) I’m watching sleep with me too.

Examples as to what happens:

• I hear a noise and my heart starts racing. I think someone is inside the house and they’re coming to get me.

• I will worry about random and absurd things that are just simply not real - once I slept over my friends place and as I was just about to go to sleep a thought crossed my mind that there were cameras in their ceiling fan.

• I worry that someone is outside watching me through the window.

• Every once in a while my eyes will play tricks on me and I swear I see an arm or a hand in my closet or whenever I’m elsewhere, it could be a shadow and it looks like a person to me (please don’t judge me for this, it’s so embarrassing and scary to admit).

To help myself I tell myself I’m just worrying, nothing I’m worried about is actually happening, take a deep breath, I’m okay/safe, etc. The adrenaline in my body is usually still spiking when I do this, so it doesn’t get anywhere right off the bat… it takes a while.

I did see a hand outside my window one of the first nights after I had moved into my own room as a child. I remember the next day my dad pointing out footprints in the snow leading up to my window, so I know it was real. I’m sure a lot of it stems from that, like PTSD from it.

Sometimes I take edibles but I try not to a lot because obviously it’s weed and I don’t want to get too dependent on it or make things worse. Usually I take it when I know I’m going to pass out right as it hits because sometimes if I don’t, it’ll increase anxiety. I’ve taken sleeping meds in the past but a couple of times I’ve woken up too early and fainted or it’s made me throw up so I avoid those.

I just don’t know what to do. It’s exhausting physically and mentally. I’ve thought about going to a sound bath or a wellness place just to see if doing calming exercises or something like that will help with my adrenaline and such. Do other people deal with this or am I in need of some serious help? I am totally fine with getting help, just don’t know where to start or what the right direction is.

Not sure if this is the right place for this, but I’m kind of wondering if this is weird or if I am overreacting. This woman I know (39) just started some sort of art/poetry account on Instagram recently. It popped up and out of curiosity I looked at it. One of the posts is a poem she wrote about not wanting to be touched, assuming by a partner (she didn’t say in the poem). Overall it was just weird and kind of dark, basically saying she doesn’t want the person to touch her or put their hands on her body.. then a few posts later is a picture of one of the children she watches and questions the child asked her.

She also posts stuff about being single, how dating sucks, etc… it just seems like it’s not the place for a child to be posted.

I also get the poem is artistic expression but given its subject I feel like it’s inappropriate to post a picture of a child that she takes care of on the account as well. It’s a public Instagram account.

Am I overreacting or is this weird?

ETA context

So I have a 2019 Nissan Sentra SR and for the past few months or so, I’ve randomly been having issues with the stereo / audio. I am just leaving the dealership and the issue still persists which is why I’m writing in!

To sum up all the issues: most recently the screen has frozen or glitched, this started last week. What’s been happening the whole time is that when I play music, it’ll be fine for a little bit and then will start either skipping the song (kind of like when you’d play a scratched cd) or become really staticy and hard to hear what’s playing. If I’m connected to the car and somebody calls me, they can hear me fine, but sometimes if I call them when I’m connected, they can’t hear me.

They think the issue could either be because of my cord or my phone. I’ve replaced the cord since the issue started, and it’s still happening. I have an iPhone 17, which is updated. I’m pretty sure there’s no issues with it internally. I haven’t gotten it checked though so I could be wrong. I asked them to check the port that the plug goes into to see if there’s anything wrong with that, and they said they would, but when I got it back earlier, they didn’t mention anything about it so who knows!

They told me that my system was three updates behind and updated it for me, so I was hoping that would resolve the issue, but it did not. It happened again as soon as I left!

Maybe this is dramatic of me, but it’s making driving the car less enjoyable. Has this happened to anyone or does anyone have any suggestions as to what I should do?

I (26f) unfortunately still live at home with my mom (64) and dad (56). I started a new career path recently so financially I can’t really afford to live on my own. I am fortunate enough in the case that they let me live there rent free. Because of this, I obviously am totally fine with helping them out with things like chores and getting things they need and what not. At the end of 2024, my parents decided to get two little dogs, so that’s mostly where my responsibilities lie, but I still do whatever I can to help out.

Mostly it’s my mom that tells me either what needs to be done or what we need at the store, because for some reason, unknown to us all, my dad puts zero effort into taking care of literally anything. My dad has never done anything besides cut the grass and plow the driveway. I can count on one hand how many times in my life that I’ve seen him do the laundry.. same with cooking. He never went grocery shopping growing up, and only started going in 2020 when the pandemic hit because my mom was scared to go alone. Even now, he barely goes, and if he does, he only goes to a convenience store to grab a couple things, not the full list. When she asks him to do something, he either doesn’t do it, or complains / does it wrong or complains / does it when he feels like it.. not in a timely manner may I add. He only takes care of the dogs when he feels like it too, like taking them for walks and stuff, but for some reason will not feed them or give them medicine if they need it… It’s always on my mom or I, even if he’s the one that has the time to do it. He always has the time and energy for the things he wants to do though… How convenient!

My brother lives far away and on a recent phone call my mom was praising him for doing chores and keeping his apartment clean. She told him, while I was standing right there, that she doesn’t get help like that around the house. She didn’t specify if she meant from me or my dad, she just said she didn’t get it. It really pissed me off considering I do anything she asks, whenever she asks for it. A lot of the time I do what needs to be done without being asked too, like vacuuming, taking the trash out, dishes, getting the mail, etc. I never complain. I never don’t do it. I get it done when it needs to be done and I leave it at that.

Today she said something again while I was cleaning my room. My room is the smallest in the house so it’s kinda crammed with all my stuff and furniture (I’ve tried getting rid of things, reorganizing, everything. It’s just the way it is). The bed frame is too heavy / kind of too big for me to easily move it around to get underneath, especially alone, so it’s been a while since I’ve done it. Definitely not a one person job, so I asked her if she could hold it up while I cleaned. She was really upset about how dusty it was, which is fair, it was pretty bad, but then started to go on a tangent about how I never do anything to help her out, how disgusting it was, how lazy I am, how I’m incapable of doing anything myself, etc.

She kept going on and on about it and eventually I stated crying. I nicely just said to her I do whatever I can for them happily and asked how she can say that when my dad never steps up. She agreed he doesn’t, but for some reason kept going at me? I said it seems like she’s directing her anger towards the wrong person and it’s completely unfair. I said it really hurts my feelings when she acts like she does it alone when she doesn’t, and for not acknowledging the help she gets from me. I made her aware I will always help / do whatever I can but she really needs to stop enabling my dad and allowing him to be the laziest piece of shit. I ended it with saying if there’s anything more she needs me to take on just to communicate that and apologized if she feels as if I don’t do enough but that’s really NOT the case considering my dad does nothing. He needs to step up too and it’s unfair to us both that he doesn’t. She didn’t say a word back to me.

I don’t know if it’s like their ages or a misogyny thing but it seems completely unfair to me that I get shit even when I happily take care of things, but my dad gets a free pass for doing absolutely nothing.

Before anyone asks, yes, I am saving money to move out, and I do try my very best to not be there a lot, so when I am, I help out. My main motivation for helping out is taking a load off of my mom, simply because I know my dad is an asshole and will not. She works a demanding job and doesn’t need to come home to any sort of chore, big or small, and he doesn’t seem to get that.