Poor communication has made her want to pull back from this “situationship”, but we both want more 25m 23f
This girl and I have been seeing each other for a few months, but were taking things slow and not rushing to use labels since she recently got out of a relationship and didnt want to jump into another one right away. We worked together for probably 2+ years, and secretly had huge crushes on each other for well over a year before we started seeing each other. We get along extremely well and its the first time ive felt like somebody is the one, and the feelings are incredibly strong going both ways.
Recently she told me that she feels like my communication has been poor enough to make her think im not interested in something serious like she has come to be, and she wants to take a step back. In general i havent been a great texter, sometimes going a few days without contact. I think the tipping point was when she opened up about how she worries about whether or not we will actually turn this into a committed relationship, saying that she wants to go on dates. In the moment i missed the point, i thought she was saying that to let me know shes serious and doesnt only see me as a casual thing, but i didnt think she was saying she wants to get the ball rolling just yet. I told her i felt the same and that id love to go on a date too someday, and the “someday” gave off the impression that im hesitant to take it further. Really i was just trying to be low-pressure, pretty much saying “id love to take this further whenever you feel ready” because i knew going into this she didnt want to rush things. In hindsight i dont know how i missed the point and i shouldve asked her out.
So, she said she wants to pull back from this right now. She absolutely knows i like her and care about her, and i have verbally expressed on many occasions that i feel so deeply and serious about her. She says that im really good to her and i make her feel really good about herself in ways nobody else has. She says we’ll stay in touch and if its meant to be itll happen. I know what i need to change and im committed to doing better, but realistically what are the chances that we come back from this? I know that we share a serious connection, and i dont want to believe that a communication error is going to end it all.
This happened a week ago and i waited a few days before checking up on her since she wanted space. Ive sent her a couple light texts since then but responses are slow, which has me worried maybe im reaching out too soon. She did text me once about something lighthearted/funny that happened which gives me hope she hasnt sworn this off entirely. Im not sure how to proceed. I want to respect her space, but i dont want to give so much space that it seems im just repeating my mistakes. Its a difficult balance to find, how do i go forward?