u/Electrical_Addition9

Hey y’all!

I haven’t used in quite some time (almost a year) but I’m struggling so hard. I know it’s not the 7, but something I need to work through. My wife still hates me, understandably. She married me, a total dud. I fuck everything up, my job sucks, I haven’t seen my sister or met my new nephew in 6 years, I don’t see my mom, I’m lazy. These days I wake up at 6-7 and just lay there in a panic until my wife wakes up. Those are the worst moments, when I’m most scared of everything, included myself.

I think I come here because I miss a little bit of that newcomer hope. That and I love to help those folks. I know my psychiatric meds need adjustment and I have an appointment but in the meantime it’s been so dark.

I met my pastor but there’s still a part of me drifting to the end. I’ve ideated since I was a teenager. It always felt like a relief, a safety valve. Now I’m 38 and thoughts I used to be able to control have taken on a life of their own. They only have up to go, and now I have plans and letters and all that. I never thought I would.

Crying brings me relief. I’ve reached out to so many people. I guess I’m here bc I need help and this place has helped me before.

I’ll tell you one thing though - I am never going back to that shit. We can do this. We have dignity, we have love. We have each other.

In love,

P

:edit:

Thank you so much to everyone who commented, it’s all great advice! I could tell this was a good community when I stopped by and I look forward to trying all of them out! Woohoo!

Hey folks!

I won't make too long of a post, but basically I got into gaming about 2 years ago after being in recovery from drugs. I love it. I haven't played since I was a kid (I'm 38) and there is just so much to get into and I'm learning I absolutely love all of it.

I started with what I was familiar with, what looked most interesting, so I started with action rpgs, shooters, a few platformers, and mostly the classics (I have a ps5, a retroid handheld and an anbernic, oh and steam).

Now that Ive cleared most of the obvious titles (dark souls, elden ring, rdr2, horizon, etc) I'm ready to get into vintage and rpg. They've always interested me but the turn based thing seemed like such a hurdle for me as a kid, so I always watched other people play or never tried at all. Interestingly, now that Im through with all the soulsborn games, I truly am ready for something as different as a jrpg.

So my question is how do I start. I started ff6 and love it. I will probably finish it next. Then I have chronotrigger, but what else, and in what order? When should I play modern jrpgs (modern to me is ps3 and beyond). I saw people playing that game octopath and while Ive never played a game like that, it looks soooo good!

I really want to get into this and am excited for so much content.

This may not be the right forum but I need help. Myself (38 m) and my wife (33f) are incredibly codependent. Things are bad and have been for a while. The problem is that we’re both so sick neither of us will leave. We both have major trauma, depression, anxiety. She’s gotten so depressed lately and frankly has been for years and she’s developing agoraphobia. I have to take care of everything and when I’m depressed (which is often) I have to shove my emotions down and comfort her. Oh and she refuses to get treatment for her psychiatric issues or her chronic health condition.

I don’t know if I want to leave, but I know that if that’s the best alternative, I would literally rather die. I don’t mean that figuratively. I’ve been really suicidal lately and the thought of having to leave is unbearable. I don’t want to meet someone else. I don’t want to do this again with someone else. I feel so small. She speaks so abusively to me, yet I love her so desperately. She’s suicidal too and I’m worried about both of us. She howls that she wants to die. How dark can things get?

There’s so much more but that’s the gist.

Tl;dr

Marriage struggling but we’re both too codependent to leave and I feel my only option is suicide because she won’t get help.