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Before anything else, I want to explain why this subreddit exists.

Indian Muslims do not exactly suffer from a shortage of things to be angry, anxious or miserable about.

Every day, there is another piece of political news to worry about, another communal controversy, another debate, another tragedy somewhere in the world. There are already spaces where we can and should discuss these things.

This subreddit was created to be something different.

A place where Indian Muslims could simply exist.

Where we could talk about food, sports, college, careers, relationships, hobbies, culture and the thousand ordinary things that make up our lives. Where an Indian Muslim could open Reddit after a long and exhausting day and, for once, leave with less cortisol than he came with.

That is why this subreddit has rules against politics, ragebait and unnecessarily inflammatory content.

Not because politics is unimportant.

Not because we want to suppress anyone's opinions.

But because we believed Indian Muslims deserved at least one corner of the internet where we did not have to be angry all the time.

I believed in that idea.

I still do.

But I am stepping down as a moderator of this subreddit.

But before I say anything else, I want to acknowledge that I have never been a perfect moderator.

I have made mistakes. I have removed posts that another moderator might have left up. I have probably left posts up that should have been removed. There have been times when similar posts were treated differently simply because one was seen by a moderator and the other was not.

That is not always bias. It is not always some conspiracy to suppress a particular opinion or protect a “majoritarian narrative.”

Sometimes, it is simply the inevitable result of a small group of ordinary people trying to moderate a growing community in whatever little free time they have.

Almost all of the moderators here are dealing with significant responsibilities outside Reddit. We are students, working professionals and people with families and lives of our own. Nobody is being paid to do this. Nobody spends every waking hour refreshing the mod queue.

I can only speak for myself.

I am studying in an extremely demanding course. My college started late, while our examinations were scheduled much earlier than expected. I am currently being made to repeat assignments running into 80 pages, carvings and diagrams. I am being singled out over my beard. I have professors threatening not to allow me preparatory leave for my examinations unless I complete and submit all of my work.

I also live with chronic health conditions that already drastically reduce my quality of life.

And despite all of this, I am among the top three students in my year.

I am not saying any of this because I want sympathy or praise.

I am saying it because I want you to understand that there is an actual human being behind the username and the green moderator badge.

Despite everything happening in my life, whenever I opened Reddit even if it was only for a few minutes, I tried to moderate whatever came in front of me. I removed posts and comments that I believed violated the rules, responded to users when I could, and then went back to my actual life.

I did not have the time to hunt through every post and every comment on this subreddit.

Neither do most of the other moderators.

Apparently, however, not seeing every rule-breaking post is evidence of bias.

Removing a post is suppression.

Explaining the rules is ego.

And making a mistake is apparently sufficient reason to forget that there is a human being on the other side of the screen.

Yesterday, that became painfully clear.

A post was removed for violating the rules of this subreddit. The user disagreed with that decision.

That is completely fine.

Users have every right to question moderation decisions. Moderators should be open to criticism, and if I make a mistake, I should be held accountable for it.

Maybe I was wrong to remove that particular post. Maybe another moderator would have left it up. Maybe other posts that should also have been removed remained up because none of us saw them.

I can accept that possibility.

But look at what a disagreement over the removal of a football post became.

A disagreement over a football post ended with me being told that Allah would suppress my voice just as I had supposedly suppressed someone else's.

I was accused of deliberately waking up only to remove opinions that did not fit a “majoritarian narrative.”

The moderators of this community were called egotistical, rude and the “most shitty mods” someone had encountered in their entire time on Reddit.

We were compared unfavourably to moderators of Hindutva subreddits.

And when I tried to speak respectfully, asked where exactly I had threatened anyone, and eventually made du'a that Allah grant both of us the ability to think and understand with calmer minds, I was met with yet another insult.

Throughout that entire exchange, I kept asking one simple question:

Where exactly was I disrespectful to you?

I never received an answer.

Perhaps I made the wrong moderation decision.

But there is a difference between criticising a decision and degrading the person who made it.

There is a difference between holding moderators accountable and treating them as punching bags.

And there is something deeply wrong when a disagreement over a football post escalates to invoking Allah's judgement against a Muslim brother whom you know absolutely nothing about.

I know this is only Reddit. That is precisely the point.

I already have enough going on in my life. I cannot spend the little free time and energy I have arguing over why a football post was removed, being called egotistical and power-hungry, or having Allah’s judgement invoked against me over a moderation decision.

Almost all the moderators here are in a similar position. They have studies, jobs, families and problems of their own. They are not perfect, and neither was I. But they are volunteers trying to keep this place running.

At some point, you simply have to ask yourself whether it is worth it.

For me, it isn’t anymore.

IMS was created to be a peaceful place for Indian Muslims. I still believe in that idea. But I cannot keep trying to maintain a place of peace for everyone else when doing so is costing me my own.

I genuinely wish this subreddit, the mod team and everyone here well. Please be a little kinder to those who remain.

May Allah forgive me for my shortcomings, reward whatever good I was able to do here, and grant this community and all of you khair.

Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.