u/Better-Sector2072

holy shittt man meri fattke aa gayi thi aaj😭😭😭😭 last year ka paper bhot easy tha isliye iss baar itna hard diya paper shittt mann shittt my brain literally froze and my vision went blurry when i stared at the screen today while reading all the questions holy shitttt man omg😭😭😭 (cut off low hoga lekin iska matlab for admissions and teaching jobs)

hare krishna. i originally belong to gaudiya vaishnavism/iskcon community, and i'm absolutely in love with Krsna. however, i've found some loopholes here, for some reason i feel guilty for being myself, or thinking about doing things according to my own way in my spiritual journey? idk how to explain it.

please dont get me wrong. i know bashing iskcon is banned in this sub. i'm just sharing my own personal concerns which i have been personally facing. so pls do not think that i'm bashing iskcon here. it's just......i feel suffocated here mentally..... nothing i do here feels enough...people behave so weirdly here... i feel extremely suffocated...

rn i'm feeling very tired, sleepy, and sad, confused at the same time thinking about all these things. i have my entrance exam on Monday/29th, so i'll post only some part of what i'm going through. i'm requesting the mods to pls not delete this post.. i just need advice/guidance with regards to my spiritual journey.

i'm very tired, my brain is not working. so i'll share everything in detail after 29th, after my exam gets over. hare krishna.

Hare Krsna, dandavat pranaam. I really need to vent about the things happening in my life right now.

So, I have done my Master's in Psychology, and I'm currently preparing for an entrance exam to get into the teaching/professorship profession in the next few months. I have been studying normally like every other random typical entrance exam giver, and honestly, it's just.....so blunt, so tasteless? Idk what's the exact word.

Like, the things which I have been learning in my subject, they're soooo lame, so boring, and so much on a material level. I'll give you a few examples.

Sigmund Freud, the father of psychoanalysis, literally said that when guys and girls are little, like when they're toddlers, they feel jealous of their same-gender parent because they're subconsciously sexually attracted to the opposite-gender parent and find their same-sex parent a threat. For example, if a small 6-year-old boy lives with his parents, he finds his dad as his competition because he wants his mom to only belong to him and not get much closer to his dad since he wants to conquer his mom. Like, the boy is jealous of his dad because his mom finds his dad attractive and perceives him as a threat. It's called the Oedipus complex, and the opposite thing happens in girls; it's called the Electra complex. And I kept on cringing so hard when I read this for the first time after I got into Krsna consciousness 2 years back during my Master's. And obviously, like literally obviously, this theory is false.

Then there's Clark Hull's drive reduction theory, where he says that humans are wired to fulfill their basic needs. For example, if you feel hungry, you feel a sense of discomfort in your body, then you just eat and attain homeostasis in your body again, and you stop feeling hungry.

There are many other concepts included in this. I personally love reading about existential psychology, humanistic psychology, cognitive behavioural therapy, etc. etc., but it's just sooo much on the material level. Like, this type of knowledge is so much on the material plane, and even though I find interest in reading all this, I also find zero interest in reading this at all at the exact same time and also teaching this stuff to students.

Like, no doubt, psychology is interesting. Studying human behaviour and all, trying to figure out why you behave the way you behave, it's all very interesting when you observe people around you and try to interpret them. But there are times when I feel so bored, so disinterested in studying all this because I have zero interest in studying people and observing their behaviours at the same time. It all feels so dumb, omg. I'm literally seeing Rahu everywhere. All I can see is Rahu, Kali's servant, in my studies, finding absolutely zero taste in learning things on a material level. It's all so lame, so boring, so materialistic, but I have no other option because I have to earn money, and I can't run away from adulting and doing my responsibilities.

But besides this, I am getting this pretty intense urge to read our shashtras. I find Hari Parshad Prabhu very inspiring. He is considered one of the best scholars of Gaudiya Vaishnavism. And I'm starting to get this spiritual desire that I want to gain immense vidya of all the scriptures that we read- Bhagavatam, Chaitanya Charitamrita, Chaitanya Mangal, Bhagavat, Govinda Bhashya, etc. etc.- learning about raganuga bhakti, etc. etc., you name it. I'm getting this pretty intense desire of wanting to learn the shashtras, and I want to pursue this for the rest of my life. There are very few women in Krsna consciousness who have knowledge of all the shashtras, and even if they do, they are not much in the limelight or not given enough chances to portray or preach their knowledge in iskcon(we obviously know why). And I want to be one of them and preach on YouTube to people like Hari Parshad Prabhu and spread Mahaprabhu's message and teachings across the world through social media.

I'm just so bored and tired of this material world. I feel like my precious energy is leaking into this material world, and I'm not even interested in engaging in this material world. All I wanna do is just become a grihastha yogini and marry a non-Krsna conscious, spiritually inclined man (it's my own personal choice. If I find a like-minded, open-minded devotee who's not into patriarchy and stuff and would not want me to be submissive, and considers me equal to him, then sure, I'd love to marry such a person. But marrying an orthodox, close-minded, brainwashed, cult-like, "controlling" type of devotee who'd want me to be quiet and submissive and listen to his orders without any complaints? Nope, not happening. Not my cup of tea). I just want to learn the shashtras for the rest of my life and experience spiritual transformations, undergo deep realizations, learn about Krsna, and preach about Krsna.

I wish I could escape from my duties and responsibilities. Right now, at this phase of my life, Krsna has given me multiple signs that I need to get a job, make my mother proud, and give back to her and my family. But sometimes, this Rahu-induced world seems so lame, so blunt, so tasteless, so black and white, and so boring. I cannot even describe it in words. All I wanna do at this phase of my life right now is run away to the Himalayas and do tapasya there and meditate on Krsna and chant Krsna's names on my beads as a form of tapasya for Krsna.

Sorry for making this vent too long, and I'm sorry if I offended anyone by sharing my personal perspective about some things. But let's face it, all this obviously happens in ISKCON. Everybody knows this. So it doesn't make any sense to keep mum. My identity is anonymous anyways, so.....thanks for listening.

hare Krishna, dandavat pranam. I'm 24f from India. I have been practicing KC for close to 2 years now.

i have been serving Srila Prabhupada by selling his books at my associated temple, and also serving Kṛṣṇa by performing my duties. i recently just out of nowhere started thinking randomly of this one lecture i listened to of Amarendra prabhu, where he was explaining canto 7 verses where narsingha dev and prahlad maharaj have long conservations about Kṛṣṇa consciousness, about how Narsingha Deva explains the ultimate reality to prahlad maharaj after the killing of hiranyakashipu.

after narsingha dev explains everything to prahlad maharaj, prahlad maharaj tells him that he's worried about all the fallen conditioned souls who have literally no idea what self realisation is, what atman, god realisation is. they have simply been simply taking rebirth - punarapi jananam, punarapi maranam - again and again and again and again. even though i listened to this lecture many many months ago, this realisation hit me out of nowhere just 4-5 days, 1 week ago or something, idk exactly.

i have not been distributing books since the past 1 month because I'm preparing for an important exam, i will resume mu seva after my exams. but when I used to be at the book store of my temple, working my ass off and speaking for literally 30-40/45 mins to one single customer at times into convincing them and telling them why they should read the Bhagavad Gita. at times, when i try to sell them small, or medium sized books, i keep on talking and explaining to them about the contents of the books for 30-40 mins, only to be rejected by them and not buying a single book of even 20rs from me. and i would feel very disappointed

honestly, it's not even about the money, sometimes, when certain people would show up at the stall, and when they would reject buying books from me, there have been many instances where I would literally feel like shaking their shoulders really hard and telling them "WAKE UP YOU FOOL WAKE UP!!!!! DON'T YOU REALISE THAT YOU ARE IN IGNORANCE. SEEK THE LIGHT!!!! SEEK THE TRUTH YOU FOOL THIS TIME MIGHT NOT EVER COME TO YOU!!!!! SEE WHO YOU REALLY ARE!!! AWAKEN YOURSELF FROM IGNORANCE, RISE FROM IGNORANCE YOU FOOL, MURKHHHHH!! DON'T YOU REALISE HOW DISEASED AND FALLEN YOU HAVE BEEN SINCE SO MANY BIRTHS?????????? RISE!!! RISE FROM RAJAS AND TAMAS YOU FOOL!!!! MAYA HAS BEEN FOOLING YOU MUIIUIRRKHHHH GET UP!!! READ THIS FREAKING 20RS INTRODUCTION TO BHAGAVAD GITA BOOK, 30RS CIVILIZATION AND TRANSCENDENCE BOOK!!! WAKE FREAKING UP!!!!! but i control myself so much because i already know that iskcons reputation is bad because some people force our philosophy upon them. even though they do it out of compassion and care for the fallen conditioned soul, the devotees always turn out to be the culprits in ISKCON temples and even on social media. besides Prabhupada has said that it is an apradh, vaishnava apradh to try to convince, or preach Kṛṣṇa consciousness to a faithless person. so i avoid forcing anybody to buy the books from me.

there's also this same analogous story of parikshit Maharaj asking the same thing in the Bhagavatam to Sukhadeva Swami, where he asks that devotees, priests, rishis, sanyaasis, everybody will attain moksha and go back to Kṛṣṇa, but what about the conditioned souls, or normal people who have been trapped in the cycle of birth and death and do not indulge in bhakti activities at all? what shall we do about hedonists??? and both these stories really got me thinking really deep about all the people at the book store who refuse to buy books from me, and even from all the other devotees who serve at the store.

so i suddenly came up with an idea. i started thinking, that maybe i could serve srila Prabhupada through YouTube, and Target the gen-z, and even elderly people who can understand the basic fundamental principles of self realisation. i have not done the bhakti shashtri course yet, so I'm not eligible to preach the Bhagavad Gita as it is sloka by sloka on YouTube, but i was thinking that i could teach people from Prabhupada books sequence, and the basics of bhagavad gita, basics of purusharth in extremely simple terms. and i don't mean to brag, but I'm good at explaining complex things, or even simple things in an extremely smooth, butter like way. i explain certain things and concepts to someone in such a way, that they won't ever forget what I taught them. I'm extremely good at teaching, so i was thinking of serving Srila Prabhupada, my aspiring Guru maharaj, and Kṛṣṇa most importantly by spreading Kṛṣṇa consciousness through YouTube. like, i won't conduct videos, i want to conduct classes, sometimes recorded classes, sometimes live classes, depends on how many people would be interested.

but i have a few doubts. I'm aware that I'm gonna have to be very careful about what i speak in my classes. i also have to make sure that i do not perform any Vaishnava apradhs, since advancing in KC is extremely difficult, and a single mistake here and there can take away all our bhakti, and we'll have to start from zero again. so i wanted to ask a few questions regarding this:

1. from where can i find people who'll attend my classes? convincing someone on social media and telling someone about kc online (on texts, or posts i mean) is extremely difficult. so how shall i convince people to join my classes? van you give any suggestions?

2. how do i make sure that I'm not doing any Vaishnava apradh? i have heard that chastising devotees who belong to the mayavadi philosophy and criticising their philosophy openly and vocally is also an apraadh. but Prabhupada has clearly mentioned in some books how the mayavadi philosophy, or merging with void philosophy is different from ours. whenever these kind of topics come up in the books, how do i make sure that I'm not chastising the mayavadi philosophy, or even calling out mayavadi devotees the wrong way? and explaining the difference calmly, without showing any negativity towards them?

3. if i have to, or want to talk deeply about a specific topic I'm interested in (for example, explaining what achintya bhed-abheda is in detail with proper explanations, without adding any own personal interpretations of mine), how do i do research of those topics from the granthas, or the books?

I'm sorry if i overshared and made this post too long, but I've been thinking about these fallen conditioned souls/hedonists and feeling this sense of frustration, or urgency to bring the Ultimate Light/Truth to them way too much lately. the spiritual desire of me wanting to preach online is just new, so I felt like writing my intentions and my bottled feelings and thoughts openly.

your suggestions and the answers to my questions would really help me a lot in starting my channel. I'll share the link of my first video whenever I'll upload it soon. but please someone answer my questions 😅 it would mean a lot. thanks and hari bol

i used to listen to one of these, and it didnt work for me, was thinking of trying it out again, but still feeling skeptical. are there any people here who used subliminals to manifested their ex back into their life and are in a healthy relationship now, or are married to their ex and have a happily ever after with them. because i'm feeling hopeless and severely depressed honestly ever since my ex has left.

been studying the whole syllabus from harshita maharshi all this while. was thinking of watching hafsa malik psychology's (unacademy educator) free game of jrf series. are her revision lecture series worth investing my time on? do questions really get asked from whatever she teaches in her free revision videos? because my target is jrf itself, and i'm not sure whether her free lectures are fruitful or not, dont want to waste my time unnecessarily. so lemme know thanks

needed links to get access to daily darshans of these temples/dieties. whatever is available, whatsapp channel, youtube channel, telegram channel, anything. pls let me know thanks and hare krsna.

can someone please send me the link, or suggest an authentic source of iskcon from where i can download the original pdfs of these books for free? so that i can read them on my phone anytime. (I'm aware that these books are already available on vedabase software, but i usually read granthas/books on my phone since it's easily accessible for me anytime. that's why I'm asking)

feeling extremely frustrated. been following the same monotonous, boring routine daily since the past few months. i'm not even getting the time to do things which i like. itna stagnant and boring ho gaya hai life my godddd. ITS JUST SOOOOOOO FRUSTRATINGGG I CANT JUST WAIT TO BE PERMANENTLY DONE WITH THIS STUPID EXAM GODAAMNNNNNNNN ugh

i have tears in my eyes, my eyes hurt so much, i have been crying since this morning. I'm studying for an entrance exam, and the entire day i was staring at the screen and studying while crying and sobbing and wiping my tears.

i keep on getting flashbacks about my memories with my ex. he blocked me from everywhere. i feel like i have put Krishna, my mother and my brother down. idk what to do, i feel so helpless. my heart is aching, idk what to do now I can't stop crying

i have tears in my eyes, my eyes hurt so much, i have been crying since this morning. I'm studying for an entrance exam, and the entire day i was staring at the screen and studying while crying and sobbing and wiping my tears.

i keep on getting flashbacks about my memories with my ex. he blocked me from everywhere. i feel like i have put Krishna, my mother and my brother down. idk what to do, i feel so helpless. my heart is aching, idk what to do now I can't stop crying

i have tears in my eyes, my eyes hurt so much, i have been crying since this morning. I'm studying for an entrance exam, and the entire day i was staring at the screen and studying while crying and sobbing and wiping my tears.

i keep on getting flashbacks about my memories with my ex. he blocked me from everywhere. i feel like i have put Krishna, my mother and my brother down. idk what to do, i feel so helpless. my heart is aching, idk what to do now I can't stop crying

used to buy books from amazon before, but recently heard that there are many fake sellers on it who sell fake/cheap/fraud products, so i have stopped using it. also bought this book once a long time back, the printing of it was so shitty, i completely stopped buying books from there since then. now i'm thinking of swtiching to flipkart instead. or crossword stores? idk. crossword is very expensive for me

is flipkart reliable to buy paperback books? do they sell original biblio- types products on it? lemme know thanks

24f, from india. i was regularly doing pilates, yoga, tabita and hiit, cardio workouts initially early morning, but i'm preparing for an entrance exam which will be held very soon in the next couple of weeks. so i had to quit midway because of my studies. since i do not have the time to do enough exercise, i was thinking of just doing skip ropes for 5 mins [(30 sec skip, 35 sec rest x3 times) x 2 sets] 2 times a day (M & E) because i have been feeling very lethargic and lazy since i have stopped working out and i have gained weight due to being at home studying for so many months too. will doing this much of skip rope be enough to reduce visceral fat from my body and also to feel mentally and physically active/sharp? and give mysefl a little adrenaline rush? lemme know thanks