u/EffectiveAwareness60

My step dad is never physically aggressive but he does thinks sneakily. So he’s very mad that my mum has let me move back in as the house I’m staying at right now is very unstable. Of course my mums gonna let me come back but he’s not happy, he’s not ignoring my mother and does things like leaving a tap on and then when my mum asks are you gonna turn it off he says no and walks away. So basically acting like a child, when I lived there before he drove me insane, he’d leave things out, ignore you and pick at little things like I got a lotus tattoo and he goes “oh that’s a lotus is it” basically saying it doesn’t look like it when it does. He will not clean up after himself and try and attention seek. What’s the best way to deal with this?

For me I look at yoongi s upbringing, he came from poverty, unstable household, and parents not supporting his career, plus being in an unknown city with all of this going on. But it all worked out in the end and that gives me hope, I’m in a toxic household, no money, no job and my parents too, his story definitely motivates me.

I left home due to complications, after a year I realised my fathers was even worse now I feel like I’m messing people about moving back, anyone else had this experience? They live quite far away too:(

Okay so last year I moved out of my mother’s house 300 miles away because my step dad was driving me up the walls. He’d randomly lash out and verbally abuse me over things such as leaving a fork out or not hoovering something properly. He’d call me things like “fucking idiot” or “fucking useless” I’d end up saying I hate him and “I wish you never existed” as a response to make him feel what I did. But for some reason I’d feel guilty, like it was my fault and my responsibility. I ended up moving out as I couldn’t handle it anymore, the day I left he got upset and said he was sorry and didn’t want me to leave, my friends cried and so did my mum. I never felt guilt like that in my life it was awful, it’s like I felt upset for making him cry at me moving away but I left because he made me upset. Months later I still felt it, I missed my mum and the new house I moved to was my dads and brothers. Surprise surprise this house isn’t any different, arguments all the time and police been called 14 times in one year. Everytime they’d argue I’d get mad at them and say “will you just stop arguing I can’t take it”, then they’d argue with eachother again over who’s fault it is I’m upset. That made me feel guilty because it’s like their blaming eachother for how I feel which I guess is true it’s their fault but the thought of them thinking that they made me upset made me feel sad, if that makes sense. Now they push eachother and it’s getting more and more physical. I called my mum crying saying I can’t take it no more please let me move back, she agreed and I told my brother and dad and they fought again. My dad started shouting at my brother saying “this is your fault, your an idiot and stupid” and that made me upset because I don’t want my brother to feel stupid but then he pushed my dad and I felt awful for my dad as he was hurt. I hate them and love them so much the emotions are overwhelming, I got mad at my brother for hitting my dad and he lost it, he starts calling me names like “k1ll yourself” or “go back to cutt1ng yourself again your ugly” and even tho that’s horrible, for some reason my mind goes to us a few days ago having a good time laughing, or when he buys me a takeaway to watch a movie. It’s like my brain flashes good times or things they’ve done for me and makes me guilty. I’m now in this state of just pure emotional guilt, I feel bad for my dad as he’s upset im moving away again after he promised me a better life here and it’s like I feel his emotions, I’m upset my brother thinks it’s his fault even tho it is, and I feel bad for the cats as their stressed out from the shouting. It’s like everything is just my fault, my dad drove 10 hours to pick me up yesterday, he sleeps on the sofa so I can have his room and loads more just for me to say I’m moving out, but I can’t stay in such an unstable household. Why do I feel this way, it’s getting to a point of fear of disappointment, like anything I do or say will make someone hate me. This is odd for me as I’ve grown up as someone who’s always stood their ground, I never felt guilty for my actions, I’d happily cut people off who’d disrespected me and felt like nothing effected me. But lately it’s done a full 180, it feels like I’m messing with people’s emotions even tho I moved out of my mothers because of my step dad messing with my head, and I’m moving again because of my brother and dad messing my head.

I was given child benefit as I was told I was eligible a couple months back, I’m 18 and a full time uni student online but I think they got it mixed up as I took out a part time loan, I think that’s the issue anyways, I wasn’t told what was wrong with my eligibility, whether it’s my uni situation or what. Because it’s an online degree, it’s cheaper therefore I take out a part time student loan not a full one, however I think that means I’m not eligible for child benefit as a full time student?They sent me a letter saying I have to pay £1000! I’m a bit shocked as I haven’t even received £1000 in benefits, this is a mistake on THEIR end not mine, they told me I was eligible! I’m a bit concerned now as I do not have £1000…

The past month has just been insane, mentally it’s been hard. I’ve been very disconnected and disoriented, specifically the first week of July and this past week…
I can’t find anything on my star sign Virgo, plz help it’s like I’m losing my mind

Am I the only one who get extremely anxious and disconnected if somethings changed about themselves. Like it sounds stupid but if I change my usual hairstyle or I get a new outfit even, i become extremely derealised and just can’t function. I get used to it after a while but it messes with my head so bad I feel sick and I can’t eat or sleep…