u/DayOwn4099

I discovered Bad Omens literally a couple of months ago and I’m honestly shocked by how sensitive this fandom is over the whole Noah privacy thing.

Isn’t this basically a very mild version of what men and more often women deal with in workplaces every day? Stalking, sexual harassment, unwanted attention, being sexualized, etc none of this is exclusive to musicians. The difference is that Noah has the leverage to publicly set boundaries. He stopped fan meetups, VIP interactions, pulled back from social media, and streams.

That's a HUGE privilege when you think about it. Most people dealing with harassment at work don't have the option of simply removing themselves from those interactions. Often it's either tolerate it, report it and risk your career, or leave.

There is also an uncomfortable irony in treating Tiktok fan girl behavior as something that suddenly became intolerable once it crossed certain boundaries, when that same online fan culture was also a major part of the band’s visibility and commercial success. That doesn’t make fans entitled to Noah, obviously.

it is wild to me that people seem much more willing to recognize harassment when the person experiencing it is a famous man with enough power to publicly reject it, while ignoring millions of ordinary women experience worse behavior with far fewer options for doing anything about it.

Hi!

I have a L5-S1 hernia. So far it was almost pain free but within last week I developed numbness in one of my legs, and for two days my groin area is numb.

I am worried it might be the onset of cauda equina syndrome which requires urgent care. I went to my doctor and he dismissed me with simple painkillers and didn’t want to do emergency MRI.

I called ambulance and all they gave was NSAID. They told me go to the closest clinic and get MRI.

I am not sure why they are dismissing the possibility of a permanent nerve damage.

Anyone know a good spine surgeon/neurosurgeon/orthopedic who can see me fast in Tokyo? (I already went to Tsoc and that’s where i was dismissed)

Assalamu aleikum.

Has anyone dealt/dealing with disc hernia or disc bulge? How are you guys praying?

I have a disc hernia and whenever I do rukuh or sajda the pain gets worse. I don’t know how to manage salahs with this condition considering the disc never truly heals and I might need years for rehabilitation.

Doctors recommend the ‘spine hygiene’ meaning avoid bending or if bending hinge the hips which is not the same way Muslims do rukuh. And sajdah might overextend the spine and load the lower disc. So I potentially would need to limit or modify these movements for years. Should I just prays straight up or sitting?

Hi!

I have my performance review coming up and I'm stuck on how to frame my contributions.

I work at a small startup, i am one of the very few fully remote employees, and have been with a team for almost a year. Previously I asked to be involved and given bigger projects and worked on a few big projects this year. For 2 of them I did the heavy lifting: distribution, managing relationships with the participating institutions, data collection, and the analysis. But I didn't own the whole thing end to end for all of them. For example, the slides and the writeup were done by other people (1-2 weeks) on the team while I did the earlier chunk of work for months. And my team lead was involved as well. However, the team lead often allocates the initial stages of the project like brainstorming, execution. I always deliver on time.

There are mistakes here and there and my lead gives feedback that i always incorporate. There were no critical issues or mistakes after launch, most of them i detect and fix prior to the product launch.

For some projects I own everything and report to my lead with my plan, and my proposals on how to structure the project and he gives me feedback and his own suggestions and approves.

So now I'm trying to figure out how to talk about this honestly. I don't want to inflate my role and claim credit for the whole project when I only owned pieces of it. But I also don't want to undersell the pieces I did own, especially since that work (data quality, coordination across institutions, analysis) is genuinely hard and easy for other people to wave off as "support work" if I don't describe it precisely.

Some extra context that's making this harder:

• My work isn't tied to obvious numbers (revenue, growth, etc.), so it's hard to point at a metric and say "look what I did."
• I've had an issue before where my contributions weren't fully surfaced by my team lead, so I'm wary of leaving the framing entirely up to my manager.
• I want to eventually have a conversation about comp or promotion, but only if i receive good feedback.

What is adding to my anxiety is that my lead didnt give me any performance feedback so far in our catchups so I am not sure what to anticipate. Recently he has been underreporting my involvement in some projects as well.

For people who've navigated this: how do you talk about your piece of a group project in a review without it sounding like either false modesty, or overclaiming something that wasn't fully yours? Any phrasing, structure, or framework that's worked for you would help a lot.

I'd like not to be in the situation where I put 'exceeds expectations', provide the facts and statements to support it but my lead not agreeing with me or taking jabs on it.

Hi!

Im not sure if others can relate but lately I have been feeling like a mere tool, a robot rather than a human at work.

There were a lot of personal challenges this year in my life. My grandfather died, I am struggling to land a new job, overall struggling with career growth direction. Recently I have been diagnosed with spine disc issue which is causing a lot of discomfort and stress.

However everyday at work I have to be friendly, smile and try to exceed expectations. If I request some accommodations for my back I might be passed for projects, business trips etc in the future because of the subconscious bias about my health and my productivity. If i grief the loss of a loved one I bring negativity into office. If I struggle with money and the economy and ask for a raise or promotion, then the issue is my financial literacy.

However when urgent stuff comes up at work the issue is never bad management or the failure to plan properly. If the upper management makes a mistake it is overlooked. My boss can call my idea stupid, my boss can have bad mood and bad days but i am not allowed this privilege.

Everyday while commuting I can’t help but feel like a robot that is fully disposable and not valuable.

Like to be a good employee I need to not have human experiences and ups and downs.

This is making me feel extremely isolated and resentful towards my colleagues and managers. Sometimes their team lunches or happy hours or summer parties that are mandatory to attend are simply too much for me. I can’t sit and talk about nonsense while my head is occupied with thoughts about my health or late grandpa or the anxiety around money and future.

Is there any way to push through this? I am trying to get a better job to solve the money issue. But the dehumanization of the hiring processes is another big thing. I am having zero luck getting an interview let alone a good offer

Hi everyone!

F27. 160cm tall 79 kg.

I have been diagnosed with annular tear and a small hernia of L5 today.

The sympthoms started around 6 months ago when I suddenly got an acute lower backpain. There was no tingling or numbness around legs. At that time i thought it might have been a muscle strain as I just started incorporating deadlifts into my workout. The pain got better within 1-2 weeks but returned last month. I experienced slight shooting pain to my legs and slight numbness for a very short period time and then it would disappear. Currently I am mostly pain-free, except when I do core exercises.

After the MRI the doctor diagnosed me with annular tear of L5. There was a small hernia there but it wasn't compressing the nerve.

I started the physiotheraphy as my inner spine muscles and core muscles are extremely weak. The doctor said that if I strenghted my muscles then this condition is managable but the disc damage is permanent. I was also advised to manage weight which is a huge issue for me.

I'd like to know if the disc is truly can not be healed. I am not even sure if it is worth exploring second opinion on this. and I read that small hernias take longer to absorb than bigger ones. The doctor said that the hernia isn't an issue at this point but I can't help get nervous about it

I'm quite anxious that this is permanent and very scared of long-term damage especially in terms of future pregnancy and aging.

Any thoughts or experiences are very appreciated.

Thank you!

Hi!

Two says ago I was diagnosed with lower back annular tear and hernia. The doctor at TSOC Kita Ikebukuro said it is because of weak inner muscles and suggested PT for 3-4 months.

The clinic already has the PT department but the issue is the physio I am seeing is fully booked and i can only see him once in 2-3 weeks while I want to do PT every week.

Unfortunately the clinic doesn’t allow to change the Psychio doctor. I am thinking of going for another place with better schedule and more sessions.

I live near Ikebukuro if it helps but can commute for 30-45 minutes if needed.

If anyone has navigated/is dealing with a similar issue, I would appreciate any thoughts or recovery stories.

Thank you.

Hi everyone!

F27. 160cm tall 79 kg.

I have been diagnosed with annular tear and a small hernia of L5 today.

The sympthoms started around 6 months ago when I suddenly got an acute lower backpain. There was no tingling or numbness around legs. At that time i thought it might have been a muscle strain as I just started incorporating deadlifts into my workout. The pain got better within 1-2 weeks but returned last month. I experienced slight shooting pain to my legs and slight numbness for a very short period time and then it would disappear. Currently I am mostly pain-free, except when I do core exercises.

After the MRI the doctor diagnosed me with annular tear of L5. There was a small hernia there but it wasn't compressing the nerve.

I started the physiotheraphy as my inner spine muscles and core muscles are extremely weak. The doctor said that if I strenghted my muscles then this condition is managable but the disc damage is permanent. I was also advised to manage weight which is a huge issue for me.

I'd like to know if the disc is truly can not be healed. I am not even sure if it is worth exploring second opinion on this. and I read that small hernias take longer to absorb than bigger ones. The doctor said that the hernia isn't an issue at this point but I can't help get nervous about it

I'm quite anxious that this is permanent and very scared of long-term damage especially in terms of future pregnancy and aging.

Any thoughts or experiences are very appreciated.

Thank you!

Hi everyone!

F27. I have been diagnosed with annular tear and a small hernia of L5 today.

The sympthoms started around 6 months ago when I suddenly got an acute lower backpain. There was no tingling or numbness around legs. At that time i thought it might have been a muscle strain as I just started incorporating deadlifts into my workout. The pain got better within 1-2 weeks but returned last month. I experienced slight shooting pain to my legs and slight numbness for a very short period time and then it would disappear. Currently I am mostly pain-free, except when I do core exercises.

After the MRI the doctor diagnosed me with annular tear of L5. There was a small hernia there but it wasn't compressing the nerve.

I started the physiotheraphy as my inner spine muscles and core muscles are extremely weak. The doctor said that if I strenghted my muscles then this condition is managable but the disc damage is permanent. I was also advised to manage weight which is a huge issue for me.

I wanted to reach out to people who have had similar condition to ask how the recovery went and if there's any chance to fully recover.

I'm quite anxious that this is permanent and very scared of long-term damage especially in terms of future pregnancy and aging.

Any thoughts or experiences are very appreciated.

Thank you!

Hi!

I am looking for a professional orthopedic in Tokyo for lower back pain. I have visited a clinic in Shin-Okubo that I thought would provide good care based on reviews but it was pretty bad: the doctor only mentioned that there is a deformity in the lower back that is causing pain and suggested generic pain killers and maybe a surgery in a couple of years if the conditions gets worse. He didnt explain the reason or suggest anything to try to improve the underlying condition.

I am searching for another doctor who could properly diagnos me and help to fix the deformaty.

Thank you for suggestions.

Hi!

Today my grandfather died. I moved to another country alone a couple of years ago. I always thought about this day and how hard it would be but I always pushed these thoughts away thinking my grandpa would have a long life.

Last month he had a stroke and became bedridden. He couldn’t move, didn’t recognize people and in a rare moments of mental clarity he cried of pain and reality of his condition.

He is gonna be buried today and there are no flights for me to make it and see him.

The closest would be arriving 2 days later and it’s an expensive and exhausting trip. I am also dreading the thought of meeting relatives, neighbors etc who would bother me about living abroad alone or being unmarried and childless.

My family keeps saying to stay and pray for his soul. I feel lonely and want to be with them but at the same time I don’t want to put myself through the trip and judgement.

I truly don’t know what to do

Hi.

26F. I have been battling depression for the last 6 months. It’s been tough to deal with a dead end job, financial troubles and marriage delays. I have been praying tahajjud and asking for ease and was looking forward to fasting on a day of Arafah, praying tahajjud, doing istikhar for ease.

I was looking forward to it as a hope to make my situation a bit better but now for obvious reasons I cannot pray or fast for the next couple of days.

Im truly devastated as if Allah doesn’t want my worship. Like i am blocked from receiving good stuff.

Of course I can do istikhar and zikr but I feel like I am deprived of this opportunity to earn more good deeds and my duas being accepted.

Was it a better decision? How did you navigate career, reverse culture shock, etc?

Hi!

I moved here and joined a new company a couple of months ago and one consistent pattern I noticed is that if anyone is sick they never take a sick leave but work from home. They say they have fever, or feeling bad but continue working. And I haven’t seen the boss telling them to rest.

Upon joining the company there was no set days of sick leave but employees could take time off wherever needed for health reasons.

Now I am worried if i ever take medical leave it will be frowned upon.

Is this a common practice in Singapore.