When men always gawk at you.. yet you’ve never been pursued.
I genuinely find this whole thing so confusing.
I’ve spent my entire life somewhere in the grey area.
What do I mean by the grey area?
I mean that I can go out looking my absolute best, fully dressed up and made up, and I’ve never in my life had a man harass me, hit on me, ask for my number or Snapchat, or actually approach me. Literally untouchable in that sense—to the point where I don’t even feel the usual fear that women might have when they’re out, because these situations simply never happen to me.
I’m also 28 and never been in a relationship or pursued romantically. EVER, and I’ve never really felt like a man I’ve met was actually attracted to me in that way.
I know I haven’t reached the point of being ugly, so I can rule that conclusion out.
But the fact that none of these things ever happen to me has made me feel like I’m probably just very ordinary-looking, maybe even below average, and that there’s nothing particularly striking about my appearance that would make someone notice me or be attracted to me.
Especially because I constantly see other women getting approached, followed while they’re driving, having a guy pull up asking for their Snapchat, being approached while they’re sitting at a café, or having men find some other way to make a move on them.
And not once in my entire life has anything like that happened to me. Not once.
And yet… whether I’m at work, out casually, or literally anywhere, whenever I happen to look up at a man, I very often find him already looking at me. The second our eyes meet, he looks away.
I’ve even noticed some guys turn to their friend, nudge him, and then both of them look over at me.
It happens so often. I’ll randomly look at someone and find them staring at me, and then they look away. Some don’t even look away.
And yet, out of the hundreds of men I’ve had these moments with, not a single one has ever gone beyond just looking.
On top of that, whenever I meet someone online and they see photos of me (some are men) they always say that I’m gorgeous and at least an 8.
So now I’m confused.
Is there some arrogant, overly confident part of me that’s taking these little moments and turning them into something bigger than they actually are? Like maybe these are completely normal things that happen to everyone, and I’m just letting them inflate my ego? Are these people who see my photos just being nice?
Or is there actually something else going on?
And if the answer is that I am attractive, then that doesn’t make sense either. Because how have I never had any man peruse me romantically or even display the slightest bit of interest towards me other than glances and looks here and there?
Life keeps throwing mixed signals at me and I don’t know how to perceive myself anymore.