u/Ay10outof10t

Listen I don’t watch crime documentaries neither do I listen to them so you might call me uneducated in this area. I do wonder after finishing the series though can someone like Joe be rehabilitated and “healed”? Or is it something unfixable? At some point in the series (I don’t remember the exact season) Joe confesses that he enjoys killing, he enjoys the look his victims has on their faces (scary and gross and unsettling) so I’m not buying into the whole “killing to earn love” thing (both equally unsettling). But I do wonder whether in our society these type of people can potentially go through some sort of therapy or rehabilitation and become fully functioning part of society? Hope it’s not off topic.

Please be kind.

**TL;DR:** I have anxiety and an anxious attachment style. My anxiety caused repeated arguments, and my boyfriend asked for a break. I want to respect his space and break my old patterns, but I'm struggling to cope with the silence while waiting to start therapy.

I have anxiety and I think anxious attachment. I was single for 6 years on purpose, all my previous relationships ended, died slowly because of me getting anxious in various different situations and starting arguments over everything. When I say this, trust me I'm not self-blaming because I'm sad and I didn't do those things on purpose. So I was single for a long time "to do the work". Which was me basically doing...nothing. Reading a few books, contemplating, understanding my mistakes, etc. Which felt good. I thought I was ready for a relationship because my nervous system was so regulated when I was single.

I met my boyfriend 7 months ago and I fell back to my old patterns. Lots of arguments over nothing. In the end, he asked for a break, he said he has a lot of different feelings, he is confused. Well it was after a specific argument, but I suppose 7 months of drama added up to that, I doubt it was just one thing. Now, logical part of me understands this, logical part of me understood that I didn't do the work I was just single and there was no one to be attached to and feel anxious over. But anxious part of me can't bear it. We still talk like maybe 1-2 times a day over text. But of course not everything's the same. I feel his distance and coldness and yes he did say we could keep in touch because I asked for it but that doesn't mean he is clear about his feelings and he doesn't want to behave like nothing happened.

But if any of you reading this have serious anxiety, you know where I am coming from. The silence is deafening. I don't want to hang out with my friends. I don't want to do any of my hobbies. Distraction never worked for me. Breathwork never worked for me. I have scheduled an appointment with a therapist, hoping a professional can help me. It's in 3 days. But again, if you have anxiety you know currently every minute feels like day for me.

When I can't hear his voice it feels like I can't breathe. I get very anxious and I panic. I truly with all honesty want to give this break a try because first, he is really someone worth waiting for (this is not me being blinded by love I promise you). And second my anxiety got in the way of my relationships for so many years, this time I want to be the patient, calm person, or rather normal person with regulated nervous system and wait insetead of sending him angry texts and breaking it off and regretting later or begging him to talk to me. Once again, those of you who is lucky and has no anxiety maybe will not get where I am coming from, but this has been a pattern in a lot of my relationships.

I have activities to keep my busy. Except that no matter what I do i feel like coming back home and crying. I just don't know what to do. How do I give him the space he asked for and deserves without going crazy? I feel like sending him walls of texts, but from past experience I know these tend to ruin things. I want to get the help I need and I want us to come through together. Stronger. But at this point I feel like I need a miracle.

Maybe not the post for this sub, my apologies if it's not.

So, my issue is not Dan being a GG. Would I prefer if the identity of GG was not revealed at all? Absolutely YES. Do I think Dan was a poor choice? Absolutely no.

My issue is how everyone was kinda okay with it? Lol after years of being bullied by Gossip girl, at times trying to figure out her identity and in the end one of their closest ones turns out to be Gossip girl and they're all so... chill about it? Like no shock, no drama at all?

Sure there were some snippets/clips of people receiving the news and going WTF, most of those I couldn't remember who the hell they were except Vanessa :D But they could have at least showed more characters? Or what was up with everyone in the group going "dan? wow. i thought it was dorota. okay then. yay." like seriously, NOTHING? :D

I like how they spent so many episodes focusing on this baby Lily gave away at least like 10 episodes around this specific issue. So much tension around it. So much tension around the “secret” and then what it was and then couple of more episodes around hiding it from people then the guy coming back looking for them then the guy lying saying he’s the brother and the truth comes out. And in the end you don’t even see the guy ever again after 2 episodes lol. So anticlimactic

Hello! Sorry for another annoying sizing question but i've either been wearing wrong size shoes all my life or i'm doing the measurements wrong.

All my life i've been wearing EU size 38 (Female) training shoes. But when I follow HOKAs measurement guidelines (measuring the length of the foot) it falls under 25.5 cm which is 40 2/3 EU size lol. Had the difference been 1 size I would be okay with it and order but from 38 to 40 2/3 it seems a bit drastic.

I'd even believe I've been wearing wrong size shoes all my life, but it's not only the training shoes. The heels, sandals, I always have 38 and if I wore something bigger than that I would visually see they are bigger, it's much easier to see in sandals and open toed shoes.

So, I measured 10 times by now I'm going crazy. What am I doing wrong?

Hello! Sorry for another annoying sizing question but i've either been wearing wrong size shoes all my life or i'm doing the measurements wrong.

All my life i've been wearing EU size 38 (Female) training shoes. But when I follow HOKAs measurement guidelines (measuring the length of the foot) it falls under 25.5 cm which is 40 2/3 EU size lol. Had the difference been 1 size I would be okay with it and order but from 38 to 40 2/3 it seems a bit drastic.

I'd even believe I've been wearing wrong size shoes all my life, but it's not only the training shoes. The heels, sandals, I always have 38 and if I wore something bigger than that I would visually see they are bigger, it's much easier to see in sandals and open toed shoes.

So, I measured 10 times by now I'm going crazy. What am I doing wrong?

What do you think is the reason for heels classes not having the same structure as "normal" pole classes?

What I mean is that you know the drill, when you start pole dancing, you have different levels. You start with fireman, chair spin, then climbs, at some points invert, etc. Then you have your intermediate and advanced tricks. Then you have choreo sometimes, different entrances and exits to different tricks, flips, etc.

Why don't exotic/heels classes have such structure? Every single heels courses I see both in person and online is all about choreo. Choreos are nice, but they are not foundation. Why heels classes dont teach foundations and then move to choreo? I've been thinking about it for a while and I'd love to hear from seasoned professionals as to what is the secret here lol what am I missing? Isn't it better to learn the alphabet first and then start reading?

Some might suggest you can break choreos down and learn different tricks, yes, as almost everything in life you can do that but it makes everything much harder as a beginner. In no dance class (unless its advanced) or sport you start with choreos. You start with separate tricks, basics.

this goes to both floor work and old-school pole dance with heels.

Has anyone used Indi Pole online heels courses? When I google this one came up the most known and recommended apparently. Which one did you use and could you pls share your experience?

They have such a horrible website I got angry lol. For a course that’s most recommended they should really invest in some proper website design lol.