u/Conscious_Reveal10

So basically, i met this guy 4 months ago and we got into a relationship 3 months ago, let's call him "Y" Last night he told me that we don't have a future together because his family is strict and they won't approve of us. I was devastated, angry and hurt. I told him he shouldn't have come close to me, kiss me, touch me (we didn't have sex btw) when he knew we don't have a future together and he should've told me this sooner and basically at the start of the relationship. It was very unfair. Also my past relationship was not good at all, let's call him 'X' , he cheated on me, mentally and emotionally harrassed me, slapped me, he completely ruined my mental health.

So the worst part is I already told Y about X and I told him multiple times that don't keep me in the dark, don't hurt me, he knew that I'm thinking about the future and that's why I was ready to get into this relationship but he still chose not to tell me that we don't have a future together at all.. I feel betrayed again.

Am I overthinking?

So basically, i met this guy 4 months ago and we got into a relationship 3 months ago, let's call him "Y" Last night he told me that we don't have a future together because his family is strict and they won't approve of us. I was devastated, angry and hurt. I told him he shouldn't have come close to me, kiss me, touch me (we didn't have sex btw) when he knew we don't have a future together and he should've told me this sooner and basically at the start of the relationship. It was very unfair. Also my past relationship was not good at all, let's call him 'X' , he cheated on me, mentally and emotionally harrassed me, slapped me, he completely ruined my mental health.

So the worst part is I already told Y about X and I told him multiple times that don't keep me in the dark, don't hurt me, he knew that I'm thinking about the future and that's why I was ready to get into this relationship but he still chose not to tell me that we don't have a future together at all.. I feel betrayed again.

Am I overthinking?

I'm a bca student, I'm in my 3rd year now. The problem is that my college will also be going side by side. Please guide me, and be realistic about whether I'll make it or not. I consider myself as above avarage student, I've selected my teacher for maths btw, rakesh yadav sir (his vod batch). I'm not at home right now and I'll be back on the 3rd, that's why I won't be able to start my preparation from now on only.

I (21F) had a huge fight with my dad, over something which was very silly. For some context: I've not been very active for the last few days, not studying or doing anything productive. I've also failed in multiple competitive exams in the past and have failed and dissapointed my parents multiple times for other reasons as well. My father has high blood pressure and I'm always very concerned about him..I do love him a lot and care for him and I'm already in so much guilt that I've disappointed them since I was born and have never done anything in return.

So basically, yesterday I was sitting in my room, using my phone and scrolling reels and stuff and I was using AC. After few mins my father walked into the room and said switch off the AC and turned off the AC and I got really upset because it was very hot yesterday and I never usually use AC, I turned it on just 5 mins ago. So he started saying somethings in anger, I also argued back and said some things. After few seconds, he started beating me with his footwear, i was arguing a lot and I was at my peak anger and I said " yea hit me, that's all you've ever done, i really don't care how much you hit me" I said how failed you are as a father, you don't even care about your own friends, you back bitch about them and then goes back to them(it definitely triggered him more) I said he's the worst father. He also said stuff like, I wish you were dead , i wish you kill yourself, i don't have any affection for you and stuff like that. I started crying a lot and has a literal breakdown kinda thing and said harsh words to him, i don't even remember much but it was mainly that he's not a good father and I've turned like this because of his bad parenting and he's responsible for my bad traits and behaviour and everything that's been going wrong in my life. I'm not proud of this and I feel i was very wrong and rude.

Anyway, I've been in guilt since then, I was very rude as well, and said really mean things and I know he's a overthinker and has high blood pressure and not doing good health wise and I think stress might make this situation worse. We haven't talked since then. He has been silent too, I know he loves me. It just breaks my heart fighting with him like this. I miss the good old days when me and my father were In really good terms. Also, my mother and my brother supported me in this whole situation and calmed me down .

Give me some advice to deal with this situation.

Pata hai aaj kya hua, I'm 21 years old btw and a female, so I had a huge fight with my dad, over something which was very silly. For some context: I've not been very active for the last few days, not studying or doing anything productive. I've also failed in multiple competitive exams in the past and have failed and dissapointed my parents multiple times for other reasons as well. My father has high blood pressure and I'm always very concerned about him..I do love him a lot and care for him and I'm already in so much guilt that I've disappointed them since I was born and have never done anything in return.

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So basically, yesterday I was sitting in my room, using my phone and scrolling reels and stuff and I was using AC. After few mins my father walked into the room and said switch off the AC and turned off the AC and I got really upset because it was very hot yesterday and I never usually use AC, I turned it on just 5 mins ago. So he started saying somethings in anger, I also argued back and said some things. After few seconds, he started beating me with his footwear, i was arguing a lot and I was at my peak anger and I said " yea hit me, that's all you've ever done, i really don't care how much you hit me" I said how failed you are as a father, you don't even care about your own friends, you back bitch about them and then goes back to them(it definitely triggered him more) I said he's the worst father. He also said stuff like, I wish you were dead , i wish you kill yourself, i don't have any affection for you and stuff like that. I started crying a lot and has a literal breakdown kinda thing and said harsh words to him, i don't even remember much but it was mainly that he's not a good father and I've turned like this because of his bad parenting and he's responsible for my bad traits and behaviour and everything that's been going wrong in my life. I'm not proud of this and I feel i was very wrong and rude.

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Anyway, I've been in guilt since then, I was very rude as well, and said really mean things and I know he's a overthinker and has high blood pressure and not doing good health wise and I think stress might make this situation worse. We haven't talked since then. He has been silent too, I know he loves me. It just breaks my heart fighting with him like this. I miss the good old days when me and my father were In really good terms. Also, my mother and my brother supported me in this whole situation and calmed me down .

I've been feeling down from a very long time, i guess. It's very exhausting to feel this way. I don't feel like talking to anyone, I've lost interest in doing anything. things that have been happening to me for a long time:

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1. I forget things often

2. It is difficult to concentrate and focus on something. Can't study for long, even if I do I just completely go blank in between.

3. Brain fog

4. Feels dull and not fresh at all

5. Feels low on energy all the damn time

6. Wale up feeling exhausted and I feel weak

7. My sleep schedule is messed up completely

8. Gets angry almost all the time. Can't maintain good relationships with my family and just want to be alone

9. I want to be ALONE, ALL THE TIME, I've no energy left in me to pick up calls and talk. I don't feel like socializing. I hate when guests comes up to our house or we have to go somewhere. It feels mentally draining to go somewhere

10. I stay up all night thinking about various things

11. I have anxiety issues as well

12. Scared of future, feels hopeless

13. Can't stop thinking about past and what have been gone wrong in my life

14. I don't remember the last time when I was happy

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Things that have been affecting me and traumas that have happened in my life so far:

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1. My ex cheated on me with a friend of mine, he cheated on me twice, with two different girls

2. He also slut shamed me, verbally abused me and also slapped me once

3. He wanted to come back so he started harrassing me and blackmailing me so informed my parents and they helped me then but ever since then, I feel very ashamed because of all that. Too many family members know about all of this and they all judge me, it feels like I've lost my innocence. They don't see me the same way they used to and it hurts

4. My brother sometimes hit me

5. I love my family, my parents and my brother a lot but I don't wanna be with them. I feel better when I'm not around them

6. I've so much academic pressure because I've failed in too many competitive exams, I'm so scared about my future

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There are a lot of incidents that have happened to me. I can't write all of it in this single post but I genuinely feel very broken inside. I've no idea if I'm depressed or not but I can't even go to therapy because my parents won't allow me to. And I've no money of my own.. I'm financially dependent on them.

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Help me find out what's wrong with me and how am I supposed to fix it.

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My sleep schedule is completed f\*\*\*ed. It changes everyday, irregular timings. Sometimes I sleep at 6am, sometimes at 10 am, some times at 12pm sometimes at 12am. It's really messed up. I wake up feeling exhausted, stressed and kinda depressed. Basically not fresh at all. My sleep isn't good at all, I wale up in between. I feel irritated or dull when I wake up and due to all this my overall productivity is getting decreased a lot

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I was planning to prepare for a competitive exam that's going to be conducted next year around may- june. I need to fix my schedule and get my shit together and work on it. Give me suggestions please