u/ArtistSerious3181

Problem/Goal:

So I’m 23M and she’s 20F. We’re both nursing students. This girl na nililigawan ko for months already recently gave me mixed signals again, and honestly, I don’t know if I should still continue or just leave it alone.

We actually had good momentum recently. Late-night talks for days. We finally went on a spontaneous date last Thursday after months of delays because of school responsibilities and life stuff, especially from me. During the date, she seemed genuinely interested. Flirty siya, initiating conversations, laughing, engaging, all that. She was also as nervous as me when we met up, and it was a bit awkward, but still good signs.

Before pa nga, she even admitted na she really liked me, and honestly, until now parang meron pa rin naman.

At the start, I wasn’t overly attached. I had more confidence and game, I guess. Pero habang tumatagal, I became more “simpy” and emotionally invested. That’s when things started feeling weird.

For context, she told me she was 5’1. I’m around 5’5, so I thought may height gap naman kahit papaano. But when we met, parang 5’3 or 5’4 pala siya, basically almost my height. And I’m not gonna lie, being a short guy has always been one of my insecurities. So part of me keeps thinking maybe height plays a role here too.

Anyway, during the months we were talking, there were periods na mawawala siya. One time, almost one month kaming walang usap. Then babalik ulit. We both got busy, and I also got dengue during that time.

But now I found out there’s probably another guy involved. She keeps telling me she doesn’t want a relationship right now because she wants to focus on responsibilities, org work, family stuff, pagiging officer sa allied health community, etc. But her posts and behavior kinda say otherwise.

Recently, may mga TikTok reposts and My Day posts siya that obviously look like she’s heartbroken over someone. Like those “yan ang gusto ko eh, yung sinasayang ako” type posts. Then there was another story with “Good For You” playing in the background with the caption: “Chat, this is unthuggable.” When she noticed I viewed it, she deleted it immediately.

After our date, I even gave her flowers and chocolates. She seemed really happy about it. A few days later, she thanked me again and said kakainin niya raw while “crashing out.” I asked why she was crashing out, and she just replied, “wala, pagod na ako.” After that, unread na ulit ako for 3 days after my one-sentence witty response trying to make her laugh.

Honestly, parang ginagamit niya akong emotional comfort kapag nasasaktan siya from another guy. Like a back burner option. Someone she still likes to someextent, but not enough to fully choose.

And yeah, masakit isipin na maybe the other dude is taller, better-looking, or whatever. More likely they also have proximity advantage because I’m around two bus rides away from her since sa province ako nakatira ngayon. I know insecurity ko na yun, but I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t play a role here.

At the same time, I know I still need to improve myself. I’m not yet in the best financial state. I’m still working on myself physically too. I’m on isotret right now, planning to get braces eventually and maybe double jaw surgery in the future because of my malocclusion. I’m also working out seriously now and plan to get leaner and more muscular within the next few months.

I’m a 4th-year nursing student with a lot of responsibilities too. Goal ko talaga is to graduate, pass the NCLEX, move to America, and build my life there since citizen naman na ako already.

The thing is, before meeting her, I wasn’t even planning to seriously date anyone. But she came first. She actually showed interest first too, which is why nahirapan akong bumitaw.

Now I’m stuck between:

- trying one last time, kamustahin siya with a short message para mag-reply,
- improving my “game” and emotional attraction again,
- I even thought of demoting her into someone casual lang and just leaving after getting what I want because of what she did, but maybe that’s a bad idea,
- or just completely walking away and focusing on myself.

Part of me thinks I should leave it alone already because this setup is draining me mentally. I even blocked her on some socials para hindi ako mag-stalk nang mag-stalk, except Instagram because part of me is still waiting for her message and still wants to win her back.

She says gusto niya muna mag-graduate, and she also has that “provider/princess mindset.” Part of me thinks maybe once nasa ibang bansa na ako, which is baka 3rd year pa lang siya nun, I can be that guy. But honestly, that also feels like next-level simpy thinking.

Part of me also wants revenge. Like game-an ko siya emotionally, hook up with her, then leave. Kasi possibility pa rin yun. I’m genuinely tired of being a “nice guy,” especially as a short man, because in my experience, women in my demographic don’t really respect guys like me.

I know logically I’ll eventually meet someone else. Pero right now, parang feeling ko siya na yung ideal girl ko, even though I also see red flags in her already.

And honestly, napansin ko rin na when I acted more detached and focused more on game and stimulating her emotions before, mas responsive siya in a flirty way. But when I became more caring and available, parang naging avoidant siya. She even admitted before na avoidant siya emotionally, while I probably lean more anxious attachment-wise.

So yeah, what do you guys think?

Should I still try? Should I get my revenge, or should I just let this go and focus on nursing school, self-improvement, and my future?

TL;DR: I’m 23M and she’s 20F, both nursing students. We had months of talking, late-night calls, flirting, and recently went on a good date where she genuinely seemed interested. She admitted before that she really liked me, and part of me thinks she still does. But she’s also inconsistent, disappears for weeks, and recently left me unread again after thanking me for flowers and chocolates I gave her.

Now I suspect there’s another guy involved because of her TikTok reposts/My Day posts that make her look heartbroken over someone else. She keeps saying she doesn’t want a relationship right now because of responsibilities and priorities, but her actions feel different. I honestly feel like I became the emotional comfort/back burner guy while she likes another dude more.

I’m also insecure about being short (5’5), not yet financially stable, and living far away in the province, although I’m actively improving myself physically and career-wise. I’m graduating nursing soon, planning to pass the NCLEX and eventually move to America.

Part of me still wants to try one last time because I genuinely like her, but another part wants to completely move on because this situation is mentally draining me. I’m also becoming bitter because I noticed she responded better when I was more detached and “game-focused” compared to when I became more caring and emotionally available.

So now I’m stuck wondering if I should still pursue her, walk away completely, or just focus on myself and my future.

Fil-Am here, late 20s. Recently my grandpa passed away, and I got some inheritance (won’t disclose how much, but it’s a good amount).

So I’m planning to get height surgery. I’m 5’4, and honestly buong buhay ko insecure ako dito haha. Most of my life nasa Pinas ako, then lilipat ako sa States after nursing school. Pabalik-balik kami before. I also want to start dating again eventually since I’m still moving on from my 5-year relationship that just ended.

And before I die, gusto ko rin talaga ma-experience maging matangkad. Hindi lang naman dahil sa babae to ah, although siyempre mas lalaki talaga dating pool mo kapag matangkad ka. Pero even studies have proven na being taller can improve outcomes in life — people respect you more, mas may opportunities ka, especially here in America. Most CEOs are like 6 footers for a reason.

I already got double jaw surgery before, but that one was more of a necessity because of my malocclusion and airway problems. Pero grabe rin yung halo effect after my jaw improved and I became more attractive. People genuinely treated me better, and I got more dating options after.

I’ll probably spend around 5 million pesos kasi balak ko gawin sa Europe para mas mura but still safe, with experienced doctors. I’m planning to get the maximum increase possible without major complications, around 6 inches, so I’d end up around 5’10 to 6 foot with shoes on.

From what I’ve researched, with top doctors in the US and EU, advanced na rin naman yung procedure ngayon and mas safe na compared before, especially if done properly.

Would you date a guy who got this surgery? I’d be open about it naman. Honestly, I don’t get bakit sobrang stigmatized ng surgery na to when people openly get BBLs, boob jobs, veneers, braces, and other cosmetic procedures. Even braces are technically altering your appearance to some extent. Pero oh well, you can’t please everybody. We only live once anyway.

Curious lang din if malaking deal ba to for Pinay women hehe.

Nursing ako dito sa middle east and waiting for my visa process to US. Yeah may mga relatives ako na tumulong sakin, mga kaibigan sa america, pero my gahd I sacrificed a lot, friends, and my sanity for the future of my future kids and stability and professional growth, more money.

Man someday sana ang Pilipinas get to the point that being an ofw is not a necessity but an option.

It causea a lot of broken families and broken relationships and force people to be lonelier and away from the environment they are from and accustomed to.

Pero seeing whats happening in the Ph man I am still glad I can migrate sa Us but at kahit dito sa middle east but nakakalungkot na parang hindi nag proprogress ang pinas tang ina.

So ayun love life masakit nnaman, pwedeng may mkausap dyan yung maayos sana haha and not too judgemental but still criticisms are great.

Thanks. Kung pede sana call discord telegram etc.

23M and 20F.

We met three months ago, we talked, nung una mixed signals sya but we came back stronger and we became much closer eventually.

And then she asked me on a date nadelay due to me, but I made sure nung malapit sya sakin sa sm na malapit ay pinuntahan ko sya.

So sponty date, then medyi awkward sya but flirty naman stuff like that and then eventually the bibes get better I made her laugh, I even bought her a rose and some chocolates and may banat pa na ‘isa lang tan kasi your the one’.

Problem is I look good she said( although I can be better) but then the height hers is misleading, sabi nya 5’1 sya eh 5’3-4 pala ako 5’5 pag nakasapatos, and I know mahalaga saknya height peor its all godo nag kwentuhan text ganun.

Problem ko lang is nainlab na ako sa kanya na nakalimutan ko na ang game and medyo naging simp ako.

I am not the richest and best palce right now pero 4th year na ako sa nuraing shes 2nd year and mag gragraduate na ako take nclex and punta na ng america (I am american citizen naman na) but man if I didnt met her I would not date right now kasi due to my immediate family problems also and nag iimprove pa lang ang game ko and charisma and looks ko now.

But anyways nalaman ko na parang heartbroken sya nung isang araw lang, nakita ko may patama sa tiktok myday (di kami moots dun) pati sa fb sabi ‘this is unthuggable chat’ (so it means may parang nanakit sa kanya)

Putang ina nag chat pa sakin, ‘thanks for this chocolates its one of my fav tapos kinakain nya daw habang nag cracrashout’ yun pala nag cracrashout sa ibang lalaki.

She is one of teh boys and talking to other men pero kaibigan nya lang daw, problem talaga is maliit ako and medyo chopped which is I am working and once I have money I will optimize it.

Anyways ayun ginawang comfort food pala ang aking gifts and most likely ay hineartbroken sya ng ibang lalaki, I started talking to other girls after that, pero parang nainlab na ako, sa sobrang galit ko sabi ko idedemote ko na sya form potential gf to fkbuddy and game her kasi heartbroken sya diba while I talk to other women.

And I will improve my looks and skills money now and game charisma medyo nakkaatawa rin ako but sometimes get shy around her kasi type ko sya.

My plan is to just fk her while I talk to ither women para bang revenge but deep down Is till liek her like love level.

Fk man ang hirap maging lalaki tbh idk what should I do? Maybe her interest went down when she saw another taller guy kasi alam mo na madaming nag memessage sa kanya potang ina.

I think I want to be an asshole na and be good looking and be agood manipulator na kasi being a nice guy didnt helped me at all or maybe I am wrong. Maybe galit lang to.

Shoudl I confront her or continue on pursuing to at least fkher or make her potential gf? I know she has some interest on me but that guy she loves that guy more I guess.

Tang ina ginawa akong comforter or something. Hirap maging maliit it makes me want to get leg lengthening eventually to 6 foot lol. Fk me man.

Should I just confront her or continue with my plan while I talk to other women and keep her a fubu potential?

Problem/Goal:

23M and 20F.

We met three months ago, we talked, nung una mixed signals sya but we came back stronger and we became much closer eventually.

And then she asked me on a date nadelay due to me, but I made sure nung malapit sya sakin sa sm na malapit ay pinuntahan ko sya.

So sponty date, then medyi awkward sya but flirty naman stuff like that and then eventually the bibes get better I made her laugh, I even bought her a rose and some chocolates and may banat pa na ‘isa lang tan kasi your the one’.

Problem is I look good she said( although I can be better) but then the height hers is misleading, sabi nya 5’1 sya eh 5’3-4 pala ako 5’5 pag nakasapatos, and I know mahalaga saknya height peor its all godo nag kwentuhan text ganun.

Problem ko lang is nainlab na ako sa kanya na nakalimutan ko na ang game and medyo naging simp ako.

I am not the richest and best palce right now pero 4th year na ako sa nuraing shes 2nd year and mag gragraduate na ako take nclex and punta na ng america (I am american citizen naman na) but man if I didnt met her I would not date right now kasi due to my immediate family problems also and nag iimprove pa lang ang game ko and charisma and looks ko now.

But anyways nalaman ko na parang heartbroken sya nung isang araw lang, nakita ko may patama sa tiktok myday (di kami moots dun) pati sa fb sabi ‘this is unthuggable chat’ (so it means may parang nanakit sa kanya)

Putang ina nag chat pa sakin, ‘thanks for this chocolates its one of my fav tapos kinakain nya daw habang nag cracrashout’ yun pala nag cracrashout sa ibang lalaki.

She is one of teh boys and talking to other men pero kaibigan nya lang daw, problem talaga is maliit ako and medyo chopped which is I am working and once I have money I will optimize it.

Anyways ayun ginawang comfort food pala ang aking gifts and most likely ay hineartbroken sya ng ibang lalaki, I started talking to other girls after that, pero parang nainlab na ako, sa sobrang galit ko sabi ko idedemote ko na sya form potential gf to fuckbuddy and game her kasi heartbroken sya diba while I talk to other women.

And I will improve my looks and skills money now and game charisma medyo nakkaatawa rin ako but sometimes get shy around her kasi type ko sya.

My plan is to just fuck her while I talk to ither women para bang revenge but deep down Is till liek her like love level.

Fuck man ang hirap maging lalaki tbh idk what should I do? Maybe her interest went down when she saw another taller guy kasi alam mo na madaming nag memessage sa kanya potang ina.

I think I want to be an asshole na and be good looking and be agood manipulator na kasi being a nice guy didnt helped me at all or maybe I am wrong. Maybe galit lang to.

Shoudl I confront her or continue on pursuing to at least fuck her or make her potential gf? I know she has some interest on me but that guy she loves that guy more I guess.

Tang ina ginawa akong comforter or something. Hirap maging maliit it makes me want to get leg lengthening eventually to 6 foot lol. Fuck me man.

Should I just confront her or continue with my plan while I talk to other women and keep her a fubu potential?

Yun lang tang ina nyo, glad that I am not in the Philippines anymore, di lahat pero baka experience ko lang to, ang daming hihila sayo pababa na mga kababayan mo if you are achieving something. tbh mas maganda pa ang experience ko to other races here they tend to bring you up more than filipinos dito sa america even back home ganun rin experience ko, ofc hindi lahat but in my experience its prevalent. May mga kaibigan pa rin ako na filipino na matino dito and home pero pili lang.

Too bad I make good money now as nurse here and I want to get our of the hospital also gawa ng ang toxic ng ibang filos nakatapak lang ng america kala mo billionaryo na.

But yeah fk off crabs Ill live my life and achieve the things that I want or die trying fk off.

22M. Found out the girl I’ve been talking to for 6 months is probably entertaining another guy. We had chemistry, met in person, she gave flirty signs, I made her laugh, and I genuinely thought we were getting closer. But reality is, attractive women today have endless options, especially online. There’s always taller guys, richer guys, better-looking guys in the DMs.

I’m not ugly, but I’m not “model-tier” either. Some girls have found me attractive and I know my social skills aren’t terrible, but experiences like this make it hard not to feel like shorter guys have to compensate with status, money, charisma, or exceptional looks just to compete.

At this point, I’d rather focus on leveling up: money, fitness, social skills, confidence, and building a life I’m proud of. Maybe there’s more to life than constantly chasing validation through dating.

As for her, I still like her, but I’m starting to emotionally detach. I think she’s still hung up on a guy who hurt her, and I don’t want to waste months overinvesting in someone who’s unsure about me. I’ll probably talk to other women and keep my options open instead of putting all my energy into one person again.

The modern dating scene can really mess with your head sometimes.

Idk haha curious lang ako as a guy, my friend choose the guy na di sya attracted pero may pera, kinda feel bad for the guy though idk kung totoo bang pagibig o hindi.

Going through a lot haha, sana may makausap, if pwede voice chat sige gowh.

So yun nga I have a problem with a girl I am courting fam issues and 4th year na ako issues rin sa school haha. Just want someone to maybe listen to me and if you want give advice pero maybe constructive criticism.

Yown lang guys, thank you mga boss. :)

Problem/Goal:

23M, so sa isang subreddit dito na PH bases— I vented out na gusto ko na lang yumaman.

I vented out na di ako mayaman now but I ahve some advantages (4th year student nursing, may relatives sa US na more likely pwede ma decrease yung amount na years para makalipat dun at least dun sa hiring process, somewhere to live, want to build nursing business sa Us or mag nurse anesthethist and try to pursue my dreams on social media ganun ganyan).

Yun naman yung purpose ng sub na yun diba mag vent, then may nag comment, na mali daw, tapos oo nga may connections ako, eh ngayon daw ang panget ng economiya, eh may charisma daw ba ako, pogi ba daw ako etc, na parang ang galing galing nya.

And 23 years old na daw ako immature pa din daw ako mag isip and wag ko daw icompare sa ubang tao yung experience ko kahit may mga kakilala daw ako na nurse na gumanda buhay and retired millionaires dun sa us eh di ibig sabihin na magiging ganun ako, and that nursing you will not make that much money(yup his trying to force his stances on me I respected it in a disrespectful way)

Mali ko lang is nakipag argue pa ako, then he compared me to his friend na 24 na nag mamaster s na.

And di lang yan may mga kaibigan rin ako pag may nakakamit ako na maganda they become passive aggressive, nahahalata ko hindi naman lahat, why a lot of filipinos are bitter pag yung kapwa nila may nakamit or nag eexpress ng pangarap?

Hes saying dapat meron ka lahat para lang mag succeed kulang ang backer daw, charisma at social skills, sabi ko maman kung magaling ka sa isang bagay you do it for a long time may opportunities ka and depende pa rin sa industry (nursing alam ko maayos sya and more stable and have demand continously) and medyo nagalit and sabi immature daw ako mag isip like whut.

How do you handle this people and bot affect you and maybe benefit you pa?

Problem/Goal:

20F, 23M and I cant type for too long, pero she is a really beautiful woman, but nag connect kami due to same interests hobbies, and nurisng tapos nappatawa ko sya.

And me I am a brokie 4th year nursing student, mas mayaman sya sakin, and she did loved me at least nung simula but now I know shes been cheating in my back.

Idk guys I just want to disappear, alam ko I am not the most good looking tight now mainly lack of money and bad habits na finifix ko na, being broke also is hard sometimes I missed some of our dates.

But yknow idk sumabay pa acads.

Alumni night nila ngayon nag chat kami hannggang 3 kahapon but I know shes cheating with another guy, my blood is boiling tbh right now pero pinipigilan ko lang kasi I might do something bad dun sa lalaki or I might get beaten up badly haha bawling my eyes out right now