u/FabulousSimpleLove

Through out our relationship did things, acted in a way or disrespected the other. It didn’t happen all the time, it didn’t happen often but it happened. We through a lot together yet everytime we still managed to go through it without fighting or arguing. We had few arguments. There were lots of times so many times I just let shit go. As I’m sure you did as well. I don’t know your motive for letting things go but mine was because I always loved you. I always cared more about you than the fight.. Yes after a few yrs I feel into a depression, I wasn’t there for you like I should have been, I tried anti depressants but they didn’t work. I know it felt like it was I didn’t want to be with you, that it was you and I’m telling you , even though it was so long long ago , it was never you! You were the person I loved that kept me in this world and my kids.. I see how that could have felt like neglect but it was not you.. The other side of that prob is that instead of talking to me you didn’t .. Then you decided that instead of talking to the person you took vows with,,a vow to be ea others person, a vow to work to make it through when it’s hard, a vow to share with ea other, to be ea others best friend, a vow to build the bond between us even stronger as the yrs go on, you decided to share and build with others. While giving me the bare minimum..

each year you thought you were doing a good acting job still treating me the same doing the same things as before so I wouldn’t know. .. well you are not a good actor. Not for me anyway prob for all the ones that actually don’t know the real you. All the women saying they know you yet didn’t know you have a wife, didn’t know you were married living a life telling your wife you loved her , she was your everything, you would never leave and if they did know they believed your lies about Dead Bedroom, lies about me being abusive and lies about everything else you told them..

Each year that went by I noticed the things you would once do you didn’t , the smallest things , the things like writing the exact same shit in any card you gave me over n over.. how your handwriting changed from writing with purpose with love nice handwriting to just scribbling the same verbiage writing it out sloppily .. you went from getting me things I asked for or things I told I liked when you asked to purposely getting the things I don’t like on purpose so you could use the whole “ see nothing I do is good enough” , “ you don’t like anything I get you” .. yep your right when you purposely get things I don’t like . That’s not you not being good enough that’s you being calculated cause you needed something to use to justify your behavior.. when we had to move, by then you just flat out didn’t give a shit about us.. so why even stay with me? .. why stay and buy a house with someone that you didn’t care or try to build a friendship with, or rebuild the bond we had at one time, we didn’t even have to speak to each other we knew.. I can for sure say my depression withdrew me and caused some issues but I never went to others like you did. I didn’t give myself to others but not you like you did me..

When we had to stay at your moms, you are right I was a bitch, I was pissed cause it could have been avoided but you had to do something stupid and lost your job when we were just starting to buy a new home and because of that we couldn’t..I was mad and I acted like a bitch.. I also apologized and changed the way I talked to you. I tried to talk to nicely if there was a issue but that wasn’t good enough, you were to immature to even see instead something like just asking you to rinse the dishes off before putting in dishwasher you turned it into me criticizing you. No dumbass it doesn’t get dished clean if you leave food on them.. that’s the immaturity you had, you don’t and didnr recognize when someone is making changes..

I made sure to never talk to you a certain way again and always come to you nicely with respect when asking you a question anything.. Why did you not notice ? Then for 2yrs before I found out I had been begging you for attention, for affection.. but you when I would try to talk to you about it, not fight but talk like adult, you would get instantly defensive, instantly nasty and aggressive.. why ? Cause you felt guilt for what you had been doing .. your behavior , your betrayal was the thing that ruined us.. I tried to hold on to you for yrs hoping you would remember the love we had , the bond we had but you were so wrapped up in covering your actions, that the defensiveness came out.

The defensiveness came out cause of the sub conscious guilt you had. You gave yourself to everyone else but me. You put nothing into us but a facade.. it’s funny you felt neglected but you caused that . I begged for you , I loved you with everything, I had already started to make efforts to change but you didn’t care , you didn’t pay attention to anything about me unless you could use it to justify your actions your deceitful behavior..

After I found out what did you do? I didn’t freak out on you, I didn’t scream at you, I said delete it all , stop lying , be truthful and we can work through it. What did you do ? Lie n lie some more .. we fought for days and finally one day on a Saturday, yes I remember the exact day cause of what I felt for a moment, that Saturday we had argued and then you blurted out, “ Yes I have been talking to women” and I froze. You were in the living room and I had walked in my room crying while we argued, then when you said that I stopped crying I froze , I had a moment of peaceful hurt.. peaceful cause I thought “ finally now we can work thru things. Finally he is willing to save us to chose us “ but then during that moment of silence between us, you realized that you wouldn’t be able to do it anymore, you would have disclose everything to work thru it, I bet you also thought , now you would be on some type of leash , you would be under someone’s “ control” cause that’s what you loved to spew out to me .. yet I didn’t control shit with you clearly as you were able to cheat for so long .cause I never checked your phone or laptop.. I let you do whatever you wanted .. so when you had that realization you decided to say “ if you want to believe that lie” .. oh plz.. then that feeling of peaceful hurt changed to total heartbreak at the realization of who you were and what you weren’t .. the realization that all those yrs I kept telling you that I felt you didn’t love me or care about me anymore was true.. that was the moment i heard the loud crack , thinking it was outside but it was actually in my head from my heart .. from then my spirit didn’t move like it did before ..

Then you became verbally mentally physically and emotionally abusive cause you were mad that you could t manipulate or gaslight or lovebomb me anymore .. our entire decades you never treated me like that.

There was no us that destroyed us . It was you! I may have talked snappy to you at times , I may have been moody, but I wonder why I was moody? I can say and see why you felt neglected when I was depressed but then before the baby came my depression was gone .. and even during my depression I always always told you how much I loved you how happy we were married .. driving down the road telling you I loved you. Us just talking away about everything like we would, us talking shit , and talking about the future.. yes I had a slick mouth, yes I was moody, yes I can see how you felt neglected when I went thru depression, I won’t ever say I was perfect yet I didn’t not deserve what you did to me .

The actions you decided to take towards me was undeserved. I can see how in the beginning you started cause you felt neglected . Except you never told me you never talked to me about your emotions period! So you didn’t give me a chance to fix it . And let’s be honest you didn’t want to. Not because you didn’t want me to fix it but because you enjoyed the attention from the women, you enjoyed that more than you would have enjoyed us being close again, you enjoyed that more than having me as your best friend.. everyone else was but you didn’t. Want me as it cause you needed to justify your behavior.. then when I changed my behavior towards you, making an effort to talk differently , not be moody and try to show you .. what did you do? You got mad cause the. You didn’t have a reason.. so you tried to come up with anything you could ..

I have written you emails apologizing for my part but again it wasn’t what you wanted . You didn’t want to stop and you didn’t want to develop a friendship, or rebuild the love the bond we had ..

I know it was hard for you to deal with what we had to when we moved but it clearly wasn’t that hard you had all your support from all your women. Yet I was begging you for attention affection the same when I was the one dealing with it all day and a little one.. you had your support who did I have no one ! Not you ! Ever! You never gave me anything but lies .. I have never met someone who lives such lies , who would not be mature enough, man enough to be honest and at 50..

I’m sorry you felt neglected. I’m sorry when I would get mad I would throw divorce out. Cleary I had a feeling . I made my efforts , I tired to change the way I talk , I tried to be less reactive. Which you never acknowledge you never changed anything… you didn’t care. So the only thing I want to know is why would you buy a house with me when you had been doing this way before we moved, you didn’t want to build a friendship a better bond in our relationship with Me.. you just wanted to use me as justification for actions , use me for why you did it .. when you could have just left before , I gave you plenty of outs before we moved., I gave you plenty of time ..so basically you kept me around not cause you loved me not cause you wanted us but just to justify cheating when you could have just left and been single.. you purposely kept someone around just to hurt them .. just to make me feel unsafe around you with your behavior..

You’re right I didn’t want to be alone with you. You had become unhinged trying to keep your secret . You threatened me over n over . Knowing I had trauma. From my past . But now you want to try and act like what I did was so egregious . What you did was abusive and cruel . You don’t have to worry I’m not trying to be with you . I’m not trying to get someone who lives a lie bck who didn’t want to build anything with me from the beginning clearly.. you just kept someone to hurt them to lie to be cruel.. I know that now . I see it now . What type of person just keeps someone around that they have no interest in being friends or anything with… and let’s that person take care of their family while they just ignore them , they buy them cheap gifts thinking that will work.. but not any emotions , no friendship , no feelings of care respect or love.. what kind. of person does that?

I’m sorry I ever met you, I’m sorry I loved you so much , I’m sorry I wanted to be your friend , your lover and your companion.. I’m sorry I cared for you , I’m sorry I made efforts to be better for you .. till I realized all I got from you was lies and facade so I went silent. No need to waste my energy or anything to just go over and listen to lies.. I was still nice to you . I told you over n over our relationship was over but you didn’t want to divorce you wouldn’t do it amicably so I had to just live my life sep from you but you tormented me when I didn’t bother you anymore , I didn’t asked for your attention anymore or affection or friendship cause you just wanted to give me lies .. then stay up all night on your phone .. you brought women into our home .,

Ok I’m not going on anymore . I have lived that miserable life long enough now. I’m done reliving it. You can say whatever. But what are you so mad and bitter about ? I made sure to give you what you wanted since you clearly didn’t want to do anything but stay hurt and torment me , I lived in anxiety and fear .. from someone who used to quite my anxiety by holding me in their lap.. that is who I loved ..

Yes I do miss the facade but then I realize it was never real from you.
If you want to talk or txt or email . I will answer but I don’t usually txt or call people who tell me that they hate me and want me dead.. sorry I don’t know anyone who would . Or you can right a letter. I won’t be nasty or anything towards you . I will be like I always am to everyone.. nice.

Goodbye I will always wish it was real . I will always love you, miss what could have been but I did what I could to try so I have no regrets .
Bye honey.. I’m sorry you have to be like this live in lies anger insecurity and self hate.., I always felt honored to get to love you , till you made it clear it wasn’t .. anyway.

Good luck honey, . Miss the laughs the fun the easiness of conversations
Bye honey ..

This is all I wrote for you. I haven’t been writing to you for awhile and won’t again after this. I’m tired of this it is what it is .. right ?! All my love

Your wife

Absolutely evil and you know it . Your conscious knows it and your heart. That’s why you can’t stop hurting or thinking about me about us cause what we had was a great relationship till you had a mental break .. you can come on this app and lie all you want to get people to agree with you and cheer you on but you know its all bs. That’s why you will never stop thinking and crying over me. Yes we had some problems but nothing that couldn’t be solved between us .. nothing that we couldn’t have solved without counseling.. I know you never had a real long term relationship but the issues we had were issues that if we both sat down and listened to each other with care but you made sure that we couldn’t do that cause all you did was hide and lie.. so you go ahead and make up whatever bs list you want about betrayal but just like your excuses it bullshit . What you did was blew up your whole family everyone that loved you to get ur dick wet cause you were falling into a depression with tbi injuries that were finally coming into play. So instead of going to get help you decided it was everything and everyone else that was the problem. The drug use made it all worse for you! The drug use made you think things that didn’t ever go on between us were real, made you believe all the bs you said about me , made you think that we never had a great relationship when we did made you lie to people made you become someone evil. You made up shit saying I was extorting you, that I wanted you dead , that I was trying to kill you . WTF! You did this and that is why your brain your conscious and your heart is not letting you just move on and it won’t ! Your heart and conscious knows what we had and you did the drugs to cover the guilt you felt cause what you did to us to me was unreal .. the only one in psychosis is you .. and it’s about to get 10x worse cause of what you did to our family to us !

When you started not feeling right tired all the time it was depression it was your tbi and ptsd finally affecting you with the stress of your mom you had a break .. I’m not saying this out of anger I’m not saying this to be a bitch . It’s real! I knew that I would prob have to deal with some type of issue with your head injuries and ptsd but i sure the. Fuck didn’t think it would be like this .. I have been talking to alor of vets and yea a lot of this is what happens especially with drugs,..

I’m very scared for you and worried cause it’s about to get worse .. I can’t believe all the bs you have made up to justify your actions and you won’t ever feel good you will only get worse cause you did all this.. you can lie to people who know jack shit about it but you can’t lie forever to yourself cause you are not this person you will only get worse .. you have become everything your father taught you not to be . You won’t be happy you will only get worse and you will only yearn more, miss me, cry more for me cause what we had was real was special but instead of talking about things you let it ruin you and us . I’m sorry but this time your head has done a number on you I know you have been afraid of it happening but you could have gotten help .. I am very worried about you . I’m scared for you.. you can not listen but I have been right about everything so far.. I told you that you were going to regret and throw someone away that loved you and your heart and sub conscious won’t let you forget or let go cause I didn’t do anything that deserved what you have done to me .snd cause you had a mental break .. and the drugs made it way worse .. we didn’t have a bad marriage yes we had issues but our issues were not anything that we couldn’t have a conversation about we wouldn’t even had to go to counseling but you imagined all this shit because your conscious was having a hard time with you going against your morals and integrity with who you were .. I’m sorry you did this I’m so sorry and I tried to stay I tried to show you but you just wanted to hurt me more and be cruel . I’m sorry but you won’t get better it’s about to get way worse for you.. I loved you I love you and it hurts I had to do this cause I didn’t feel safe anymore I couldn’t sleep knowing you had these illusions of things that diidnt happen. Like you thought I was going to kill yoh you thought I was going to murder you . None of that ever happened or ever entered my mind ., I know it was so hard with her and it was to much for both of us but what you did instead of getting help only mad it way worse for you.. and destroyed us our family our life . You became paranoid from your guilty conscious for what you were doing behind my bck the drugs made it way worse and activated your injuries .
I know you don’t believe me but it’s true and you just lost us all and now you are about to be so miserable you have hurt so many people ., you have cheated and lied . Even with all you have done to me I was still willing to work thru it . You don’t hate me you hate yourself for what you did to me to us to our family .. you are mad cause you got caught and then thst really made you spiral.,
I loved you honey I always did always will I’m sorry you did this I’m sorry you wouldn’t get help and I’m sorry you lied instead of saving us. ., I know you feel bad and I know your ptsd tbi psychosis is telling you what to make up what to lie about .. I can’t believe this is ending like this . You are doing things you would never do you are thinking it’s making you happy but your miserable you are being someone you never have been and it isn’t who you are ., that’s why you aren’t happy no one will make you happy cause you had love real love and you ruined it well your injuries did ..
It’s about to be bad and if you need to txt or call I will reply or answer and not report it or anything.. please get help please you have made the biggest mistake and it’s about to affect you bad don’t keep using it will only make it worse.. honey I love you I don’t hate you I’m scared for you.. very scared cause I know what’s going to happen just like I knew how you were going o feel about everything else cause we had a great relationship once it was not way you said or your were made to believe ..
I’m sorry I had to do what I did but I didn’t feel safe you made up things that didn’t ever happen .

I’m sorry you did this I’m sorry I loved you still do !

Absolutely evil and you know it . Your conscious knows it and your heart. That’s why you can’t stop hurting or thinking about me about us cause what we had was a great relationship till you had a mental break .. you can come on this app and lie all you want to get people to agree with you and cheer you on but you know its all bs. That’s why you will never stop thinking and crying over me. Yes we had some problems but nothing that couldn’t be solved between us .. nothing that we couldn’t have solved without counseling.. I know you never had a real long term relationship but the issues we had were issues that if we both sat down and listened to each other with care but you made sure that we couldn’t do that cause all you did was hide and lie.. so you go ahead and make up whatever bs list you want about betrayal but just like your excuses it bullshit . What you did was blew up your whole family everyone that loved you to get ur dick wet cause you were falling into a depression with tbi injuries that were finally coming into play. So instead of going to get help you decided it was everything and everyone else that was the problem. The drug use made it all worse for you! The drug use made you think things that didn’t ever go on between us were real, made you believe all the bs you said about me , made you think that we never had a great relationship when we did made you lie to people made you become someone evil. You made up shit saying I was extorting you, that I wanted you dead , that I was trying to kill you . WTF! You did this and that is why your brain your conscious and your heart is not letting you just move on and it won’t ! Your heart and conscious knows what we had and you did the drugs to cover the guilt you felt cause what you did to us to me was unreal .. the only one in psychosis is you .. and it’s about to get 10x worse cause of what you did to our family to us !

When you started not feeling right tired all the time it was depression it was your tbi and ptsd finally affecting you with the stress of your mom you had a break .. I’m not saying this out of anger I’m not saying this to be a bitch . It’s real! I knew that I would prob have to deal with some type of issue with your head injuries and ptsd but i sure the. Fuck didn’t think it would be like this .. I have been talking to alor of vets and yea a lot of this is what happens especially with drugs,..

I’m very scared for you and worried cause it’s about to get worse .. I can’t believe all the bs you have made up to justify your actions and you won’t ever feel good you will only get worse cause you did all this.. you can lie to people who know jack shit about it but you can’t lie forever to yourself cause you are not this person you will only get worse .. you have become everything your father taught you not to be . You won’t be happy you will only get worse and you will only yearn more, miss me, cry more for me cause what we had was real was special but instead of talking about things you let it ruin you and us . I’m sorry but this time your head has done a number on you I know you have been afraid of it happening but you could have gotten help .. I am very worried about you . I’m scared for you.. you can not listen but I have been right about everything so far.. I told you that you were going to regret and throw someone away that loved you and your heart and sub conscious won’t let you forget or let go cause I didn’t do anything that deserved what you have done to me .snd cause you had a mental break .. and the drugs made it way worse .. we didn’t have a bad marriage yes we had issues but our issues were not anything that we couldn’t have a conversation about we wouldn’t even had to go to counseling but you imagined all this shit because your conscious was having a hard time with you going against your morals and integrity with who you were .. I’m sorry you did this I’m so sorry and I tried to stay I tried to show you but you just wanted to hurt me more and be cruel . I’m sorry but you won’t get better it’s about to get way worse for you.. I loved you I love you and it hurts I had to do this cause I didn’t feel safe anymore I couldn’t sleep knowing you had these illusions of things that diidnt happen. Like you thought I was going to kill yoh you thought I was going to murder you . None of that ever happened or ever entered my mind ., I know it was so hard with her and it was to much for both of us but what you did instead of getting help only mad it way worse for you.. and destroyed us our family our life . You became paranoid from your guilty conscious for what you were doing behind my bck the drugs made it way worse and activated your injuries .
I know you don’t believe me but it’s true and you just lost us all and now you are about to be so miserable you have hurt so many people ., you have cheated and lied . Even with all you have done to me I was still willing to work thru it . You don’t hate me you hate yourself for what you did to me to us to our family .. you are mad cause you got caught and then thst really made you spiral.,
I loved you honey I always did always will I’m sorry you did this I’m sorry you wouldn’t get help and I’m sorry you lied instead of saving us. ., I know you feel bad and I know your ptsd tbi psychosis is telling you what to make up what to lie about .. I can’t believe this is ending like this . You are doing things you would never do you are thinking it’s making you happy but your miserable you are being someone you never have been and it isn’t who you are ., that’s why you aren’t happy no one will make you happy cause you had love real love and you ruined it well your injuries did ..
It’s about to be bad and if you need to txt or call I will reply or answer and not report it or anything.. please get help please you have made the biggest mistake and it’s about to affect you bad don’t keep using it will only make it worse.. honey I love you I don’t hate you I’m scared for you.. very scared cause I know what’s going to happen just like I knew how you were going o feel about everything else cause we had a great relationship once it was not way you said or your were made to believe ..
I’m sorry I had to do what I did but I didn’t feel safe you made up things that didn’t ever happen .

I’m sorry you did this I’m sorry I loved you still do !

Always love you . I must leave this place you just hurt me more n more with your lies.. you clearly want to make sure we are nothing but enemies .. all I want is to sit in you lap and have you hold me but I can’t cause I can’t stand the trash you have been with and chose over all of our memories.. you show me it’s not worth anything to you.

I will be here crying in your spot . Wishing you loved me and valued what we made .. I love you always have always will..,I’m sorry I never purposely tried to hurt you I never purposely would .. I don’t know why it makes you happy to hurt me.. but if it does than go ahead cause I can take it if it makes you happy that is al I want for you..

I love you always will ..

Sitting in your spot in a ball crying for someone who hates me .,

He wasn’t .,why was I not wanting to through away something I loved so much but he was.,why was I willing.to still fight after the way he treated me and our life together..,why would someone be so cruel to just lie to someone for 23yr and tell them they love them and all the bs., I guess I know what a real love takes .. I never wanted to have to have this conversation with my kids ., I thought he was a real man a man of integrity.,someone who would own their mistakes ., one day someone will waste his love and throw away him and use him .. it’s always comes bck around 3x worse ., I miss my family . The love I receive now the treatment the care the friendship is what I wanted with him and I thought I had that bond the kids saw it , everyone saw it but he chose to forget it .. how coukd I love someone like that ., how could someone be so manipulative instead of just leaving wanting to hurt me . I thought he knew me but he never did he never paid attention. He never saw the struggles I had he just did everything he could on purpose to hurt me the opposite of what I would say or ask for and I still stayed with him and put up with it cause I loved him., well he will be miserable and never find what we had . It will come bck to him it always does just like my ex it came bck when I was already married then he tried to get me bck the first 4 yrs of my marriage. Now look at him.,,

I try to do good by people . I can be moody and shut down at times but I am still a good person who tries to love people even when they hurt me ..

I have the love I deserve now I have the happiness.. but I miss my family but I guess it’s time for me to shut it down like my first..,all he had to do was talk I would have moved mountains for him he clearly never would for me or even give me a chance or us . Bye honey I loved you to bad you purposely pushed it away and chose not to build..,

Now on to a new life I had always wanted with him but his spot will be replaced at all the family functions and family outings..,he will be missed but he has already started to phase out the kids have already started moving on .. I wish you chose to be a fighter but he won’t in any relationship. It will all hit him one day when he’s with someone else what he lost ., and it will be to late . I loved you and you knew it .

I stayed and tried you told me you hated me over n over . You didn’t love me .,you wanted me dead and you wanted to do it.. and you didn’t love me anymore . I didn’t want it to end but you made it clear over n over .

I miss us . I miss my family. I miss our life . I miss the man I married .. I wish you wanted us I wish you would have remembered what we were to each other the bond ., everyone but you seems to remember especially the kids..,but you rewrote it for your narrative.. and this game on here u still play so I know it’s time for me to stop wishing for you and stop thinking I or us mattered to you cause I def tell your actions have shown me otherwise especially the ones on here..

I loved u ..I will be loved again and cherished . I just never thought it wouldn’t be you.

You did things just to hurt me. You lied over n over then tried to turn everything on me… you told me mean cruel things .. to someone who had been by your side thru the good and the bad .. It hurts to know that you meant everything to me and I meant nothing to you. That not only you enjoyed hurting me then over over.. you still enjoy hurting me.. I wasn’t perfect but my love for you was and it didn’t matter .. I won’t run back to or reach out to someone who made it so clear with cruelty that they didn’t love me .. how much was i to take ? You wouldn’t put up with not one of the things you said or did to me but I still stayed ., the things you said and did where vicious.. on the daily and rubbing it in my face when you knew I knew .. just to purposely hurt me.. yet you thing I would reach out for that to be with someone who would do what you did to me.. then you want to post on social media nasty things about me . Our pics with me taken out .. you brought women in our home, gave them my things, brought them on our bed .. you didn’t care you didn’t love me that is pure evil yet you have the audacity to try to say I did shit to you! I stayed for yrs waiting for you to chose us to see you were losing me.. then you did the most evil thing by not telling me about a email.. I wasn’t perfect but I sure the hell didn’t ever do the cruel things you did .. then you want to sit up all night talking to other women only fans.. I can’t believe the cruelty and you have the nerve to think that I would go bck to someone who would do that to me .. all you do is show me how little I ever meant to you. God how I loved you for decades, how I thought what we had was something special and for you to do what you did and then you are out there still trying to blame me because you were evil.. I had hoped to get anything to show your remorse your willingness to fight and take real responsibility in real life but you haven’t and no matter how it hurts me day after day to not see you ,,to not have the daily laughter we used to have the conversations .. I deserve someone who would value me .. appreciate me ., love me with the devotion .. I miss you everyday but I haven’t had the you that loved me for years so I don’t miss the daily heartbreak I felt everyday knowing what you were doing when you left for work.. or when it was time for bed. The only way to keep from hearing your cruelty towards me was silence.. you have no self awareness no concern no care or love .. sorry you didn’t appreciate the one that was devoted and loved you for decades.. sorry you can’t take responsibility or even want to without trying to put blame or take real life responsibility not on here which is not reality.. I’m sorry you threw me away threw us and our life away .., you are the one that has the control to keep us our family and you refuse to do anything but still lie to everyone to make me the one .. that shows me everything.., you won you ruined me you ruined us and broke my heart .. you didn’t care and still don’t how I cry for the man I loved the man I spent decades with to only cry more realizing how long you have been lying to me betraying me .. why didn’t you just go .. I cry now my heart aches .. I hoped that I meant something we meant something that you would figure a way to show me but you just show me how happy you are to hurt me and show me I’m nothin to you.. how long was I supposed to put up with your cruelty.. goodbye R I’m sorry you couldn’t see what we had what you had and always had right by you even when you purposefully hurt them.. I do miss you but you show cowardice to still try and put this on me after what you did .. I will always miss the family we had but I realize I can’t be with someone who would treat me so horribly then still continue to outwardly lie that I did this .. I won’t ever be with you again since you still chose to play this game so you can act like you are so heart broken and miss me on here but like always no actions towards us just so you can continue to see others.. clearly you moved on and clearly you have shown me that we are nothing but a game for you.., enjoy your game and I hope all this makes you happy while you ruined your entire family and we miss you .. since you make it clear by not ever calling txting or emailing or even sending flowers to show the smallest.. i know now it is a game and I won’t b with someone who not only does what you did but lets other say things about me who don’t even know the truth.. god I miss my family i wish I meant something to you . But life goes on and there are many that are willing to treat me the way I deserve .. I wish you had and would .,why did you do this? How could you be so cruel?

Bye ..

R. ..You should not have made our relationship some game. You should have not turned it into something that is an online joke . You are 50 not high school.. I wanted us . You were my home and all you did was ruin us then lies about it and tell me you wanted me dead and didn’t love me .. wtf . If you want us than I guess you should stop this crap on here cause if you wrote anything on here apologizing or telling the truth it means nothing .. you turned into a lunatic you made me feel unsafe around you which I never thought. You didn’t care about me our us. And clearly you still don’t and don’t have any remorse cause I haven’t rescued a txt call or email.. so I will continue on with my journey without you like you wanted and like u have made clear and still do .. I mean you lied to me about having a gym membership. About everything stupid or not you just lied . Then you want to try and act like I did this . I was here taking care of your mom begging you for yrs for attention and affection. For yrs .. you used drugs u drank and you turned into some lunatic made me sick I lost 100lbs down to 60 lbs cause how much you hurt me and you didn’t give a shit .. I loved my family I loved you but I don’t know this cruel lunatic.. well if I don’t hear from you in real life thru txt call email I will continue on my journey without you like you have been being clear that is what you wanted .. oh but your mad and hurt again.. always about you . Be the man your dad thought you were and take accountability apologize prove you want what you threw away .. if not good bye .. I loved you and sorry you didn’t value what you had . A loving family ..

Then stop fucking showing me that this is some game you put online on this app. Stop with this bs crap . Any apologies any truths thst you wrote on here mean absolutely nothing to me except you still are making our marriage a joke .. fucking take responsibility for the horrible things you have done to me the last years . You didn’t appreciate shit I did.. taking care of people making our home nice for you to come home to. You fucking did this! You told me over n over you wanted me dead . Well as long as I see crap on here and I don’t ever hear from you face to face or get apologize and accountability than there is nothing more to say .. stop lying stop playing victim .. I didn’t want to lose my family but I am sure the fuck not going to be treated the way you have since we moved here and you know exactly.. if I don’t hear from you then I will just continue on and assume that you would do and be the same to me and I am worth way more . Sorry that you didn’t value me and thought you could treat me this way. But clearly I loved you when I gave you the chance to be honest with me . No one else but me but you didn’t want to you wanted to lie . So fine . You said you wanted to put a bullet in my head and acted like a lunatic . I didn’t feel safe with you anymore I didn’t know this lunatic .

I will continue on my journey and If I never hear from you I understand and wish you well and happiness and am sorry you wasted my 20plus yrs .. I loved you but I don’t love this person you are now .

Well R I hope you and the one you had relationship with behind my back for so many yrs are happy now.. I loved you deeply, thought that we had a bond, thought what we had was more than just romantic love not that I didn’t romantically love you but I thought we had something rare . I saw you I watched every blink, twitch and movement. I heard every noise, syllable, word and sentence.. They all said the same thing you didn’t want us. You chose your life that wasn’t what we planned. I’m sorry that you had to be fake about who you were .. I would have helped you hand n hand stood there like I always did. But you don’t need me now cause I found out you have had the one who is sleeps with married men. Well I hope you find your happiness now and someone you actually want to share your life with and yourself .. I thought I had but the laughs the easy convos the fun the family , us, it was all just a facade to you nothing real ..well it was real for me, I was real, I loved you with the same love I began with.. I never thought of cheating never thought of another only you only us.. it’s so funny you want to talk about the silence the last year .. well you gave me silence the last 8yrs. You never shared anything with me, I know because you like to throw things share with you in their face in an argument so you worried I would do that but I never did or would.. but you didn’t and don’t know me at all the last 8 yrs you have been to busy with her and others..busy sharing who you are, sharing your emotions n feelings with them but of course the last 4 yrs it’s only about you . I never thought we would be here I never thought someone would do this to someone else . I never thought you would be so cruel. For yrs I had dreams of all this happening and the cruelty that happened yet I said no those can’t be true he wouldn’t be so cruel.. well like all the rest they came true.

Sorry you didn’t have the maturity to handle your feelings issues or problems with me with us.. well at one time I had hoped we mattered and hoped that you would prove to me and show me that we mattered . I gave you 2.5yrs but you made it clear with your treatment of me that there was no reason for me to continue to stay or to continue to love us .. I begged you for 3yrs before I found out about your cheating for your attention and affection then for another 3yrs after I found out and stayed to show you what mattered was us was you but you decided to treat me worse and lie more .. so why are you so mad why are you talking shit about me haven’t you lied enough you got the outcome you wanted from it. Wasn’t that the point to get me to leave to end us.. so why aren’t you just being happy I ended it like you wanted… I had hoped to hear from you to talk but just like before nor reason for me to do that I learned my lesson.. good luck I hope you have happiness and joy. I wish I could say I will look back on the decades with love but I can’t when all I was told was lies and my life wasted with someone who doesn’t value decades together .. I’m sorry I wish it wasn’t.. goodbye .. I won’t write anything anymore .. if you want to talk or txt I will txt bck or talk and no one will know or if you need me I wil be there like I always have cause I’m still loyal.. all my love best wishes for your life w/o us and our family.. Goodbye honey I’m sorry you didn’t love me but you know I always love you sorry ..