u/Euphoric_Discount_ME

I've found non-profit funeral homes in the US that are usually apart of a religious organization or associations but having worked in a family funeral home for 3-4 years the only thing I genuinely have come to hate is the bill we have to give to families, and we're a particularly affordable funeral home locally.

I can tolerate prepping worse cases, I can work with terrible families, be on call 24/7, long hours, and I can do it all again but charging so money for death care genuinely hits the hardest and I don't know why. I don't consider myself a particularly altruistic person, but if I could cut costs myself I would. Not being able to give someone ashes because a bill was left unpaid kills me and I remember every face I had to turn away. Being pragmatic about how rough and demanding the costs are in the industry has not let me to hand wave it away. Theres no way around costs I know that.

How feasible are non-profit funeral homes or crematoriums? I know the demand would be crushing on a large county, especially a place open to the public, when you become the cheapest option thats just how it can be.

Are there other options aside from body donation or release a body to the state that I don't know about?

Honestly every conversation I've started about this topic to other folks in the industry, mostly older folks, have been exhausting and made me feel like I'm crazy for finding it so upsetting.

I'm going to be busy this father's day helping care for my grandmother so I won't get to hangout with my dad like I wanted to, but I'll have plenty of time after to do something for him.

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I've seen some folks polish down cast iron with drill grit/sanding/polishing attachments and wonder if this would be manageable to do as someone who doesn't have experience with it with enough research. The hours putting elbow grease to it is a none issue for me too.

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Are polished skillets worth the hype as well? I feel like he'd love it, but is the quality of a polished one vs a non-polished one notable? It looks so but I don't cook with cast iron.

Context for myself, I'm a transgender man and have been on HRT for 4 years, taking around .30mml of T injected intermuscularly every week, my POTS symptoms only became severe within the past year or so and it led to me getting an actual diagnosis as why I was so sick all the time a couple months ago.

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Specifically hyperandrenic pots. my T levels are in the mid 600 hundred range and haven't changed much since starting.

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Though before diagnosis I genuinely had no clue what it was that was making my life so debilitating, especially when changes in activity level, diet, etc just didnt help. There is a lot of reasons it might have developed, I had immune issues prior and getting covid definitely tore me up, but there are plenty of other life factors that were at play that could have cause the dysautonomic issues.

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But Specifically I've noticed lately if I miss my shot day with T my POTS symptoms get better over the next following days, sometimes drastically so. Those days have made a HUGE impact in how active I can be before symptoms drag me back down.

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Before I had POTS Testosterone made improvements in my life in so many ways, everything from my mental to my physical health. It had never before felt like my body and mind were actually one whole thing prior, and suddenly I just felt plain normal for the first time. Not extraordinary, just suddenly life was managable and finally I had the desire to be an active participant in my own life. I got to the point I no longer needed my anxiety meds and I gradually became more resilient & had self security.

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I also suspect I have a connective tissue condition too, EDLS & hypermobility is something my mother & siblings have and I have many of the same symptoms tho less severe, but the muscle and joint issues I do have just made huge improvements on HRT. I was taking it for gender care but it had an over positive snowball effect on everything else health wise with my body.

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When I have insurance again I plan on getting to an endocrinologist again but I mention all of this because of course I don't want to get off of it. Eventually I'd lose muscle and the physical support it helped give my body, even outside of my mental & emotional well being that would be devastating but I can't deny how much worse my POTS is on consistent T shots.

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My heart rate is worse with harder spikes, my flares are more difficult to manage when I'm trying to work my shifts & keep my job, I need to sleep more but dont feel rested, i have to stop and lay down consistently after i eat to digest my food, and it just feels like all my issues with the physical impact of stress hits my autonomic systems ×10 times harder.

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I've been regularly skipping extra days between shots because I hold out for the few days after missing them where I can have my POTS symptoms feel less severe but where I still don't yet feel the effects of lower-testosterone. Its been a balancing act and I've put a rough gap of 13 days between shots on average.

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I've seen that men tend to have better outcomes with pots, but i also have seen some information that Testosterone can raise specific stress hormones that might be antagonizing to different types of POTS, though I've seen so many transmen not have this issue, quite the opposite! They had their symptoms reduced or improve drastically!

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I know that estrogen of course is integral for immune system support too & some aspects of stress management, and really I've felt that too. Over these past years I now get sick like a dog, the flu has never hit harder than being on Testosterone. Man-flu is devastating lol.

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I've even wondered if it could be the OIL that the hormone is suspended in could have me reacting poorly & if i should switch how i administer it. Looking for any clues or solutions.

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Until I have coverage again I'm shit out of luck getting to my doctor, but in the time where I'm waiting I really just need to know if anyone else, trans or anyone one of any walk of life who supplements their T is having this similar issue?

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Hi all, unfortunately circumstances have made it so we have to clear out most of my grandma's apartment in 2 weeks for a safety inspection. On top of it she is being kicked out by the end of her lease in October due to her complex being purchased by Blackrock & they intend to hike the rent and renovated, its a whole mess.

But by "we" I mean just me and her only are working on clearing this, we don't have access to professionals or other friends and family who can help, but I did take all my work vacation time to do this, so we have more than just weekends thank goodness. (Total of 10 full days, then 4 days i can come over after work.)

Shes nearing her 70s, can be a fall risk, chronic pain & ADHD and hips tend to pop out if she moves wrong, and I'm 25 years old with POTS and other chronic issues that make it so i carry a cane and can only work in relatively short bursts, but I'm very efficient when I do and I am still strong.

My grandma had held off for weeks on me entering her home back when we had more time, and its the first day I've finally gotten to come in and help. I'm 100% understanding of the spot she is in mentally and physically, I've helped her for years, but

i wanted some advice on managing the situation and getting things done timely when working with an elder, because thats what I'm struggling with.

I don't want to bulldoze her or make her feel dismissed when I need to stop and redirect her focus, she gets very shameful of herself and hateful of her situation, and I keep reassuring her I'm here because I love her, that I hold none of her situation against her. She deserves to live freely again. I don't want it to feel like I'm throwing her life away with the stuff by trying to take charge.

I've been over here 5 hours with the goal to clean out her fridge and freezer, then do some dishes. I've done neither, I've helped of course get her some food and tea, tried to talk about a "go" plan for the apartment in general, waited for her pain meds to kick in (perfectly understandable!), and about 6 other small things that were not cleaning or going through stuff.

She needed to pick out the good food in the fridge and put it into a box, then I could clean out all of the rest. She is doing it now as I type this luckily, but time is a big factor longterm, and I'm a bit more worried about how I should approach this now.

Part of the plan was we're wanting to only have her get up sometimes from her bed just due to her body, the I do all the manual labor, I can bring stuff for her to sort through, etc.

I made a list to help avoid us from grabbing stuff she wants to keep inside while we are just trying to make space. (The necessities list) Basically a list of everything she absolutely needs for living over the next 2 weeks so we can quickly box up things then make space without stopping and going, basically we can put all the other stuff outside then bring them in for her to look through one at a time, then she'd put items in a "keep", "toss", or "donate" box.

She doesn't understand what I mean too well when I tried explaining the whole process, but I'll wait until tomorrow to try again after she gets more sleep, I know she'll feel more focused then.

Generally, I need any advice you'd think would be helpful. She's overwhelmed and so am I, but the good news is just when we get some specific stuff done to meet safety & fire hazard requirements to pass on the inspection we won't have to go so hard on ourselves and we'll have weekends in the up coming months to do some other stuff.

I'd still like to get honestly the majority of the work downsizing her apartment during these days, that way we only have to worry about packing later during the months up until her lease ending and some organizing.

Just any advice would be incredibly helpful, thank you for reading. I hope I don't sound impatient in my writing, I don't feel impatient with her, I'd do everything at her speed if we didn't have a deadline like this.

Hi all, unfortunately circumstances have made it so we have to clear out most of my grandma's apartment in 2 weeks for a safety inspection. On top of it she is being kicked out by the end of her lease in October due to her complex being purchased by Blackrock & they intend to hike the rent and renovated, its a whole mess.

But by "we" I mean just me and her only are working on clearing this, we don't have access to professionals or other friends and family who can help, but I did take all my work vacation time to do this, so we have more than just weekends thank goodness. (Total of 10 full days, then 4 days i can come over after work.)

Shes nearing her 70s, can be a fall risk, chronic pain & ADHD and hips tend to pop out if she moves wrong, and I'm 25 years old with POTS and other chronic issues that make it so i carry a cane and can only work in relatively short bursts, but I'm very efficient when I do and I am still strong.

My grandma had held off for weeks on me entering her home back when we had more time, and its the first day I've finally gotten to come in and help. I'm 100% understanding of the spot she is in mentally and physically, I've helped her for years, but

i wanted some advice on managing the situation and getting things done timely when working with an elder, because thats what I'm struggling with.

I don't want to bulldoze her or make her feel dismissed when I need to stop and redirect her focus, she gets very shameful of herself and hateful of her situation, and I keep reassuring her I'm here because I love her, that I hold none of her situation against her. She deserves to live freely again. I don't want it to feel like I'm throwing her life away with the stuff by trying to take charge.

I've been over here 5 hours with the goal to clean out her fridge and freezer, then do some dishes. I've done neither, I've helped of course get her some food and tea, tried to talk about a "go" plan for the apartment in general, waited for her pain meds to kick in (perfectly understandable!), and about 6 other small things that were not cleaning or going through stuff.

She needed to pick out the good food in the fridge and put it into a box, then I could clean out all of the rest. She is doing it now as I type this luckily, but time is a big factor longterm, and I'm a bit more worried about how I should approach this now.

Part of the plan was we're wanting to only have her get up sometimes from her bed just due to her body, the I do all the manual labor, I can bring stuff for her to sort through, etc.

I made a list to help avoid us from grabbing stuff she wants to keep inside while we are just trying to make space. (The necessities list) Basically a list of everything she absolutely needs for living over the next 2 weeks so we can quickly box up things then make space without stopping and going, basically we can put all the other stuff outside then bring them in for her to look through one at a time, then she'd put items in a "keep", "toss", or "donate" box.

She doesn't understand what I mean too well when I tried explaining the whole process, but I'll wait until tomorrow to try again after she gets more sleep, I know she'll feel more focused then.

Generally, I need any advice you'd think would be helpful. She's overwhelmed and so am I, but the good news is just when we get some specific stuff done to meet safety & fire hazard requirements to pass on the inspection we won't have to go so hard on ourselves and we'll have weekends in the up coming months to do some other stuff.

I'd still like to get honestly the majority of the work downsizing her apartment during these days, that way we only have to worry about packing later during the months up until her lease ending and some organizing.

Just any advice would be incredibly helpful, thank you for reading. I hope I don't sound impatient in my writing, I don't feel impatient with her, I'd do everything at her speed if we didn't have a deadline like this.

I know keeping the whey in with it is what helps get it sour, but i strain mine into a Greek yogurt and its almost never sour with or without the whey strained or kept in. I wanted to see if it was possible just going through the natural process before adding anything, trying to make the yogurt culture work with me lol.

I use just soy milk & some sugar, I haven't tried any one ones since its the highest fat/protien content of most vegan milks.

I'm very new at this and have only done a couple of batches, I mostly use it in baking but because of the lack of tartness the flavor doesn't come through.

I work in a funeral home, its family run (not mine, a friend's family) and for the past three years I've been passionate about caring for folks after they pass.

But it was intensely stressful, and its only gotten worse. So much worse. I had a stint in a hospital for my mental health too for 2 weeks at the beginning of the job, that was hellish and genuinely despite advice from my family I fought to be able to work again only roughly 3 weeks after the episode, definitely not enough recovery time, I was just so scared of losing this opportunity and needed to go back to some kind of normal.

But in general things are not being done like they should, and I put in a lot of work organizing things around the funeral home, I did heavy lifting and if there was a body other people couldn't manage, I would be the one they called over to do it.

I genuinely poured everything into learning what I could, studying by myself even though i wasn't told to, especially because things were always poorly explained or not explained to completion, so I'd have to fill in the blanks on how to do certain things. I'd also do pretty much all the detailed work and make sure things were thoroughly done, which... I was the only one doing that kind of stuff aside from the director.

I ended up excelling expectations but I got horrifically ill on and off mid way though my time here, I'd be off of work frequently, in and out of doctors. Me not being around the funeral home as much has made it x10 worse would i would have to come back, because I'd come back to a preproom that would need to be put back together and just so much basic stuff neglected by my coworkers that would ruin the timeline of getting things ready and done for a funeral service or records that would have to be fixed.

I'm not a manager, I had NO experience before this in this field but by the sin of being competent and eager to learn anything, I worked myself to the ground. I genuinely can't relax knowing I have to go back there everyday.

Maybe its because of autism or whatever, but I'm thorough and I take steps to reach even simple goals, and I've had to bust up how I do things normally and skip so many details sometimes in order to rush consistently, I became so apathetic because of it. It used to make me so upset I'd hide for a while to cry when I first started here because of how much i was being pulled around from making these steps so I could understand the work or was pushed around too many tasks that were not getting done to completion, with little to no explanation as to why. I didn't want to be upset, i actively work very hard to be flexible, like actively studying and doing exercises to mentally be more flexible, but I always seem to hit a wall that other people don't hit when it comes to breaking away from a process.

I don't do unnecessary work or steps, I don't like doing extra stuff that doesnt make sense not to do, I do those things so other things run smoother, typically its an investment for future work to be easier to do. I get told "don't over think it by" by my boss all the time, but then get looked at like I'm an idiot because something got missed- SOMETHING that WOULD have been covered by the steps that I was forced to skip.

The workplace has become intolerable and I keep getting more sick, I'm taking it as easy as i can and I've been managing my symptoms but I'm so scared of crashing and throwing this career away. I only had high blood pressure since starting this job, and now it drops and hits insane highs.

I'm so tired, right now the funeral home is going through a rough time and reliability is NOWHERE to be found among coworkers, we are down to a skeleton crew, and I've been a crutch for covering and pushing through rough issues with low staffing before this, but I am breaking, I can't keep going like this.

I have to take little breaks to relax enough to digest my food without feeling like I'll fall over after lunch, then I'll need another break before I'd need to go to the bathroom just because the blood pooling around my intestines leaves me feeling breathless and disoriented. I say I "have to" take these breaks, but doesn't mean i get them when i need them, usually i have to take them discreetly, if not, I have to push through it. Which just makes me borrow energy I do not have, make mistakes and just get worse.

This is the first job I've been successful at and respected, where I felt like I was doing work that was worth something so I feel really attached to it. But the pay is awful, the conditions are bullshit and so are the expectations.

I'm so tired and I train other people on the regular who do not care, and now I'm embalming bodies regularly too.

I think this stress and job really did make me sick. Im sure I was predisposed to some of the issues but this job pulled the trigger on my health and I don't know how to start getting better.

I'm burnt out and the idea of leaving to learn a new job is overwhelming, looking at indeed made me nauseous with anxiety, and worse what if my health just stays declining when i switch? And i fail at a place where I have no history built up to fall back on.

I was relying on getting a embalming and funeral directing license to have a skill I could immigrate with as well, the qualifications are something I haven't completed yet either. I'd need 2 more years here while going to college, a program i have yet to start. More stress i don't know i can a handle with how ill I'm getting and my expectations for work there only rising.

I'm scared and tired, and all I want to do is is be able to do enough work to pay rent. I'm embarrassed I got to this point, and motivated myself into the ground. I really tied my worth into this job.

I'm all ears on advice, this is a vent though maybe also a cry for help, but I'd love to hear other experiences people have had, either with their job or suspected cause of their dysautonomia, just anything.

Thank you for reading 💙

Work as a embalming intern and funeral home assistant, and at first I was super passionate and impressed that I was actually very suited for this job and that I was capable of being competent with a serious thing like working with folks after they pass.

I quickly took on a lot and became relied on for it, which at the time I was fine with cause things would run smoother if i did them, I'd learn anything and would study stuff i didn't know without being asked. But I started getting tired, then sick, then days called off because of how disoriented I'd get and how intense my heart would act up. Took a year of running through specialists but I got diagnosed with a chronic issue that can get debilitating some days. Sometimes its manageable, sometimes not.

I had to pull away how much i was doing and quickly realized, holy shit, if my coworkers ran the things I did we wouldn't pass inspection. Outside of the folks who ran the office, the technicians have been fucking up the records and I previously had been fixing these things without noticing, because if I saw a problem- even if it wasn't my job- I'd just fix it! It was like second nature, just how much i didnt realize how much i was doing until I couldn't do it anymore.

I'd do the major cleaning tasks, the minor ones, I'd manage the preproom logs, I'd detail tools, restock, do the laundry, make sure the cots look nice, patch & paint holes in walls, WHICH. None of those issues included the fact I'm embalming and taking care of the deceased as the only secondary person in the funeral home who does all the embalming, all the while I'm still IN TRAINING. On top of training other interns to work with bodies.

I WALKED MY WAY INTO MANAGING A PREPROOM. For 20hr.

Genuinely work has become my life because my job is all I have energy for, I have to pay my bills. But its too much, it doesn't seem like my boss recognizes how little work the other employees do or give a fuck about finishing, we keep running into issues but I do not want to let families down when they need us.

I've talked with my boss, legit issues especially dealing with health & safety get heard but it feels like the issues I'm having otherwise is just me being neurotic when all I get told is "deligate stuff to other people" and "don't over think it". Brother my coworkers don't want to hear anything from me, I've become a stick up their ass, what the fuck am I gonna tell them? How to clean a sink to completion and wipe their ass when they get confused? Fucking christ it happens most of the time, and I've just ended up becoming disrespectful as hell to them and I hate being this way.

Despite some things. I do feel a loyalty to my boss, but mostly because this is a business that is a big deal to the community I grew up in and especially to folks who struggle to afford after-death services, we are affordable. I just feel dedicated to keeping this place in the best condition possible, it helped me feel like i was apart of my community at the start. Part of the business runs on passion and its not like my boss isn't running themselves ragged too, this is just their life and they do 10x more. They've also personally have helped me out a lot.

I start school for getting my license in September, its a 2 year program, but to be honest I don't think i can pull myself through 2 more years and then some. I have to work this job while I'm in school because of requirements.

Maybe this is normal and I'm not cut for it, I'm so fucking tired.

I'm sick all the time, I'm in pain all the time, genuinely my social life is in ruins because managing how ill I am and this job. I'm around more bodies everyday than people I know and love. I feel disconnected from everything and myself. I feel so out of character from how I use to be.

I know how much I've said leads to a strong simple resolution of "hey, just get another job", but if I did that, I could be giving up this career all together, at least for a long time due to the laws it takes for an internship where I live, I'd likely have to move to try again. And more so honestly... I've never been academically successful in school, I'm confident i could nail it with everything I've learned, because school has been a struggle my entire life.

I've dropped out of HS, I dropped out of college programs twice, failed to go back a 3rd time, and now it finally it felt like I found something I could finish. And I don't want to let that go. I'm so tired of quitting on everything thats long term in my life and this is something I'm excelling in. Or was excelling in.

I'm so tired of quitting. I want to at least find ways of trying to overcome this before giving up.

Mb if this is a lot. Going through it on top of this job stuff with my engagement plans going up in flames. Tired and just sad as hell right now. I need something to focus on, I can't relax at all.

I'm just struggling with the call I got now about a month and half ago, I've been exhausted the past two years and been in and out of specialists and oncologists. Aside from slightly higher bad cholesterol and low good cholesterol, I'm fine according to all my results, up until I went to a cardiologist for a second time.

My heart looked perfectly strong and healthy when they took a look. But my heart rate would spike when I sat up, it would drop back down when I laid on the table, it was consistently over 115bpm when I walked. My average was 114bpm but it would get as high as 150bpm.

I didn't get an official diagnosis in my record yet, my Healthcare got cut off so i couldnt go to my last appointment to discuss my results but I got a call from a nurse basically saying that I likely have POTS, to eat more salt, and to keep track of what triggers my highs & lows with my heart rate, then make an appointment if something new happened.

I ended up doing research on POTS more, I wasn't able to get much more information about it from that office, I've always been big on drinking a ton water but I've been adding cranberry juice and electrolyte powder and its very quickly turned my energy level around. I can actually get a full day's work done without feeling like I'll drop, I'm not 100% but I can actually function.

I use to only be able to put my energy into work, barely that and still have to call days off, but I can actually go home now and vaccum, do some dishes, take a shower, never been happier to do a chore in my life. I can also be HUNGRY without feeling like I will fall over immediately if I don't get something to eat, I can actually just feel hungry without dizziness. Its almost maddening that just adding something to my water made this much of an improvement to my life.

I still feel extermely lost without more advice though, and I'm still tired, everything still takes more energy than it did 2 years ago and I feel embarrassed any time I bring up needing to sit/lay down for a minute when I'm at work. I've been preforming better but I can tell just asking for some breaks to sit have been irritating for the people & my employer at my job.

If you have any advice, GENUINELY anything, or you sharing your experience living with it, medical limbo, I'd love to hear it.

I only am making this because of a old archived post where someone was asking how to get the rich flavor in Pho broth that they missed in the past, and I couldn't find anyone else bringing up too many answers.

Folks kept reccomending oils & coconut oil specifically, which isn't a bad replacement but its not the same.

I'm not a expert in Vietnamese cooking but I am a expert in POTS making me sick as hell so I've lived off broths like water and I've broken down at least a couple soup bases I relied on to understand why they've helped me, Pho being one of them.

The main reason why traditional Pho has the rich & silky flavor/texture to the broth is the collagen. And the salt content never hurt too. Compared to the animal based process you're not going to get that soup flavor or texture from just vegetables but thats does not mean you can't.

If you have flavorless Vegan collagen you can incorporated it into your Vegan broths. I really reccomend it. I personally just take some very hot broth aside in a cup or bowl and incorporate a bit of collagen throughly with that side broth and add it to back to the pot once it's mixed in completely, make sure its free of clumps though I've never added enough for it to get a chance to clump. You can add it during cooking the full broth or after. You don't need a lot to get that texture, honestly you can test how much works best for you.

Also I use a soup base in mine in addition to onions, veggies, ginger etc and its Shanggie vegetarian beef flavored broth mix, very great brand and it does get me the closest to the old pho broths I use to enjoy when i add it.

My bad if other people already have gotten to this, and I'm just late to the party, I just had that post in my mind for more than a day and wanted to share.