u/CrabVegetable2060

Im a pretty shy person and I do have a decent amount of friends currently in my senior year. I do tend to cling to one or two people and struggle to get out of my comfort zone . i don’t go out often and i don’t get invited to parties. It’s because the people that throw parties in my school aren’t my vibe , also because I am not theirs . I do expect that in my uni people will match my intellect and energy better .

What is your guyses experience if you were like me in high school? If you did end up becoming a party person and go out clubbing , how did you manage that transition? And how do you stop clinging to one person and overcome social anxiety?

Haha I know this needs a lot more work than a Reddit response but I would love a general idea.

Im a pretty shy person and I do have a decent amount of friends currently in my senior year. I do tend to cling to one or two people and struggle to get out of my comfort zone . i don’t go out often and i don’t get invited to parties. It’s because the people that throw parties in my school aren’t my vibe , also because I am not theirs . I do expect that in my uni people will match my intellect and energy better .

What is your guyses experience if you were like me in high school? If you did end up becoming a party person and go out clubbing , how did you manage that transition? And how do you stop clinging to one person and overcome social anxiety?

Haha I know this needs a lot more work than a Reddit response but I would love a general idea.

Are people friendly , are Dutch students welcoming of international students ? Are the parties actually fun? Do people go to Rotterdam or The Hague to party?

I’m planning on entering a Dutch course however im not native Dutch so im also a bit worried about how that would go

I feel like I don’t know anything and don’t know how to do anything and when I delete social media all I do is look through my gallery or watch YouTube. Doing sports or music feels forced

I force myself to have a crush once a year or so and I think about them a lot like imagine what if I had this this that that interaction with them . Then after a few weeks of doing that I actually begin to somewhat like them . And then I get infatuated with them . And now it’s like a lot

So there’s a bunch of people I wa too shy to talk to and blew off earlier this year . Now that I’m trying to make casual contact in lectures or whatever they ignore me or shrug me off the same way . It’s really . Sooooo painful . I know it takes time , however I’ve been trying for a few months

My routine is school study gym Netflix . Once a month go out with friends . I do shit for cas like sports and helping out at an elderly home . But I feel so boring . And I tried new things but nothings really interesting me . I’m so scared this is going to stick , that it is who I will be when I’m in uni .

What is something I can get into ? I know people are into f1 , or crochet , calisthenics . None of these things really appeal to me . I tried running but it’s exhausting .

My main routine is studying , going to the gym , and watching Netflix . I do not really have passions or interests in anything . I do however feel appalled by people like me . I hike sometimes , write poetry , or draw . I do not share this because it’s intimate z

But again , it’s so rarely because I do not have time for anything but uni . I go out with friends once every other week .

What is your guyses experience with these people. Is it exhausting ? I feel like if I was in a relationship I would be consumed with the other person just because I don’t know what else to do with my time .

For background knowledge , she is a good student , disciplined , and social . She works out very frequently and dieted earlier so I know she can restrain herself . She has a few friends that she goes out with once in a while . I’m aware kids her age smoke weed as her and I have also talked about it and she herself told me people have smoked weed at parties .

I told her about how I once took edibles and did not enjoy it , she also told me how she once tried a joint at a party . She told me she did not enjoy it , that it made her depressive . I did not hold it against her knowing it’s a natural thing to try substances at a point in her life, given I have been addicted to mild substances too earlier in my youth. If she says she did not enjoy it then I think she is principled enough not to do it again, knowing her self control .

One thing I am however concerned about is that sometimes when she comes back from parties or school and she smells like cigarettes . I have not asked about it , but once cleaning her jacket found a lighter and set it on the table along with her other things . I did not call her out on it , seeing as how there were no cigarettes in her jacket.

I am mildly worried she may have picked up smoking, but if she has I also do somewhat trust her that she will make the choices best suited for her . I do not know if I should interfere , or let her take her own path .

Whenever I’m confronted by something it feels absurd . I thoroughly apologise but ir feels like it’s just to maintain the connection and the accusation feels really stupid some mild shit i did without realising like