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I'm still trying to figure out what is my art style so i think this might be fun

Mine are mostly sh i think. I binge because i hate myself, i hate myself because i binge.

I hate when someone posts anything , totally unrelated to food or weight and all the comments are like "eat a burger" or "i know what you are". Like maybe they have an ED but that's not a crime?? It's not something you choose to have , they are normal people and are allowed to be sick too.

Someone's ED is not an excuse to comment on their body.

Or people on edtwt posting them. I think that is so rude.

Like we all know that eating disorders mostly are not about only being thin or pretty, even if they have it that means they are struggling with something. Your comments are not going to make them magicaly recover.

Imagine trying to distract yourself from your disorder and posting something you enjoy, or whatever, and ALL the comments are about your weight and ed.

Yes disordered people are allowed to exist!

I wish people would just not talk about anyone's body or weight. Whether OW or UW,has an ED or not, celebrities or anyone else.

I very likely autistic (told by many doctors but never diagnosed). When im feeling bad i can't express myself or feelings well. Sometimes i get violent and can't control myself. Sometimes i can't talk or make a sound at all. Even online i often stare at the screen for a very long time without actually being able to express myself. It feels like my emotions are suffocating me and separating me from my thoughts . How can i change this or how can i ask for support when that happen?

For me i don't feel attached to my feelings/emotions. It feels like there is this thick foggy glass wall between me and myself. My thoughts are so far away like I can barely hear them and they don't really feel *mine*. Everything looks so unrealistically detailed. Too loud, too faint, too bright and too dark. Everything is so distant and shallow. I can't tolerate any kind of intense feeling like heat or anger. I cant genuinely empathize with people's feelings like before.

What about you?

Adults talk about teenagers like those cringe attention seeking creatures that don't have anything to struggle from. I can't say anything without being judged for it. I can't say that im depressed because everyone my age is depressed. I can't say that im suicidal because im just an attention seeker , even if i seriously attempted more than once it's not important because if i genuinely wanted to die i would have succeed. Sh/ed/anger problems? All are normal teenager girl phases and i will grow out of them.

Like even if its just a phase, Im dying from it. Am i not allowed to seek help just because of my age? Not even professionals cares because of my age. Is it really that 2-4 years that are going to make me valid?

I try not to but that results in me not talking to anyone at all. I don't know how to fix it.

I'm such an awful person and i feel like i need to vent to everyone and remind them that im suffering and im not okay so that they will excuse me or forgive me for being the shitty person i am.

I don't want to be so negative i don't want to ruin everyone's mood. I don't want to be that kind of friend but that makes me isolate myself more and be more depressed and lazy so now im even a worse person.

i feel like the only way to make my parents take me to a hospital is to have a serious attempt. and i had many but ive always failed to tell them why am i dying. i want to go to a hospital i cant take this anymore. i need a therapist or some medor anything. im tired im tired of everything.

im 16 and homeschooled so i dont have a teacher or a counselor to talk to, my parents dont believe in mental health and they feel ashamed because of me so they keep telling me that im fine and just need to study. im tired i cant do it anymore. i need help.

what should i do?

weight and death is all what i think about. i try to distract myself nothing works. im so so tired. i feel so hopeless these is nothing i can do. mental disorders took over every aspect in my life and i think they are going to end it soon.