u/Chocominto7

Hey, I'm 30F and enjoy chatting about random things and daily life stuff such as hobbies, lifestyle, k-pop, sports, pokemon, language learning, different cultures (sharing each other's way of seeing the world; different countries/cities).

I love animals, weightlifting, food and a bunch of other interests (trust me I'm very random) LOL

Strictly searching for friendship (No romantic relationship). Preferred range of age: 25-35.

DM me if you can relate to at least 3 of the topics I mentioned 🙂

The title is very straightforward and I (f30) am starting to get upset in some situations due to my boyfriend's (m34) lack of awareness about being on time.

I'd give many situations where this behavior repeats itself but I'll try summarizing it. We used to work together during our university's internship days for around 4 years, being 2 years at the University's extension program for elderlies and 2 more years at the sport's club teaching sports. And let me tell you, he was on time most of the times but I could see he's likely to be late whenever he felt a bit more relaxed (?), like when there's no consequences for being late (special events for example instead of plain working).

He gets late often for our dates, church, appointments, or anything that requires him to bem on time. I don't think he acts like that on purpose or because he doesn't care since he's like this with everything and everyone, but it's kinda irritating me.

Plenty of times I'm somewhere with parents or friends around and he hasn't arrived yet people keep asking me "where is he, is he coming?" And I don't even know what to say especially during morning schedules because he can't wake up in time and end up being late... I bring the topic sometimes but lightly like the day before we have something in the morning I tell him "please don't stay up late and try to rest because we'll meet at 9 am" or something around the lines of it but it doesn't work much...

**TL;DR: how should I talk to him about how much is important to me he's on time for our schedules and dates?**

I mean everyone can have their opinions on whatever in the world but when you actually take time to type it on the internet to everybody read it including the artists you supposedly love and care it's just disrespectful.

Put yourself in their place: you post a pic with someone and then your comment section, people who saw the pic, web articles, tweets, etc IS ALL ABOUT PEOPLE SPECULATING WHAT'S YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH SO AND SO.

I hated when people assumed I was dating my bff bc we're always together and often show affection.

Which makes me think, some fans might be very deprived of a healthy social life because wdym members hugging, touching or looking at each other is a reason to assume people are gay/bi/straight/dating/cheating/whatever? It's all human interactions, a normal thing to do. And if they are doing anything we don't know that's their private lives and we should respect their decisions to not make it public if they don't want to.

Gosh that's annoying 🙄

I mean everyone can have their opinions on whatever in the world but when you actually take time to type it on the internet to everybody read it including the artists you supposedly love and care it's just disrespectful.

Put yourself in their place: you post a pic with someone and then your comment section, people who saw the pic, web articles, tweets, etc IS ALL ABOUT PEOPLE SPECULATING WHAT'S YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH SO AND SO.

I hated when people assumed I was dating my bff bc we're always together and often show affection.

Which makes me think, some fans might be very deprived of a healthy social life because wdym members hugging, touching or looking at each other is a reason to assume people are gay/bi/straight/dating/cheating/whatever? It's all human interactions, a normal thing to do. And if they are doing anything we don't know that's their private lives and we should respect their decisions to not make it public if they don't want to.

Gosh that's annoying 🙄

Antes de apresentar o motivo da minha irritação com esse tópico, ressalto que estou me referindo à cena explicita e longa com nud3z e as diversas formas de s3xo que surgem sem precedentes no meio do filme/série. Não é uma questão de gostar ou não, é uma questão de necessidade. De tantas narrativas que já assisti em filmes e séries, muitas vezes a cena é bem desnecessária e irrelevante para o restante da história. Beleza se a cena acontece pq tem personagens que se envolvem e leva a isso, faz sentido. Mas, sinceramente, acho que tantos detalhes e a pouca censura combinada com a duração tão longa da cena acaba ficando desconfortável de assistir em público. Por exemplo, tá difícil sentar na sala e colocar um filme pra assistir com meus pais, namorado, irmãos e etc. Sem contar que não faz diferença eu saber t-u-d-o que rolou lá no oba-oba do casal.

Posso estar equivocada, mas me parece uma forma de apelar para atenção de alguns públicos para assistirem a obra, principalmente quando tem atores/atrizes conhecidos e com corpos convencionalmente atraentes.

As the title says, is this a pattern or enjoying being tipsy/drunk has no correlation with personality?

I ask this completely out of curiosity as an INTP who haven't touched alcohol in my whole 30 years alive.

EDIT: Thank you to all your comments about this topic! It really made me think about some of the possible reasons people resort to alcohol (socially or heavily). My input is: while a lot of you drink to "stop the thoughts" I love thinking and being aware of every single thing, só alcohol would be a no no 🤷🏻‍♀️ Drinking or not, stay physically and mentally healthy, everyone! 😌

This is gonna be long so sit down for it...

Part 1: The beginning of a group chat community 🗨️🇯🇵🎶

It all started a bit before the pandemic happened (2019) when I joined a AKB48 (j-pop group) d\*\*cord server focused on two of the group's members. It was all good and fun for a long time since we got a good community going, server's well organized, good fan environment and great cultural exchange since it was the first international group chat for this topic and, more, getting to know those 100+ people since the beginning created a since of friendship between some of us who felt more affinity towards each other.

Part 2: Making friends was easy (2020-2021) 🙂💻

Think about it, it was the moment the world was living in isolation with excessive free time (except for the front liners, respect for them) and had this craving for filling our times at home with any hobbies and the most content of our liking possible. As I said before, some of us would be more active on the "off-topic" and "voice-chat" channels where we'd talk about anything, share how our day was, personal interests, language exchange and much more. With that, some of us would coincidentally be online around the same time daily and become closer as time passed.

Part 3: The server inside the server 👩🏻‍💻🤫

To put it shortly, I became part of one of this small group of friends where we created a separate server with only 6 of us. We really grew close and I could honestly call us friends, that's how I felt about all of them although I was closer to other people there (the main j-pop server) as well since we had a group of PUBG mobile players and used to play for many hours a day while on voice-chat.

Anyways, time passed, the 6-people server dissolved as we grew apart with time and also some weird gossip/love triangle issues. While that happened, that's when naturally the PUBG girls grew closer without drama.

Part 4: The PUBG girls server: The obsession starts🙄

Ok, so time passed and we all became friends but particularly me plus 3 other girls (let's call them L, T, and D). We were the main squad in PUBG since we played more hours than the other two, so we'd spend more time together (I'm talking like 6-7h a day) playing/chatting. I also chatted them privately since we became friends after all, shared our struggles, entertained each other with random blabbing, etc. The girl who mostly would text me to call, play or whatever was L. It was like that friend who has a hard life and I'm here trying to ease the pain by being present and making sure she's ok and happy.

While D and T were more chill and natural with our talks and time together, L always had this tone of making me worried about her, saying she don't know what to do with her life without me so it was dramatic plus that heavy uneasy feeling...

Part 5: Unrequited love and toxic behavior 💔☣️

As you see the title, L claims she was in love with me and was wondering if I'd give her a chance to grow this feeling together with her. I did not share the same feelings for her at all, except for the fact I cared for her and wanted the best for her as a friend. I let her know and that I know it isn't an easy thing getting your feelings rejected and continue friends with the person, so I gave her all the space she needed but didn't shut down in case she still wanted me as her friend. Which she did, well, at least that's what it looked like at first.

Not long after the confession, she started being rude to D (remember we were all friends) by obviously ignoring/isolating her while we're all in group calls, randomly asking me personal things about D and later I found out she was asking T to avoid D as well. I thought it was weird and confronted her about it, like what's her deal. She said I've been spending too much time with D and not with her and that made her jealous. Because she heard me laughing, having fun with D while we played or in group calls and she couldn't have that all to herself. I'm like what?! I told her I'm the one who gets to decide who I talk to and spend time with and that's nothing wrong or exclusive to her. After that she went silent for 5 days and for some reason I was very scared because she often mentioned self \*arming and wanted to end it all. Mind you that's one of the reasons I kept trying to make things peaceful between us so she wouldn't do anything bad to herself...

Part 6: The stalker behavior went too far 🕵🏻‍♀️

Then 5 days later she returned with a huuuge text basically saying "my mistake is loving you so much and wanting you only to myself" and "we live in different sides of the world and that's the only thing stopping me from finding you".

Not gonna lie, I froze. And it was very hard for me dealing with this because as far as I know I didn't do anything wrong to her or to anyone. I'm not talking highly of myself but people always see me as the pacifist who wants to fix conflicts without hurting any parties. When I realized how big this whole thing became I didn't know how to feel and thankfully I had D and T's support on this period of my life because I was feeling guilty for awaking this toxic behavior in L by not being able to love her like she wanted.

A day after the huge text (or should I call it threat?) I replied apologizing for whatever behavior of mine hurt her since it was never my intention, made sure I'm tired of being manipulated by her words (she was spreading lies about D) and I'd appreciate if she stopped with all of that since it's better for all of us. She replied with this emoji 😊 saying I don't need to worry because I will never hear about that again... I know, creepy. Oh, i forgot to mention she kept asking weird questions on my curiouscat at that time about my sexuality, relationship status and unriquited love situations. I'm sure it was her because English isn't her first language and she has a very distinct typing id (punctuation, spacing, same typos, etc).

Around 2 months later she created a new PUBG mobile account and added me by searching my player id. In the game you can see how the person found you, like id search or match played together for example. I accepted kinda suspicious bc her name was a bit obvious (referencing those j-pop members) and on top of that her texting identity was the same I knew. She lied about her nationality and age but with the same bday... Anyway.

I just confronted her directly and said "please go get help and don't contact me anymore".

Years after, I still saw numerous unknown accounts with zero activities on IG checking my stories or liking all my posts and I always block them but they find me again. I don't have any proof it's her but who would it be?

I hope someday she finds the help she needs and stop the toxic behavior for her own sake.

Conclusion 💬

Be careful what you get into when you don't fully know people's true intentions. And I know it's cheesy to say "don't trust everyone or don't disclose personal information with unknown people online" but it is dangerous if you find people obsessed with you... I'm glad this girl can't come to my house or workplace but she'll still find me online unfortunately.

The bright side ☀️ 👩🏻‍❤️‍👩🏻

It was a bittersweet experience this whole discord friends thing, but if anything good came out of that was D being my best friend until this day. We're the best thing happened without exaggerating. We talk frequently, video call, play together, know/talk to each other's families and friends and are genuinely non problematic at all.

Thank you for reading this far until the end. That was my experience and I hope you never have to deal with emotional manipulation, guilt tripping, gaslighting and an actual stalker. Stay safe y'all 🙂🙏🏻

This is gonna be long so sit down for it...

Part 1: The beginning of a group chat community 🗨️🇯🇵🎶

It all started a bit before the pandemic happened (2019) when I joined a AKB48 (j-pop group) d\*\*cord server focused on two of the group's members. It was all good and fun for a long time since we got a good community going, server's well organized, good fan environment and great cultural exchange since it was the first international group chat for this topic and, more, getting to know those 100+ people since the beginning created a since of friendship between some of us who felt more affinity towards each other.

Part 2: Making friends was easy (2020-2021) 🙂💻

Think about it, it was the moment the world was living in isolation with excessive free time (except for the front liners, respect for them) and had this craving for filling our times at home with any hobbies and the most content of our liking possible. As I said before, some of us would be more active on the "off-topic" and "voice-chat" channels where we'd talk about anything, share how our day was, personal interests, language exchange and much more. With that, some of us would coincidentally be online around the same time daily and become closer as time passed.

Part 3: The server inside the server 👩🏻‍💻🤫

To put it shortly, I became part of one of this small group of friends where we created a separate server with only 6 of us. We really grew close and I could honestly call us friends, that's how I felt about all of them although I was closer to other people there (the main j-pop server) as well since we had a group of PUBG mobile players and used to play for many hours a day while on voice-chat.

Anyways, time passed, the 6-people server dissolved as we grew apart with time and also some weird gossip/love triangle issues. While that happened, that's when naturally the PUBG girls grew closer without drama.

Part 4: The PUBG girls server: The obsession starts🙄

Ok, so time passed and we all became friends but particularly me plus 3 other girls (let's call them L, T, and D). We were the main squad in PUBG since we played more hours than the other two, so we'd spend more time together (I'm talking like 6-7h a day) playing/chatting. I also chatted them privately since we became friends after all, shared our struggles, entertained each other with random blabbing, etc. The girl who mostly would text me to call, play or whatever was L. It was like that friend who has a hard life and I'm here trying to ease the pain by being present and making sure she's ok and happy.

While D and T were more chill and natural with our talks and time together, L always had this tone of making me worried about her, saying she don't know what to do with her life without me so it was dramatic plus that heavy uneasy feeling...

Part 5: Unrequited love and toxic behavior 💔☣️

As you see the title, L claims she was in love with me and was wondering if I'd give her a chance to grow this feeling together with her. I did not share the same feelings for her at all, except for the fact I cared for her and wanted the best for her as a friend. I let her know and that I know it isn't an easy thing getting your feelings rejected and continue friends with the person, so I gave her all the space she needed but didn't shut down in case she still wanted me as her friend. Which she did, well, at least that's what it looked like at first.

Not long after the confession, she started being rude to D (remember we were all friends) by obviously ignoring/isolating her while we're all in group calls, randomly asking me personal things about D and later I found out she was asking T to avoid D as well. I thought it was weird and confronted her about it, like what's her deal. She said I've been spending too much time with D and not with her and that made her jealous. Because she heard me laughing, having fun with D while we played or in group calls and she couldn't have that all to herself. I'm like what?! I told her I'm the one who gets to decide who I talk to and spend time with and that's nothing wrong or exclusive to her. After that she went silent for 5 days and for some reason I was very scared because she often mentioned self \*arming and wanted to end it all. Mind you that's one of the reasons I kept trying to make things peaceful between us so she wouldn't do anything bad to herself...

Part 6: The stalker behavior went too far 🕵🏻‍♀️

Then 5 days later she returned with a huuuge text basically saying "my mistake is loving you so much and wanting you only to myself" and "we live in different sides of the world and that's the only thing stopping me from finding you".

Not gonna lie, I froze. And it was very hard for me dealing with this because as far as I know I didn't do anything wrong to her or to anyone. I'm not talking highly of myself but people always see me as the pacifist who wants to fix conflicts without hurting any parties. When I realized how big this whole thing became I didn't know how to feel and thankfully I had D and T's support on this period of my life because I was feeling guilty for awaking this toxic behavior in L by not being able to love her like she wanted.

A day after the huge text (or should I call it threat?) I replied apologizing for whatever behavior of mine hurt her since it was never my intention, made sure I'm tired of being manipulated by her words (she was spreading lies about D) and I'd appreciate if she stopped with all of that since it's better for all of us. She replied with this emoji 😊 saying I don't need to worry because I will never hear about that again... I know, creepy. Oh, i forgot to mention she kept asking weird questions on my curiouscat at that time about my sexuality, relationship status and unriquited love situations. I'm sure it was her because English isn't her first language and she has a very distinct typing id (punctuation, spacing, same typos, etc).

Around 2 months later she created a new PUBG mobile account and added me by searching my player id. In the game you can see how the person found you, like id search or match played together for example. I accepted kinda suspicious bc her name was a bit obvious (referencing those j-pop members) and on top of that her texting identity was the same I knew. She lied about her nationality and age but with the same bday... Anyway.

I just confronted her directly and said "please go get help and don't contact me anymore".

Years after, I still saw numerous unknown accounts with zero activities on IG checking my stories or liking all my posts and I always block them but they find me again. I don't have any proof it's her but who would it be?

I hope someday she finds the help she needs and stop the toxic behavior for her own sake.

Conclusion 💬

Be careful what you get into when you don't fully know people's true intentions. And I know it's cheesy to say "don't trust everyone or don't disclose personal information with unknown people online" but it is dangerous if you find people obsessed with you... I'm glad this girl can't come to my house or workplace but she'll still find me online unfortunately.

The bright side ☀️ 👩🏻‍❤️‍👩🏻

It was a bittersweet experience this whole discord friends thing, but if anything good came out of that was D being my best friend until this day. We're the best thing happened without exaggerating. We talk frequently, video call, play together, know/talk to each other's families and friends and are genuinely non problematic at all.

Thank you for reading this far until the end. That was my experience and I hope you never have to deal with emotional manipulation, guilt tripping, gaslighting and an actual stalker. Stay safe y'all 🙂🙏🏻

This is gonna be long so sit down for it...

Part 1: The beginning of a group chat community 🗨️🇯🇵🎶

It all started a bit before the pandemic happened (2019) when I joined a AKB48 (j-pop group) d**cord server focused on two of the group's members. It was all good and fun for a long time since we got a good community going, server's well organized, good fan environment and great cultural exchange since it was the first international group chat for this topic and, more, getting to know those 100+ people since the beginning created a since of friendship between some of us who felt more affinity towards each other.

Part 2: Making friends was easy (2020-2021) 🙂💻

Think about it, it was the moment the world was living in isolation with excessive free time (except for the front liners, respect for them) and had this craving for filling our times at home with any hobbies and the most content of our liking possible. As I said before, some of us would be more active on the "off-topic" and "voice-chat" channels where we'd talk about anything, share how our day was, personal interests, language exchange and much more. With that, some of us would coincidentally be online around the same time daily and become closer as time passed.

Part 3: The server inside the server 👩🏻‍💻🤫

To put it shortly, I became part of one of this small group of friends where we created a separate server with only 6 of us. We really grew close and I could honestly call us friends, that's how I felt about all of them although I was closer to other people there (the main j-pop server) as well since we had a group of PUBG mobile players and used to play for many hours a day while on voice-chat.

Anyways, time passed, the 6-people server dissolved as we grew apart with time and also some weird gossip/love triangle issues. While that happened, that's when naturally the PUBG girls grew closer without drama.

Part 4: The PUBG girls server: The obsession starts🙄

Ok, so time passed and we all became friends but particularly me plus 3 other girls (let's call them L, T, and D). We were the main squad in PUBG since we played more hours than the other two, so we'd spend more time together (I'm talking like 6-7h a day) playing/chatting. I also chatted them privately since we became friends after all, shared our struggles, entertained each other with random blabbing, etc. The girl who mostly would text me to call, play or whatever was L. It was like that friend who has a hard life and I'm here trying to ease the pain by being present and making sure she's ok and happy.

While D and T were more chill and natural with our talks and time together, L always had this tone of making me worried about her, saying she don't know what to do with her life without me so it was dramatic plus that heavy uneasy feeling...

Part 5: Unrequited love and toxic behavior 💔☣️

As you see the title, L claims she was in love with me and was wondering if I'd give her a chance to grow this feeling together with her. I did not share the same feelings for her at all, except for the fact I cared for her and wanted the best for her as a friend. I let her know and that I know it isn't an easy thing getting your feelings rejected and continue friends with the person, so I gave her all the space she needed but didn't shut down in case she still wanted me as her friend. Which she did, well, at least that's what it looked like at first.

Not long after the confession, she started being rude to D (remember we were all friends) by obviously ignoring/isolating her while we're all in group calls, randomly asking me personal things about D and later I found out she was asking T to avoid D as well. I thought it was weird and confronted her about it, like what's her deal. She said I've been spending too much time with D and not with her and that made her jealous. Because she heard me laughing, having fun with D while we played or in group calls and she couldn't have that all to herself. I'm like what?! I told her I'm the one who gets to decide who I talk to and spend time with and that's nothing wrong or exclusive to her. After that she went silent for 5 days and for some reason I was very scared because she often mentioned self *arming and wanted to end it all. Mind you that's one of the reasons I kept trying to make things peaceful between us so she wouldn't do anything bad to herself...

Part 6: The stalker behavior went too far 🕵🏻‍♀️

Then 5 days later she returned with a huuuge text basically saying "my mistake is loving you so much and wanting you only to myself" and "we live in different sides of the world and that's the only thing stopping me from finding you".

Not gonna lie, I froze. And it was very hard for me dealing with this because as far as I know I didn't do anything wrong to her or to anyone. I'm not talking highly of myself but people always see me as the pacifist who wants to fix conflicts without hurting any parties. When I realized how big this whole thing became I didn't know how to feel and thankfully I had D and T's support on this period of my life because I was feeling guilty for awaking this toxic behavior in L by not being able to love her like she wanted.

A day after the huge text (or should I call it threat?) I replied apologizing for whatever behavior of mine hurt her since it was never my intention, made sure I'm tired of being manipulated by her words (she was spreading lies about D) and I'd appreciate if she stopped with all of that since it's better for all of us. She replied with this emoji 😊 saying I don't need to worry because I will never hear about that again... I know, creepy. Oh, i forgot to mention she kept asking weird questions on my curiouscat at that time about my sexuality, relationship status and unriquited love situations. I'm sure it was her because English isn't her first language and she has a very distinct typing id (punctuation, spacing, same typos, etc).

Around 2 months later she created a new PUBG mobile account and added me by searching my player id. In the game you can see how the person found you, like id search or match played together for example. I accepted kinda suspicious bc her name was a bit obvious (referencing those j-pop members) and on top of that her texting identity was the same I knew. She lied about her nationality and age but with the same bday... Anyway.

I just confronted her directly and said "please go get help and don't contact me anymore".

Years after, I still saw numerous unknown accounts with zero activities on IG checking my stories or liking all my posts and I always block them but they find me again. I don't have any proof it's her but who would it be?

I hope someday she finds the help she needs and stop the toxic behavior for her own sake.

Conclusion 💬

Be careful what you get into when you don't fully know people's true intentions. And I know it's cheesy to say "don't trust everyone or don't disclose personal information with unknown people online" but it is dangerous if you find people obsessed with you... I'm glad this girl can't come to my house or workplace but she'll still find me online unfortunately.

The bright side ☀️ 👩🏻‍❤️‍👩🏻

It was a bittersweet experience this whole discord friends thing, but if anything good came out of that was D being my best friend until this day. We're the best thing happened without exaggerating. We talk frequently, video call, play together, know/talk to each other's families and friends and are genuinely non problematic at all.

Thank you for reading this far until the end. That was my experience and I hope you never have to deal with emotional manipulation, guilt tripping, gaslighting and an actual stalker. Stay safe y'all 🙂🙏🏻

F30, she/her. I just wanna know if y'all are as random as me like I couldn't pick a hobby/interest for a living. I've always been very artsy, sporty, gamer, into world culture and languages, tech savvy and literally can't get out of this bubble. In fact, this had made me feel very unsure of what to do career wise when I was younger and it's the reason I had to switch majors (IT -> Phys. Ed.) after considering so many other courses... Is this a thing among us INTP or am an outlier?

I absolutely loved watching Invincible Youth back in the day and I miss this type of content with a similar tone to the whole thing. I now there are some content that tries doing the same as going to a rural area and spending the night there while helping villagers but not like this fun and full of games. And the casting btw was incredible, like Kim Shin-young, Sunny, Han Seon-hwa, Narsha, Victoria Song, Kwon Yuri, Goo Hara, Hyomin, Hyoyeon, Bora and so many more iconic idols...