u/Big-Salamander8646

So, we have a long history of “bothering” each other with my downstairs neighbour, and because I am very anxious and non-confrontational, I admit it took me too long to talk to her about it.
It all started last summer, when it was the third week in a row that they started talking very loudly. They always started after midnight, and at 6 a.m. they were still going strong. On that particular night, it was my third night not sleeping properly, and at 4 a.m. they started to sing, so I took the broom and knocked really hard on the floor (it’s kind of a way to signal to your neighbour here). That made them shut up for the night.
But after a few months, she started knocking on her ceiling, but I was so confused because it wasn’t always immediately after something I did. For example, it would happen when I got up from bed, or when I opened a drawer or a door. It got to the point where I was very anxious about moving around in my home after 10 p.m. (the silence curfew), but I was genuinely trying to be very quiet and opened and closed everything carefully.
So I left her a note saying I wasn’t sure if she was the one knocking and if it was meant for me, but I reassured her that I tried to be very quiet and wasn’t doing any loud activities at night.
Then, after a few weeks, a strongly worded response came that she had been patient with me, but if I didn’t stop doing housework after 10 p.m., she would be required to take steps.
I finally gathered the courage to directly reach out to her, as I was genuinely confused about what she was hearing. Turns out the noise that she had confused with me doing housework was my cat (3 kg) jumping off the furniture. My cat sleeps when I sleep, but as I am a night owl, she was often awake with me after the “curfew”.
So we exchanged contacts and told each other that we could message whenever one of us was bothering the other, and she offered me the same.
But she has this habit of talking way too loudly, like she gets too carried away on the phone, and she always has guests over after 10 p.m. They get so carried away, and usually always on weeknights. I messaged her a few times asking her to be quieter. She always asked me if it was alright like this, then when I confirmed it was, there was quiet for a few minutes. Afterwards, they started to get loud again and kept talking until 4–5 a.m.
Once, I was really passive-aggressive and told her I hoped this wouldn’t go on until 4 a.m., and that was the only time they went quiet for the whole night.
She has been gone for the summer, and today she came back. But we are having major layoffs at my company, so I am already really anxious, and it’s more important than ever for me to get a good night’s sleep.
And the thing is, when they talk normally, I don’t hear every word, only distant murmuring. But they get so carried away and get louder, you know, borderline shouting, like when you are in good company, and I can hear every single word.
AITA, or is it reasonable to expect them to moderate themselves and have in mind that it’s a weeknight and it’s night, and they should try to talk normally, not so carelessly?
Would I be overreacting if I reached out to her again more firmly, saying that from now onwards, now that she is back, I won’t be able to tolerate it, and she should moderate her guests and not expect me to text her if it bothers me?
Because I think this is not a simple case of the walls being too thin. They are too loud for the night.

I know this is a long shot, but I am hopeful.

Bună, fetelor! Banii au devenit din ce în ce mai greu de strâns, și abia mă descurc lunar, nici nu prea pot să pun bani deoparte. Lucrez ca writer (technical writer for knowledge base și copy/content writer pentru SaaS academy), iar mă descurc și cu Photoshop, Figma. Am tot căutat pe LinkedIn, Google search, fără succes. Nu aș dori neapărat ca side hustle-ul să fie în aceste domenii, orice proiect decent ar fi okay. Pe lângă asta vorbesc și alte trei limbi, deci mi se pare ireal că nu găsesc nimic. Voi ce lucrați pe lângă job? Vreo recomandare unde să caut sau cum aș putea căuta mai bine?

I have had enough and want to change. I am tired of being so weird and of not being able to fit in. I am so tired of always being overlooked, no matter how hard I try it doesn’t matter if I am tjere or not, it makes no difference, I make no impact. I cannot leave good or any impressions on people, I am usually just treated like a mannequin.
I am looking for your testimonials: how did you use to be and how did others treat you? How did you manage to change? How do other react to you now?

My cat is my little everything, and I am worried sick of leaving her for 5 days. She is the sweetest, most cuddly thing, but also a total liability. She eats stuff she shouldn’t (rubber bands, hair ties, plastic, paper, you name it) and has zero sense of danger. She’s fast, curious, and startles easily, if I trip or make a sudden noise she’s gone.

We just spent 3 weeks at my parents’ and moved back home 5 days ago. Now I’ve got a 5 day trip coming up and can’t decide.

Option 1: Home alone, mum checks in daily, camera set up
Worry: longer gaps between visits if something goes wrong, though the camera helps a lot with that. I’m also genuinely scared that 5 days with so little human interaction could take a real toll on her, even with check ins and a camera.
Good thing: home is already set up the way I need it. Windows shut, no random small objects around, it’s her normal space, and I’d be way less anxious about her physical safety.

Option 2: Back to my parents’ for the 5 days
Worry: during those 3 weeks I had to remind my family more than once to close windows and the balcony door. She also bolts toward open doors when startled or when she hears people, so every check in is a chance for her to slip out. She’s also scared of my grandpa.
Good thing: so much more company and human presence around, plus she’d get to play with my family cat, which she got used to over those 3 weeks.

Leaning toward home with the camera but honestly going back and forth, the company and presence at my parents’ feels like it could matter a lot for a cat this attached to people. Anyone been in a similar spot or see something I’m missing?

Bună tuturor! Am nevoie de un sfat. Am o prietenă care locuiește în Cluj-Napoca și vreau să îi fac o surpriză. Sunt la distanță, așa că caut un gift card pe care îl pot cumpăra online acum, și pe care ea să îl poată folosi în Cluj.

Sincer

My (kinda estranged) father lives in Germany, and yesterday he told me that his retirement paperwork requires a copy of my birth certificate. Is this actually a legitimate requirement? For where I live, this seems very strange