u/Extra-Baseball-2616

So many abusers, users, weirdos, stalkers, perverts, pedos…. I swear to god the only thing im guilty of on this list is maybe being a little bit of a weirdo but that’s it. The amount of times ive been advanced sexually in a degrading and vain way is sickening. I don’t want to live in the same world as these creeps. How do I know you’re not lying? How do you know I’m not?? I hate having to rely this much on trust I just wish I could go back before that guy used me for his desires then treated me like nothing he was so mean to me afterwards I felt disgusting

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I’ve been learning anatomy for at this point 2-3 years?? It’s still sooooo much that I don’t know. I want to make cool drawings but am afraid I will never get to the level necessary to be considered a good artist. I think most of my stuff is FINE but there are obvious technical errors in some of my drawings. There’s always another angle or “slight tilt this way” or “curve here” that I’m discovering I’ve gotten wrong.

Usually there goes the latissimus, serratus, and obliques (which sort of resemble the serratus. On these models (which I often see ) there are a jarring three rows! Why is there some models with so many rows?? Even if the third row is actually just the obliques more pronounced it still looks excessive

I understand what it’s like to be the “trash” of society. I can ONLY imagine what it’s like being expploited and degraded by family, industry, and the internet while navigating this weird ass country/ industry as a mentally ill BLACK WOMAN. I know what it’s like interacting with sexually, physically, and mentally predatory men and family (I’m bisexual). I don’t think people understand that when you have developed that survival mode it’s not easy (sometimes impossible) to turn it off. See Nicki Minaj and how the hate has consumed her. There’s a reason for everything and I only pray for her mental and musical recovery, and that she finds peace. Azealia I LOVE YOU❤️🌟

I don’t even have the motivation to go to my friends bday party today and I even feel guilty for that. I just wish this dumb thing would end and I could stop being a burden to everybody. I’m so sick of hearing I need to make my own purpose and I might as well enjoy my time here, I’m not able to make a purpose because I know it’s a human construct just like every other theory, religion, and belief system humans will ever come up with. It’s a treacherous sludge from one disappointing to the next.

We all are gonna die and nobody will care save a few friends and family. Out of the many, many religions, belief systems, and faiths chances are yours is incorrect. We are walking amalgamations of meat and bones. Why should we continue. Why when the world is so dark. Nobody truly cares. Nothing makes sense.

On numerous occasions I’ve been accused of doing hard drugs by family mostly. I’ve noticed this being done with celebrities too by random people.. people seem to just love this particular rumor and will say it if you do ANYTHING. I’m not an argumentative person.. and I don’t do anything particularly odd to warrant this form of critique but I’ve noticed that people just like randomly throw it out??? It’s so damaging to one’s reputation and psyche. What should I do??

I just keep going insane trying to understand all of these concepts (namely the “Wu’s”.. non action, no emotions, no desires, etc..). I keep making mistakes in all areas of my life and don’t know how to know if I’m making any progress or in alignment with the Tao. I feel like I’m constantly failing to live up to the Tao’s demands and that there is always something left for me to learn/ understand. I’m sick of not understanding these parables and I just have a bunch of (admittedly a little arm chaired and interpreted from a modern western lense) research that I’m not implementing into the real world because nothing feels like the right move :(. I know I should slow down and be simple but I don’t see any answers from these practices and I’m starting to lose hope in everything. I especially don’t understand “the source that observes the sensations senses and watches thoughts arise ” and how we return to that which was before and the source and all that. I don’t even know if Taoism is true, or if any of these teachings will ever matter

This question just absolutely fucks my brain and I think it contributes to my analysis paralysis. There is just… so much. So many people, belief systems, complex phenomena on micro and macro scales, so much hate, pain, and love… for what?? I know “nobody knows the answer” but I just feel so lost in life…

I’m not a murderer. I would never murder anybody. I’m not a r4pist.. I would never touch anybody in that way. I would never vandalize someone’s property unjustifiably, yet all of these types of people exist. Why?? Why would god create such a messed up world? Why must I got on I see no point. Why would god just tell us what we are to do?? So many people hate their lives and curse god and honestly… I don’t blame them.

A few years ago I saw a (I think) profound vision on a certain something beginning with “psy” that made me rethink the way I seen the world. A large figure in the middle of space was blowing out a bubble (attached to his lips). Within this bubble was everything. Somehow my brain connected it to the entire universe being inside this being's breath and each particle being a planet, person, etc. I was shocked when I realized the allegory coincided with Hindu mythology. The world is just one of vishnus breaths I guess.

Everything makes me sad. Sad things make me sad, and happy things make me sad bc I know they’ll end. Recently I’ve been thinking about my mom getting older and reminiscing on childhood memories and have been crying so profusely. I’ve turned bitter from being of a low socioeconomic status and rot inside all day too ashamed to let the world see me or especially hurt me again. I dont expect to see anything on here that’ll change my perspective- I know I won’t actually- just want to vent. Bhuddism emphasizes the inevitability of suffering.. I find bhudist insights to be intuitive and have found this specific revelation to be true. I’m haunted by its implications.. as well as the concept of impermanence( I now pretend it doesnt exist or I’ll have an existential crisis). I ponder existential concepts and theories all day and find solace in none. Life is so confusing, jarring, irrating, sad, and brutal in mental and physical ways.

I AM SO DONE WITH EXISTENCE. So many years spent being manipulated, bullied, empty, dysfunctional, hated, hateful, confused, lost, low income, desperate. I’m so over it ALL. I’m not even respected in my own fucking community. Forget an economically or emotionally prosperous future. I’m over every single person and thing on this planet and I’m sick of it all I hate all of you honestly. I’m sick of trying to find a reason a shrivel of goodness in this lawless and cruel fucked up universe. I don’t want a preacher I just want to vent. Life is not fair and I might just start playing by its twisted fucked up rules.