u/Expeditio

Bipolar I autistic is what the mental hospital/my doctors say I am, feels more like bipolar and ctpsd (I don't know). I found out I'm bipolar after a severe cannabis-induced/effexor withdrawal lead me into the mental hospital. (June 9th of this year to June 21st I was in the mentally hospital)

Psychosis is scary guys, I don't like it. During my psychosis, I broke stuff, accused people of following me (paranoia), walked for miles while people looked for me, moved all my husband stuff out and left in the hallway of our apartment building and changed the locks for NO reason. He's a sweet man, don't know why he forgave me still.

I was still a bit paranoid coming out of the hospital. This is the first time I ever had a manic episode, and for the longest I didn't believe I'm bipolar because I feel like I don't fit in that bubble.

I work a full time job and have been in the same job for 4 years. I'm married, pay bills on time, have friends and interests, extremely frugal, even though I make a lot of money at my job and don't really have hallucinations or any "highs" just a whole lot of lows.

I think I learned to mask my bipolar at some point in my life because I am a completely different person when I clock into work and I can go from crying on the phone with my husband to talking to my coworkers with a smile in just a millisecond (and hoping they just didn't see me ball literal f\*cking tears), my husband said that I was masking, but what am I masking??? Sounds like bipolar now that I am typing this out.

I got a diagnosis from the mental hospital June 21st, a couple of weeks after my psychotic episode and I've been brushing it off as a misdiagnosis because if I'm bipolar then I'm super aware of what makes me bipolar and when I'm acting bipolar which makes everything so difficult.

When I came home June 21st, I was on Depakote from the hospital which zombified me and put me in a state of confusion and distress all the time and eventually doctors took me off of the medicine. They also gave me the invega sustenna shot in the mental hospital which is causing me more distress, I regret even agreeing to atp.

I'm ready to accept my bipolar diagnosis, but I keep telling myself and my doctors I was okay just taking effexor...but I don't want to be crazy. I don't want people to be like "you're bipolar? Yikes". People are not seeing my differently and I hate it.

Bipolar I autistic is what the mental hospital/my doctors say I am, feels more like bipolar and ctpsd (I don't know). I found out I'm bipolar after a severe cannabis-induced/effexor withdrawal lead me into the mental hospital. (June 9th of this year to June 21st I was in the mentally hospital)

Psychosis is scary guys, I don't like it. During my psychosis, I broke stuff, accused people of following me (paranoia), walked for miles while people looked for me, moved all my husband stuff out and left in the hallway of our apartment building and changed the locks for NO reason. He's a sweet man, don't know why he forgave me still.

I was still a bit paranoid coming out of the hospital. This is the first time I ever had a manic episode, and for the longest I didn't believe I'm bipolar because I feel like I don't fit in that bubble.

I work a full time job and have been in the same job for 4 years. I'm married, pay bills on time, have friends and interests, extremely frugal, even though I make a lot of money at my job and don't really have hallucinations or any "highs" just a whole lot of lows.

I think I learned to mask my bipolar at some point in my life because I am a completely different person when I clock into work and I can go from crying on the phone with my husband to talking to my coworkers with a smile in just a millisecond (and hoping they just didn't see me ball literal f*cking tears), my husband said that I was masking, but what am I masking??? Sounds like bipolar now that I am typing this out.

I got a diagnosis from the mental hospital June 21st, a couple of weeks after my psychotic episode and I've been brushing it off as a misdiagnosis because if I'm bipolar then I'm super aware of what makes me bipolar and when I'm acting bipolar which makes everything so difficult.

When I came home June 21st, I was on Depakote from the hospital which zombified me and put me in a state of confusion and distress all the time and eventually doctors took me off of the medicine. They also gave me the invega sustenna shot in the mental hospital which is causing me more distress, I regret even agreeing to atp.

I'm ready to accept my bipolar diagnosis, but I keep telling myself and my doctors I was okay just taking effexor...but I don't want to be crazy. I don't want people to be like "your bipolar? Yikes". People are not seeing my differently and I hate it.

(25f) I'm bad at explaining, but I was on a medicine called effexor for my anxiety and depression, and when my doctor increased my dose, I became hostile and was changing rapidly downwards. Long story short I cold turkey 225mg of it thinking it was going to help me but it spiraled into psychosis and put in a mental hospital. I didn't know that was what happens when you stop your medication. I'm autistic and I do things like this thinking I'm helping myself but I'm not.

During psychosis I broke light bulbs thinking there were cameras in them, walked throughout the city barefoot and broke all my husband stuff including his PS5 and his headphones, I'm assuming my brain thought my husband and everyone around me was out to get me, This is the first time I went psychotic and don't remember half of what happened.

I went to get it fixed yesterday and they said it's better to get it replaced and that broke me. I've been crying all day.

Everyone around me is saying that it was a mistake, but I'm tired of people forgiving me for things I should get yelled at for just because I'm a little autistic. I feel guilty, regret everything and don't know how to move on even though my husband has. I wouldn't be able to buy my baby a new PS5 until September and even then he wants to split money to replace it which I'm not going to let him do. I can't.

Please if you're on Effexor (Venflaxine), do not stop it. You're going to end up like me.

If you're going to be rude that's fine, I don't blame you. I'm beating myself up as much as y'all are.

My husband is a rural carrier and he was scheduled "available" for Thursday and his supervisor called him last night by text to go to work today and this morning as well and he did not go to work is he going to get in trouble?

Outside of 90 days*

Edit: this happened multiple times before, he's under a year, management hasn't said anything and at this point I want them to. I love my husband and want the best for him, but to me it feels like he's playing with fire.

Female. 25.

My doctor increased my dose to 225 mg from 150mg because I said I was still stressed some time in May and I went cold turkey because it was making me hostile. Fast forward to June 9th I spiraled myself into a mental hospital, I don't know if it was from not taking it but I did. I was there for 11 days on what I think was an anxiety induced mental breakdown.

I'm actively trying not to lose my job post hospitalization.

I'm stressed constantly.

I feel at a loss.

Even though I left it to someone, I had to do something important at 10:00am but the regret is glooming over my head

Boys I'm strapped in for stressssss

Everything I know is a lie right now. I was recently diagnosed with autism with a pre-existing ADHD diagnosis (AuDHD). I got diagnosed with autism on April 14th and everything I thought I knew about myself, I was wrong.

I don't have an anxiety disorder, I have a sensitive nervous system.

I don't have IBS, I've been overeating for a decade without knowing. (My dad stopped monitoring my eating when I was 15)

I don't have a urinary disease. My nervous system mixes up feelings.

I'm not an angry person. I used anger as a mask. My true feelings when I'm having a nervous breakdown (and not a fucking panic attack) is to fucking cry, but I have RSD like a bitch.

I just I don't know. I have a therapy appointment soon and I'm scared. I think I'm handling it well but it's scary man.

I don't know who I am anymore.

I'm actually terrified. I feel like I know a lot about myself, but some things actually scare me.

I started eating more than I should when my dad stopped monitoring my food. I moved out or wasn't home because I was in work or school, I love my dad), with that I was rushed to the hospital over 70 times for stomach pain for no reason. No matter what they couldn't find anything.

Fast forward now, something made me think about the portions I ate. Why did my dad monitor my food, why did I throw up all the time as a kid when my dad didn't let me eat more than he would let me.

Until this day, I still had unknown stomach pain that was misdiagnosed 5 times. Turns out I'm eating too damn much.

I got my late diagnosis in April, and every since then I feel like I've been lying to my own body. I'm scared.

I don't know if it's actually RSD or I'm ruminating hard right now, but I randomly thought about the time I told my coworker I'm not good at anything after I went adhd work mode for so long and did like 30 tasks accurately, she looked at me in utter confusion like "is this b*tch serious?"

I admitted yesterday for some reason,(it was probably brought up because my coworker called my other coworker slow), I am slow at throwing packages and they looked at me in confusion, this same confusion I had the other day, so I got to thinking and I think I do this because I fear being called arrogant. I really do and it sucks. Nobody wants to work with someone who knows they are good at their job and make sure others know that.

This is just a brain dump at this point and I start therapy soon so I'll bring this up to him, but at the age of 3 I was diagnosed with type 2 ADHD and the doctors straight up told my dad that they know I have that but they're "not sure".

Fast forward to early last year I randomly started questioning my adhd because I have hella sensory issues and I went to get tested and doc came back after 7 months of confusion and said "hey you got autism...and probably had it the entire time"

Now I'm becoming so aware of how my nervous system actually works, but I still have this small bit of confusion in my brain. Can one neurodivergent condition be stronger than the other??

No matter how many tiktoks I watch, or no matter how many Google searches I do I cannot explain grasp the concept of this. I have always been a music person and I firmly believe all my life straight silence doesn't seem like enough to calm anyone down neurotypical or not, but it does for me?

I recently bought some noise cancelling headphones, I'm late diagnosed so I'm relearning the reason for all my "quirks" and one of them was getting heavily overwhelmed in Costco on my first time there and I was told that noise cancelling headphones work best for audhd people in public settings so I was like "hey imma give it a try even though I don't think it'll work"

I just had a really intense moment where sh*t was just too much for me and I don't know why, but I grabbed them from my bag and got in my weighted blanket and after like five minutes I was fine. I want to know why only silence works because it just doesn't make any sense to me, wouldn't that spiral anyone more???

A little backstory my husband went to play the game last night and I instantly got overstimulated, I had a meltdown, it's like something in me snapped. The thing is I didn't know that was the reason I was overstimulated until my husband said I was "ok before he sat down to play the game", I thought it was because of a stupid joke my husband made. Then something in me was like yeah I think that's it. As soon as I realized all of the built up tension went away and I took a long nap. Is this an example of my alexithymia? I have level 1 autism

I have alexithymia, and overstimulation is really physical for me and when I'm overstimulated I get sick. It feels like three ninjas are in my brain beating my a** basically or sharp nails raining in my head. I feel it in my nose and face too. I am late diagnosed so I'm learning a lot about myself and how to maneuver life. Thanks.