u/Classic-Reality-257

I have ADHD and possibly autism (highly suspected by my treatment providers but I don’t want to pay to get officially diagnosed). My job is very systems oriented so I naturally good at it and it feeds my need for affirmation. I also work with vulnerable populations so I deeply care about my work. That being said, I get into a hyperfocus mode where I am really good at my job but it’s awful for me. I don’t take my breaks and I just burn myself to the ground. I know I need to take breaks because then I can fill my cup and do the things I need to be healthy. The thing is I can’t stop. I’m so locked in that I will literally bleed myself dry of all energy and be useless for my family. I’ve tried alarms to signal me that it’s break time but that doesn’t seem to work either. I have a pattern of burning myself out so completely that I have large mental health repercussions where I have to take medical leave, and I just don’t want to do that anymore because I know what I need to do take care of myself but I just can’t seem to access it.

Anyone else have this? And how did you break the cycle? All insight is very appreciated.

I recently found out that my teen (13) has been smoking weed, skipping school, and hates me. Now, it’s not like I’m blindsided by this as I have known something is up for a while. She has gone through an assessment recently and has AuDHD. She is also in regular counselling biweekly.

Now, we don’t have a the worst relationship. She texts me often. Keeps me updated where she is. Comes home and does homework when asked. So, it’s not at the absolute rock bottom we could be. I know some of the “hates me” things could be just normal teen angst, but I obviously take it very seriously and we will be see counselling together from here forward.

I’m thinking of home schooling her - not as a punishment but some way to ensure she receives the support she needs and allow for more flexibility in scheduling. I don’t know what to do about the smoking weed and her friends as they are not good influences. I know cutting them off may be worse as she is giving pretty clear signals that she’s not receiving the support at home that she is seeking and her friends are a big part of her support system - even though somewhat detrimental currently.

I want to talk to her about it and talk about skipping school/cannabis use. I want to have consequences and have steps forwards, but I don’t know where to start. I know “ruling like a dictator” and taking everything away will probably have her pushing back more but I also can’t let this slide either.

Would love any insight from parents or former troubled teens what worked for them before approaching her on this topic.

I recently found out that my teen (13) has been smoking weed, skipping school, and hates me. Now, it’s not like I’m blindsided by this as I have known something is up for a while. She has gone through an assessment recently and has AuDHD. She is also in regular counselling biweekly.

Now, we don’t have a the worst relationship. She texts me often. Keeps me updated where she is. Comes home and does homework when asked. So, it’s not at the absolute rock bottom we could be. I know some of the “hates me” things could be just normal teen angst, but I obviously take it very seriously and we will be see counselling together from here forward.

I’m thinking of home schooling her - not as a punishment but some way to ensure she receives the support she needs and allow for more flexibility in scheduling. I don’t know what to do about the smoking weed and her friends as they are not good influences. I know cutting them off may be worse as she is giving pretty clear signals that she’s not receiving the support at home that she is seeking and her friends are a big part of her support system - even though somewhat detrimental currently.

I want to talk to her about it and talk about skipping school/cannabis use. I want to have consequences and have steps forwards, but I don’t know where to start. I know “ruling like a dictator” and taking everything away will probably have her pushing back more but I also can’t let this slide either.

Would love any insight from parents or former troubled teens what worked for them before approaching her on this topic.