u/Ceilingcrasher990

A lot of people in relationships don’t understand what we mean when we say we missed the boat. Here’s the best way to put it:
There are feral children who were neglected by their parents to the point they never learned to speak. By the time someone tried to teach them how to speak it’s too late. Their brain is too old to learn. That’s how I feel with social interaction and relationships.

We didn’t get those chances to learn when we were supposed to so we don’t get to now. It sucks but what’s worse is being told it’s not too late by people who don’t know what it’s like to experience this.

I never learned how to date or anything like that. My entire childhood I was bulled and abused to the point where I have become avoidant.

I don’t ask for anything but acceptance for my situation. There is zero hope for me finding someone. I can accept that but I can’t accept people telling me I’ll find someone.

I am dying alone and that is final.

Weird how being constantly told I was so ugly I should die made me not able to seek out relationships. But somehow it’s my still my fault for being fucked up. No one even helps me mourn they just coldly say “get over it!”

Fuck that I’m allowed to be pissed off at being abused so much it ruined my ability to socialize.

When I was a kid trying to socialize meant having to deal with kids calling me ugly, fat, and various ablest, and homophobic slurs. It didn’t help that I was an awkward kid with a big nose. When I started losing my hair in middle school it became worse. Socializing came with the risk of abuse. So after hearing that enough times you give up and isolate because that’s the only safe option.

What hurts those is all the people saying “they were just kids get over it.” Ok but being told you are so ugly you should die every day would drive anyone nuts. Yet as a kid I would be expected to sit there and let people say nasty things to me. If I reacted I was in trouble and the bully would get away with it.

Sorry I told the kid who called me so ugly I break mirrors to shut up??!!

You don’t really get over that level of abuse. People say “but he was 12 when he said that” are you telling me a 12 year old isn’t old enough to understand why calling people ugly is inappropriate? Are you telling me verbal abuse doesn’t count when it coming from a 12 year old??

It was traumatic. I just want to mourn this.

It’s literally just who I and I refuse to be told otherwise. I reject love as a concept. I have no love in my heart and all I have is hate!!! So when people tell me that someone will love me it hurts.

When people tell me they hate me it feels natural and safe. Hate is my norm. Hate is predictable. Hate is safe. Love is dangerous.

As the youngest in my family I relate to Dewey, especially in the first 2 seasons before he became a a secret evil genius.

For example when I was 5 my family was on vacation in the Smokey mountains. My brother and I were changing out of our swim suits when I said “You have a nice penis!” He did not appreciate the compliment. Apparently it’s considered rude to compliment your brother’s manhood.

Anyone else have a similar experience?

I was rejected by all my peers as a child. I was never accepted by anyone and bullied by all. People would tell me that that I was so ugly I should die! So now love is something I can’t experience. I was abused so much it made me refuse all love. The thought of being loved actually hurts me.

This is how I know I’m dying alone.

At least that’s what I learned as a child. If you were a kid that everyone in class hated there was nothing you could do about it. Kids were allowed to treat you like garbage everyday and if you ever defended yourself you would be punished while the kid who abused you got away with it.

And then they would wonder why we started avoiding everyone.

I hate teachers!!

I have zero love in my heart for people and I genuinely hate all humans. Yes even members of my family. Yes even you!!!

I was the product of years of neglect, social rejection, bullying and abuse. It caused me to be filled with hate!! So from now on I refuse and reject all love.

When I was a child people would literally say I was so ugly I should die. It didn’t feel good. If I said something like “Shut up” I would get in trouble. That kind of shit fucks you up for life. Not going to get better I’m going to be angry and miserable for the rest of my life because that’s what you all wanted!!