u/Embarrassed-Kiwi-231

A couple of weeks ago I (18) realized that I would probably be better off with a guy because even though I consider myself bi and I'm romantically attracted to girls, I'm more sexually attracted to guys.

But the issue is that I have never been attracted to any gay guy or wanted to have a "gay" lifestyle. I would say I'm pretty neutral the way I come off. I'm not super masculine but I'm certainly not feminine or flamboyant.

I don't wanna go to clubs or lady Gaga concerts. I don't wanna hookup or go on Grindr. I don't wanna talk and dress like a 16 year old girl. I don't wanna be called "diva" or "queen."

I just wanna find a kinda average guy I like and spend my life with him but any guy I feel that way about is usually straight. I know I'm still young and new to this but I don't know what to do or if I even should do it. Maybe I'd rather just be single than be the "gay guy." I would hate to be viewed like that.

Are there many guys out there that don't fit those stereotypes or just do average things? Even come off as straight? I'd rather date a bi guy for that reason but I don't really know.

A couple of weeks ago I (18) realized that I would probably be better off with a guy because even though I consider myself bi and I'm romantically attracted to girls, I'm more sexually attracted to guys.

But the issue is that I have never been attracted to any gay guy or wanted to have a "gay" lifestyle. I would say I'm pretty neutral the way I come off. I'm not super masculine but I'm certainly not feminine or flamboyant.

I don't wanna go to clubs or lady Gaga concerts. I don't wanna hookup or go on Grindr. I don't wanna talk and dress like a 16 year old girl. I don't wanna be called "diva" or "queen."

I just wanna find a kinda average guy I like and spend my life with him but any guy I feel that way about is usually straight. I know I'm still young and new to this but I don't know what to do or if I even should do it. Maybe I'd rather just be single than be the "gay guy." I would hate to be viewed like that.

Are there many guys out there that don't fit those stereotypes or just do average things? Even come off as straight? I'd rather date a bi guy for that reason but I don't really know.

I came out as gay to some close friends and family a week ago after having an identity crisis the past month.

Despite years of me identifying as bi, I realized I've never really looked at girls sexually, and have been way more sexually attracted to guys.

It was so relieving coming out as gay. Such a simple solution to all the internal problems I had. I didn't have to worry about being satisfied sexually with a girl, I could just date guys.

But the thing is I've always been romantically attracted to girls. Sometimes sexually if I love them enough of if I'm in the right mood. I almost only crushed on girls growing up, and when I fell in love with a girl last year, it was the best I've ever felt. She was all I could think of.

If I was actually gay, would I have cried over a girl for 5 months? Would I have daydreamed about making out with her? Would I have spent every day trying to get close to her, to get a glimpse of her?

Last week I told myself that all my feelings for girls were fake, and that I only felt like that cause I wanted a heteronormative lifestyle, but now I'm not thinking that. I still feel in love with certain girls. I think I was just in a gay phase of my bi-cycle for the past weeks. Attractions flow, right?

Even if I'm on the gayer side of bisexuality, I feel like I've erased all the ways I've felt about girls by coming out as gay.

I think what I realized when I came out is I actually DID wanna fall in love with a guy after years of denying myself that. But that can still be true and I can still have a different attraction to girls.

I can't re-come out for a 3rd time. I don't wanna make things about me. And what's even the point if I would be more satisfied with a guy? I still don't know what I'm fully feeling, but I made a big deal out of nothing and messed everything up.

I (M18) came out as gay to some close friends and family a week ago after having an identity crisis the past month.

Despite years of me identifying as bi, I realized I've never really looked at girls sexually, and have been way more sexually attracted to guys.

It was so relieving coming out as gay. Such a simple solution to all the internal problems I had. I didn't have to worry about being satisfied sexually with a girl, I could just date guys.

But the thing is I've always been romantically attracted to girls. Sometimes sexually if I love them enough of if I'm in the right mood. I almost only crushed on girls growing up, and when I fell in love with a girl last year, it was the best I've ever felt. She was all I could think of.

If I was actually gay, would I have cried over a girl for 5 months? Would I have daydreamed about making out with her? Would I have spent every day trying to get close to her, to get a glimpse of her?

Last week I told myself that all my feelings for girls were fake, and that I only felt like that cause I wanted a heteronormative lifestyle, but now I'm not thinking that. I still feel in love with certain girls. I think I was just in a gay phase of my bi-cycle for the past weeks. Attractions flow, right?

Even if I'm on the gayer side of bisexuality, I feel like I've erased all the ways I've felt about girls by coming out as gay.

I think what I realized when I came out is I actually DID wanna fall in love with a guy after years of denying myself that. But that can still be true and I can still have a different attraction to girls.

I can't re-come out for a 3rd time. I don't wanna make things about me. And what's even the point if I would be more satisfied with a guy? I still don't know what I'm fully feeling, but I made a big deal out of nothing and messed everything up.

I (M18) came out as gay to some close friends and family a week ago after having an identity crisis the past month.

Despite years of me identifying as bi, I realized I've never really looked at girls sexually, and have been way more sexually attracted to guys.

It was so relieving coming out as gay. Such a simple solution to all the internal problems I had. I didn't have to worry about being satisfied sexually with a girl, I could just date guys.

But the thing is I've always been romantically attracted to girls. Sometimes sexually if I love them enough of if I'm in the right mood. I almost only crushed on girls growing up, and when I fell in love with a girl last year, it was the best I've ever felt. She was all I could think of.

If I was actually gay, would I have cried over a girl for 5 months? Would I have daydreamed about making out with her? Would I have spent every day trying to get close to her, to get a glimpse of her?

Last week I told myself that all my feelings for girls were fake, and that I only felt like that cause I wanted a heteronormative lifestyle, but now I'm not thinking that. I still feel in love with certain girls. I think I was just in a gay phase of my bi-cycle for the past weeks. Attractions flow, right?

Even if I'm on the gayer side of bisexuality, I feel like I've erased all the ways I've felt about girls by coming out as gay.

I think what I realized when I came out is I actually DID wanna fall in love with a guy after years of denying myself that. But that can still be true and I can still have a different attraction to girls.

I can't re-come out for a 3rd time. I don't wanna make things about me. And what's even the point if I would be more satisfied with a guy? I still don't know what I'm fully feeling, but I made a big deal out of nothing and messed everything up.

I (M18) came out as gay to some close friends and family a week ago after having an identity crisis the past month.

Despite years of me identifying as bi, I realized I've never really looked at girls sexually, and have been way more sexually attracted to guys.

It was so relieving coming out as gay. Such a simple solution to all the internal problems I had. I didn't have to worry about being satisfied sexually with a girl, I could just date guys.

But the thing is I've always been romantically attracted to girls. Sometimes sexually if I love them enough of if I'm in the right mood. I almost only crushed on girls growing up, and when I fell in love with a girl last year, it was the best I've ever felt. She was all I could think of.

If I was actually gay, would I have cried over a girl for 5 months? Would I have daydreamed about making out with her? Would I have spent every day trying to get close to her, to get a glimpse of her?

Last week I told myself that all my feelings for girls were fake, and that I only felt like that cause I wanted a heteronormative lifestyle, but now I'm not thinking that. I still feel in love with certain girls. I think I was just in a gay phase of my bi-cycle for the past weeks. Attractions flow, right?

Even if I'm on the gayer side of bisexuality, I feel like I've erased all the ways I've felt about girls by coming out as gay.

I think what I realized when I came out is I actually DID wanna fall in love with a guy after years of denying myself that. But that can still be true and I can still have a different attraction to girls.

I can't re-come out for a 3rd time. I don't wanna make things about me. And what's even the point if I would be more satisfied with a guy? I still don't know what I'm fully feeling, but I made a big deal out of nothing and messed everything up.

I (M18) came out as gay to some close friends and family a week ago after having an identity crisis the past month.

Despite years of me identifying as bi, I realized I've never really looked at girls sexually, and have been way more sexually attracted to guys.

It was so relieving coming out as gay. Such a simple solution to all the internal problems I had. I didn't have to worry about being satisfied sexually with a girl, I could just date guys.

But the thing is I've always been romantically attracted to girls. Sometimes sexually if I love them enough of if I'm in the right mood. I almost only crushed on girls growing up, and when I fell in love with a girl last year, it was the best I've ever felt. She was all I could think of.

If I was actually gay, would I have cried over a girl for 5 months? Would I have daydreamed about making out with her? Would I have spent every day trying to get close to her, to get a glimpse of her?

Last week I told myself that all my feelings for girls were fake, and that I only felt like that cause I wanted a heteronormative lifestyle, but now I'm not thinking that. I still feel in love with certain girls. I think I was just in a gay phase of my bi-cycle for the past weeks. Attractions flow, right?

Even if I'm on the gayer side of bisexuality, I feel like I've erased all the ways I've felt about girls by coming out as gay.

I think what I realized when I came out is I actually DID wanna fall in love with a guy after years of denying myself that. But that can still be true and I can still have a different attraction to girls.

I can't re-come out for a 3rd time. I don't wanna make things about me. And what's even the point if I would be more satisfied with a guy? I still don't know what I'm fully feeling, but I made a big deal out of nothing and messed everything up.

A week ago, I (18) realized that I was gay after years of thinking I was bi. I realized I only ever looked at guys sexually since the age of 6, and I have never felt that urge for girls.

It was a difficult day, but the day after was one of the best days of my life. I felt so relieved. I realized I do wanna make out and fall in love with a guy, after years of suppressing it and telling myself I didn't want it. I also realized I wouldn't have to lie or force myself to feel something for a girl.

But the thing is I've crushed on girls since I was little. Sometimes for years, very intensely, all I can think of. Even last year, I fell in love with a girl. She was all I could look at, she was so beautiful and cool. I wanted to kiss her, and went on a couple dates with her, and I have never felt so good or in love. I cried about her for weeks afterwards, and I spent the rest of the year looking around for glimpses of her. I didn't think of her sexually though.

So am I gay? Am I still bi? I already came out to my close circle and I don't really wanna go back on that. I've told myself I only liked girls cause I liked the idea of being in love, but I don't think that's true, and I still feel that romantic pull sometimes. I'm probably never gonna get with a girl for obvious reasons, but I'm still confused to what my feelings are.

A week ago, I (18) realized that I was gay after years of thinking I was bi. I realized I only ever looked at guys sexually since the age of 6, and I have never felt that urge for girls.

It was a difficult day, but the day after was one of the best days of my life. I felt so relieved. I realized I do** **wanna make out and fall in love with a guy, after years of suppressing it and telling myself I didn't want it. I also realized I wouldn't have to lie or force myself to feel something for a girl.

But the thing is I've crushed on girls since I was little. Sometimes for years, very intensely, all I can think of. Even last year, I fell in love with a girl. She was all I could look at, she was so beautiful and cool. I wanted to kiss her, and went on a couple dates with her, and I have never felt so good or in love. I cried about her for weeks afterwards, and I spent the rest of the year looking around for glimpses of her. I didn't think of her sexually though.

So am I gay? Am I still bi? I already came out to my close circle and I don't really wanna go back on that. I've told myself I only liked girls cause I liked the idea of being in love, but I don't think that's true, and I still feel that romantic pull sometimes. I'm probably never gonna get with a girl for obvious reasons, but I'm still confused to what my feelings are.

TL;DR: After years of identifying as bi, I've realized that I might just be gay and I have accepted and enjoyed the fact that I could date a guy. However, all my life I have had extremely intense, years long, romantic attractions to girls, and I still feel it today. And yet sexually, I have always almost exclusively looked at guys, rarely ever girls. Should I just say I'm gay, due to the sexual aspect and perhaps overall satisfaction, or should I still say I'm bi because the feelings I have had for girls were very real? Is saying I'm bi keeping my options open, or holding myself back? Do gay guys feel this way?

A couple of days ago I (18m) finally came to terms with the fact that I am probably gay after years of considering myself bi. It felt so relieving to realize I could be with a guy I loved and found attractive.

But the thing is, ever since I was really little, I've had intense crushes and romantic attractions to girls. They would last for years, they would be all I could think of.

At the same time, my sexual fantasies have mostly only been guys, and I have never really looked at a girl and felt sexually about her. I've only felt a sexual rush of excitement for guys. The thought of having a sexual relationship with a girl always stressed me out because I didn't have an urge for it. The thought of having sex with a random girl, even if attractive, turned me off.

I never understood why boys in movies would be obsessed with playboys or girls in bikinis because it didn't do anything for me. And I never looked at female porn much. It was only guys and gay porn when I first got access to computer. Sometimes female porn would do something for me, sometimes really intensely, but I feel like I was maybe forcing myself, and it was somewhat rare.

It felt good to come to terms with probably being gay because there were so many things that I felt like I had to hide before, and was stressed about finding a girl I would 100% be attracted to. And I realized that I had repressed any romantic feelings I had felt with guys.

But I still feel the romantic attraction for girls. I still feel blown away, pupil-dilated, not able to think or speak when I see a girl that's extremely beautiful, and I'll go around looking for her because it feels like I'm in love. But it's not a sexual attraction, and it doesn't happen too often though because the lust just isn't there.

Exactly last year, I almost came to terms with how I currently am thinking I'm gay, but then there was a cool, beautiful girl in my class that I instantly fell in love with. She was all I could look at or think of for months, my only motivation to go to school some days. I shortly dated her, and it was the highest I've ever felt.

I wanted to kiss her so much like an urge I've never felt before. I lost interest in everyone and everything else. Even after it ended, I couldn't help but always want to be around her, and I spent the whole day trying not to throw up when I found out she was stating another guy.

I was sexually interested in her, but not in an erotic way or lustful way, like how you would watch porn. It was because I was in love with her. And even though I craved her touch and closeness, and I found her body very attractive, I never really cared to see her naked- I wouldn't have minded it though.

Sometimes I do sexually fantasize about girls, and sometimes find female porn arousing, especially their genitalia. But it is very irregular, and way less of an urge that I feel with guys. And it's not something I really spontaneously feel in real life. I've spent months researching the science behind it, and I know that the arousal part of the brain is separate from the romantic part of the brain, so things might not always align.

So am I gay? Are we going only strictly on arousal, or romantic feelings? Am I still bi? You can say labels don't matter, but there are certain biological aspects that are ingrained in you that you can't change. It's simply the way your brain developed as a fetus.

I'm still hesitant to say that I'm gay because I know how strongly I've felt about girls, but I hesitate to say I'm bi because I've never felt that sexual pull towards girls. I also don't know if I'm tricking myself into thinking I'm bi to be slightly straight to save my ego.

And part of me doesn't want to close the door to girls by saying I'm gay, in case I feel really attracted to one again, but what's the point in keeping the door open if I have realized that biologically I am drawn to guys? I don't wanna stress myself out by forcing myself to feel sexually attracted to a girl.

Is this something that gay guys experience? Is keeping the door open to girls holding me back? Should I fully embrace the fact that I will probably be more fulfilled in a relationship with a guy, or should I still say I'm bi to acknowledge that part of myself that I feel is very real, in case something comes along?

TL;DR: After years of identifying as bi, I've realized that I might just be gay and I have accepted and enjoyed the fact that I could date a guy. However, all my life I have had extremely intense, years long, romantic attractions to girls, and I still feel it today. And yet sexually, I have always almost exclusively looked at guys, rarely girls. Should I just say I'm gay, due to the sexual aspect and perhaps overall satisfaction, or should I still say I'm bi because the feelings I have had for girls were very real? Is saying I'm bi keeping my options open, or holding myself back? Do gay guys feel this way?

A couple of days ago I (18m) finally came to terms with the fact that I am probably gay after years of considering myself bi. It felt so relieving to realize I could be with a guy I loved and found attractive.

But the thing is, ever since I was really little, I've had intense crushes and romantic attractions to girls. They would last for years, they would be all I could think of.

At the same time, my sexual fantasies have mostly only been guys, and I have never really looked at a girl and felt sexually about her. I've only felt a sexual rush of excitement for guys. The thought of having a sexual relationship with a girl always stressed me out because I didn't have an urge for it. The thought of having sex with a random girl, even if attractive, turned me off.

I never understood why boys in movies would be obsessed with playboys or girls in bikinis because it didn't do anything for me. And I never looked at female porn much. It was only guys and gay porn when I first got access to computer. Sometimes female porn would do something for me, sometimes really intensely, but I feel like I was maybe forcing myself, and it was somewhat rare.

It felt good to come to terms with probably being gay because there were so many things that I felt like I had to hide before, and was stressed about finding a girl I would 100% be attracted to. And I realized that I had repressed any romantic feelings I had felt with guys.

But I still feel the romantic attraction for girls. I still feel blown away, pupil-dilated, not able to think or speak when I see a girl that's extremely beautiful, and I'll go around looking for her because it feels like I'm in love. But it's not a sexual attraction, and it doesn't happen too often though because the lust just isn't there.

Exactly last year, I almost came to terms with how I currently am thinking I'm gay, but then there was a cool, beautiful girl in my class that I instantly fell in love with. She was all I could look at or think of for months, my only motivation to go to school some days. I shortly dated her, and it was the highest I've ever felt.

I wanted to kiss her so much like an urge I've never felt before. I lost interest in everyone and everything else. Even after it ended, I couldn't help but always want to be around her, and I spent the whole day trying not to throw up when I found out she was stating another guy.

I was sexually interested in her, but not in an erotic way or lustful way, like how you would watch porn. It was because I was in love with her. And even though I craved her touch and closeness, and I found her body very attractive, I never really cared to see her naked- I wouldn't have minded it though.

Sometimes I do sexually fantasize about girls, and sometimes find female porn arousing, especially their genitalia. But it is very irregular, and way less of an urge that I feel with guys. And it's not something I really spontaneously feel in real life. I've spent months researching the science behind it, and I know that the arousal part of the brain is separate from the romantic part of the brain, so things might not always align.

So am I gay? Are we going only strictly on arousal, or romantic feelings? Am I still bi? You can say labels don't matter, but there are certain biological aspects that are ingrained in you that you can't change. It's simply the way your brain developed as a fetus.

I'm still hesitant to say that I'm gay because I know how strongly I've felt about girls, but I hesitate to say I'm bi because I've never felt that sexual pull towards girls. I also don't know if I'm tricking myself into thinking I'm bi to be slightly straight to save my ego.

And part of me doesn't want to close the door to girls by saying I'm gay, in case I feel really attracted to one again, but what's the point in keeping the door open if I have realized that biologically I am drawn to guys? I don't wanna stress myself out by forcing myself to feel sexually attracted to a girl.

Is this something that gay guys experience? Is keeping the door open to girls holding me back? Should I fully embrace the fact that I will probably be more fulfilled in a relationship with a guy, or should I still say I'm bi to acknowledge that part of myself that I feel is very real, in case something comes along?

TL;DR: After years of identifying as bi, I've realized that I might just be gay and I have accepted and enjoyed the fact that I could date a guy. However, all my life I have had extremely intense, years long, romantic attractions to girls, and I still feel it today. And yet sexually, I have always almost exclusively looked at guys, rarely ever girls. Should I just say I'm gay, due to the sexual aspect and perhaps overall satisfaction, or should I still say I'm bi because the feelings I have had for girls were very real? Is saying I'm bi keeping my options open, or holding myself back? Do gay guys feel this way?

A couple of days ago I (18m) finally came to terms with the fact that I am probably gay after years of considering myself bi. It felt so relieving to realize I could be with a guy I loved and found attractive.

But the thing is, ever since I was really little, I've had intense crushes and romantic attractions to girls. They would last for years, they would be all I could think of.

At the same time, my sexual fantasies have mostly only been guys, and I have never really looked at a girl and felt sexually about her. I've only felt a sexual rush of excitement for guys. The thought of having a sexual relationship with a girl always stressed me out because I didn't have an urge for it. The thought of having sex with a random girl, even if attractive, turned me off.

I never understood why boys in movies would be obsessed with playboys or girls in bikinis because it didn't do anything for me. And I never looked at female porn much. It was only guys and gay porn when I first got access to computer. Sometimes female porn would do something for me, sometimes really intensely, but I feel like I was maybe forcing myself, and it was somewhat rare.

It felt good to come to terms with probably being gay because there were so many things that I felt like I had to hide before, and was stressed about finding a girl I would 100% be attracted to. And I realized that I had repressed any romantic feelings I had felt with guys.

But I still feel the romantic attraction for girls. I still feel blown away, pupil-dilated, not able to think or speak when I see a girl that's extremely beautiful, and I'll go around looking for her because it feels like I'm in love. But it's not a sexual attraction, and it doesn't happen too often though because the lust just isn't there.

Exactly last year, I almost came to terms with how I currently am thinking I'm gay, but then there was a cool, beautiful girl in my class that I instantly fell in love with. She was all I could look at or think of for months, my only motivation to go to school some days. I shortly dated her, and it was the highest I've ever felt.

I wanted to kiss her so much like an urge I've never felt before. I lost interest in everyone and everything else. Even after it ended, I couldn't help but always want to be around her, and I spent the whole day trying not to throw up when I found out she was stating another guy.

I was sexually interested in her, but not in an erotic way or lustful way, like how you would watch porn. It was because I was in love with her. And even though I craved her touch and closeness, and I found her body very attractive, I never really cared to see her naked- I wouldn't have minded it though.

Sometimes I do sexually fantasize about girls, and sometimes find female porn arousing, especially their genitalia. But it is very irregular, and way less of an urge that I feel with guys. And it's not something I really spontaneously feel in real life. I've spent months researching the science behind it, and I know that the arousal part of the brain is separate from the romantic part of the brain, so things might not always align.

So am I gay? Are we going only strictly on arousal, or romantic feelings? Am I still bi? You can say labels don't matter, but there are certain biological aspects that are ingrained in you that you can't change. It's simply the way your brain developed as a fetus.

I'm still hesitant to say that I'm gay because I know how strongly I've felt about girls, but I hesitate to say I'm bi because I've never felt that sexual pull towards girls. I also don't know if I'm tricking myself into thinking I'm bi to be slightly straight to save my ego.

And part of me doesn't want to close the door to girls by saying I'm gay, in case I feel really attracted to one again, but what's the point in keeping the door open if I have realized that biologically I am drawn to guys? I don't wanna stress myself out by forcing myself to feel sexually attracted to a girl.

Is this something that gay guys experience? Is keeping the door open to girls holding me back? Should I fully embrace the fact that I will probably be more fulfilled in a relationship with a guy, or should I still say I'm bi to acknowledge that part of myself that I feel is very real, in case something comes along?

TL;DR: After years of identifying as bi, I've realized that I might just be gay and I have accepted and enjoyed the fact that I could date a guy. However, all my life I have had extremely intense, years long, romantic attractions to girls, and I still feel it today. And yet sexually, I have always almost exclusively looked at guys, rarely ever girls. Should I just say I'm gay, due to the sexual aspect and perhaps overall satisfaction, or should I still say I'm bi because the feelings I have had for girls were very real? Is saying I'm bi keeping my options open, or holding myself back? Do gay guys feel this way?

A couple of days ago I (18m) finally came to terms with the fact that I am probably gay after years of considering myself bi. It felt so relieving to realize I could be with a guy I loved and found attractive.

But the thing is, ever since I was really little, I've had intense crushes and romantic attractions to girls. They would last for years, they would be all I could think of.

At the same time, my sexual fantasies have mostly only been guys, and I have never really looked at a girl and felt sexually about her. I've only felt a sexual rush of excitement for guys. The thought of having a sexual relationship with a girl always stressed me out because I didn't have an urge for it. The thought of having sex with a random girl, even if attractive, turned me off.

I never understood why boys in movies would be obsessed with playboys or girls in bikinis because it didn't do anything for me. And I never looked at female porn much. It was only guys and gay porn when I first got access to computer. Sometimes female porn would do something for me, sometimes really intensely, but I feel like I was maybe forcing myself, and it was somewhat rare.

It felt good to come to terms with probably being gay because there were so many things that I felt like I had to hide before, and was stressed about finding a girl I would 100% be attracted to. And I realized that I had repressed any romantic feelings I had felt with guys.

But I still feel the romantic attraction for girls. I still feel blown away, pupil-dilated, not able to think or speak when I see a girl that's extremely beautiful, and I'll go around looking for her because it feels like I'm in love. But it's not a sexual attraction, and it doesn't happen too often though because the lust just isn't there.

Exactly last year, I almost came to terms with how I currently am thinking I'm gay, but then there was a cool, beautiful girl in my class that I instantly fell in love with. She was all I could look at or think of for months, my only motivation to go to school some days. I shortly dated her, and it was the highest I've ever felt.

I wanted to kiss her so much like an urge I've never felt before. I lost interest in everyone and everything else. Even after it ended, I couldn't help but always want to be around her, and I spent the whole day trying not to throw up when I found out she was stating another guy.

I was sexually interested in her, but not in an erotic way or lustful way, like how you would watch porn. It was because I was in love with her. And even though I craved her touch and closeness, and I found her body very attractive, I never really cared to see her naked- I wouldn't have minded it though.

Sometimes I do sexually fantasize about girls, and sometimes find female porn arousing, especially their genitalia. But it is very irregular, and way less of an urge that I feel with guys. And it's not something I really spontaneously feel in real life. I've spent months researching the science behind it, and I know that the arousal part of the brain is separate from the romantic part of the brain, so things might not always align.

So am I gay? Are we going only strictly on arousal, or romantic feelings? Am I still bi? You can say labels don't matter, but there are certain biological aspects that are ingrained in you that you can't change. It's simply the way your brain developed as a fetus.

I'm still hesitant to say that I'm gay because I know how strongly I've felt about girls, but I hesitate to say I'm bi because I've never felt that sexual pull towards girls. I also don't know if I'm tricking myself into thinking I'm bi to be slightly straight to save my ego.

And part of me doesn't want to close the door to girls by saying I'm gay, in case I feel really attracted to one again, but what's the point in keeping the door open if I have realized that biologically I am drawn to guys? I don't wanna stress myself out by forcing myself to feel sexually attracted to a girl.

Is this something that gay guys experience? Is keeping the door open to girls holding me back? Should I fully embrace the fact that I will probably be more fulfilled in a relationship with a guy, or should I still say I'm bi to acknowledge that part of myself that I feel is very real, in case something comes along?

TL;DR: I have had huge crushes on girls since early childhood and am almost exclusively romantically attracted to girls, but I've also almost exclusively been sexually attracted to guys. I don't know what to do.

I have identified as bi for a while now, since coming to terms with the ways I've felt in my mid teens, but I was reading an article about how men that come out as gay after getting married are often "very romantically attracted or in love with their wives, but after years of marriage, the excitement ends, and their gay sexual attractions become too hard to ignore." That made me question everything, cause it sounded similar to me. I finally started to think deeper about the ways I've felt my entire life, and it's put me in a really dark place... am I actually just gay??

(My parents have always been very open minded and I've never believed in any sort of religion. They already know I'm bi, and I have somewhat explained some of these things to them already because I've been in a really bad place recently. So it's not like I'm worried about being accepted or other cultural things.)

I've crushed on girls ever since I can remember. When I was really little, when I would see pretty girls or ladies I would blush and get super flustered. In real life or TV, there were girls that I, very obviously to the people around me, was in love with. They were small crushes when I was little, but as I got older they were extremely intense. I would lose meals and sleep over how much I was in love with them. They would be what would motivate me to go to school, and be the only thing I could think of for months. I had never felt that way about guys.

But I was also almost exclusively sexually attracted to guys. Starting from as young as five, I was only sexually interested in guys. Of course I didn't know the words for it, but I would always look around men's changing/locker rooms and get aroused. I had never had that urge for girls, and never cared to see them in a sexual manner. I didn't feel anything about butts or boobs, though I still find their bodies attractive from an objective standpoint. With men, there was never any specific guy that I felt attracted to, just in general I felt that way about men's bodies.

When I first heard about gay people when I was seven or eight, I was kind of confused because I couldn't understand how a guy could fall in love with another guy. I wasn't judgmental and I didn't think it was wrong, I just couldn't comprehend having a guy feelings for another guy cause I had only felt that way about girls. Somehow I didn't know that me getting raging boners in front of naked guys wasn't "straight."

When I first got unregulated Internet access at around 11, I basically only looked at gay stuff. I had no interest in female porn, it didn't do anything for me. Eventually, maybe when I was 14 Ish, I started to feel some sexual attraction to girls, but it wasn't near as regular or intense. My sexual attraction to girls actually has grown since then, and there are times that I feel aroused by girls, but it's usually circumstantial and irregular. And I have rarely looked at a girl in real life, no matter how few clothes she's wearing, and felt aroused.

Last year, there was a girl I started talking to that I was extremely in love with. It didn't last long, but I liked her so much that it felt like I was gonna pass out every time I was around her, and she was so beautiful I couldn't keep my eyes off of her. I was sexually interested in her, and I would fantasize about her, but not in a lustful way like how you would watch porn. I didn't even really care to see her naked, it was because I loved her so much, and I only felt sexually interested in her specifically because I was in love with her and I loved her energy. There was nothing I wanted more than a real relationship with her. We never kissed, but once we got close, and my heart was beating so fast that it was the best I had ever felt. Even after it ended, she was all I could think of for months afterwards.

There was only one guy, a now-friend actually, who as soon as I saw him I got a crush on. I was very much interested in him sexually. But over time I realized that I actually just found him extremely attractive, and thought he was cool/liked him as a friend. I never had any sort of urge to date him or be in a relationship with him, and I didn't have the butterflies in the stomach that I felt with girls. Even if he wasn't straight, I wouldn't want to date him

I only have had one sexual experience and it was with a random guy slightly older than me, and I hated it because there was nothing there emotionally. While I was excited about it beforehand, as soon as it happened, I regretted it horribly. I never even finished or anything.

So am I actually just gay? My mental health has been ruined for weeks because of it, and I've been spiraling, feeling like I've been living a lie. I keep trying to test myself with different kinds of porn, but that's just made it worse so I'm gonna stop.

If there's a guy I feel that way about, I wouldn't mind dating him, I just can't see myself doing that and I've never had that urge. And I would feel like I'm missing out on girls. But I also don't want to hurt a girl if I realize I can't do it. I don't wanna be in a relationship where I don't feel fulfilled sexually. Having to end it for something like that and coming out later would be even worse.

I guess I've come to terms with it in some ways, knowing that I don't have to do anything I don't want to do, and I don't have to label myself or date anyone if I don't want to. I want a monogamous relationship, and I don't want there to be any weird arrangements. I've just decided to call relationships off for my future which makes me really sad in a lot of ways but it seems like the best option right now.

There's only one guy I know (on reddit) who happens to be my age and is experiencing basically exactly what I am, and he also hates his life. I just don't know what to do and I don't want to keep living if it's gonna be this way. I'm gonna quit porn for now and see how I feel naturally, but idk. My life is just about to begin but it feels like it's already ending

TL;DR: I have had huge crushes on girls since early childhood and am almost exclusively romantically attracted to girls, but I've also almost exclusively been sexually attracted to guys. I don't know what to do.

I have identified as bi for a while now, since coming to terms with the ways I've felt in my mid teens, but I was reading an article about how men that come out as gay after getting married are often "very romantically attracted or in love with their wives, but after years of marriage, the excitement ends, and their gay sexual attractions become too hard to ignore." That made me question everything, cause it sounded similar to me. I finally started to think deeper about the ways I've felt my entire life, and it's put me in a really dark place... am I actually just gay??

(My parents have always been very open minded and I've never believed in any sort of religion. They already know I'm bi, and I have somewhat explained some of these things to them already because I've been in a really bad place recently. So it's not like I'm worried about being accepted or other cultural things.)

I've crushed on girls ever since I can remember. When I was really little, when I would see pretty girls or ladies I would blush and get super flustered. In real life or TV, there were girls that I, very obviously to the people around me, was in love with. They were small crushes when I was little, but as I got older they were extremely intense. I would lose meals and sleep over how much I was in love with them. They would be what would motivate me to go to school, and be the only thing I could think of for months. I had never felt that way about guys.

But I was also almost exclusively sexually attracted to guys. Starting from as young as five, I was only sexually interested in guys. Of course I didn't know the words for it, but I would always look around men's changing/locker rooms and get aroused. I had never had that urge for girls, and never cared to see them in a sexual manner. I didn't feel anything about butts or boobs, though I still find their bodies attractive from an objective standpoint. With men, there was never any specific guy that I felt attracted to, just in general I felt that way about men's bodies.

When I first heard about gay people when I was seven or eight, I was kind of confused because I couldn't understand how a guy could fall in love with another guy. I wasn't judgmental and I didn't think it was wrong, I just couldn't comprehend having a guy feelings for another guy cause I had only felt that way about girls. Somehow I didn't know that me getting raging boners in front of naked guys wasn't "straight."

When I first got unregulated Internet access at around 11, I basically only looked at gay stuff. I had no interest in female porn, it didn't do anything for me. Eventually, maybe when I was 14 Ish, I started to feel some sexual attraction to girls, but it wasn't near as regular or intense. My sexual attraction to girls actually has grown since then, and there are times that I feel aroused by girls, but it's usually circumstantial and irregular. And I have rarely looked at a girl in real life, no matter how few clothes she's wearing, and felt aroused.

Last year, there was a girl I started talking to that I was extremely in love with. It didn't last long, but I liked her so much that it felt like I was gonna pass out every time I was around her, and she was so beautiful I couldn't keep my eyes off of her. I was sexually interested in her, and I would fantasize about her, but not in a lustful way like how you would watch porn. I didn't even really care to see her naked, it was because I loved her so much, and I only felt sexually interested in her specifically because I was in love with her and I loved her energy. There was nothing I wanted more than a real relationship with her. We never kissed, but once we got close, and my heart was beating so fast that it was the best I had ever felt. Even after it ended, she was all I could think of for months afterwards.

There was only one guy, a now-friend actually, who as soon as I saw him I got a crush on. I was very much interested in him sexually. But over time I realized that I actually just found him extremely attractive, and thought he was cool/liked him as a friend. I never had any sort of urge to date him or be in a relationship with him, and I didn't have the butterflies in the stomach that I felt with girls. Even if he wasn't straight, I wouldn't want to date him

I only have had one sexual experience and it was with a random guy slightly older than me, and I hated it because there was nothing there emotionally. While I was excited about it beforehand, as soon as it happened, I regretted it horribly. I never even finished or anything.

So am I actually just gay? My mental health has been ruined for weeks because of it, and I've been spiraling, feeling like I've been living a lie. I keep trying to test myself with different kinds of porn, but that's just made it worse so I'm gonna stop.

If there's a guy I feel that way about, I wouldn't mind dating him, I just can't see myself doing that and I've never had that urge. And I would feel like I'm missing out on girls. But I also don't want to hurt a girl if I realize I can't do it. I don't wanna be in a relationship where I don't feel fulfilled sexually. Having to end it for something like that and coming out later would be even worse.

I guess I've come to terms with it in some ways, knowing that I don't have to do anything I don't want to do, and I don't have to label myself or date anyone if I don't want to. I want a monogamous relationship, and I don't want there to be any weird arrangements. I've just decided to call relationships off for my future which makes me really sad in a lot of ways but it seems like the best option right now.

There's only one guy I know (on reddit) who happens to be my age and is experiencing basically exactly what I am, and he also hates his life. I just don't know what to do and I don't want to keep living if it's gonna be this way. I'm gonna quit porn for now and see how I feel naturally, but idk. My life is just about to begin but it feels like it's already ending

I have identified as bi for a while now, since coming to terms with the ways I've felt in my mid teens, but I finally started to think deeper about the ways I've felt my entire life, and it's put me in a really dark place... am I actually just gay??

(My parents have always been very open minded and I've never believed in any sort of religion. They had never specified who I was supposed to be with in relationships when I was growing up, and made it very clear they would always love me no matter what my orientation was. They already know I'm bi, and I have somewhat explained some of these things to them already because I've been in a really bad place recently. So it's not like I'm worried about being accepted or other cultural things.)

I've crushed on girls ever since I can remember. When I was really little, when I would see pretty girls or ladies I would blush and get super flustered. In real life or TV, there were girls that I, very obviously to the people around me, was in love with. They were small crushes when I was little, but as I got older they were extremely intense. I would lose food and sleep over how much I was in love with them. They would be what would motivate me to go to school, and be the only thing I could think of for months. I had never felt that way about guys.

But I was also almost exclusively sexually attracted to guys. Starting from as young as five, I was only sexually interested in guys. Of course I didn't know the words for it, but I would always look around men's changing/locker rooms and get aroused. I had never had that urge for girls. There was never any specific guy that I felt attracted to, just in general I felt that way about men's bodies.

When I first heard about gay people when I was seven or eight, I was kind of confused because I couldn't understand how a guy could fall in love with another guy. I wasn't judgmental and I didn't think it was wrong, I just couldn't comprehend having a guy feelings for another guy cause I had only felt that way about girls. Somehow I didn't know that me getting raging boners in front of naked guys wasn't "straight."

When I first got unregulated Internet access at around 11, I basically only looked at gay stuff. I had no interest in female porn, it didn't do anything for me. Eventually, maybe when I was 14 Ish, I started to feel some sexual attraction to girls, but it wasn't near as regular or intense. My sexual attraction to girls actually has grown since then, and there are times that I feel very aroused by girls, but it's usually circumstantial and irregular. And I have rarely looked at a girl in real life, no matter how few clothes she's wearing, and felt aroused.

Last year, there was a girl I started talking to that I was extremely in love with. It didn't last long, but I liked her so much that it felt like I was gonna pass out every time I was around her, and she was so beautiful I couldn't keep my eyes off of her. I was sexually interested in her, and I would regularly fantasize about her, but not in a lustful way like how you would watch porn. I didn't even really care to see her naked, it was because I loved her so much, and I only felt sexually interested in her specifically because I was in love with her. I was in love with her energy and everything about her, there was nothing I wanted more than a real relationship with her. We never kissed, but once we got close, and my heart was beating so fast that it was the best I had ever felt. Even after it ended, she was all I could think of for months afterwards.

There was only one guy, a now-friend actually, who as soon as I saw him I got a crush on. I was very much interested in him sexually. But over time I realized that I actually just found him extremely attractive, and thought he was cool/liked him as a friend. I never had any sort of urge to date him or be in a relationship with him, and I didn't have the butterflies in the stomach that I felt with girls. Even if he wasn't straight, I wouldn't want to date him

I only have had one sexual experience and it was with a random guy slightly older than me, and I hated it because there was nothing there emotionally. While I was excited about it beforehand, as soon as it happened, I regretted it horribly. I never even finished or anything.

So am I actually just gay? My mental health has been ruined for weeks because of it, and I've been spiraling, feeling like I've been living a lie. I keep trying to test myself with different kinds of porn, but that's just made it worse so I'm gonna stop.

If there's a guy I feel that way about, I wouldn't mind dating him, I just can't see myself doing that and I've never had that urge. And I would feel like I'm missing out on girls. But I also don't want to hurt a girl if I realize I can't do it. I don't wanna be in a relationship where I don't feel fulfilled sexually. Having to end it for something like that and coming out later would be even worse.

I guess I've come to terms with it in some ways, knowing that I don't have to do anything I don't want to do, and I don't have to say I'm gay or date a guy if I don't want to. I want a monogamous relationship, and I don't want there to be any weird arrangements. I've just decided to call relationships off for my future which makes me really sad in a lot of ways but it seems like the best option right now.

There's only one guy I know (on reddit) who happens to be my age and is experiencing basically exactly what I am, and he also hates his life. I just don't know what to do and I don't want to keep living if it's gonna be this way. I'm gonna quit porn for now and see how I feel naturally, but idk. My life is just about to begin but it feels like it's already ending.