u/Dry-Celebration-9309

I (29F) suffer with C-PTSD and have been in therapy for over 6 years for it. It was effecting all of my relationships, but especially my romantic relationships. I took a couple of years off from dating as a result.

Within the last year, I decided to get on the apps and try for the first time in my life to make a healthy connection with a good man (I have not had many good men in my life at all but I know there are some out there). I met lots of people and eventually I met someone (38M) who I liked and we were seeing each other for 2.5 months. He was a good person who was very consistent. My brain kept trying to convince me I was being tricked, but I pushed through.

After a communication gap following a pretty significant physical milestone in the relationship, I posted him in the “Are we dating the same guy” group in my area. I didn’t think he was seeing other people. I thought he was ghosting me and wanted to see if other women had the same experience.

In hindsight, it was not the right choice for this situation. He is a good guy who was treating me well. I just can’t explain at the time my brain was catastrophizing into only worst case scenarios and I wasn’t regulated enough to reach out to him. If I’m being honest I was sad that someone could become physical and then go several days without talking to me afterwards too. I think I just wanted some reassurance or relief that it wasn’t my fault. Again, it was not the right thing to do and I regret it.

No one commented and I deleted the post when I snapped out of it. It was too late. Someone sent him the post. Turns out he was in his head too and was waiting for a text from me (i have thoughts but whatever; big miscommunication). I didn’t think about how it would feel on his end to find out he was in that group. I regret it and I’ve attempted to apologize several times. He won’t see me or have a phone conversation.

Is this really that bad? Those groups exist for a reason. Dating 2.5 months there’s not much trust established yet. No one commented on it and I deleted it before I knew he knew he saw it. I also owned it and took full responsibility because it was not the right outlet for my anxiety. I really liked him and I fear I ruined it. I did not set out to use the group to be malicious or vindictive (I know some women do). It’s been a few weeks and I haven’t heard from him. Is there anything I can do to fix it?

I (30/F) have been seeing this guy (39/M) for around three months. He has consistently planned dates once a week, kept in touch over text, introduced me to a few of his friends, and most recently planned to spend a day with me over a month in advance which required him to take off work. The whole time we were dating he never pressured me for sex and tbh we never talked about sex. On our third date, we both talked about how we were looking for a relationship and he shared with me that he hasn’t had a girlfriend in 10+ years.

The plans we had got canceled due to the weather. His alternate date suggestion: exploring a nearby town, visiting a museum, and finishing with dinner at his best friend’s restaurant / possibly meet his best friend? I was imagining alone time with him in private, so I suggested if the weather was really bad let’s stay in and watch movies (😉).

Up until this point all we had done was kiss and cuddle so desire had built up on both sides. He was kissing me really deeply during the movie and asked if I wanted to cuddle with him in his bed. I said yes, and very quickly we were making out in his bed with him on top of me. I felt “it” rubbing against my leg and I reached down and rubbed “it“ back. Overall, it felt like we both wanted it. We finished the first time and cuddled naked watching movies. He stayed hard for like an hour afterwards. He said it was because he was really excited. We cuddled, talked, made out and watched movies. Eventually, we had sex again. After that he ordered dinner. He didn’t seem like he wanted me to go, but he didn’t invite me to stay over. Before I left he asked me if we were going to do this again and said to text him when I got home.

I texted him saying I had fun. He told me he had a great time. Then I never heard from him again. Five days after we had sex, I texted him and said, “Hey I’m surprised I haven’t heard from you. Are you good?”. It’s been 24 hours since I sent that text and he still hasn’t responded.

Additional context: he has been slightly shy and insecure. I can tell he wasn’t a virgin, but he wasn’t extremely experienced sexually (he had a problem finding the opening) which we worked through. He told me it felt good for him. He complimented my cute face, curves, my bangs, my boobs, my outfit, and told me several times how cute and sexy I was.

It truly felt like we had a connection and were building towards a relationship. I never ever would’ve thought he would be the kind of guy to ghost me after the first time we had sex. This has been a really painful experience.

I (30/F) have been seeing this guy (39/M) for around three months. He has consistently planned dates once a week, kept in touch over text, introduced me to a few of his friends, and most recently planned to spend a day with me over a month in advance which required him to take off work. The whole time we were dating he never pressured me for sex and tbh we never talked about sex. On our third date, we both talked about how we were looking for a relationship and he shared with me that he hasn’t had a girlfriend in 10+ years.

The plans we had got canceled due to the weather. His alternate date suggestion: exploring a nearby town, visiting a museum, and finishing with dinner at his best friend’s restaurant / possibly meet his best friend? I was imagining alone time with him in private, so I suggested if the weather was really bad let’s stay in and watch movies (😉).

Up until this point all we had done was kiss and cuddle so there was a lot of desire built up on both sides. He was kissing me really deeply during the movie and asked if I wanted to cuddle with him in his bed. I said yes, and very quickly we were making out in his bed with him on top of me. I felt “it” rubbing against my leg and I reached down and rubbed “it“ back. Things escalated pretty quickly from there. Overall, it felt like we both wanted it. We finished the first time and cuddled naked watching movies. He stayed hard for like an hour afterwards. He said it was because he was really excited. We cuddled, talked, made out and watched movies. Eventually, we had sex again. After that he ordered dinner. He didn’t seem like he wanted me to go, but he didn’t invite me to stay over. Before I left he asked me if we were going to do this again and said to text him when I got home.

I texted him saying I had fun. He told me he had a great time. Then, I never heard from him again. Five days after we had sex, I texted him and said, “Hey I’m surprised I haven’t heard from you. Are you good?”. It’s been 24 hours since I sent that text and he still hasn’t responded.

Additional context: he has been slightly shy and insecure. I can tell he wasn’t a virgin, but he wasn’t extremely experienced sexually (he had a problem finding the opening) which we worked through. He told me it felt good for him. He complimented my cute face, curves, my bangs, my boobs, my outfit, and told me several times how cute and sexy I was.

It truly felt like we had a connection and were building towards a relationship. I never ever would’ve thought he would be the kind of guy to ghost me after the first time we had sex. This has been a really painful experience.