u/DCFVBTEG

I regret playing that stupid game. I've been called a N@zi, a child, a six-year-old with daddy issues, a troll, a ragebaiter, and all the worst things you can imagine by the fans of that game. They are honestly the worst community I've ever interacted with. Anytime I complain to them about it they tell me to "get help" like they aren't the reason I need help. I can't get the stupid bullying out of my head.

Look, I don't like Fallout 4 anymore. I admit the game had a lot of issues I didn't initially notice. I wasn't willing to admit it for the longest time because I wanted to hold on to that part of me that thought the game was good. But now I know it's bad. I might've even come to that conclusion on my own eventually. But the things you people said to me were inexcusable. You all made me hate my life and made me want it all to end. I can't take this shit anymore. I regret ever touching that stupid fucking game. Even ignoring my toxic relationship with the community, I probably wouldn't have wanted to play it if I knew it wasn't a good story game.

I've honestly had a lot of toxic experiences with the Fallout community. This sub is the only place I ever felt welcome. It's strange, even though I used to like Fallout a lot. I honestly can't say I've ever felt like a part of the community. I feel like Fallout fans always treated me like a second-class citizen. I rarely ever felt like a true Fallout fan. The only exception being here. Thanks for that.

If I'm going to be honest, I don't really like Fallout 4 anymore. I haven't played it since 2020 and have a hard time imagining I'll ever play it again. Besides the toxic experiences I had with the community, I feel the game had a lot of problems with its story and writing that I just didn't notice initially. I kinda regret playing the game. That all said, I'm glad you all made me feel at home. Thanks for being nice to me.

My parents decided to homeschool me in the third grade. I grew up with no friends or extracurriculars, and no teachers or counselors to support me. My parents also did jack to prepare me for college or adulthood. So I couldn't go on to do that. It is honestly one of the worst things to happen to me. I don't know why any parent would subject their child to something like that.

What's worse is anytime I complain about it my parents just tell me that "it's in the past" or that I should "move on" or that "make the best of your life now". As if they were not the ones to destroy it. Funny how anytime I bring up something shitty they've done it's always over or in the past.

....of varying degrees of importance.

-I regret not asking that girl out

-I regret getting my Google account suspended and not making a bigger deal about what it did to those Reddit posts when it happened.

-I regret not playing a sport.

-I regret not playing Bioshock or Undertale.

-I regret registering for the Republican Party; I should've gone with the Libertarians.

-I regret not being there for my friend when he was going through high school

-I regret losing my interest in science over something stupid.

And my life's biggest regret. The one thing I would change, if I could only change one thing. Is playing the Fallout games.

Playing those games and interacting with that community is the worst thing to ever happened to me. I deal with the consequences of it every day. Remembering all the shit these people said to and about me that brought me down. It's exhausting. I would do anything to take back playing those games. Honestly, if the fans told me what they truly thought of them before I played it, I wouldn't have played it. Fallout Shelter is pretty great, though. The only good Bethesda game is a mobile game, lol.

So those are all my regrets. Probably will piss some people off. But if it's what I regret, it's what I regret.

....of varying degrees of importance.

-I regret not asking that girl out

-I regret getting my Google account suspended and not making a bigger deal about what it did to those Reddit posts when it happened.

-I regret not playing a sport.

-I regret not playing Bioshock or Undertale.

-I regret registering for the Republican Party; I should've gone with the Libertarians.

-I regret not being there for my friend when he was going through high school

-I regret losing my interest in science over something stupid.

And my life's biggest regret. The one thing I would change, if I could only change one thing. Is playing the Fallout games.

Playing those games and interacting with that community is the worst thing to ever happened to me. I deal with the consequences of it every day. Remembering all the shit these people said to and about me that brought me down. It's exhausting. I would do anything to take back playing those games. Honestly, if the fans told me what they truly thought of them before I played it, I wouldn't have played it. Fallout Shelter is pretty great, though. The only good Bethesda game is a mobile game, lol.

So those are all my regrets. Probably will piss some people off. But if it's what I regret, it's what I regret.

I sided with the Railroad. I actually regretted it at the time. But looking back, I don't know why.

Honestly, Fallout 4's factions were nowhere near as good as I thought they were. I made this post a while back on r/fallout, defending Fallout 4's faction writing. But tbh I know I was full of shit. I just wanted to hang on to that part of me that still believed the game's factions were philosophically complex. Which I think they could've been. But alas, Bethesda failed at that front.

I hate to sound overly negative, though. I guess it's cool they removed that stupid karma system and made choosing your faction a bit hard by having to betray your faction companions (Dance/Decon). So all that said, who did you side with? I feel a lot of people are going to say the Minutemen. Which is one of the reasons I kinda hate them.

https://preview.redd.it/uxkamnobyn9h1.png?width=1140&format=png&auto=webp&s=1a69a9a0c65c719610ffa93db3d3fb96362c5f1a

Up and Toy Story 3 were really close. Also, yes, I find The Incredibles and Inside Out to be incredibly overrated films. I've grown to respect Monsters University over time.

They called me a N@zi, a six-year-old with daddy issues, a child, bad taste, and objectively wrong. I simply can't get them out of my head. It's because of them that I don't like being on this Earth anymore. I wish I had never interacted with these people.

I've done a lot of terrible shit in my life. If you knew half the crap I've said and done, you'd think I'm one evil bastard. I feel like god is mad at me and that he hates me.

I'm not that religious, by the way. I mean, I'm not an atheist. But I'm not a die-hard Christian either. I just couldn't think of a better place to post this. I'm afraid god hates me and that I've failed him.

I got Fallout 4 because I thought it was a story-driven game in the vein of The Walking Dead or Too the Moon. I didn't know until after I played it that this dev was so reviled for their main quests. Had I known Fallout 4 was not beloved as a story game, I wouldn't have played it. I regret playing the game because of that.

For what's worth, I don't like The Elder Scrolls games. I really wish I had the same experience playing Fallout 4 as I did playing Skyrim. If I did, I would have never liked Fallout 4, and I would have nothing to be angry about.

I had a toxic experience with a gaming community. I was able to ignore them at first, but they eventually brought me down. Now I just hate the game and wish I had never played it. Honestly, I've kinda come around to the idea that the game wasn't really as good as I thought it was. There were so many issues I didn't notice with it. Had I known these Issues were well-known I wouldn't have played it.

But that's besides the point. The community fucked me in the head. They called me the cruelest, most inhuman things imaginable. They've made me feel less than human. I want nothing to do with it anymore. But I can't get it out of my head. I can't get the memories of what these people said to me out of my head. They hurt me beyond description. I just scream every day about how I don't like the game anymore and how I wish I never played it. I hate this stupid game and I wish I had never played it. I don't like it anymore. Now there is that stupid tv show too.

I feel like playing the game was a mistake. I'd do anything to take it back. I know I was wrong. You don't need to rub it in my face. The only reason I argued so much because I wanted to hold on to that part of me that still liked it. But i'm finally letting it go. I hate this stupid game. It has caused me so much pain. I can't forget about it or what these people said to me. I'm hurt, I'm hurt, I'm hurt, I'm hurt. I wish I never played this game.

I've been called unhinged, a child, a N@zi, and a six-year-old with daddy issues. These same people who bullied me tell that that I "need help". Like they aren't the reason that I need help. I don't know why that's the go too saying anytime someone on the internet says something you don't like or agree with. I didn't need any help until I interacted with these people. Now they tell me to get it. Like THEY are not the ones that made me feel this way. It's kinda like shooting a person in the chest and telling them "go to the hospital!"

I was such an upstanding and good person. These people ruined my life. I honestly wish I never interacted with this community. I wish I never expirinced the media surounding it. I'm a human being and I feel like people have treated me like dog shit. Less than dog shit.

I hate myself so much. I've tried seeking help. I've taken medications, I've been to therapist, I went to the psych ward twice. Yet people still chastise me to "get help" like I haven't already tried. I wish I could've proven to the world there was more to me. But I'm just a worthless, "mentally unhinged", piece of shit."

You know I acomplished alot in my early life. I was an Eagle Scout when I was 13, I starred in a play, I was never perfect but I feel like I was an upstanding member of society. Humanity brought me down. They made me lose all hope.

I'll end this with two things.....

A-I know I was wrong, I know that the game wasn't as good as I thought it was. I know it wasn't morally grey. The reason I was argueing so passonialty for the contrary is because I think at some point I thought differently. I wanted to hold on to that part of me that believed is was politicaly and philosophically complex. That it was well written. But I really knew I was full of shit. I just wanted to believe there was more to it. But I was wrong. That still doesn't justify you calling me a N@zi, a child, or a loser for "pretending" I was feeling a certain way.

B-I didn't delete that post. I know that I didn't. I know this because I distinctly remember that it and all the posts up on that account at that time were deleted after my Google account was suspended. I mentioned that this occurred in the subsequent post I made on that account. I know it says that I did it. But I didn't. Maybe it was a technical glitch. I actually emailed Reddit, and they told me stuff like that can occur. If so, I guess that's fine. But I genuinely didn't delete the post.

Maybe I should've accepted you wouldn't believe me and not have harassed you on that matter. But I didn't deserve being called unhinged and said that I need "serve serve mental help". You're not by docter, you're not a psychologist. You shouldn't use that term to judge me just because you didn't believe the problem I had. I noticed that the Mod was banned from Reddit. Serves him right.

Those are just two things that are on my mind. They would only make sense to the people who the topic is relevent to. But that's all. I just wanted to get this off my chest. I honestly regret being so invested to the internet. I honestly destroyed my mental health at a young age.

I mentioned this briefly in my last post. People didn't understand where I was coming from. But hear me out.

So, in Fallout 3, you infiltrate the Enclave's base. You learn a few things....

A-John Henry Eden, the Enclave's president. Isn't a person, he's a machine.

B-As such, He isn't really in charge of the Enclave. His "second in command" Colonel Autumn is. This is best exhibited when Eden orders the soldiers not to attack you, but then Autumn overrides this order. The men don't listen to Eden; they aren't even allowed to meet him. Autumn, who is a human they've seen and relate to, seems to be who they are loyal to.

C-John Henry Eden, who, to reiterate, isn't in charge of the Enclave, he's just cosplaying as their president, asks you to poison the water supply, killing most of humanity.

D-This plan is monstrous and inhuman, and benefits pretty much no one. Colonel Autumn understandably agrees with that sentiment. Which is why he actually has no plans to go through his computers' deranged plans, and actually agrees with the motives of Project Purity. This is mentioned both by Eden when you meet him and Autumn at the end of the game. As such, Autumn intends to set up the purifier and give clean, fresh water to the people of the wastes. (Kinda making your dad's sacrifice a bit in vain, but whatever.)

So, In summery, we know that Eden is not in charge of the Enclave. Autumn is in charge of the Enclave. Eden does want to poison the water supply, but his opinion is moot, since he has no real control (and depending on the choices that the player makes, he might not even be in the picture anymore). Finally, Autumn agrees with project purity and wants to help the wastelanders.

,This all means the Enclave isn't evil. Sure, they might be a bit ruthless, they do try to take over Project Purity by force. And I think they can kill Amata in a random encounter. But I don't think that makes them truly evil. At worst, it makes them no worse than the NCR or Brotherhood typically is.

That actually sounds really cool. Bethesda managed to take a previously evil faction and make them more morally nuanced. I like moral ambiguity, especially in games... but there is a problem here.....

If the Enclave agrees with the motives of Project purity, and the Brotherhood concurs..... WHY IN THE UNIVERSE DO THE TWO FIGHT A MASSIVE ASS WAR OVER THAT DAMN PURIFIER!!!!!!??????

This is the funniest plot hole I think I've ever seen! Think about it, the Brotherhood and the Enclave both want to clean up the water in the wasteland and help all the people. They have the same exact war aims, yet they both fight a war over who will do the exact same thing! All these poor men are dying in a war for pretty much nothing. Had the player told Autumn this at the end of the game, the two of you would probably just stand there awkwardly, realizing all this bloodshed was for nothing.

I could maybe understand if the game gave another explanation as to why the two factions didn't want the other to have the purifier. But it doesn't. I've heard some suggest that the Enclave is evil not because of Eden's plan, but because they are going to hoard all the water and ration it out to people. But I think that doesn't make any sense when 1-I don't think that's evil at all, 2-that's what the Brotherhood ends up doing anyway, and 3-I don't think that's ever mentioned in game, so really that's just people coming up with pastiche to fill up the game's plot holes.

So yeah, the Enclave is morally grey. Never would've guessed that in a million years. But it's true. I think it's really funny, both because few seem to realize this. Everyone says the Enclave is evil when they're just not. And it makes the game's plot make no sense. The protagonists and antagonists have no established sense of conflict with each other.

Also, why do the Enclave blow up the purifier at all? They themselves are trying to get it working. But even if they were evil and did want to poison all the water, that wouldn't help with their aims at all. Since they still need it operating to distribute the poison.

Also also, the Enclave has a massive death lazer that they can use to attack the Citedal at any point.... they just... don't. Even after they've been at war with them for two weeks.