u/Awkward_Metalhead

One of the things I've struggled with most since being diagnosed with autism is explaining that sense of outsiderness — that feeling of being different, not by choice and not to be "wacky," but just not fitting in regardless of how much people try to help.

Getting people to understand it's not them, it's me, is hard enough. But it's also not just me; they're the ones who built the world I'm trying to fit into. So it's no one's fault, really, but it's everyone's problem at the same time.

What I've struggled to get across is that the key is learning from each other. It's hard to portray what it feels like to be an outsider, and why it matters that people understand that.

The film I Swear really nails it. It's about Tourette's syndrome, but there's so much overlap with autism, ADHD, and a host of other conditions. It's such a touching portrayal of discovering you're different, how hard that is, and how differently people treat you because of it.

It also captures the parent's side and how hard it is raising a kid who poses different challenges to "the norm".

It's a very British, very fitting, very lovely tribute of a film, and I've been recommending it to everyone to help them understand me, even though the conditions aren't the same.

I also have a friend with Tourette's who said the film captures what living with it is actually like so accurately that it blew him away. He's been recommending it to people too, not even specifically about Tourette's, just to help them understand what it feels like to genuinely feel like an outsider.

So yes, I absolutely recommend it to everyone here. It's entertaining, it's funny, it's also serious. It never feels exploitative. Just a lovely, warm, honest film.

It's been around a decade since I saw Jackson in Copenhagen with my now wife. We adored it.

I've been eagerly awaiting him coming over again, as it seemed he did for a while (I've caught him in London and Sheffield a few times when there).

But nothing at all since. I get it - he's hardly a spring chicken and doesn't have a huge fan base here in comparison to the US.

Still, I'd love to see him once more. Any inclination or speculation?

Thanks.

My dad and I are visiting Phoenix and around to see IndyCar, NASCAR and the sights.

Our current itinerary is something like landing and resting on 9th March (we come from Sweden and the UK, respectively) then hiring at car at 8am on 10th and driving to Grand Canyon. Staying at South Rim that night.

Now's where it gets tricky, though. Being massive fans of Jackson Browne, we'd love to go to Winslow to just take a picture at the Standin' On The Corner monument. But, also loving the typically touristy Forrest Gump views, we'd love to head up to Monument Valley too. But that's a LOT of driving for 11th, right? Our plan would be to leave Grand Canyon Village, drive to Forrest Gump Point, south to Winslow, stay night in Flagstaff (as I'm a stargazing nerd and want to see a proper dark city).

On 12th, leisurely head back towards Phoenix. Then 13th-14th at Phoenix Raceway. Fly out 15th at night.

There's just so much we want to do and really not enough time, I fear. We can only have a week off from our jobs (and I can only afford a week, as I'm paying for my dad on this trip as a kind of "thanks for everything" gift).

I'm used to long drives. Sweden's routes aren't short, as distances are large further north, so that doesn't bother me. And we can split driving.

I'm a huge hiking fan but am willing to let that go this time, as my dad is too chronically injured to walk too much. It will be a lot of driving, and we're fine with that. We don't need to do planned tours or hikes, and I'll get my exercise in hotel gyms instead.

But I'm wary, as we're staying near to the raceway, there's very little time for Phoenix itself.

So, all in all: is this too much? Too tough? Perhaps the wrong focus of the days?

Any tips or prompts for further thoughts appreciated. Thank you.

It's always been a dream of my dad and I to see Indycar but also NASCAR. Now, making two trips over the Atlantic isn't in our budget, but we watched the Phoenix double header in 2026 and thought: "We MUST go in 2027."

However, I have some questions:

1. What's the likelihood of this happening in 2027?

2. Approx when are schedules released?

3. Regardless, the Phoenix race seems pretty decent and affordable. Is it worth a trip? I've never heard great things about the city, to be blunt.

Thanks in advance.

I'll try to keep it short (edit: fail). I'm 36 M and my wife is 38 F. I'm a Brit, she's a Swede. We've had an amazing relationship for the longest time. Met in 2012, married 2018. We've travelled the world, moved countries (now in Sweden), had good careers, have a house and two wonderful on-the-spectrum daughters (6 and 2).

But since COVID things have been rough. It all started around 2020 when my wife got pregnant at the same time. Something shifted. It's not fully on her, of course, but something changed. Things got better from 2022-2024 thanks to therapy, couples counselling and hard work.

Evidently it worked well enough that she got pregnant again in 2023. Still, once baby came, things returned to bickering, disrespect and tension.

We've not had sex since our youngest was conceived in 2023. We absolutely equal parent our kids (if anything I do a tiny bit more around the house because my job is fewer hours and pressure than hers). I am autistic, and have diagnoses of anxiety, ADHD and chronic depression.

However, since these in 2021, I really have tried to better myself with counselling, medication, exercise, good diet. There are ups and downs of course but I'm a much better person than I was a decade ago, easily.

But the more I better myself it's like the more it irritates her. I don't understand what I'm doing wrong, either logically or from a "I can't read people" autistic viewpoint.

I'm so lost and confused. I feel lonely in a relationship. I've suggested counselling but there's always something else she puts in the way of it. My therapist and I have worked intensely on identifying what makes me unhappy and it keeps coming back to the marriage.

I'm not an angry person. I have no addictions, debts, baggage from exes or anything. My hobbies are simple and homebound: I play guitar, piano, and sing; I listen to music most of the time, primarily metal and rock, but also K Pop Demon Hunters (out of choice!); I like watching F1 from time to time; I am a film buff; I like exercising by long forest walks mainly. I don't think I'm that bad, if a little dull and pessimistic - not perfect of course, but I'm trying to be different to the shitty role models I had in my family anyway.

My wife is an amazing woman when she's present - kind, caring, loving, challenging, exciting. She is, and always will be, the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. No joke - somewhere between Lindsey Vonn and Scarlet Johansson (whereas I'm more like a Temu edition McCauley Culkin, so I lucked out!)

I love her dearly. Endlessly. I try to keep the spark there, take all the weight off of her, buy her gifts, take her places, but it's usually met with disdain, avoidance or unappreciative responses, or straight up rejection. In counselling I've repeatedly committed to her wishes and changes, and all I asked in return is that she's polite to me and occasionally we connect physically.

She's very work-focused and driven, and I really don't mind (and support) whoever she wants to be. I honestly enjoy being more of a homemaker, simple type. I pay everything equally, cook, clean, take the kids, keep the house paperwork in order, sort our holidays and school schedules, as my wife does too. It feels very equal in a burden sense rather than in affection.

I know that marriage isn't just a commitment to a person's present, but also their future self. People change. I changed massively once we had kids and became much more content with simplicity and living honestly and authentically. I think maybe we both have.

But I know I don't want a divorce. I want to make this work. But I can't. It's like the divorce is a train rolling down the track towards us and she's refusing to move.

Anyway. It's tearing me apart. I have no real friends in Sweden and financially I would be wrecked. Then there's the kids, too. All of our friends are hers, as I'm a bit of a loner/introvert by my own design.

I'm scared. I guess I don't know what to do and wonder if I'll cope in a new life. Dating someone new is not even on my radar - I'd probably end up just getting a dog for the time being, honestly.

Thank you.

(Edit: we have quite separate social lives already. I don't need that big of a social circle and enjoy my own company. If anything I'd love to spend more time with my wife.)

I'll try to keep it short (edit: fail). I'm 36 M and my wife is 38 F. I'm a Brit, she's a Swede. We've had an amazing relationship for the longest time. Met in 2012, married 2018. We've travelled the world, moved countries (now in Sweden), had good careers, have a house and two wonderful on-the-spectrum daughters (6 and 2).

But since COVID things have been rough. It all started around 2020 when my wife got pregnant at the same time. Something shifted. It's not fully on her, of course, but something changed. Things got better from 2022-2024 thanks to therapy, couples counselling and hard work.

Evidently it worked well enough that she got pregnant again in 2023. Still, once baby came, things returned to bickering, disrespect and tension.

We've not had sex since our youngest was conceived in 2023. We absolutely equal parent our kids (if anything I do a tiny bit more around the house because my job is fewer hours and pressure than hers). I am autistic, and have diagnoses of anxiety, ADHD and chronic depression. However, since these in 2021, I really have tried to better myself with counselling, medication, exercise, good diet. There are ups and downs of course but I'm a much better person than I was a decade ago, easily.

But the more I better myself it's like the more it irritates her. I don't understand what I'm doing wrong, either logically or from a "I can't read people" autistic viewpoint.

I'm so lost and confused. I feel lonely in a relationship. I've suggested counselling but there's always something else she puts in the way of it. My therapist and I have worked intensely on identifying what makes me unhappy and it keeps coming back to the marriage.

I'm not an angry person. I have no addictions, debts, baggage from exes or anything. My hobbies are simple and homebound: I play guitar, piano, and sing; I listen to music most of the time, primarily metal and rock, but also K Pop Demon Hunters (out of choice!); I like watching F1 from time to time; I am a film buff; I like exercising by long forest walks mainly. I don't think I'm that bad, if a little dull and pessimistic - not perfect of course, but I'm trying to be different to the shitty role models I had in my family anyway.

My wife is an amazing woman when she's present - kind, caring, loving, challenging, exciting. She is, and always will be, the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. No joke - somewhere between Lindsey Vonn and Scarlet Johansson (whereas I'm more like a Temu edition McCauley Culkin, so I lucked out!)

I love her dearly. Endlessly. I try to keep the spark there, take all the weight off of her, buy her gifts, take her places, but it's usually met with disdain, avoidance or unappreciative responses, or straight up rejection. In counselling I've repeatedly committed to her wishes and changes, and all I asked in return is that she's polite to me and occasionally we connect physically.

She's very work-focused and driven, and I really don't mind (and support) whoever she wants to be. I honestly enjoy being more of a homemaker, simple type. I pay everything equally, cook, clean, take the kids, keep the house paperwork in order, sort our holidays and school schedules, as my wife does too. It feels very equal in a burden sense rather than in affection.

I know that marriage isn't just a commitment to a person's present, but also their future self. People change. I changed massively once we had kids and became much more content with simplicity and living honestly and authentically. I think maybe we both have.

But I know I don't want a divorce. I want to make this work. But I can't. It's like the divorce is a train rolling down the track towards us and she's refusing to move. Anyway. It's tearing me apart. I have no real friends in Sweden and financially I would be wrecked. Then there's the kids, too. All of our friends are hers, as I'm a bit of a loner/introvert.

I'm scared. I guess I don't know what to do and wonder if I'll cope in a new life. Dating someone new is not even on my radar - I'd probably end up just getting a dog for the time being, honestly.

Thank you.

(Edit: we have quite separate social lives already. I don't need that big of a social circle and enjoy my own company. If anything I'd love to spend more time with my wife.)

I'll try to keep it short (edit: fail).

I'm 36(M) and my wife is 38(F). I'm a Brit, she's a Swede. We've had an amazing relationship for the longest time. Met in 2012, married 2018. We've travelled the world, moved countries (now in Sweden), had good careers, have a house and two wonderful on-the-spectrum daughters (6 and 2).

But since COVID things have been rough. It all started around 2020 when my wife got pregnant at the same time. Something shifted. It's not fully on her, of course, but something changed. Things got better from 2022-2024 thanks to therapy, couples counselling and hard work. Evidently it worked well enough that she got pregnant again in 2023. Still, once baby came, things returned to bickering, disrespect and tension.

We've not had sex since our youngest was conceived in 2023. We absolutely equal parent our kids (if anything I do a tiny bit more around the house because my job is fewer hours and pressure than hers). I am autistic, and have diagnoses of anxiety, ADHD and chronic depression. However, since these in 2021, I really have tried to better myself with counselling, medication, exercise, good diet. There are ups and downs of course but I'm a much better person than I was a decade ago, easily.

But the more I better myself it's like the more it irritates her. I don't understand what I'm doing wrong, either logically or from a "I can't read people" autistic viewpoint.

I'm so lost and confused. I feel lonely in a relationship. I've suggested counselling but there's always something else she puts in the way of it. My therapist and I have worked intensely on identifying what makes me unhappy and it keeps coming back to the marriage.

I'm not an angry person. I have no addictions, debts, baggage from exes or anything. My hobbies are simple and homebound: I play guitar, piano, and sing; I listen to music most of the time, primarily metal and rock, but also K Pop Demon Hunters (out of choice!); I like watching F1 from time to time; I am a film buff; I like exercising by long forest walks mainly. I don't think I'm that bad, if a little dull and pessimistic - not perfect of course, but I'm trying to be different to the shitty role models I had in my family anyway.

My wife is an amazing woman when she's present - kind, caring, loving, challenging, exciting. She is, and always will be, the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. No joke - somewhere between Lindsey Vonn and Scarlet Johansson (whereas I'm more like a Temu edition McCauley Culkin, so I lucked out!)

I love her dearly. Endlessly. I try to keep the spark there, take all the weight off of her, buy her gifts, take her places, but it's usually met with disdain, avoidance or unappreciative responses, or straight up rejection. In counselling I've repeatedly committed to her wishes and changes, and all I asked in return is that she's polite to me and occasionally we connect physically. She's very work-focused and driven, and I really don't mind (and support) whoever she wants to be. I honestly enjoy being more of a homemaker, simple type. I pay everything equally, cook, clean, take the kids, keep the house paperwork in order, sort our holidays and school schedules, as my wife does too. It feels very equal in a burden sense rather than in affection.

I know that marriage isn't just a commitment to a person's present, but also their future self. People change. I changed massively once we had kids and became much more content with simplicity and living honestly and authentically. I think maybe we both have. But I know I don't want a divorce. I want to make this work. But I can't. It's like the divorce is a train rolling down the track towards us and she's refusing to move.

Anyway. It's tearing me apart. I have no real friends in Sweden and financially I would be wrecked. Then there's the kids, too. All of our friends are hers, as I'm a bit of a loner/introvert.

I'm scared. I guess I don't know what to do and wonder if I'll cope in a new life. Dating someone new is not even on my radar - I'd probably end up just getting a dog for the time being, honestly.

Thank you.