u/Charli_damelio69

I'm about 3 weeks into my job and so far I love it, I am a retail banker I at a regional bank. I do mainly teller stuff for now but have had some training on more advanced stuff like international wires and opening accounts and will be expected to do those things once fully trained.

Anyways, my bank seems to not have a ton of traffic most days of the week, in my opinion we have about twice the retail staff than we need(2 drive thru 4 lobby) but hey, I wont complain about having a job and having more coworkers. Throughout my time here, I have had lots of off time most days and spend my time learning how to do the more advanced stuff. The only days I'm actually working my ass off are fridays. Today and last friday were the worst since we were missing a lot of people due to employment gaps and people taking pto.

Last friday I was off by 50 cents, and I was embarrassed, my managers did not make a big deal of it but I was ashamed. Today I was off by nearly 45 dollars and I can't stand it. My managers brushed it off like its normal, a lot of my coworkers have stories about all the times they were off, and it seems like no big deal to anyone but me. Being off 50 cents was sort of whatever but 45 dollars makes me feel like a dip shit.

I feel like I do a good job of trying to stay balanced at all times, I try to do as little work with my drawer possible, and use the TCR for most things, I try to use the money counter instead of counting by hand, and I try to proof my drawer as soon as I have used it. It feels like I'm doing my absolute best to optimize my proofing but still end up short. I also make a habit of not letting money lay around too long before either putting it in my drawer or the tcr.

By the time I figured out I was off, it was at the end of the day, and we all clocked out, so I wont be able to go through my logs and stuff until next week to see what happened.

It seems as routine with my coworkers that we do not go through our drawers at the end of the day if our data shows we are still in balance before we put up our drawer. Because of this I followed suit. Yesterday my drawer showed that it was in balance so I locked it up and called it a day, this morning I go to proof my drawer and I am off by $5 and it turned out I counted $160 in rolled dimes this morning but my log from the previous day showed I had $155 in rolled dimes. I'm not sure how I was in balance the day before since I had mis-counted, there was physically $160 in dimes. After that I tried to stay careful but ended up being another $40 short thus equalling the $45 overall.

My biggest question is how do you guys learn from your mistakes if you dont know what exact transaction or decision lead to you being off, and how is it possible for me to be in balance when I had miscounted the dimes?

My best advice for getting over limerance is not the typical “find someone else” as this can take an undefined amount of time as well and will often not help you if you are talking to this new person to “replace” the person you are in limerence over.

My best advice is actually finding a productive hobby or doing things to “fix” or improve your life. Do some observing and find areas you lack in and start working on them.

I was in deep limerence over someone for over six months. Thought about them at least once an hour every single day. I then started to feel very insecure about myself and started going to the gym, dressing nicer, being more organized and using my time more valuably. I had also doubled down on finding a career as at the time I was not gainfully employed.

The thoughts of the person stayed but my feeling of being insecure was vanishing, after losing weight and making real world improvement I now had self confidence.

I finally landed the job I wanted 2 weeks ago and my limerence is pretty much gone, I’m still bummed I dont have a partner or at least one in the works but at least I’m not fixated on this one person and thinking they are the “end all be all”.

My life had a lot of room to improve and I used how this person made me feel as fuel to work hard on improving it. While this situation does not directly apply to everyone I feel like making yourself busy gives you less downtime to be in your thoughts be it good or bad ones and accomplishing something or working on your own life can make you less concerned with what your life is lacking.

I (23M) went on a date with (22F) back in November of last year. She was not my initial type(petite skinny) and was a little taller, bigger, and was kind of unattractive to me in her pictures but I said fuck it after talking for a few weeks and asked her out. The date went great and I found myself very attracted to the way she carried herself, how ambitious she was, and it made me feel dumb in comparison. Things fizzled out quickly due to her ghosting me and then getting a bf. However she never unadded me or unfollowed me on anything and would always see my posts/stories.

I liked her so much, and could not contain the anxious thoughts or limerence about her that I ended up becoming self aware and improving my life to “show her she was wrong”. Over the last 6 months I lost 30lbs, gained muscle(which was partly inspired by the fact she always talked about and posted about the gym and fitness) started dressing well, having discipline, and overall becoming an adult instead of an immature and lazy post grad college kid. I just recently got a full time job with decent pay and a nice job title with a very clear upwards career path as well as a place to stay(ive been living with parents up until now and I move out in a few months).

She saw all of this, over the course of six months, I kind of had a motivation to improve and attempt to show that off in the most humble and socially acceptable way possible on social media and she would always see it. I even saw her one time at the gym and saw her notice me but I wasnt ever going to say anything.

A few days ago I posted about my new job, she never showed up as a viewer and I was checking constantly, the next day I noticed she unfollowed me on insta. I of course unfollow back but it made me think, “why?”. I also double checked our mutuals that we had and she unfollowed some of them, so it might mean she did some sort of clean up. However why constantly view my shit if you are going to “clean me out”.

Overall, I just dont know what to think, on one hand I cant believe the amount of thought, anxiety, yearning etc. can come from one date with a woman I wasnt all that excited about from the get go. On the other hand I’m impressed at how much of a change it caused in my habits and personality. I went from being the most lazy and useless person ever, to becoming a bit of a workaholic and organized.

Back to the main topic, why would she constantly view my stuff just to unfollow? Was there a reason behind the unfollow? And I wonder what she thought of the obvious improvement. One of the people she unfollowed was actually an old buddy of mine she talked to for awhile long before me. And the other one was this chick I used to be platonically friends with that ended up being a pathological liar that after venting about this situation to, followed her on insta and proceeded to make up a fake story to how she knew her, and the woman in question followed her back. Her following count didnt seem to drop by much, but again I never paid full attention to it. I hope I find someone that can take all the attention I have to give and I hope I continue to achieve great things despite not having “someone to impress” to show it to.

For context I have been in the gym for about 5 months. I was a recent college grad who was having trouble figuring out what I wanted to do and was struggling to land a full time job. Because of this, I had plenty of time to spend at the gym, as well as on my dieting. 5 months later, I have gone from 215 to 179, I have went down sizes in pants and shirt, and have changed my life. I start my full time job in two days. While I am very grateful I have finally landed a job in a career path I am very excited about, I am also feeling a bit stressed about how it will all go and how I will perform. I'm sure these feelings will subside once I have gotten used to the job, however it still makes me worried about being able to stay disciplined on the gym, and if I will continue to put in the same effort I have been. To be honest I have noticed my discipline surrounding the gym and my overall obsession with it starting to slip in the last week or so and it does have me worried. I'm sure I'm just going through the motions of change at the moment but some advice on how you all incorporate it in your life while working or how you have calmed yourself down when adapting to change in your life would be a great help.