u/DoraTheRedditor

I'm a handful of years out of school and have only stayed in jobs 1-3 years. Granted I've only had 3-4 jobs. Sometimes it was layoff, other times I left or the contract ended. It hasn't been performance, but there were close calls and I never felt like I did *especially* well. My current one may actually be terminated due to performance, I've gotten warnings.

There were highlights, sure, and I probably did better than I thought. But I felt like I'd start messing up the details, getting RSD defensive, and overall be unmotivated if I was uninterested. I would *really, really try*, but I would fall into decision paralysis or mess up details because I couldn't *make myself focus*.

And I'd get tired of it. After six months, a year, the novelty would wear off and I'd resent clocking in and out, spending the majority of my time and energy on something I didn't care about. I'd start wanting out.

I've been trying to work with therapists and career coaches, but who's to say the field I *think* I'd be passionate about would even change anything? I hate being evaluated and "graded" and criticized, but that'll be in every job.

It just feels like I'm bouncing around for a couple years at each job and I'd keep doing that. ADHDers who've been at their jobs for many years who I persobally know either 1) are in high level positions where big picture thinking is more valued than nitty gritties; 2) work in mental health related areas

I can't make it to a higher level position unless I get promoted at the low levels, which doesn't happen if I can't cut it there; and a mental health related field requires Masters or a Doctorate, which I have no money for and am uncertain if I'd have aptitude for it.

I feel stuck.

I've boomeranged back in after some time in industry. Different company and region.

I checked my posts/call logs recently... there were a lot more about self-deletion or to the crisis hotline now and in my previous go around in consulting (which is when the worst mental health crisis of my life and my first and only 'attempt' happened - wasn't due to the only job but it was an exacerbating factor), than during my time outside of it.

I'm trying to make it work. At least for a couple years, so it looks good on my CV. But I'm pretty sure this isn't a good sign.

The job market's also *very* tough right now and I wouldn't know where else to go.

Reminiscing. Wanted to inject some positivity before the downfall... here's some updates that have been great over the last 2 yrs

• The ability to remove, rewind, and duplicate chats was groundbreaking
• Story Memory
• Imagine (got so much more advanced with being able to do it per chat bubble and offer multiple options for the whole chat, and have that saved)
• Softlaunch - RIP
• Deepsqueak (has still been working well for me)

What are yours?

I'm in a new job. I moved for it. I don't much like the job but I thought I did my best. My first quarter didn't go well, if the second doesn't either I might be PIP'ed. So far I think it's going well, but the results won't come out for a while.

If I lose this job, the job market's been extremely tough. Not to mention the humiliation.

I don't know if it's worth it. The job is prestigious but has awful politics and expectations. But I don't know where else to go. I want to be in a job that I can grow in that values me and my work. I feel hopeless.

I'm neurodivergent which has made it harder to accept 'rejection', to do work consistently, and to see the positives of my work (generally harder on myself than others are but also go into panic mode if I receive criticism), so I'm just tired. I want to do something meaningful with my life. I have no idea what that looks like beyond the current survival mode.

I've tried to off myself before. I don't think it's getting to that point, but I feel directionless and terrified

(Late 20s, 3rd job in 6 years.)

My aunt died of a brain hemorrhage. Initially, we assumed it was a stroke. During her funeral, her mom's elderly care nurse - who lived with them at the time - said my aunt and her husband had an argument, and he'd slammed her head against the wall. She was in a coma for a few days before she passed.

She was a wonderful person. I hate him. Can't report to the cops, wouldn't help. Her elderly mom doesn't know.

edit: this happened a couple years ago, no the justice system here doesn't work like that here. It's not like the US where it's corrupt but is *supposed* to work. It literally will not work to report this to the cops.