u/Big-Shake59

I think waiting 3-6 months prior to starting a job is horrible, especially if the company is not paying you in this time period to make up for lost wages. They can at least have you come in and shadow various providers, see self-pay patients, or manage in-basket messages and results. In addition, the whole, "Enjoy your time off" when you're nearly broke and live with your parents because you have no money and you have no money because you're a new graduate and cannot start your first job for another 3-6 months. Like how tf do you expect me to enjoy my time off lol. What do y'all think about this.

Situation

I accepted a new position an cannot start for another 4-5 months as I am a healthcare provider and need to undergo credentialing. I told my parents aged 71 and 66 about this and they strongly recommended that I live with them before my job starts when I had plans of getting a locum and living away from them. I lost my temper with my parents and unloaded on them that the reason for my academic and social struggles from childhood up through adolescence and in my early 20's was because I lived in their house and that they took a s**t in their parenting and that I would rather live in a homeless shelter any day than live in their house and with them again.

Background

So I'm a 32-year old female who had a big glow up both academically and socially over the past 8-9 years. To the point that I have literally said some very diabolical things to former acquaintances and friends that I went to college with that knew me before my social and academic glow up that I have seen recently. I have even said these same diabolical things to my parents and sister. To sum everything up, just imagine an innocent, socially incompetent, a people pleaser and literally had no enemies or individuals I disliked, could never defend myself, academically challenged in which my parents were constantly getting me tutors from 4th grade -12th grade and in college getting feedback from my professors that I am "below the baseline of the average student". My parents would frequently getting me tutors and speaking with my teachers when I received a "B" in their classes, and would got me a social skills therapist all of which has been the most painful memory in my life, especially the social skills therapist who did quite an amount of demeaning and patronizing things but would used to take me to the mall and "assess how I spoke with the cashier" or nitpick every social interaction. She would literally treat me like I had autism and my parents forced me to get assessed by a psychiatrist back in the day when I was 17 who scolded at my parents and told them that It was very inappropriate of them to do considering the great conversation I had with the psychiatrist. In these 8-9 years, I have changed things up significantly and now I am very respected at work by my management and team and have a very small, but super supportive group of friends. However, my parents are extremely proud of the person I have become and always express it but deep down inside I have resentment for their parenting and the painful memories they caused me.

Saying this literally made both of them cry and say they "did their best"(I mentioned this to them on FaceTime) in which I immediately hung up.

Situation

I accepted a new position an cannot start for another 4-5 months as I am a healthcare provider and need to undergo credentialing. I told my parents aged 71 and 66 about this and they strongly recommended that I live with them before my job starts when I had plans of getting a locum and living away from them. I lost my temper with my parents and unloaded on them that the reason for my academic and social struggles from childhood up through adolescence and in my early 20's was because I lived in their house and that they took a s**t in their parenting and that I would rather live in a homeless shelter any day than live in their house and with them again.

Background

So I'm a 32-year old female who had a big glow up both academically and socially over the past 8-9 years. To the point that I have literally said some very diabolical things to former acquaintances and friends that I went to college with that knew me before my social and academic glow up that I have seen recently. I have even said these same diabolical things to my parents and sister. To sum everything up, just imagine an innocent, socially incompetent, a people pleaser and literally had no enemies or individuals I disliked, could never defend myself, academically challenged in which my parents were constantly getting me tutors from 4th grade -12th grade and in college getting feedback from my professors that I am "below the baseline of the average student". My parents would frequently getting me tutors and speaking with my teachers when I received a "B" in their classes, and would got me a social skills therapist all of which has been the most painful memory in my life, especially the social skills therapist who did quite an amount of demeaning and patronizing things but would used to take me to the mall and "assess how I spoke with the cashier" or nitpick every social interaction. She would literally treat me like I had autism and my parents forced me to get assessed by a psychiatrist back in the day when I was 17 who scolded at my parents and told them that It was very inappropriate of them to do considering the great conversation I had with the psychiatrist. In these 8-9 years, I have changed things up significantly and now I am very respected at work by my management and team and have a very small, but super supportive group of friends. However, my parents are extremely proud of the person I have become and always express it but deep down inside I have resentment for their parenting and the painful memories they caused me.

Saying this literally made both of them cry and say they "did their best"(I mentioned this to them on FaceTime) in which I immediately hung up.

This really gross person in all ways sent me a follow request on IG and I messaged him saying, Do not reach out to me again. It is very disturbing to hear from you again" Can he report me to the BON for saying this to him.

So I (32F) have significantly changed since 2021 once I turned 27. Before I turned 27, I used to be such a "ray of sunshine" according to former friends and my parents in the sense that I was always smiling and laughing, had a wonderful sense of humor, was very friendly to everyone I met, was always the first one to hit up a party and the dance floor, and honestly liked everyone and never had any enemies. I would used to make people laugh so hard. In addition, I would used so many guys, both good and bad as I had long curly hair and would always wear makeup.

Since turning 27 I feel my personality has completely changed. I don't know why it just has and honestly I love my new personality now. I dress very conservatively, do not wear makeup, don't make an effort to socialize or make new friends but I am polite, hate going to parties and hate dancing, don't have a sense of humor anymore, and look very serious in public. As I have changed I also noticed that I am able to weed out the wrong people early on. My parents, on the other hand, just had a conversation with me that they miss the old me as now I am very uptight, serious, unfriendly, don't go to parties or like dancing anymore, and get offended easily. They think I have depression but that is not the case at all. As I have stated earlier in this post I feel like I am taken so seriously now and have attracted genuine people. Why is it that they just can accept that I am no longer that person in the past.

I am now a 32-year old female and strongly reflecting that in the past up until I was 24 I used to attract and befriend very toxic and weird people. Like people who are very needy, have a poor reputation, high maintenance, manipulating, drama follows them everywhere, and those people that just have it bad(i.e: co-workers and boss hate them, friends ditched them or dropped them, have issues with their family) as well as men who literally only wanted me for sex and I specifically remember one really gross guy saying " When can I hang out with you so I can have sex with you?" I also remember these toxic girls that I would hang out with would keep saying patronizing comments like, "You're so cute" You're so adorable" "You're so loyal". As I reflect back I completely understand what the reason was: that I was a people pleaser, a doormat, untrue to myself, and lacked social skills and boundary setting skills. I also recall that all of the individuals, men and women, who had healthy and loving friendships and relationships were polite but would distant themselves from me. I also understand why too, You show me who your friends are, and I will show you who you are". This occured from grade school all the way up until the end of college. As I look back, my social life in college was a fantasy and I created castles in the sky about how close I really was with those people.

After age 24, I started getting close and hanging out with my now current friends friend group who were 180 degrees opposite from those people listed above. Very loyal, remembering birthdays and major life events, will drive out of their way to see me, and will pick me up from the airport at 2 am. And I definitely have and continue to reciprocate all these things. I decided at age 24 to take action by starting to take prerequsites to get into Nurse Practitioner school and getting closer to my group and make better friends. At the same time I sent ALL of my old and toxic "friends" a text message telling them off and that I don't want to have contact with them anymore. They respectfully accepted it and some just left me on read lol.

Fast forward today, I am a successful NP who is very respected at work and among people that I meet. I am still close with my friend group that I have maintained my friendship with even though we are in different states, we frequently facetime. However, I am still haunted by my past and the fact that I missed out on so many opportunities to meet the right type of fraternity men ( I was in a sorority) as many of the right type of fraternity would look down upon me and kept their distance from me. I have tried seeing a therapist for about 5 sessions but it hasn't improved anything. I am on meds for depression. Not to be a drama queen, but this is actually causing my body to flare up with physical pain.

I am now a 32-year old female and strongly reflecting that in the past up until I was 24 I used to attract and befriend very toxic and weird people. Like people who are very needy, have a poor reputation, high maintenance, manipulating, drama follows them everywhere, and those people that just have it bad(i.e: co-workers and boss hate them, friends ditched them or dropped them, have issues with their family) as well as men who literally only wanted me for sex and I specifically remember one really gross guy saying " When can I hang out with you so I can have sex with you?" I also remember these toxic girls that I would hang out with would keep saying patronizing comments like, "You're so cute" You're so adorable" "You're so loyal". As I reflect back I completely understand what the reason was: that I was a people pleaser, a doormat, untrue to myself, and lacked social skills and boundary setting skills. I also recall that all of the individuals, men and women, who had healthy and loving friendships and relationships were polite but would distant themselves from me. I also understand why too, You show me who your friends are, and I will show you who you are". This occured from grade school all the way up until the end of college. As I look back, my social life in college was a fantasy and I created castles in the sky about how close I really was with those people.

After age 24, I started getting close and hanging out with my now current friends friend group who were 180 degrees opposite from those people listed above. Very loyal, remembering birthdays and major life events, will drive out of their way to see me, and will pick me up from the airport at 2 am. And I definitely have and continue to reciprocate all these things. I decided at age 24 to take action by starting to take prerequsites to get into Nurse Practitioner school and getting closer to my group and make better friends. At the same time I sent ALL of my old and toxic "friends" a text message telling them off and that I don't want to have contact with them anymore. They respectfully accepted it and some just left me on read lol.

Fast forward today, I am a successful NP who is very respected at work and among people that I meet. I am still close with my friend group that I have maintained my friendship with even though we are in different states, we frequently facetime. However, I am still haunted by my past and the fact that I missed out on so many opportunities to meet the right type of fraternity men ( I was in a sorority) as many of the right type of fraternity would look down upon me and kept their distance from me. I have tried seeing a therapist for about 5 sessions but it hasn't improved anything. I am on meds for depression. Not to be a drama queen, but this is actually causing my body to flare up with physical pain.