u/Decent-Play-7154

My fiance and I have bought a house and we have a shared account for housing expenses. We both pay into it each month.

She’s used it for things such as buying new things for the kitchen, a new bedside cabinet and a few decorative bits. 

Our tv is a few years old now and I was thinking about upgrading. There’s more than enough in the shared account and would still have a lot left over. I mentioned this to my gf and she said I shouldn’t be using the shared account for it since it’s just something I want and not a need. 

I pointed out most of the things she’s used the account for were wants and if you total everything she’s bought, it’ll come to around the same price as the tv or even slightly more, 

She said again I shouldn’t be using the shared account. I tried arguing a compromise of using half from the shared account and half from my savings but she still said no. 

I told her it’s meant to be a shared account and she’s acting like it’s solely her money. I said I’m entitled to use the account just as much as she is but she argued I was being unreasonable, 

AITA for using the shared account to buy a tv?

My girlfriend and I have been together  for around 4 years. We share a few interests but still have a few separate interests.

Before we got together my gf had been to a few festivals and last year started talking about wanting to go to one. 

I mentioned that it’s not my thing but she said I should want to do it to make her happy and take an interest in her interests so I agreed to go. She said I’d have to pay my half since she won’t be paying for both of us.  This cost me over £500 in total for the ticket plus the weekend.

There’s a comic con coming up later this year and a lot of the celebrities attending are from a shows I love and from other movies etc. My gf doesn’t really have an interest in this but I mentioned to her that I wanted us to go. 

She said no and that it would be boring for her but I pointed out it’s something I’m interested in. She again said no but I pointed out her double standards saying that I went to the festival because it’s something she wanted. 

She said she’d go if I paid for everything but I again pointed out she expected me to pay for the festival so why is it one rule for her and another for me. 

I said it’s upsetting knowing she won’t bother to do something for me while expecting me to do things for her. 

She accused me of guilt tripping her and said she shouldn’t have to go with me. 

AIW for expecting her to go to the comic con with me?

My girlfriend and I have been together  for around 4 years. We share a few interests but still have a few separate interests.

Before we got together my gf had been to a few festivals and last year started talking about wanting to go to one. 

I mentioned that it’s not my thing but she said I should want to do it to make her happy and take an interest in her interests so I agreed to go. She said I’d have to pay my half since she won’t be paying for both of us.  This cost me over £500 in total for the ticket plus the weekend.

There’s a comic con coming up later this year and a lot of the celebrities attending are from a shows I love and from other movies etc. My gf doesn’t really have an interest in this but I mentioned to her that I wanted us to go. 

She said no and that it would be boring for her but I pointed out it’s something I’m interested in. She again said no but I pointed out her double standards saying that I went to the festival because it’s something she wanted. 

She said she’d go if I paid for everything but I again pointed out she expected me to pay for the festival so why is it one rule for her and another for me. 

I said it’s upsetting knowing she won’t bother to do something for me while expecting me to do things for her. 

She accused me of guilt tripping her and said she shouldn’t have to go with me. 

Does anyone have any advice on how best to approach this or have any other views on it?

tldr my girlfriend said I’m guilt tripping her by expressing I’m upset she won’t go to a comic con with me after I’ve been to a music festival for her.

I’m starting to feel leaving pretty burnt out. I live with my girlfriend and I don’t tend to have much time to myself. When we’re together on an evening we’re doing things together which means I don’t have a lot of time for myself to just relax.

There’s a few tv shows I want to catch up on but haven’t had the time for, a few video games I want to play but don’t have time for etc.

I’ve decided to start taking an hour for myself each evening. I mentioned this to my gf and she got annoyed. She asked why I’d be doing in the hour and I just said I’ll either game for an hour, watch an episode of tv or read.

She asked if I’d still be talking to her and I said no since I’d be focused on what I’m doing.

She said I shouldn’t be ignoring her when we’re together but I just pointed out we live together and spend 5-6 hours together each evening so me taking 1 hour for myself shouldn’t be an issue.

She just said it’s rude of me to be planning to ignore her for a part of every evening,

AIO for taking an hour to myself?

My girlfriend and I have moved into a new apartment and she has started decorating it. She's put some framed prints, some plants, a few vases, some figurines and other little bits around the shared spaces.

Our previous apartment was fully furnished and pretty small so you couldn’t really decorate whereas this one has a lot more space.

I found a few framed movie and comic prints I liked and some figurines that looked good so I bought them and went to put them on some new shelves that we've just put up. My girlfriend asked what I was doing and I mentioned I'd found some things I wanted to use for decoration.

She suggested I put them in the home office but I said I'd prefer them in a communal space so I don't just get to see them when I'm working. She said she doesn't think I should be putting them out and that I should stick to putting them in my office.

I told her the shared space should reflect both of our interests not just hers and that it's not just up to her to decide what decoration is allowed in the apartment. She said I was starting arguments over nothing and that I should be fine keeping them in the office.

Does anyone have any advice on how best to approach the situation or have any other perspectives on it?

tldr my girlfriend is arguing I should be happy just decorating the home office and should be fine not decorating the rest of the apartment.

My girlfriend and I have moved into a new apartment and she has started decorating it. She's put some framed prints, some plants, a few vases, some figurines and other little bits around the shared spaces.

Our previous apartment was fully furnished and pretty small so you couldn’t really decorate whereas this one has a lot more space.

I found a few framed movie and comic prints I liked and some figurines that looked good so I bought them and went to put them on some new shelves that we've just put up. My girlfriend asked what I was doing and I mentioned I'd found some things I wanted to use for decoration.

She suggested I put them in the home office but I said I'd prefer them in a communal space so I don't just get to see them when I'm working. She said she doesn't think I should be putting them out and that I should stick to putting them in my office.

I told her the shared space should reflect both of our interests not just hers and that it's not just up to her to decide what decoration is allowed in the apartment. She said I was starting arguments over nothing and that I should be fine keeping them in the office.

AITAH for expecting the shared space to reflect both of our interests?

My girlfriend and I have moved into a new apartment and she has started decorating it. She's put some framed prints, some plants, a few vases, some figurines and other little bits around the shared spaces.

Our previous apartment was fully furnished and pretty small so you couldn’t really decorate whereas this one has a lot more space.

I found a few framed movie and comic prints I liked and some figurines that looked good so I bought them and went to put them on some new shelves that we've just put up. My girlfriend asked what I was doing and I mentioned I'd found some things I wanted to use for decoration.

She suggested I put them in the home office but I said I'd prefer them in a communal space so I don't just get to see them when I'm working. She said she doesn't think I should be putting them out and that I should stick to putting them in my office.

I told her the shared space should reflect both of our interests not just hers and that it's not just up to her to decide what decoration is allowed in the apartment. She said I was starting arguments over nothing and that I should be fine keeping them in the office.

Does anyone have any advice on how best to approach this or have any other views on it?

My girlfriend and I have moved into a new apartment and she has started decorating it. She's put some framed prints, some plants, a few vases, some figurines and other little bits around the shared spaces.

Our previous apartment was fully furnished and pretty small so you couldn’t really decorate whereas this one has a lot more space.

I found a few framed movie and comic prints I liked and some figurines that looked good so I bought them and went to put them on some new shelves that we've just put up. My girlfriend asked what I was doing and I mentioned I'd found some things I wanted to use for decoration.

She suggested I put them in the home office but I said I'd prefer them in a communal space so I don't just get to see them when I'm working. She said she doesn't think I should be putting them out and that I should stick to putting them in my office.

I told her the shared space should reflect both of our interests not just hers and that it's not just up to her to decide what decoration is allowed in the apartment. She said I was starting arguments over nothing and that I should be fine keeping them in the office.

AITAH for expecting the shared space to reflect both of our interests?

My girlfriend and I have moved into a new apartment and she has started decorating it. She's put some framed prints, some plants, a few vases, some figurines and other little bits around the shared spaces.

Our previous apartment was fully furnished and pretty small so you couldn’t really decorate whereas this one has a lot more space.

I found a few framed movie and comic prints I liked and some figurines that looked good so I bought them and went to put them on some new shelves that we've just put up. My girlfriend asked what I was doing and I mentioned I'd found some things I wanted to use for decoration.

She suggested I put them in the home office but I said I'd prefer them in a communal space so I don't just get to see them when I'm working. She said she doesn't think I should be putting them out and that I should stick to putting them in my office.

I told her the shared space should reflect both of our interests not just hers and that it's not just up to her to decide what decoration is allowed in the apartment. She said I was starting arguments over nothing and that I should be fine keeping them in the office.

AIO for expecting the shared space to reflect both of our interests?

My girlfriend and I have moved into a new apartment and she has started decorating it. She's put some framed prints, some plants, a few vases, some figurines and other little bits around the shared spaces.

Our previous apartment was fully furnished and pretty small so you couldn’t really decorate whereas this one has a lot more space.

I found a few framed movie and comic prints I liked and some figurines that looked good so I bought them and went to put them on some new shelves that we've just put up. My girlfriend asked what I was doing and I mentioned I'd found some things I wanted to use for decoration.

She suggested I put them in the home office but I said I'd prefer them in a communal space so I don't just get to see them when I'm working. She said she doesn't think I should be putting them out and that I should stick to putting them in my office.

I told her the shared space should reflect both of our interests not just hers and that it's not just up to her to decide what decoration is allowed in the apartment. She said I was starting arguments over nothing and that I should be fine keeping them in the office.

AITAH for expecting the shared space to reflect both of our interests?

With my girlfriend, one thing that been getting to me is her lack of budgeting and her cancelling plans. An example of this is we have tickets to an event for next weekend so we were going for a night away,

I bought the tickets last month when we made the plans so we had plenty of notice for it. Last night my girlfriend mentioned she can’t afford it. I asked if she was being serious and she said yeah.

I pointed out she’s known about it for weeks so should have put the money away. She said she can’t help it and she just doesn’t have the money. I pointed out she went out with friends last Saturday, she’s been buying makeup, clothes and treating herself regularly throughout the month so she could afford it, she just chose not to budget for it.

I mentioned it’s not the first time it’s happened and she needs to stop treating our plans as not a priority and said it’s bullshit to keep cancelling on me because she refuses to budget.

She said I wasn’t being fair but I just pointed out she was being unfair to me by deliberately not putting money away for our plans and cancelling last minute.

AITA for telling her to budget for our plans?

With my girlfriend, one thing that been getting to me is her lack of budgeting and her cancelling plans. An example of this is we have tickets to an event for next weekend so we were going for a night away,

I bought the tickets last month when we made the plans so we had plenty of notice for it. Last night my girlfriend mentioned she can’t afford it. I asked if she was being serious and she said yeah.

I pointed out she’s known about it for weeks so should have put the money away. She said she can’t help it and she just doesn’t have the money. I pointed out she went out with friends last Saturday, she’s been buying makeup, clothes and treating herself regularly throughout the month so she could afford it, she just chose not to budget for it.

I mentioned it’s not the first time it’s happened and she needs to stop treating our plans as not a priority and said it’s bullshit to keep cancelling on me because she refuses to budget.

She said I wasn’t being fair but I just pointed out she was being unfair to me by deliberately not putting money away for our plans and cancelling last minute.

AIW for telling her to budget for our plans?

I've been with my girlfriend for 5 years now and we live together. She is an only child but is really close to her cousins daughter who is 15. My gf is 24. Her cousin has another daughter who is 10.

Horribly her cousin and her husband were in a car crash and they didn't make it. My gf is devastated and has been trying to be there for her cousins daughters.

My gfs aunt and uncle initially said they'd take the children on to live with them but social services said they can't as they're both late 70s and not in great health. It looks like they may be put into care.

My girlfriend mentioned to me the possibility of us taking them on. We have agreed previously we aren't likely to want kids of our own but may foster kids when we're able to as we currently don’t have the money, the room or the time.

We agreed it would be at least 10 years away before we foster children for the short term Becasue it’s just not possible for us yet and won’t be for a while.

We both have exams with work that mean most of our free time for at least 8 months of the year is taken up with revision and will be like this fo another two years.

My girlfriend suffers from depression and has had regular periods off work where she barely leaves her bed and all housework and everything is left up to me. This tends to get worse around when she is stressed and has a lot of things to do.

I told her I know she's coming from a good place but it's not practical for us to do it.

We're not poor but we're not well off and having two kids in the apartment would really stretch finances even if we would get money for them.

We live in a two bedroom apartment and the second room is the home office and wouldn’t be big enough for a bed etc anyway.

I pointed we also have one car which my gf uses for work so we wouldn’t actually be able to get them to school.

lI said we can obviously be there for them and support them in other ways but it's not realistic for them to live with us. She said I was being cruel and that they can't go into care.

I just said again it's not realistic or practical for them to live with us. She again said I was being cruel and that we should be supporting family. I just repeated again that it's not practical and explained the reasons I’ve already listed here

She called me uncaring and said I should be wanting to help. I said I do want to help but it’s not realistic to have them move in and pointed out there’s other ways to help.

AITA for saying no to them moving in?

For chores my girlfriend and I split them evenly. Some chores we alternate who does them, some only she does and some only I do. Cooking is mainly done by me but sometimes it's both of us if it's a meal with a lot of different pans. For the dishes we alternate days. 

I work from home and my gf works from the office. She recently mentioned that her colleague asked why I don't have food ready every night for her getting in.

I pointed out she gets in at least an hour before we actually eat so it wouldn't make sense anyway. She's now started going to see her mum after work and messaging me asking if I'll do food for her getting back. 

At the weekend I told her if she was going to expect me to cook pretty much every night then she can be the one doing chores each night. I said it's not fair to alternate the chore when she's now expecting me to do pretty much all of the cooking.

She said that wasn't fair as I don't mind cooking whereas neither of us like doing the dishes. I just said it's completely fair since I'm the one cooking for us.

I pointed out she's expecting to do less chores but not make up for it anywhere and she can either do her share of the cooking or she can do the dishes each night. 

She said she shouldn't be punished for going to see her mum but I just said that's exactly what she's doing to me. She's deliberately staying out later to get out of doing any cooking so she can do the dishes instead. 

AIW for expecting her to do the dishes every night?

My girlfriend and I had a nice movie night planned at the weekend. She said she saw a fun idea of how we could choose what to eat and drink. She said we could do rock, paper, scissors for a starter, main, dessert, snacks and drinks.

Whoever wins, chooses that course to be shared between us. The idea is to go round the supermarket separately and meet up at the end to how the other person what you've chosen.

I thought it sounded fun so I agreed. I won dessert, snacks and drinks and my girlfriend won starter and main. I choose two different drinks as we like to drink different things so I got wine for my gf and some cans of beer for me then got a couple of snacks for us to share and a dessert we both like.

When we met up she showed me what she had gotten. For the main she chose food she knows I don't like. I asked if she would mind changing it or getting something that I could eat instead but she refused and said the whole point of the game was that the winner chose and that she chose something she really wants to eat.

I pointed out it's not really fair to choose food you know the other person doesn't like since the idea is that it’s meant to be fun for both of us but she just said I shouldn't be starting an argument and ruining the night but I pointed out it's her ruining the night by going out of her way to choose food she knows I don't like.

AITA for expecting her to choose something else?

My girlfriend and I had a nice movie night planned at the weekend. She said she saw a fun idea of how we could choose what to eat and drink. She said we could do rock, paper, scissors for a starter, main, dessert, snacks and drinks.

Whoever wins, chooses that course to be shared between us. The idea is to go round the supermarket separately and meet up at the end to how the other person what you've chosen.

I thought it sounded fun so I agreed. I won dessert, snacks and drinks and my girlfriend won starter and main. I choose two different drinks as we like to drink different things so I got wine for my gf and some cans of beer for me then got a couple of snacks for us to share and a dessert we both like.

When we met up she showed me what she had gotten. For the main she chose food she knows I don't like. I asked if she would mind changing it or getting something that I could eat instead but she refused and said the whole point of the game was that the winner chose and that she chose something she really wants to eat.

I pointed out it's not really fair to choose food you know the other person doesn't like since the idea is that it’s meant to be fun for both of us but she just said I shouldn't be starting an argument and ruining the night but I pointed out it's her ruining the night by going out of her way to choose food she knows I don't like.

AIO for expecting her to choose something else?

I have been with my partner for 4 years and we live in the UK. we’ve had at least one holiday abroad each year then a couple of weekends away within the UK throughout the year.

Next year we planned to travel to 3 European cities and had priced things up so we knew what to expect.

We were both really looking forward to it but I pointed out to my gf that since this was more expensive that our previous holidays, we would have to do less weekends away and things next year.

My gf mentioned one of her friends had suggested a holiday next year. She said it would mean us cutting out holiday plans short. I said no since weve already planned what we’re doing and it shouldn’t be cut short just because her friends want to go away.

My gf suggested reducing our summer holiday to only 1 or 2 cities but I just said again that our holiday shouldn’t be getting cut short,

She said I was being unreasonable by refusing to even consider it and that I should be willing to compromise. I told her there shouldn't be a compromise since we have already agreed on the holiday we want for next year. She just repeated that I am being unfair by refusing to consider shprtening our holiday

AIW for refusing to shorten our holiday plans?

My girlfriend and I have been together for about four and a half years. I’ve been at my current job for around a year and a half now.

When I started, I was part of a group of new hires, but only one person, let’s call her Chloe, was doing the same role as me.

Chloe and I got along well because we had the same exams to prepare for, so we helped each other out with study tips, work-related stuff, etc. We have each other on social media and we have messaged each other about the exams, share study advice, and things like that.

After the exams, we chatted a bit about how it went and how we did. It was mostly work-related, with some small talk thrown in such as asking about weekend plans etc. I work from home, and I’ve only actually met Chloe in person three or four times in person .

Recently my girlfriend mentioned that she thinks it’s weird how much I talk to Chloe. I told her that outside of the exam period, Chloe and I mostly just talk about work stuff, and it’s not like we’re messaging constantly. My girlfriend has her own friends at work that she talks to regularly, so I didn’t think it was a big deal.

But she said it’s “different” and told me I should either stop talking to Chloe or really cut it down. I explained that I can’t just stop talking to a colleague, and I don’t see why I should have to stop being friendly with her. That’s when she said I wasn’t listening to her and that I was being disrespectful.

AIW for refusing to cut contact with a colleague?

My girlfriend and I have been together for about four and a half years. I’ve been at my current job for around a year and a half now.

When I started, I was part of a group of new hires, but only one person, let’s call her Chloe, was doing the same role as me.

Chloe and I got along well because we had the same exams to prepare for, so we helped each other out with study tips, work-related stuff, etc. We have each other on social media and we have messaged each other about the exams, share study advice, and things like that.

After the exams, we chatted a bit about how it went and how we did. It was mostly work-related, with some small talk thrown in such as asking about weekend plans etc. I work from home, and I’ve only actually met Chloe in person three or four times in person .

Recently my girlfriend mentioned that she thinks it’s weird how much I talk to Chloe. I told her that outside of the exam period, Chloe and I mostly just talk about work stuff, and it’s not like we’re messaging constantly. My girlfriend has her own friends at work that she talks to regularly, so I didn’t think it was a big deal.

But she said it’s “different” and told me I should either stop talking to Chloe or really cut it down. I explained that I can’t just stop talking to a colleague, and I don’t see why I should have to stop being friendly with her. That’s when she said I wasn’t listening to her and that I was being disrespectful.

AIO for refusing to cut contact with a colleague?

I have been with my partner for over 4 years and we've said in the next 2-3 years it would be nice if we had enough for a deposit for a house. Last month I came into a pretty substantial amount of money which will allow me to buy a house outright.

I was talking about this with my partner and mentioned to her that i could buy the house now so we’re not renting but since I would be the one paying for the house that I would only be putting my name as a homeowner. I said I don't expect her to pay rent or anything, I'd only expect her to contribute towards utilities.

She said I was being unfair since we were planning to buy a house together. I said that if she wants to wait until we both have the money then that's fine, I’m happy to wait and for us both to pay half the cost of the deposit.

She said since I have the money now, it makes sense for us to get a house now since it would mean we're not paying rent anymore.

I just repeated that if that happens then I will be the sole homeowner. She again said I was being unfair since it should be both of us but I just pointed out that I'd be the one paying for the house so I’d be the one who owns it.

She just repeated that I was being unfair towards her and that we should both be on the deeds as homeowners.

AIO for refusing to put my partners name on the deeds to the house?